My in laws are pressuring us to start a family: Advice?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My in laws are pressuring us to start a family: Advice?

Just say your not ready!

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In a very nice way figure out how to tell them that frankly it is none of their business. You will have children when you’re ready.

You have to raise them. They should be thankful you are trying to wait until your established well first. I personally feel like a lot of people have children to young. I was 20 days shy of my 28th birthday and my husband was 34. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your head on straight before having kids. They should be proud of you both for trying to secure your future for your children

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Tell them it’s a very personal subject.

Tell them that it isn’t their business. Of they continue, tell them in a way that it cannot be misunderstood to not bring it up again, be blunt tell, them exactly how you are feeling. I deal with this all the time, both about children and marriage, and it is so maddening.

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It’s ok to wait, just say you are not ready yet. I was 28 when I had my first, 31 when I had his brother.

This is the perfect opportunity to start setting boundaries NOW. It gets worse once you have kids.

Only you two know what’s best for yourselves. Give the situation a fair and honest look between yourselves and no one else and make a decision and stick with it. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

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it’s your life you really don’t owe anybody an explanation ever :woman_shrugging:t3::heart:

Tell your husband to tell them that everytime they ask, yall are gonna push back the timeline for kids 6 months :sweat_smile:

Just say you are trying…and it will happen when it happens💕

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Tell them when you’re ready ,you’ll make sure they’re the first to know. Until then… there’s no sense in asking

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I would just say we just bought a home…need to make sure we are stable in finances…
Love kids but they are expensive

My exs family used to always pressure me to have children too and then when I had my first it was when will you have another. My line used to always be we aren’t having kids so they would leave me alone. They didn’t need to know when or how many I would be having it was none of their business.

Its nobody’s business however to get them to stop, you’re going to have to be honest and just say 5 years is when you’ll try for kids. Dont say 3-5 then theyll start it up again at 3 years. That or shock the sh*t outta them and say you’ve chosen to not have kids. Lol. That may shut em up real quick. You have to be up front though. Tell them it’s stressful being constantly asked about it when you have a plan. He needs to tell his dad he is happily content on being a 35 year old father as well & to leave it alone.

No matter what you say they are still going to ask my boyfriend’s parents keep asking along with friends, and we went over our plan we would start trying when I’m 30 and goal is have a baby by 31. But occasionally they still ask we just laugh and tell them to wait 2 years, after many of those talks it comes up less frequent I’m pretty sure it’s because they know the timeline now

Wow. It’s not their life, and so not their business. As for the old man comment, my husband was 34 when we had our first. I was 29. Plenty of people are waiting until financially stable to have kids, not sure why that’s hard for people to understand. They aren’t the ones carrying, delivering, or paying for the baby so they need to take a large step back!

Tell them you 2 are already trying. That should shut them up. And just make them wait

Your fiancé needs to sack up to his parents and tel them it’s not their business nor place to bring it up. And every time they do insist they get their “ serious memory problem checked by the doctor”. But really I’d just stop seeing them as much.

It’s none of their business. Tell them when you all are ready you will and end it there. Repeat that until they quit and if they don’t then make it clear it’s none of their business in a nice way.

just say you are working on it that buys a little more time

Maybe the father has a terminal disease and is afraid that he doesn’t have much time to live and that he might never get to see his grand children

Just tell them you have things you would like to achieve and your not in a rush to have kids yet. Leave it at that.

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Your fiance? They are pressuring you before you have even taken step 1? I would have to politely inform them that it’s none of their business.

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They are probably just really excited and can’t wait. They obviously really like you being with their son and love the idea of having grand babies by you guys. Just simply tell them you will have kids one day but you are not ready maybe within the next 3-5 years and leave it at that. No need to be upset or angry with them just tell them straight up how it is and you don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation. Tell them you realize they are excited but you guys are not ready and you feel pressured by their comments to just have patience it will happen soon enough. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Don’t explain. Just set the expectations that asking isn’t ok for you. Next time they say anything respond with those comments really make me feel uncomfortable. When we are ready we will be over joyed to share that with you but until then please stop asking. They can say what they want after. You have nicely asked not to be harassed about something private.

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Tell them when it’s their lives and their choices being affected then they can have a say but when it isn’t keep their noses out and you’ll be ready when you’re ready

When the time is right you will have children

You don’t need to justify anything. Life is too short to people please. They can accept it or not. You are not responsible for others’ expectations of your life. Keep it simple and honest.

I feel you have when you want an owe no one an explanation. Besides the world is a mess right now. Let GOD have control over it do what’s best in your heart an pray about it

You don’t need to explain yourself to nobody other than your fiancé… At the end of the day you and your fiance will raise the kids, nobody else. So you know your own time. When they pressure just say you are in the “planning phase”. My sister had that situation of pressure from both sides of family and friends for ten years and she felt ready at 35years old when everything else was sorted out in her life and after they decided to finish travelling the world. She just had her baby and it’s all good with everyone, but I said previously: only you and your fiancée will raise your own kids therefore you guys knows best when is the right time and don’t need to justify yourselves to anyone…

Sounds like you have to start taking out your nails. Meaning, ok, be nice but dont let them push or force you. Find a nice calm way to say you have time and right now is too early and please stop the subject. I am getting upset.
And if you are not anle to have kids naturally, even worse, def talk to fiance, you 2 have an agreement. If he doesnt say anything to his family, you have to. Good luck.