My Husband Works So Much I Feel Like a Single Mother: Advice?

Money isn’t worth being in a marriage if you feel alone in it. You can get a job and be alone by yourself. I don’t think you are selfish at all for wanting time with your husband.


:joy::joy: im married. Husband lives at home but works a part time. I work full time and a part time, I do all the housework, do majority of the cooking, pay majority of bills, still manage to be super mom, pay for part time daycare, I feel like a single mom yet I’m married. Yes I know I married a lazy one and now I’m paying the price. Atleast yours handles the bills. In the end, we all have our struggles.


My husband was like this he said it was his way of not thinking about stressfully things and making sure we always had our bills paid. I talked to him and that didn’t work so I stopped doing everything for him and I told him if he don’t take care of me by being with me on his days off I would take care of him. He got mad at first but since then he makes sure to take sunday’s off every other Saturday off and he we have date night every 2 weeks. Maybe do it to him see what happens

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As long as its just work n his love for you still there emotionally n physically dont worry…sum men don’t work let him do wat he needs to

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Sounds like military life. Mine was gone 6 months out of the year. I raised the kids and took care of everything by myself. Felt like I was all on my own. Navy always reminded us that he was married to the navy and if they wanted him to have a family they would of put it in his seabag!

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I’m so glad all the women perfectly content with being side lined in they’re marriage as long as the man is paying the Bill’s have decided to chime in :rofl:
I was 100% more of a single mother when I was with the twins dad then I have been since I left him. I have built a community of love and support that I would never trade to be the loneliest person in a tradition nuclear “family”.


My husband is a logger, he wakes up at 4:30 six days a week to go to work, home maybe at 7-8 pm eats, plays with kids, showers bed by 9:30-10, sundays he’s fixing something, helping someone, doing yard work, or going hunting. Maybe one Sunday out of the month do we get to do something together as a family, rather have a busy man then a lazy man. Not saying I don’t have to remind him sometimes he’s gotta give us some of his time but I’m happy he remembers to give the kids time every night bedtime

I bet he listens now

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My husband is gone from 5am to after 8pm Mon-Fri and sometimes Sat too. STILL nothing like being a single mom. My husband communicates constantly, and makes sure to be affection when he’s home, asks if I want him to work or stay home when he can and brings me flowers and treats often. It’s the effort that makes all the difference. The fact that he CHOOSES to be out of the house no matter what you say answers you. He’s not happy at home nor does he care to fix the problem. Find your way out because neither of you are happy and I’m sure your kids can feel that.

Ignore morons who didn’t understand what you said and tell you to get a job to help. You’ll find bitter bitches taking their frustrations out on others everywhere, don’t even acknowledge them.


Been there! Let that piece of garbage and he fully walked out on our kids. I’m now remarried to a man who actually loves me and my kids. Bills are paid and we know we are actually loved.


Meh. Sounds like he’s taken up a side job alright :grimacing:


I’ve been with my children’s dad 16 years, and he works all hours under the sun, day shift and nights plus overtime… I’m a full time working mum too but finnish work when the kids Finnish school so I’m.always around, I’ve spoken to my partner about all the hours he works and we dont spend as much time as I would like as a family but hes ethos has always been and will always be he does what he does to make sure we as a family are looked after hes 10 years older than me and the job he does is very stressful like many others and his biggest worry is when hes gone that we are all ok… its swings and round abouts unfortunately… we just make the time we are together is spent doing something as a family … hes doing what he feels is best for his family …

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I’m gonna be honest. As someone who’s been there. A man will focus on whats important to him. If he’s shutting you down like that. He doesn’t value you enough to hear your feelings. Money is wonderful if y’all are struggling and hes trying to provide. But, it almost sounds like he’s avoiding real life.
I pray im wrong. And i really truely hope y’all find some way to communicate and work through this


sounds like he’s taken up a “side job” alright.


Make sure he is actually working…

He is in love with capitalism not his wife. Relationships won’t work if one person only focuses on one thing especially money. There needs to be a balance and communication. He might be cheating or doesn’t like his home life.

Idk man, I used to like the grind, working and moving all the time. It didn’t mean I didn’t wanna be around my family, but I wanted money so I can do things with them. But regardless he should still tall to you and not push you away. Idk I’d also wanna be a little sneaky and try and find out if he is really working or not. Maybe you can take a ride to check it out where he is working

Try being a military wife… My husband can be gone for months at a time… It takes a strong woman to be strong for her whole family.

If you want him to work less, maybe you should get a job so you can help with the bills. That way you both are providing for your family and he would be able to spend more time with you and the kids.

Hes provided for the family.

I was married to a man who never made time for me and didn’t work. It messed me up mentally. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He’s a fulltime tow truck operator. Our first date wasn’t planned. I rode with him and the moment he had no calls holding was our first date. My profile pic is of that date. Men arent always that creative. Maybe grab some Chinese to go and meet him wherever he is. Don’t give up on him.

My husband works like yours too. It does feel a little personal at times. He was a workaholic when i met him in HS and has never changed. I feel put on the back burner too sometimes. But in the end I’d rather him be this way than lazy and a couch potato. I’m very proud of his worth ethic and workmanship. Tell him you appreciate his hard work. I make his lunch every night. Try to get him to rest etc. The kuddos go a long way. You might see a difference. Just an idea.

If aman spends to much time away it usually cuz he need’s the money to keep providing for his family but he don’t take time out to at least spend time with you and ur kid’s then you migth need to Look into this cuz there could be more going on,especially if he won’t take the time to Listen to you may be he has so many job’s to do try to talk to him with out getting up tigth good Luck he could be stressed out because of work

8am-9:30pm?!?!? So you get to see him and sleep next to him from 9:30pm-8am (10 1/2 hours) I thought like you with past exes. Now Im in a relationship where my fiancé is ONLY home for 5 days and gone for 4 weeks! What I would give to see his face and hold him every night. Cherish your time and appriciate his hard work.

But I will say that he should make a day off about just you 2. No distractions.

Try talking to him again… personally If my partner was at work all the time and never made time for myself or the children I wouldn’t be happy,yes he can work to provide ect but he also needs to make time to spend with family and make memories…no point being with someone if all you feel is alone… obviously if he worked FIFO,shift work or in a career that forced long hour’s/day’s apart than it would be different…Even if you worked it doesn’t mean he would change and spend more time with you all…He should be willing to listen to what you have to say,you are his partner…

It could be that he’s dealing with some issues? Some tend to keep busy to avoid thinking about it

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I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. Iv been the sole bread winner a d iv been a stay at home mom. Iv gone 2 school while working 2 crappy jobs a d caring 4 kids on top of that. Iv been the mommy that feels trapped at home with the kids and no time 2 myself. While I understand why my husband was so stressed being the only provider while i was a stay at home mommy we still argued often. When neither partner feels they are understood and feel the other just doesnt care is when it either falls apart or takes more 2 make the relationship work. Talk 2 him more or get a therapist. Otherwise the relationship will come 2 a violent end nobody wants that. Consider everything u both are going through and go from there.

Ask him! Marriages go through seasons.of change. I’m not saying what he’s doing is okay, but there may be something he’s trying to work through. If you’re feeling unloved, say so. If he won’t make time for you, send him a text or write a short letter to tell him. Ask him what it is he wants because he may not know.

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Maybe he needs some time by himself and that’s the way he can get it, I dont really see the problem here, you could have it so much harder, he could be a meth head, not do anything at all trust me just because they’re home doesn’t mean they’re gonna help out, I think you need to sit down and count your blessings

I wouldn’t be concerned so much about him working as much as he is, but more so about that he doesn’t care to listen to you about it. It’s one thing if he’s doing it for his family, but another when he is prioritizing the jobs over his family. Quality over quantity.

(I felt the exact same way with my ex, which is why he is now an ex. My husband now works a lot too, but when he is home he makes it all worth it.)


Wow. You’ve asked and he said no. What is he avoiding by working so much? I think it’s time to re-evaluate your marriage

Who are any of you to discredit how she feels ? I get it being a single mom is hard I have a lot of single mom friends but when your man is gone all the time you tend to feel that way. I am sorry you are going through this and I hope something changes. I am sorry that you feel like you are single because that isnt what marriage is suppose to be. I wish nothing but the best for you.

uhhmmm…u sure the jobs aren another woman :eyes::neutral_face::thinking:

Ok so my husband went back to school while working a full time job. He was gone 5am-9pm everyday for 3 years… it was awful and we almost divorced BUT he graduated and thanks to COVID he works from home right now. What I’m saying is he could be doing this for the benefit of the family in the long run. Maybe instead of condemning him ask him if what he’s doing is for a reason. And remember it may be hard now but it will eventually get easier as he reaches his goal

My husband does the same thing. We have a 2 year old and autistic 12 year old. He yells at me for not doing the laundry and always downs me. He is also never home. Makes stupid excuses to go to his brother in laws. And he always said he’s helping family out and that I don’t know what having a family is like bc my mom passed when I was 15 and my siblings and dad just all went our own way. I tell him I want him home more and he doesn’t care…and if he stays home he’s pissy and just talks on the phone all night with his brother in law…he doesn’t even eat dinner with us anymore.

So I have to say I see everyone on here mentioning different things about why he might work so much and all that is good and all but has anyone here taken a second to look at how he talks to her when she says she trys to tell him how she feels that’s horrible and you deserve better then that if money is a problem then consider getting a job to help out if it’s not and your financially fine then he should be cutting back on his side jobs but either way you guys need to communicate and if he isn’t willing to listen to how you feel and continues to tell you he is going to do what he wants regardless of you then you need to leave him your kids will just hurt otherwise in the long run and so will you.

My exhusband worked 60+ hours a week and always helped anyone who called him. He actually preferred work and the sense of accomplishment he got from his job and praise he got from helping others. Unfortunately he never understood that I needed him to help at home. I tried to express to him every way you could think of for years, he never really understood. Eventually I just stopped asking him and didn’t need him anymore. When he finally realized that I didn’t try to include him in the activities at home and did actually try to be involved, it was too little too late for me. My only advice I guess is stop asking and including him… he will either notice and step up, or continue the path he is on. If he doesn’t step up, then you will have to decide if it is worth keeping the relationship for you. You are in my thoughts lady :heart:

Because he is either having an affair or has simply left you in his heart. Don’t take it. It’s cruel and no slouch should be treated as you described

You go girl. Now his messages sound like no body does him fair. We know different don’t we.

Like the way you are feeling

It sucks that so many women are bitchy and have the expectations set soooooo low for men that they think ignoring the family’s needs is cool.

What about a man who is gone because he VOLUNTEERS for things with no pay??