My Husband Works So Much I Feel Like a Single Mother: Advice?

Relationships
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QUESTION:

"My husband takes on so many side jobs and projects to help others that he is never home. He’s gone from 8 am- 9:30 pm almost every night.

I’ve asked him many times not to keep himself as busy as he has been, but he doesn’t listen. He just calls me selfish and says he doesn’t have time to listen to me. Then cuts me off.

Says he’s doing it regardless of how I feel. Never listening to my feelings. Is all this money he’s making really worth the big old ax he is putting on our marriage? Why are these jobs so much more important to him than us? Does he maybe not love me?"

RELATED QUESTION: My Husband Expects Me to Be Home with Baby 24/7 While He Works and Has a Social Life: Advice?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“First, it sounds like he has NO respect for you. Second, I would be questioning if he was really working the whole time BECAUSE of that disrespect. Third, if he won’t listen to you and at least hear you out, maybe it is time to move on. Sorry, but in a healthy marriage, being that heavily disrespected and silenced isn’t healthy. I hope you and your husband work things out, but if you can’t, take care of yourself and your children.”

“I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband is a workaholic. My husband would be gone for months at a time making a name for himself in his career. I was ALWAYS alone. No friends or family close. I was a single mom my husband just sent money. For the longest time, i resented him and was mad thought about divorce. For years I felt that way. Then one day I sat down and had a serious talk with MYSELF. Did I love him? Yes. Does he support me and my kids? Yes. Do I want to work? No. You have to decide if you can live this way forever because chances are things won’t change. I started living my own life basically, going on vacations, hanging with friends, visiting family as often as I could volunteering places. I have my own routine my own life and enjoy the time we spend when we have it. When my kids got older I worked when I wanted so I had an adult life. I always felt guilty about going out like I shouldn’t because I didn’t want my kids to be with a sitter or I shouldn’t without him. FUC* THAT NOISE!! Live your life like he’s living his. Pm me if you ever need anyone to talk to. My door is always open to ANYONE!! Good Luck!”

“And honey, taking care of kids while someone else provides for them is far from single parenthood. Trust me.”

“Sometimes you have to count your blessings. You will either build with a busy man or babysit a broke man.”

“Take a real good look! I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I recognized this kind of story. There could be someone else he paying special attention to.”

" He could be working because y’all need it. He could be taking on the extra work because he’s stressed about having a new child. He could be doing it because he’s depressed and that is his safe space instead of being home. Or he actually could just be selfish and not want to be around y’all."

“Working I see no issue with but the name-calling and not willing to compromise I see a huge issue with. As a married couple, you should be able to speak about things, compromise on things, and communicate without disregarding one’s feelings and emotions. Explain all you ask for is time so plan 2 days a month for date night or even an afternoon lunch. If he can’t give you that then hell I would replace and find someone who can.”

“While it is nice he works hard to provide he also needs to remember he has a family that needs him as more than a paycheck. Set up a special dinner once a week with a show you both like. He still needs to make time for you and to not be rude when you ask for his emotional support.”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

37 Likes
2

I feel like that everyday. Even though hes here I do everything and I mean everything.

2 Likes
3

JA Do yall( your family) need the extra income)???, JS

1 Like
4

Do you work? Is what he does necessary to facilitate your living situation?

5

are you sure hes actually working the whole time?

20 Likes
6

He is being selfish by neglecting his wife and dismissing your feelings. You deserve someone who not only listens but cares what you have to say. If he doesn’t see that it’s straining your relationship and it’s hurting you, then he honestly doesn’t care. That is a longggg day for him to be at work. You need love and attention or eventually you will get tired of it and leave. Talk to your husband or at least try too. If he doesn’t see an issue or doesn’t want to make any changes then maybe you should leave.

12 Likes
7

He probably needs the money to support the house,you, and baby

4 Likes
8

Some men feel like the only way the can contribute is by putting bacon on the table. Cut him some slack. He’s probably trying to provide you with a life his family was never able to accomplish. Do you guys need the extra income? Or does he just like to keep busy? Are you seeing the rewards money wise with how much work he’s putting in, or are you not seeing the income to work ratio? There’s so many variables, no one can answer without knowing him personally.

15 Likes
9

In a time like this, He is working. Be great full. It’s a blessing. He is taking care of his family. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or doesn’t care. Tell him how you feel without yelling or arguing try to be calm. Make dinner have a night just for you guys

4 Likes
10

He could be working because y’all need it. He could be taking on the extra work because he’s stressed about having a new child. He could be doing it because he’s depressed and that is his safe space instead of being home.

Or he actually could just be selfish and not want to be around y’all.

8 Likes
11

Im not sure if this applies but i am a workaholic. It started when my mom died i worked sooo much to avoid the grief. Then i realized i was doing that and i started slowing down then my dad died and cranked back up . So maybe he works to avoid feeling something just an idea.

2 Likes
12

Take a real good look! I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I recognized this kind of story. There could be someone else he paying special attention to.

9 Likes
13

Do you need the extra income? If you don’t, that’s absolutely not okay for him to do. If you do, just remember he’s doing what he can to support.
Sounds sus.

4 Likes
14

Maybe hes just worried about financial stability? Retirement? Sudden health issues and you need money to fall on? My husband used to be a lineman working on power poles and he was gone 5am till about 11pm at night, come home, barley have time to even eat, shower, or sleep and then he was back at it the next day so i know how it feels to not have him home…

15

I feel this my husband works from 2pm -about 930pm but he leaves aroun 11 pr 12 pm and most nights hes not ever back from work however my situation is different im a sahm and hes he’s supporting me and his child while i homeschool her its it’s not alot of money comming in but he works his ass off to make sure we are ok yes it strains our marriage and more often then not im lonely and when we ate are around each other we argue A LOT but i I still love him and i know hes he’s only doing this because he cares

16

If the pay matches the hours you ain’t got nothing to worry about. But what about days off?

17

First, it sounds like he has NO respect for you.
Second, I would be questioning if he was really working the whole time BECAUSE of that disrespect.
Third, if he won’t listen to you and at least hear you out, maybe it is time to move on. Sorry, but in a healthy marriage, being that heavily disrespected and silenced isn’t healthy. I hope you and your husband work things out, but if you can’t, take care of yourself and your children.

21 Likes
18

Make sure their isn’t something going on. Really odd that somebody would work like that. Don’t be fooled. Give him an ultimatum.

6 Likes
19

Sounds like he wants to provide for his family. Is money tight?? When he comes home he probably wants to eat bath and sleep. Does he have one day off?? Of so suggest a day out have a picnic then discuss him cutting back some.

1 Like
20

You sure he’s “working”? I’ve seen this story before.

4 Likes
21

Thats one reason I divorced my husband after 17 years…figured if I had to be alone and do it all myself I was better off!

3 Likes
22

My boyfriend is the type who work comes first. The way he provides/his love language is through working hard to support his family. It could very much be that way for your husband as well. Maybe instead of thinking how it affects you, think of his intentions. Maybe have a nice steak dinner with wine ready for when he gets home one night. Talk to him, ask about his day. Being a provider is how some people (especially men) show love.

Sit back and honestly look at the whole picture not just your feelings about it. Don’t assume the worst.

7 Likes
23

As a single mom who gets $200 a month in child support for two kids, I’d deal with it and have me a side piece :rofl::rofl: I’m kidding!!

At this point you’d have to evaluate what’s important to you. You’re not being heard but you guys are being taken care of, that’s a tough decision. As a single mom you’d have to work which takes time away from your kids and hope he doesn’t become a deadbeat since you guys aren’t in together :woman_shrugging:t3: either way, do what’s best and healthiest for YOU!!

2 Likes
24

I would say he’s trying to take care of you but the conversation you said you guys had is very telling. Sounds like there might be someone else or some secret

1 Like
25

And honey, taking care of kids while someone else provides for them is far from single parenthood. Trust me.

9 Likes
26

Go with him and see how long that last

27

Working his ass off could be a good thing as long as he’s able to provide for you and kids but him cutting you off when you’re trying to talk to him & telling you he doesn’t have time is a form of disrespect. He is out the whole time so giving you little time to talk about how you feel is also his responsibilty as a partner. Maybe you should calmly ask him to listen to you first before he makes a comment. Maybe you can sit down & talk when he is off. It’s not healthy if he keeps on cutting you off when you start talking. He is the provider but trying to ask for little consideration from him isn’t a selfish act. Your feelings matter, too.

28

My husband does this too just not as bad but we need the income he has a job but there’s no work so he has been getting sent home and when that happens his pay is short and that means things go unpaid so he works extra to support me and our daughter!

1 Like
29

He is doing for giving you better life . You can make friends and enjoy with them till the time he is busy.

1 Like
30

Working I see no issue with but the name calling and not willing to compromise I see a huge issue with. As a married couple you should be able to speak about things, compromise on things, and communicate without disregarding ones feelings and emotions. Explain all you ask for is time so plan 2 days a month for date night or even an afternoon lunch. If he can’t give you that then hell I would replace and find someone who can.

4 Likes
31

You have very valid feelings. It might be time to see a couples councillor to save your marriage.

3 Likes
32

I have never and will never bitch about my husband working too much lol… ever.

33

If he wants to work that much tell him you need one dedicated day that he stays home with you and the kids my hubby works 50-60 hours a week but makes sure hes home every sunday or works extra hours on friday so we have him for the weekend also I would bring up to him about opening his own business so he has others working for him so hes not always out

34

Sometimes you have to count your blessings. You will either build with a busy man or babysit a broke man.

15 Likes
35

My dudes the same. Its a Waste of time, and i would rather be on my own .doing my own thing. Believe me you can’t sacrifice your happiness for someone who doesn’t respect yours.

4 Likes
36

I just came here to say I’d rather build with a busy man than babysit a broke one. I’ve lived in both situations and I married the one who works his butt off for his family. Luckily, he gets off an hour after I do and I’m not stuck home with the kids 24/7 anymore. Perhaps the thing you really need is something you can do for yourself.

3 Likes
37

Girl the father of my child is a Paramedic and hasn’t been home in 4 straight days. This is the price we pay getting to take care of our own babies at home. Its rough, but if he doesn’t need the side jobs then by all means let them go…but if its whats keep the lights on then you gotta put your big girl pants on and ride with it.

6 Likes
38

He is working to support his family. You will be glad one day when you have retirement and everything you need and want…
There women out there that would given anything for a working husband. Support him.

1 Like
39

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband is a workaholic. My husband would be gone for months at a time making a name for himself in his career. I was ALWAYS alone. No friends or family close. I was a single mom my husband just sent money. For the longest time i resented him and was mad thought about divorce. For years I felt that way. Then one day I sat down and had a serious talk with MYSELF. Did I love him? Yes. Does he support me and my kids? Yes. Do I want to work? No. You have to decide if you can live this way forever because chances are things won’t change. I started living my own life basically, going on vacations, hanging with friends, visiting family as often as I could volunteering places. I have my own routine my own life and enjoy the time we spend when we have it. When my kids got older I worked when I wanted so I had an adult life. I always felt guilty about going out like I shouldn’t because I didn’t want my kids to be with a sitter or I shouldn’t with out him. FUC THAT NOISE!! Live your life like he’s living his. Pm me if you ever need anyone to talk to. My door it’s always open to ANYONE!! Good Luck!

12 Likes
40

Sometimes men stress out differently than we do… he’s trying to provide financially. A lot of the time when I talk to my guy friends they feel like that’s the number one way they can help (even if we tell them we just want them home to give the kids a bath and eat dinner). I’m sorry he’s not being receptive to your feelings.

1 Like
41

He’s throwing up some red flags.

1 Like
42

Start ignoring him. I bet he won’t like that. I will add. Thank God hes not spending his time in a bar. My hubby did that a lot when we were young. I can look back & wonder why I put up with it. But he’s always treated me with respect & I took my vows seriously Good luck to you. Just don’t be a nagger or whiny wife.

43

But do you work? Is he just trying to provide for you and your family?

44

My husband is a firefighter/AEMT and was recently gone for an entire week. They work overnight so for 7 days we didn’t see him at all lol.

1 Like
45

My Husband worked away for months at a time, when he was home he’d often do 16 hour days 6 days a week. I never dreamed of complaining, it was his job and he was providing for our family!!! I made friends, enjoyed time with the kids, and made the time that he was home really special. If he worked weekends in the summer I’d often make really special homemade lunches for him, his favourite pulled pork sandwiches and homemade muffins and cookies and we’d take that to him and have a picnic lunch. I’d put on s cute dress and he’d get to show off his family a little to colleagues :blush::blush: On his one day off I made sure all the house chores were done, and I’d often cook meals in advance or we’d go out to eat so it was a real day off for me and we could spend all the time together. On holiday weekends when he had three days off we’d take a mini holiday out of town, once we took the kids whale watching and checked into a hotel with babysitters and a spa for grown ups!

There are plenty of ways to make life special and prioritise family time when you have a Hubby who works long hours. And no need to be a nagging ungrateful grump he doesn’t want to come home to.

1 Like
46

is it his full time work commitment or work and out helping/hanging out with others on top of long work hours ?

47

While it is nice he works hard to provide he also needs to remember he has a family that needs him as more than a paycheck. Set up a special dinner once a week with a show you both like. He still needs to make time for you and to not be rude when you ask for his emotional support

1 Like
48

Also, my husband has been gone for work from 10am-1am when he does overtime and yes I did feel all alone but he still made sure to make time for his family

49

Many men bury themselves in their careers/jobs etc to avoid the challenges of one on one relations with their families. Many find it more stressful to be home with their kids.

50

Are you guys having financial stuggles? Is he working for the family or to be away from the family?

1 Like
51

Ask him why he prefers to be out than to be at home? What is he running away from? Ask why he prefers the company of others over his family? Maybe see (or Zoom) a marriage counselor. If he refuses, talk to a therapist alone and ask for strategies to deal with your situation. Ask him what he would do if you worked outside the home.

2 Likes
52

Do you work also? Or is he the only provider? I’m not saying by any stretch that your feelings should be discarded. What I’m getting at is, having been in both shoes, I can understand if he’s supporting the household financially and doesnt want to feel guilty for doing so. I’m working while my husband stays home and I’m ridden with guilt about always working but I know we need money to keep bills paid and food on the table. It would make me feel awful if he were to start complaining that I’m never home

8 Likes
53

Yeah he would always make time for you if you mattered.

3 Likes
54

If he doesnt make enough at one job steadily I can see the extra money. But if he can afford and provide for y’all with one job (if your not working) then he dont need to ignore yall. Cause eventually you’ll get tired of being alone.

2 Likes
55

Lady you’re lucky! My husband worked a job where he was away from town for 5days a week! They finally shortened it to 4 a week.I raised our 5 kids almost alone.

2 Likes
56

It may not be that he doesn’t love you, some men like mine also are bred to work and thats how they show love by providing. They think that that shows us they love us. Look into the 5 languages of love. It may help. My man is gone from 5am till 9pm alot of days with work and we have a 2 year old, and I work part time also… He was brought up being taught that when you love someone you work hard for them so they never go without. Even though I tell him he doesn’t need to work that much. I feel like a single parent most days also. I have just learned to accept it, as he is trying his best🙂

8 Likes
57

I find my village
Find a local moms group etc.

58

This is a tough one. Cause it totally depends on your goals and achievements as a couple. Maybe buying a house instead of renting.
Is he the only one working and providing the income. Not a bad thing. But something to consider. Is he in a union with benefits. Or paid hourly? Or on salary?

As a mom you have the right to time to yourself. And to help from your spouse. But consider both your parts, not that any one person is working harder, but if he is putting in more hours for a pay cheque , he is still tired after work. Just as you are tired after caring for kids all day!

Maybe on his day off from work, you relax for half the day. And then he takes the other half to relax.
Compromise!

1 Like
59

It depends why he’s taking on the jobs. Is he the sole provider, is money tight? Etc. if you guys are getting by well, he might be taking them to get away from you. Sorry if that seems mean but maybe having a talk and getting to the bottom of things can help. Good luck.

1 Like
60

This is what ended my marriage :woman_shrugging:t3:

1 Like
61

Depends if he’s the sole provider he’s gotta do what he has to to keep food on the table and a roof over your heads. If you are both working and financially fine then I’d get it.

62

So many factors this could depend on. Is this a recent change in behavior? Are you struggling financially? Does he have other issues that he needs to keep himself busy in order to avoid those issues? Maybe he needs more responsibility at home/with kids?

63

I have been married for almost 20 years amd this has been our life for oh so many years and still is. We both work to provide for our family but also work opposite shifts to make sure someone is home with our kiddos at all times. Also when I did stay home he worked 24/7 to provide for us. If he feels he needs to provide for his family this is what he will do! I have pretty much raised my 2 boys by myself because my husband has worked so hard to provide for us!

1 Like
64

Ignore some of the rude comments… as I see some, you have every RIGHT TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL, all feelings are valid. Just cause he’s home, and working around home, don’t mean you are “lucky.” I understand where you are, coming from my husband used to make bank, but wouldn’t get home some nights, till 11pm. I wanted to spend time with him, I wanted to see him etc. I did not take on the roll, of him being gone or off, elsewhere. so ehhh… it was the hardest, with me, to not see him. I hated being alone, he was my best friend! He worked EVERY weekend almost, Saturday AND Sunday, we never did NOTHING, as a family. But he eventually realized the money and how he was being treated wasn’t worth it, he doesn’t make as much now, and we are still doing well. But he gets off at 4/5 PM, off every weekend, and his boss is like family. I do help, I work when I can, and find odd jobs, it’s hard where I live, to find good work… but I mean, even if he is the sole provider, if you have what you need, food, water, a house, the essentials, being there for you, shouldn’t be a issue, one day out of the week, stop with the jobs. You can miss out on so much, when you are constantly working, and I get it, no one is gonna agree with me, when you have to work, to make money, money needed for bills, I get it, I do. But idk… I hope things, get better.

1 Like
65

My husbands gone from 5am till 6pm and when he gets home he works on our house eats showers spend a little bit of time that he can with us. I raise our daughter and am currently pregnant… I am very proud of my hard working man and appreciate everything he does for us… Im very fortunate to have such a good man… Just from my point of view every situation is different tho

66

He’s cheating on you

2 Likes
67

Honestly mines was in the military for 10 years, a lot of the time I felt the same way, one day I had enough (I know there is only so much he can do in that type of job) I explained calmly that I understand he wants to provide for the family, but he needs to be apart of that family too before his kids forget who the hell he is, kids don’t care about who made money and how much things cost, they remember who was there and who was not, after the conversation he made more time for his family, now he’s out and we have been way better. If your husband can’t make the time something else is happening behind the scene because you can always make time especially if his job is in the same city/state as where his family is. Good luck mama always follow your gut even if it means moving on, a family dynamic can still work if the parent aren’t together do what is best

1 Like
68

Does he get paid for these side jobs and projects?? I hear ya though- mine is gone from 5 am until sometimes 9pm too- nature of his work though. He’s providing though so I hold down the fort. My guess is he’d probably rather be home with you but good men worry about providing and providing well soooo just maybe it isn’t about how much he does or doesn’t love you :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes
69

You sure he’s working?

10 Likes
70

Seems like he is maybe trying to escape the home life and making excuses to be out or away.

11 Likes
71

Relationships have its ups and downs. He might feel on top of the world because he is able to work so much and provide a great life for his wife and kids while you sit at home feeling like a single mom.
And talking isn’t helping. Man you could get a friend of a friend to call him and act like they need him to come out to such n such address for some side job (which will be a restaurant or whatever kind of meal , picnic, candle light dinner near the beach) and do a surprise date night. Say it’s the only way you could get his time was by hiring him.

8 Likes
72

Marriage is about balance. You need to water all parts to grow. So yes spending time together and communication need to be watered. He might feel the pressure to stay up on payments of everything and wants to stay ahead so he may think his only choice is to work. But if he seems to shut you out when you bring it up, that makes it difficult to communicate about it

4 Likes
73

These jobs are important to him because his family is most important. If he’s the financial provider for the family he’s gotta make money to support y’all. Feelings don’t pay bills. Have you considered finding a job so that he doesn’t feel the need to do side jobs to make ends meet? Maybe if you’re both working he’ll be home more often or just be grateful that he works so hard so you can stay home and raise the family. Many women have husbands who are gone for weeks or months at a time. My husband took a job at the beginning of this year that allowed me to work part time and be home with our child more often. He’s also gone a lot more, sometimes out of state for a week or two at a time. We just make sure that we make our family time special when his schedule is like that. I appreciate how hard he works so I don’t have to. Maybe think of it differently instead of throwing him under the bus.

4 Likes
74

Are you guys hurting for money that he needs to do those side jobs? Did he do this before you got married? Is he secretive with his phone? Do you make him dinner? How often do you have sex?

3 Likes
75

Just thank God that he is willing to work for you. There are a.lot of men that just want to sit home and do nothing.

5 Likes
76

My ex boyfriend was exactly like that. I had to beg for him to spend time with me. Never begging for someones attention ever again. If you’ve expressed to him how it makes you upset and he doesn’t change. Then leave

9 Likes
77

Maybe he’s a workaholic? And he doesn’t know what to do if he ain’t doing something lol

78

Are you a stay at home mom? He might feel the need to do all the side jobs and work to feel like he’s providing well for his family. Instead of telling him not to work so much, see if he can schedule at least one day a week where he doesn’t do any side jobs and you get to spend time together. My husband is a pipeline welder so he’s constantly gone. For the first year of my son’s life, the longest he was home was for Christmas (3 weeks off). I had to travel in order for them to get their time. I’m a SAHM and realize that if I like being at home with my child and the great life he has provided me with, then I will have to sacrifice some of that time. But, he’s sacrificing too at the same time by being hours away from family and friends, living in a camper (although it’s nice it isn’t our house), and most of the time raising our son on FaceTime or long drives just to have 12 hrs at home. Marriage is all about give and take. It’s not always 50/50.

6 Likes
79

He’s likely cheating

2 Likes
80

My husband is on call 24-7. It’s never easy as a woman to be alone. However some men aren’t taught how to show affection etc so they work… They slave to provide for your family. So idk… Look at it from his eyes maybe. (Not all men are capable of seeing our views) and instead of making him feel bad for breaking his back for you and yours maybe treat him like your proud and appreciate all his efforts. Nothing every changes in a relationship if no one takes the first step to change. If that doesn’t help then I honestly don’t know sweetie.

81

Is he the only one making an income?

4 Likes
82

I’m sorry but he’s cheating

5 Likes
83

Maybe you can get a job?

3 Likes
84

Watch The Founder and see how you feel then

85

Sounds like an escape. There is working to provide and then just plain avoiding being home.
You’ve talked to him? Expressed that you need time and help with the kids?
Trust. Me. Don’t waste your life waiting around for a man to love you the way you need to be loved.

Again, If he’s working to pay bills that’s one thing. If he’s avoiding being home and ignoring your feelings then it’s not going to get better.

19 Likes
86

Sounds like y’all ate overdue for a serious convo. If he blows you off, turn off the tv, take away the food or whatever you gotta do and say no, we are talking now. Put your foot down and dont let him steam roll you with his aggressiveness. Ask him if he cares whether you stay or not. Realizing the marriage is in jeopardy is often an eye opener.

1 Like
87

Counseling. That or leave him. That’s very toxic behavior I’m so sorry.

2 Likes
88

Is he doing it to provide for the family to pay bills and stuff or is the extra money not necessary and he is simply away from home for selfish reasons?

1 Like
89

Im sorry you have a hard working man taking care of you and your kids.

9 Likes
90

While I see him wanting to work and support his family, I would be questioning why he has so much time for others and doesn’t have time to listen to me. I would also keep in mind that depression and anxiety play out this way for a lot of people.

1 Like
91

Guess your should have picked better stock to breed with.

92

He must have a mistress. My ex used to pull that “work” excuse all the time. He never had the extra money from the side jobs to prove his late outings

5 Likes
93

Oh shut up. How about you get a job so he doesn’t have to work as much? All I heard in your post was you’re a whiney selfish brat. You want, you want, you want.
He’s out there busting his ass making money to provide for his family and yet thats not good enough for you.

16 Likes
94

Single income house ?
How many children?
For some men work is their mistress.
Do you have date night?
Is it 7 days a week?

2 Likes
95

Ugh not married but have a 2 month old and feeling this exact same way. :pleading_face::sob:

3 Likes
96

My dad was this way.
Spent all my life working his ass off always worried about his next paycheck and I never got to see him when in reality i just wanted my dad.
Explain hes hurting the kids more than helping

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Debbie Mcivor I agree with Debbie that man is given to someone else what he should be given to his wife love and attention Debbie you’re too much of a lady but I’ll tell you what he’s doing. That man is f****** around if he don’t want to straighten out kick him out try talking to him first good luck stay safe and healthy

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My husband leaves at 4:30 most mornings, works that job until after 3:00 then does his side jobs until dark runs him in. He works construction so he works a hard job so when he does get home all he wants to do is eat and go to bed. BUT his kids have all they want and then some. I have a wonderful life where all I have to do is be a mom. When he does have time it is spent with me and the kids. I would bet he starts just doing his 8 hours and coming home you would be whining cause he isn’t making enough money. Just be grateful and stop complaining. Make the best of when he is there and stop complaining!

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I can see that you’re frustrated. But please don’t say you feel like a single mom unless you are one. We have to be the bread winners and caretakers for our kids. If you don’t like it, speak to him. Make changes. Be thankful you have a partner to talk to. Are you more miserable than being alone? You might want to think about how exhausting and lonely it would be if you actually have to be a single mom one day.

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You don’t mention if you work or if there are financial problems that he is trying to work through. I’m sorry but there is just too little info to offer any advice. But you go ahead and look for strangers to make you feel like you’re right and validated online instead of actually dealing with your relationship issues through real communication. If he feels he has to work so much, offer to get a job too. Get counselling. Do something positive other than trash your man online.

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