I need advice on in-laws. My in-laws are amazing people, but when it comes to their grandson, they will do whatever he wants regardless of what my husband and I think of it. My father-in-law will say out loud as he does something. “I know mom said no, but I don’t care.” It’s always said as a joke, but my son is 18 months old, and I don’t want that to become the standard. Overall it’s not a big issue, but right now, my son is going through a phase where he is throwing food at meals, throwing fits because he thinks it’ll get him what he wants, etc. and my father-in-law just feeds into it. If my son throws something on the floor and my husband and I are telling him no, my father-in-law is laughing and throwing stuff too. I’m at a loss. I know he doesn’t mean harm by it, but it’s not helping, and my son thinks it’s funny. We see them minimum every Saturday for the afternoon/evening, and the behavior is something my son is bringing home with him.
Sit down and calmly discuss boundaries, let him know that you are his parents, and he can’t be going against your wishes. Its disrespectful towards both of you, and will teach your son that he doesn’t need to listen to what you say.
That’s grandparents. Get used to it. Try having a ex wife that does same shit. Kids are nightmares when they come home from her weekend. Just gotta be the better person and muddle thru it.
Have a long talk with them and tell them both until they can respect you two as parents the visits will come to a stop. I know that sounds harsh but y’all are his parents and make the decisions on how he is raised. Do not let anyone undermine you on that ever.
Absolutely do not allow that. They are teaching him it’s okay to disrespect you and not follow your rules.
Honestly I’d give them an ultimatum considering they are encouraging bad behavior - so itd be either they show the proper way and don’t encourage or you’ll start cutting back time around them
Do not allow him to say that. When mom and dad say No, that’s what it means. In-laws shouldnt override what you guys say. It will eventually instill in the child he can do whatever he wants. I am going thru this same exact thing. Put your foot down before their 7 years old & expect them to do whatever they want
Just tell them that he is your child and that they have to respect your rules
Your kid your rules. They had their turn to be parents and now it’s time for them to get in the backseat and shutup.
They can abide by it or I’m sure stopping all visits will get them in line real quick. Essentially you have to treat them like children given they are acting like children
They’re grandparents. It’s their job to give your children what you wont… WITHIN REASON. I suggest talking to them and letting them know that your final word is law. And that you dont mind them spoiling, but within restriction. Listen. I’m a grandparent. We just like the parent want only the best. And its extremely hard not to spoil. And I can admit, I do only out of love. It’s not their job to raise or disciple or say no. That’s your job. Get it. I’m sure having and open conversation and compromising on some things will work.
“Stop it or we wont come back” easy peasy!..I mean, feel free to word it differently, but the message still stands!
It’s once a week when it starts getting out of hand while there make some excuse to leave. Been there. Better than causing family problems.
The next time it occurs, get up from the table grab your son and walk out both you and your husband tell him this Behavior will not be tolerated and you also tell your father-in-law your behavior will not be tolerated either!
Um nip that shit now or it will be more of a issue I know 1st hand and because as his mom I was ignored when I told my son something and his papaw that it a good idea to go against me he doesn’t see my son very much now per me as not letting him
Let your in-laws see that your child gets punished for this behavior and if your father in law is feeding into it, they are making it worse for your son. I’m not saying take it out on your son, but let the in-laws know that, just because they think it’s funny, your son will still be corrected and they are making it a bigger problem.
Tell him he either listens and respects what you say to your son or you no longer turn up with him.
Nope! When my mother in law tried this I took what was given to my child and I said calmly, I told you no and grandma doesn’t get to decide otherwise. Grandma didn’t try that again, but she hates me and we haven’t spoken in 5 years.
Have a family meeting
He’s just a baby. And they’re being grandparents. That’s what we do. Like ice cream for breakfast, anything that makes them happy. When baby is old enough he’ll realize there’s another set of rules for grandparents. They get to be the fun ones. I sure wish my mother or inlaws were still here to spoil mine.
Sounds like they are trying to be the fun grandparent to me just ask them to calm it down a little or take the opportunity for you and your husband to leave and spend time with each other. Kids usually have 2 sets of grandparents. The ones that can’t afford to buy things are usually the fun ones whereas the ones that can afford things are not.
Move out, you chose to have a kid your living in there home so they can do as they please
If you want to be a full time mum go out and do it on your own there is always options.
Visit at the in laws house, let baby throw food, join in !
Maybe grampa needs a pamper n a bib too… Circle of life 
Grandparents do what they please. They raised their kids. Now it’s time to spoil grand kids. Researchers say it helps them live longer. If its once a week you’ve got 6 days to work it out. There are plenty of people who wish they had grandparents so stop complaining 
Let them know if they want him to through food on the floor let him to go their house and through food in their floor.
It would be time to cut off people who can’t follow rules 
Let them know it isnt okay to say that. Any remarks i would get my son and leave. My in laws gave me problems as well. I even got the “i have been a parent longer then you have been.” Like no i flat out told them if they dont want to respect what i have to say as a parent, they dont need to be in my kids life as a grandparent.
I would take your child to time out and when you explain why. I told my daughter no dessert, her grandparents gave her dessert. I took the dessert away and put her in timeout for taking a bite. Grandparents were upset especially when I mentioned “sorry x gave you this, mommy said you couldnt have it though, and you have to listen to mommy”. They felt really bad she was in trouble because of their actions. You don’t overrule me with my child.
The throwing food is over the line though. I would be PISSED. I clean up all the time after my child without them being encouraged to throw food on the floors and walls.
I would talk to them about it ASAP. Thats how my soon to be in laws are with my stepdaughter. And it really bothers me. I finally talked to them about it and it seemed to help. They would give them candy in the mornings when they stayed there even though I said they need to eat a real breakfast. Just try talking to them!!
Grandpa can stop or visits stop. Real simple! If it does not stop now, you are really going to have your hands full!
Tell them to stop it?
I have 7 grandkids 
if the parents say no then its NO !!! I will not disrespect them at all when it comes to them raising my grandkids 
I ask.people to not laugh when im yelling and make it clear to my kids no ones laughing at them
Your child your rules. Don’t matter if it’s his house.
Let them be grandparents, u can’t control that relationship, pick and choose your battles.
If u alienate his grandparents just because they want to spoil the baby love the baby differently than you love the baby they don’t have to be strict their grandparents, you’re an awful mother
They are making their lives easier and making yours harder!!! You need to parent these folks and tell them, what not to do
If they know how u feel about issues and they continue to ignore it and do what they want, I would limit time with them…
Speak to them and communicate how this is affecting what u & your husband wants him to learn and not learn & if it continues halt or spread out those visits
Tell them it stops and they get on board with your parenting or visits stop until they do period. I dont play that shit let’s not create a monster your left raising and trying to redirect when they die.
Time to step up to the plate and let them know that this is not acceptable. I would also limit the visits more than you do now. That is imo. Your child,your call
Didn’t read till end, I’m one of in laws love my grandkids and when are with me there is not a single “no” to their wishes. Raised my kids without restrictions(they are responsible adults now).
I only spend few hours /week with them, so I’ll do my best to see them happy.
And must add that I’m a lucky one, as don’t have problems with in laws 
Family dinnertime conversation: I know you love him, but you are harming him needlessly. It’s our job as parents to civilize him to be a happy member of society. Let’s find other ways you can have fun with him w/o having it centered on bad behavior.
Well I’m not sure if it will work for you…but my solution to a similar situation…My mother had a whole " my house my rules" when we visited…so I adopted a “your rules your problem” attitude…Didn’t take long before we renegotiated…lol
Time to step up and let then know you are the parents we teach our kids to be dicispline in early age dont let than happen growing up,our job is to teach you kids to be good in society,and not on bad behavior
It’s one thing to spoil with toys and treats, late bedtime etc. But bad behavior isn’t acceptable.
I’d try to broach it gently with them, explain he’s learning habits that wouldn’t be acceptable in public places or daycares etc
Grandparents need to respect your authority with your children! Absolutely! Because if they don’t have your backs your kids will play them and you guys against each other to get what they want. You and your husband need to address the situation together in a nice way. Good luck! I know it’s frustrating.
I’m a grandparent let me say that first. Your child your rules.
Excuse me mama? Get your ass in control or suck it up… Some bullshit
I actually had this problem. Both sets of grands were guilty. I was raised to RESPECT my elders but I also believe that as a parent you set the rules. The first hurdle is presenting a UNITED front as parents to the grandparents. You need to have both sets of grandparents present if possible That way everyone is on equal footing as you discuss the issues you have with their behavior. Do not attack them as they are not being difficult out of malice. If the issues continue you can limit the time they spend with your children! It will be a bitter pill for all until everyone can get on board with your rules. Good luck and God bless!!
Don’t take your kid over there and tell them why
As a parent and a grandparent. 10 kids 1 granddaughter and 20 (really been doing this since I was 11! So a good 30 years of helping raise kids.) Y’all are absurd that Saturday afternoon isn’t changing your childs whole demeanor this happens. That baby that loved peas as a toddler developing buds may throw them in your face. They may bang their head into a wall if they dont want to wear clothes. They make not want a bath and bang their head on the tub wailing out of control. Children toddlers are learning what they like what they DONT. Quit forcing the kid to take what you want if they don’t want it. They’re telling you it’s not what they want. If you didn’t want cabbage per say let me force it down your throat. It’s not the. Grandparent that’s the problem. Listen to your kids ques. He doesn’t want the peas.
18 months can be told No swat hand tell no that’s not good? After 3 attempts at correcting r hand swat I picked my Son up in front of grandparents wacked his butt diaper n sat back down saying once again No, I’m not abusive not done mean but my son got taught n re enforce behavior ways his dad n me wanted NOT GRANDPARENTS ways, oh they said don’t spank him we said WE GOT TO LIVE WITH HIM N RAISE THANK YOU!!
If they cannot respect YOUR wishes regarding YOUR son, then maybe they need to stop seeing YOUR son until they are on the same page as YOU.
Omg.Grandparents rule…unless unsafe.kids grow fast.So do your parents age.
if your child is doing this all day every day and only seeing grandpa for a few hours on saturdays… i think its safe to say its not grandpa being the problem.
Gparents are HELPERS
They need to respect you as a parent or you’re son won’t. If they don’t stop leave or ask them to leave for not respecting your parenting. Explain you don’t want him to grow up thinking it’s okay to ignore you and get away with everything and they are feeding into it.
No no your his mama your have every right to voice your opinion of this u.dont want your son thinking that this is good behavior talk to them but if it doesn’t improve.limit your time with.them