Can you post this anonymously, thank you. My son is 15 months old, and we recently found out I am pregnant. This will be my mom’s fourth grandchild and my husband’s mom’s seventh grandchild. My mother has been in my sons life and sees him pretty much every day and helps with whatever we need, my husbands mom doesn’t really care about our firstborn, when we went to visit her my son was three months old at the time when she met him, and she completely rejected him and didn’t want to hold or do anything with him, but ask for money(no we didn’t give it to her) after that we left. We stop talking to her then when he turn 11 months we saw her again and she still acted the same towards him, but he loves and plays with her other grandchildren, so my question is what should we do? My husband doesn’t care if we keep seeing her or not, I just don’t want my kids growing up feeling like she doesn’t care for them.
He has your mom as grandma. Don’t keep going around her because soon your child will see/feel that energy.
If he doesn’t care to see her then you shouldn’t either 
you need people that will love your kids . Not people that won’t . Fam or not fam … you got your mom that’s all that matters . 
That’s her loss. If your husband is fine not seeing her than let it be. Yours kids will be ok without her. 
All that matters is you as parents love your children. Sometimes it’s better not dealing with family that are like that.
Stop bringing your child around her. If your husband doesn’t care. Let her go. No need for him to be rejected over and over.
If she can’t act like a grandma then she doesn’t need to be one. The kids will eventually feel her energy and see she favors one over the other. Your kids don’t need that nonsense, cut ties now.
I’d let her be. I would never beg anyone, to be in my Children’s lives!
Dont force your child on ANYONE. Thats mistake #1. If she comes around once a year cool let her… the kids will eventually see who was there and who wasnt.
I mean if your husband doesn’t care if he sees his mom again why is this even a question?
I could understand if your husband cared, but It seems like he done. Just make sure that they see there cousins and other family members. Some kids don’t have it at all
My boyfriend’s mother lives 5 minutes away, if that. Doesn’t ask us about our son, doesn’t come see our son. The only time she sees our child is if we are riding with her somewhere or if shes dragging in stuff we dont need. She’ll say she’ll babysit and never comes through, usually some off the wall excuse. Last time she said its because she thinks she has MS. She doesn’t.
Let your husbands mom do whatever. Your kids have your mom as grandma. I wouldnt even sweat it. Its her loss.
It doesn’t seem like she does care, which is probably what your child will think. It seems to be what your husband thinks already. I would just leave it alone.
Nothing you can do to change her. Your husband obviously isn’t close with his mother. He doesn’t care that she’s not involved. You shouldn’t either. Your child won’t feel rejected by someone they don’t even really know.
So invite the other grand kids to visit you guys she dosent have to be part of it and everyone is happy
People love in different ways it’s true my parents are super hands on with my kids but are kinda hi and bye with my oldest sister kids it’s not that they don’t love them the same it’s just my kids are always around them and they are more comfortable with them. Then my husbands parents are far away and they love are kids but obviously the distance keeps them from showing that love. I think you should talk to her and bring the kids more around her maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable
I’d stay away. You don’t want your son to feel that kind of negativity. What a crappy grandma
As a grandma I don’t understand that, I love all my grandchildren the same. But I’ve been treated that way as a child by a family members, you feel the energy. I would avoid the baby will eventually get older and pick up on it. No kid deserves to not feel good enough to a grandma. She obviously has issues.
If she doesnt care I wouldnt bring him.around her. However has your husband ever asked her why?
Don’t force anyone to be in your child’s life. He will be ok. Just always remind him how much he is loved. Toxic is toxic and it sounds like she needs to be cut off
Eh, they are better off without her.
You can force her to accept him or to be in his life just stop taking him over it’s her lost
It’s a shame.But it happens a lot. Just love your children. 
Don’t reach out first. Your child isn’t missing out. She is
You can’t miss a stranger
Don’t force a relationship. Let it be what it is when it is. Your kids will acknowledge where they stand with her on their own.
Seems like she’s a horrible woman. I’d only see her at family events that she happened to be at. Dont go out of your way to spend time with her.
Save urself from the headache an stay away… Dont put ur child threw that shit !
Move on. You dont need her. Your kids have other people that love them. Dont beg for someone’s love. Her loss not yours
They know the truth. If your husband doesn’t care to be around her… maybe she treated him the same way!! I always knew my Gma didn’t like me… never knew why…but had to be around her cuz I was a child… forget her…
Considering that your husband doesn’t seem to mind not having her in your lives, what is her relationship with him? That more than anything is probably what is driving her behavior towards the kids. To her they are an extension of him. I wouldn’t force any relationship.
My mother in law hasn’t seen my daughter since she was 3 months old and ever at three months old she had only seen her twice. My daughter is almost 2 now and she isn’t missing out, my mother in law is. My daughter has 3 amazing grandparents that love her and spend every second possible with her (she’s the first grandchild on both sides). Don’t try to force a relationship between them if she doesn’t care to have one. Your child will be better off in the long run surrounded by people who love him and want to be around him❤️
Then stay away from her the baby will pick up on her feelings
You cant force someone to like them. Just let her be.
Before keeping you child alway talk to her first see what she says maybe since your child isn’t around that much I think it is way different from children who visit her constantly then a child who she only seen twice also how you act towards her about her being around your child I know someone who’s mother in law said she wasn’t as affectionate with her kids because she get mad at any little stuff or makes faces when she tries and she isn’t as comfortable with that child because of the mom
My mom has a disinterest in all of my children I don’t force her to be around them. They don’t care for her much either as they don’t understand why she always talks down about me or their father who I am no longer with. I feel so bad for them sometimes as they don’t have a grandma they can love the way they wish but I did promise them I’d be the grandma for their kids and I’ll be the mom that they need not like my mom. It’s called breaking the cycle
Honestly I’ve gone through this with my own grandmother. My parents never forced me to see her and I’m so thankful for that! She was and still is beyond hateful to me and now I’d becoming that way toward my child! I’m pregnant as well and I know it will be the same for my new baby as well! Honestly I see her once a year on Christmas and that’s it. I hate that it has to be this way but my other grandmother is amazing and makes up for it! Your children have your mother and as long as your husband isn’t upset about it I would stay away!
I wouldn’t force it. If she doesn’t want anything to do with him then it’s no reason for her to be apart of his life.
Don’t try and force a relationship that isn’t going to be healthy. Your kids will know they are loved by those that make an effort.
Trust me when I say this, that “grandma” is completely missing out, your daughter has your mom and doesn’t need anyone else. Your husband clearly knows how she is that’s what he doesn’t care! Appreciate your mom and move on.
I think forcing them to be around someone who clearly doesn’t want to be around them is worse
It’s her choice, her loss. Your children will be fine without her. As they get older, have age appropriate discussions about how people carry past hurt and trauma and how it can affect relationships with others. This will help them understand that her indifference is about her, not them. And they can remain secure in their worthiness because they have parents who live and adore and value them.
Yep, My son’s only living grandparents have seen him maybe 6 or 7 times in the last 3 yrs, But will drive 2 hrs to pick up his 2 cousins. They don’t miss attachments never formed, My son NEVER ask about them, I wouldn’t spend to much energy on it, Dad isnt concerned no reason for you to be.
Children know and it is hard on them and yourself. My mother favors my 3 sons and not my daughter but my in laws favor my daughter and not my sons. They all say they don’t but we see it and so do the boys. I’ve said something to them a thousand times and it doesn’t change a thing. This is something you will have to decide to do.
Honey it sounds like she doesn’t care for him. That is HER loss.
My mother has 14 & treats them all the same . Does she act that way with her other grand kids?
She sounds toxic. Keep them babies away from her. Your husband can visit alone
Honey, kids won’t miss someone that doesn’t care about them. Believe me. I’ve been there. All he needs is to be reminded that he has plenty of people in his corner that love and care for him.
My mother is pos. Always was. She only sees my kids supervised. My mother in law wouod visit the other grandkids but never stop here. So I told her step up or step the fuck out. She stepped up for awhile. Then her son needed to remind her. Shes gotten better about it.
They won’t even know she’s there if you stop putting your family through the visits don’t do that to your children
Cut out toxic people 
Doesnt sound like she loves or even cares about her own son much less her sons family (you and the baby)
I mean, he doesn’t care about even seeing her. That says something all by itself.
Drop her like a hot potato.
She will either step up or not, her choice. You cant force it honey. much luck
If she doesn’t care, and your husband doesn’t care… why should you?!
You’re stressing over something no one else cares about.
If I had to guess why she is like this with your child and not her other grandchildren, I’d say she might not care much for either her son… or for you.
Do not involve her for he will feel her rejection
I’ve noticed that when it’s the moms daughter, she had more to do with the grandkids than if it’s her sons kids. Like maybe they don’t feel as close to the kids. My dads mom didn’t give two shits about us but couldn’t do enough for her daughters son who ended up being a drug addict and in jail all the time. She even hid him out! My mother in law was not a good mother to any of her kids but she tries with the grandkids. She does way more for her daughters kids than ours. She will go a month and not see our kids even though she’s 10 min away. But sees her daughters kids every other day. My husband is like yours, he don’t care if she comes around or not. They have never had a good relationship until he and I got married and had kids. But I don’t want to keep the kids from her because they do love her and like her around. As long as she’s not mean or openly different to them I’m ok with her being around. But if it gets to where the ,kids notice, like we did with my dads mom, then she can stay away.
Stop teaching out to her. If she wants to see her grandkids & son she will make the effort. It’s not your responsibility to make her interested in your children.
It’s not your babies responsibility to build relationships with the people that are supposed to love and care for him so if Grandma doesn’t make the effort she is missing out.
Eh, if she doesn’t care, she won’t care if you stop visiting either. Cut her out of their life if she wants to act that way. Protect your children from toxicity.
If she doesn’t want to be in their lives then don’t force your kids to be around her. If she doesn’t want to know them then it’s only going to hurt them if you force them to be around someone who doesn’t care about them.
Why are you going to even consider forcing your kids to have a relationship with a bitch that doesn’t give two fucks about them… Fuck all that…she can stay away cause children know and can feel when they’re not loved or wanted.
My ex MIL loved our son, but when we had our daughter she didn’t care what so ever. She treated her like crap. After a while we moved out of state and she disowned us. I couldn’t care less. She was an awful hateful person and I doubt she went to heaven when she died.
You cant force people to want to be involved. Also, its not a measuring contest of who cares more. Im sure you are comparing as a frame of reference but it really shouldn’t even be relevant. Your kids will eventually be able to tell and understand that it is her decision. Don’t put her failures on yourself. Life the best life you can without her influence and she will be the one missing out. The kids obviously don’t need that kind of influence. You don’t need the stress of somebody in your business all the time or trying to force her into something she doesnt want.
If you don’t want your kids to grow up feeling like she doesn’t care for them then stop seeing her. It’s obvious that y’all aren’t giving her money so she wants nothing to do with you or the baby. Sounds like pure hatred. She must not love her son enough to love his children.
I cut my bio mom out over favoritism 🤷🙅
If this is how she acts towards him, with him there. Then he’s going to grow up feeling unloved by her regardless if she’s in his life or not. If I were you, I would stop all contact, stop trying to force the relationship. As sad and heartbreaking as it is, she obviously doesn’t want to have one with him, so don’t force it. He will be better off, and she’ll be the one missing out! He has your mother who loves him dearly, and really that’s all he needs❤️ best of luck to you momma. Hope you find some middle ground and peace!
As a grandmother myself nothing can keep me away from my grandchildren! Unfortunately my children did not have great grandparents and they do not have a relationship with them. I tried to help build it but when I saw my children struggling with it I stopped it. Your child needs to see you treating her with respect, but don’t put your child’s well being over someone who doesn’t care.
As a grandchild of a grandmother that didn’t care, let her be. My grandmother has been gone since 2013, and I still have issues of forgiveness with her.
Let her go, I had a mother in law back in the 70s that was like that and my Son is her only grandchild. My Son is 42 now, I saw her a few years ago she hadn’t seen him since he was 1 she didn’t even ask me about him. Life goes on and it is a far better place without them. We had my Mom and Dad and they were very close to him and all of the grandchildren. You Don’t need her 
My son hasn’t lost any sleep over her.
She’s the adult not your kids. If she doesn’t put any interest in being part of their lives then you shouldn’t force the relationship. I have the same thing going on and we’re fine. They have plenty of love from their other grandma and family and us.
I agree with communicate. She is prb upset with you or your husband and taking it out on your kids. Maybe talk to your husband’s siblings and see what their take is on it. Do they give her money?.
It’s not your problem. Let her be. keep living your life
You can’t force someone to be in their life. It’s her loss. They won’t miss who wasn’t there .
Quit seeing her apparently she DOESNT care… her loss
Don’t have nothing to do with her and when the kids get a little older tell them the truth.
Communicate Talk to her
They won’t miss who wasn’t around. I personally would not continuously subject him to the rejection
Leave the old hag Alone