First it is not your fault its his own self destruction. … Leave ASAP. Im 21 years. Left 1/1st… It didn’t happen over night so it won’t be fixed overnight. Im home on the weekend’s only! And don’t answer his calls.He wants his crank an eat it to. Remember it’s not your fault. Go…
Leave. You will start feeling so much better. My soon to be ex hubby is exactly like that abusive too. He quit drinking then started again. And I was with him before we had our daughter. And I decided that our daughter doesnt need to see exactly how cruel he is when he is drunk. I feel soo happy. I suggest you look for counseling for yourself at women’s shelter for abused women and they will help you a lot. Put your children in too.
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Marriage is a commitment if you still love him suggest counseling for both of you to go to. See if you can find a resolution. If after trying things don’t change or go back to the way they were then you have to do what is best for you and your kids.
It took me 15 years to find the courage to finally leave. We also had two kids together. They were 10 & 8 at the time and they weren’t even upset that we would no longer be living in the same house as their Dad. They were old enough to see what was going on. I’ve been on my own with them for three years now and we’ve never been happier. I know it’s scary but believe me it’s worth it. I hope you find the strength to do what you know needs to be done 
I understand where you are coming from, but now is the time to really think about your children. He is mentally abusing your children and yourself. So if you truly love your children and yourself you would leave, go to some type of counseling even meetings for families of alcoholics. Because in the long run your children can end up just like their dad. Its time to stop this cycle
I spent 22 years with a man who drank too much and put his friends and family above me and my kids. Finally left…best thing I could have done. When you lose respect and have resentment there is nothing left to hold onto. I still lovef him but believe me…it passed. He never changed…I left 21 years ago.
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Get to an Al-Anon meeting. It’s geared for loved ones, and family member’s. It’s free and it will help guide you though this process. Hugs xxx I’ve been in Al-Anon for 29 years, and I have learned to take care of myself. ⚘
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You should find an attend Al-Anon meetings. They will support you while you get stronger to make the right decision. Helped me when dealing with a difficult family member
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When the pain outweighs the fear, you will take action. Find an Al-Anon meeting. Al-Anon saved my life by showing me I can’t fix or save anyone but myself. Good luck and keep coming back.
You deserve better than this, no matter what the age. Pull yourself together, first. What would you tell your daughter if she was in your shoes?! I would give him an ultimatium- get help or get out.
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Pack the kids and go. If he doesn’t see y’all leaving as a warning and get himself help, nothing will work.
Sometimes you have to love people from a distance .You have been verbally a n d mentality abused for 20 years.Break free go to meetings and heal yourself for yourself.
Take your energies away from this man. Your children are watching and thinking this is the norm. Break the pattern . Say no more. One of your children may take strength from this and walk away from a bad situation twenty years earlier than you did.
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Get a good lawyer and leave him. He has ruined your children’s childhood and maybe lives and you just don’t know it yet. I would not have one good thing to say about him.
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Have a thought for where you want to be as you both get older and need to be dependant on each other. Ugh. Your story is my story but hubby is 78 and i am 62 and i am burnt out from caring for him
See if you can find married and alone and helping her heal by dr. Doug Weiss hopefully those can give you some answers and help you find peace
You know you answers. Your tired of being married to him. Get your shit together so you can live on your own and divorce him. Maybe he will change after that and you’ll wanna take a chance again. Just go, struggle, protect your kids from this, and move on. And don’t except shit from a drunk. You’re gonna have to do this in you mean own. Just know you can’t help an addict. You can remove yourself from the situation. Make him feel his loss or his relief of responsibilities to get better. If you care at all you leave. If you care about your kids at all you leave. If you love yourself at all you leave.
If u have a daughter the last thing u want is her thinking this is a normal marriage and that it’s ok for a man to treat women this way. Even having a son you dont want him thinking this is okay to treat his wife and kids like this. Your strong girl, dig down and put your foot on the ground. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Been through the same routine.i ended up leaving couldn’t take it any more.the Bottle is not your friend destroy slowly.
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They also use the 12 step program. Same as AA
I say for help for you would be good for you to listen to Dr. Doug weiss his partner betrayal series it deals a lot with abuse from a narcissisthe deals with sex addiction but also applies to a narcissist helps you make and protects your boundaries to keep yourself safe from emotional damage also bloom had lots of free and good info
Leave his ass. Your losing your life being with him. Be smart and leave
Al anon x be strong it is not easy right now but one step forward
Devorce, would be nice but you didnt get education to go your own. Me, i left him, i got my two kids.
Pray for him the devil is distroying you’re family keep praying that his soul will be saved don’t let the devil tàke you’re husband
Your story is the same as mine was only we were married for 21 years. Both my kids wanted me to divorce him years before I did. I kept thinking it would get better but it didn’t.
I had loved him since we were teenagers and I wanted to be married.
He knew he had a drinking problem but did nothing to stop. No matter how I tried to get him to. It came down to me telling him to choose between me and the alcohol, well he chose alcohol.
The pain of loss I felt when he was not in my life was awful. You see I was still in love with him when we divorced. Sometimes we have to make decisions that hurt like that in order to save ourselves. I’m not telling you to divorce him, I’m saying do what is best for you. Good luck and strong strong.
I have a group chat with my three adult kids. Two are married and one is in a relationship we don’t agree with. I asked them to all respond to this because it is extremely close to what my marriage was. I chose to stay and pray…I gave it ALL TO GOD. We just celebrated 25 years of marriage this past October. But I want to share with y’all my oldest son’s response as the child that went through more than he should have…he is now 24, a Marine, married almost 5 years, and has a beautiful 2 year old daughter.
Marriage needs teamwork, but it’s not always there. Without teamwork, the survival of the marriage relys on one of the individuals: the “caring individual”. How much abuse, neglect, pain, stress, etc. can be taken before they give in and decide to leave/divorce?
But divorce should never be an option. With everything mama and daddy went through and they still stayed together is what formed my view of Love/marriage. I saw from a young age that marriage has flaws but can still be successful. Even with the life threatening stunts daddy pulled on mama and his children, yes I’d be upset afterwards, but he’s still my father and I’ll always love and respect him. I believe if he’d left due to divorce or separation I would think less of him.
And I say never divorce because of what my vows meant to me… Even though I don’t remember them all. I took an oath before God. Marriage is one of the very few reasons anyone takes an oath before God, so it should never be done unless absolutely certain. I can’t imagine going back on your promise you made to The Creator. I told Shelby from the beginning we will never, no matter what, divorce.
In situations of abuse, neglect, pain, stress, etc. you are still under oath. Take care of yourself and your marriage ANY WAY you can. You might not be in a “typical marriage” but you will always be married.
Smh. I know he loves us? Are you seriously that naive to think he does? You don’t treat ppl like shit if you love them. A jackass piece of shit like him will never change. Like they say. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. No matter how much counseling and AA meetings he attends. It’s not gonna do any good. An asshat like him will NEVER CHANGE… Get outta that situation while you’re still alive. Sounds like he’s about 1 ass hair away from strangling you.