I don’t understand why you would be trying to shame a 7 & 5 year old by telling them that what they are feeling about walking in on your husband being intimate is wrong?? Have you considered explaining intimacy to them. Or I don’t know locking the friggin door when you and the old man are getting busy. Instead of blaming those poor babies?? SMH!!
Talk to a child therapist. Then invest in a lock. Or at least a chair to shove under the knob. Also practice what you preach. Knock on doors before opening.
This is why god created locks on doors
This comment thread it’s so ridiculous like seriously stop acting like y’all never did it with kids at home, children are curious and alway after their parents it was a simple accident leave her alone.
Maybe some counseling
You explain grown ups do this. Mommy and daddies do this, Not children and they can not do these things.
Lord people are just down right mean on this site
I have never been “caught”
However what you got going on seems like it’s happened more than once.
Do t tell them what they are doing is wrong unless you admit what you done was wrong!
Get a book about marriage
And how siblings are different
And also call a counselor to help you explain to them
Lock your door!!!
Am I missing the post where she’s going into detail about what kids are doing or are a lot of you jumping to come wild conclusions…
I’m reading that they’re being inappropriate. That’s a broad statement. But what I’m not reading or seeing is a statement talking about abuse, incest, stealing innocence…she came asking advice and
To see if anyone else has experienced something similar, not to be bashed because she doesn’t only have intimate moments with her husband in the dark,
Under covers, behind locked doors when no one is there or must be sleeping
If that is your sex life with your husband, and your actUlly content or happy with that then good for you! But she’s not asking about what to do about that, i bet they’ve already addressed that part of it.
My 2.5 year old has started trying to kiss me how she sees mom and dad kiss, does that mean you’re not supposed to kiss in front of kids either?
If some of you are on here solely to bash and judge other parents for not being as “perfect” as you clearly believe you are, maybe you should keep scrolling past posts where moms seem stressed, worried, confused, defeated, scared and are being vulnerable by asking for advice or similar stories. People are so bad to pick out part of a post that bothers them the most and run with it instead of asking yourself what is she needing vs what you think you need to cram down her throat.
So whoever you
Are in this group momma,
I’m sorry this is happening. I’m sorry raising kids and everything that comes with it is so much harder than anyone ever told us it would be. I’m sorry you came for help but got attacked instead. I’m sorry people are putting more terrifying thoughts into your head than I’m sure you’ve come up with on your own.
Counseling is always the best place to start if you’re worried, they will know exactly how and where to direct your next steps.
Did you talk to them about it after getting caught or just ignore it? The way your post is worded it seems like you didn’t talk to them about what you did however are correcting what they are doing. But if you didn’t talk to them about mommy and daddy then I don’t think they understand why it’s wrong for them. If that makes sense.
It’s time to have that talk and discuss relationships and appropriate behavior.
They are at the age when they start learning about their bodies ALLL KIDS DO THIS!!! It just time to start explaining relationships and what is appropriate and what is not.
Talk to your kids. When me and my partner got caught, because I forgot to lock our door, I told my child that we were trying to make a baby. And that only grown-ups who love eachother do this. Not kids. Don’t make talking about sex so taboo be open with your kids of they have questions. Just don’t go into such great detail lol.
Here is the problem with coming online for advice. You will get advice. You will get their experiences and if you can’t handle it then you’re in the wrong place.
Personally I wouldn’t leave my young kids in another room so I can have alone time with my husband. That is saved for when they sleep. I suggest locking the door during. If you want them to come in if they wake at night unlock it after. They are very young (we waited until 9 for the talk) Sit down with them and explain that it’s for mommies and daddies. That it is not okay for brothers and sisters. At this age there isn’t much else to do other than watch them (not leave them while you be alone and to correct them everytime they try)
You need to beat them
Tell em about the Birds & the bees
Yikes. Maybe explain to them that it’s something grown ups do after they get married and definitely stress to them that you can not EVER do that with family members. Depends on how much they’ve seen, you might have to have “the talk” with them. Also maybe you should learn to lock the door when you’re being intimate, that’s something that effects kids for life.
oh man this is my biggest fear I swear
You wait till after the kids go too bed and u lock ur door it’s kinda common sense when u have kids
Wowww some of u are absolutely ridiculous… Like y’all never did it with your kid in the house… My son is 13 but since he’s been 5 I have always had a knock policy… He isn’t allowed in my room when me or my boyfriend are in there unless he knocks 1st… Our bedroom door knob doesn’t have a lock on it… Accidents happen… But I highly suggest everyone who has kids old enough to understand to have a knock policy… Since they already seen y’all doing it u definitely need to have a sit down w them n ur husband n explain intimacy to them on their level of comprehension… If they continue to act inappropriate maybe take them to counseling but kids are curious to begin with my son… Now 13… When he was 3 yo he would always be on his belly on the floor n we were visiting my sister n she asked me why he does that n i told her BC HES humping the floor… At 5 he asked me why does it feel good when I touch my privates I was caught off guard bc I come from a family of all girls so I simply said you don’t do that in public if u do it u go in the bathroom n need privacy… My sister was like u just told your 5 yo to whack off in the bathroom? N I said hes talking about touching it n yes ID rather him know to go in the bathroom 4 privacy then walk around rubbing himself?? Its human nature their curious… N no my son has NEVER been touched inappropriately…
Sooooooo the children don’t know about knocking the door before enter their parent’s room? You don’t lock your room before sex and wait when they go to sleep?
Some things are preventable. I won’t say whoop their ass because it’s not that serious BUT they should know their boundaries in the house.
You need to sit your kids down and explain everything. If you aren’t comfortable doing that then you need to get them to a therapist that is experienced in that department and ask for help. This is one of those things that can and will effect them their whole lives if they don’t get the proper follow up this these experiences. And they are old enough that this is something they will remember. Please please please don’t just let it go and think they will just “grow out of it” or anything like that. You have to talk about this. And ASAP.
LOCK YOUR DOOR!!! It’s so easy. Also, teach your children about not allowing others to touch them. Teach them about consent. If they only walked in on you one time, it seems extremely unlikely that they would be mimicking their parents. So—ask yourself what kind of example you and your partner are providing and DO BETTER. WTF.
7 is especially old enough for the talk
Why did both children walk in at the same time?
It happens. It’s just time to have a talk with them about the birds and the bees and explain to them that it’s for grown ups only. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about this. Accidents happen.
Sit them down and explain there are things that grown ups do that kids can’t. Id also recommend counseling, invest in a locking door knob, and set the expectation that your children aren’t allowed to enter your bedroom without knocking and mom/dad saying come in.
Do they watch youtube on your phone? Are they around anybody else that would possibly do such a thing to them? That kimd of behavior at such a young age you need to keep an eye on. Could be comin from outside the home and you not realize it.
Damn, a lot of you all really became parents without educating yourself. This is a normal stage for children. It does not mean you’ve done anything wrong or something has been done wrong to them. Shit happens. The same people talking shit now would be talking shit if your marriage ended over a lack of intimacy. Moms can’t win. The level of mom-shaming that happens on these pages is disgusting.
This may help. And I can assure you the American Academy of Pediatrics know more than these fine folks.
“Sexual Behaviors in Young Children: What’s Normal, What’s Not? - HealthyChildren.org” Sexual Behaviors in Young Children: What’s Normal, What’s Not? - HealthyChildren.org
I’m just REALLLLLLY thankful that this has not happened to my husband and I in the 15 years that we’ve had kids. And for the comment of whoever said it was normal for brothers and sisters to explore each other…Uhmmm, NO. It’s not.
Do not let them be alone together. Period.
I havent seen this suggestion, but maybe take them to therapy? Have a 3rd party explain that their behavior between one another is not appropriate…
Explain that it’s reserved for much later in life for making babies with people they marry
And this is why we always lock our door lol I get it happens but idk. For them to be acting out like this it’s had to have happened more than once I would feel.
Kick their butt…
They will know then what right or wrong
Kids gets curious and things like this happen. Even if you feel like they aren’t understanding keep reminding them without getting onto them that what they are doing is inappropriate and the reason you and dad do it is because that’s what married people do. Or even better teach them how to knock before entering any room no matter where they are… Because that’s what I do with my kids. One time is all it took of them trying to walk in and never and an issue since. Consistency is key
You still had sex after having two children? Wow
I’m I used to make my barbies have sex and I never walked in on my parents. It’s a natural thing like a lot of children start touching themselves young… They just don’t understand it’s wrong for a brother and sister they’re “playing” like kids to and acting things out that are familiar to them. You have to sit them down and be blunt with them and tell them that it’s not right and tell them what is right.
Your just gonna have to go in more depth with it if they didn’t get the hint when explained the first time you may have to explain it a little better for them to fully understand
It’s called lock your:clap:door
I lock the door and barricade that ish… even if it’s in the middle of the night
You should wait for your children to be sleeping before the adult time.
I would first off recommend locking your door during the deed if you knowing that your kids have walked in on you multiple times. In regards to their behavior you need to sit down and talk to them about it and explain to them that it’s not ok how they are being with each other. I know they are pretty young still, but with the situation you are in it’s time to have the talk with them about personal body space in regards to touching or seeing. I’ve always told my boys that their body is their personal private space and no one except for themselves should ever touch them in their private areas or see them naked. The only exception is when they have to to the doctor that requires something like that. A talk is so important and every time you seen them being inappropriate you have another talk. Like I said so LOCK YOU DOOR!
I never locked my door. Kids knocked if my door was closed.
You might not want to go into details but they need some info. Kids will copy what they see…its natural .
Sit them down for a chat next time you catch them.
Dont tell them is bad…tell them its something mommy and daddy do because they are adults who love each other. Its a special hug for adults only
Honestly…you are not the first to get caught out and the more fuss you make the worse it will be
People are so damn rude on here. I honestly don’t know what I’d do. Maybe get dad involved and explain things to them together. Be a united front and try to show them different ways they can play together. Not inappropriate ways that’s only adults do.
Accidents happen BUT, you said they BOTH walked in on y’all and so my question is… Was it the same time or was there MORE than one accident they they walked in on you but at separate times AND when a child walks in by mistake you IMMEDIATELY STOP AND COVER YOURSELF and AT THAT AGE I can’t see them knowing what to do from a LEGIT SECOND so I kinda feel like y’all are not being careful enough and/or were sexually active in front of them for tooo long thinking they won’t remember being little BUT THEY DO! Sry for saying but seems like y’all are NOT acting like parents when you do your “1,2”… However, it’s happened and you need to start thinking about them more than making yourself feel good and explain to them that it’s NOT OK AT ALLL!!!
It’s natural to explore and has no bearing on walking in on you on a single occasion. If you allow it to happen on a regular basis, then maybe start locking your door. Otherwise, do not get overly concerned that they are being inquisitive. Explain in a calm relaxed manner that it’s inappropriate at this stage of their life and you would prefer they not do it. The more drama involved, the more likely they are to want to know what all the hub-bub is about.
Get a lock for your door. Talk to them and explain like with words there are actions that adults do that kids cant. especially the seven year old. She’s older and if their doing things like this it’s probably more than likely she’s initiating it. She’s understands more than her brother. Maybe put them in separate rooms now. I would also check out what they may be watching on tv / tables etc.
Lock door phones ect don’t be doing it if they are up or home omg it’s not hard.
My husband is a nurse he had anatomy books. My kids at an early age learned bones, to names of body parts. You could get books to explain our bodies. You could say moms and have their a lone time. Say you aren’t brother and sisters. Explain it to them separately, tell them it’s not ok to do (whatever they’re doing) but, don’t shame them about it either. The more upset you become they just blow it off. Good luck.
They’re old enough to comprehend the birds and the bees, you can explain it to them without the Nitty gritty if you want, there are plenty of age appropriate books that you can use to help you. My mum told me that her and dad were married and loved each other an d that’s how grown up adults showed they loved each other, after that I was satisfied and lost interest.
Should have locked the door?
We have a gate on the top of the stairs. We sleep on the 1st floor everyone is upstairs with the video baby monitors.
Should have been a LOT more careful, huh. Now you get to try to explain sex to a 7 and 5 year old without traumatizing them.
Omg y’all on here saying “should have locked the door”. Ok well I have a bedroom door that locks but if you push hard enough it opens anyway. I live in a rental property too so it’s not like I can replace it. And have you ever been in the heat of the moment and forgot to lock the door? My mom was very poor when she was raising us and could only afford a 2 bedroom so she slept in the dining room with a curtain covering it so there was no door, yes my brother and I walked in on her a time or two. It happens sometimes! Instead of shaming her and telling her what she should have done why don’t you just give her what she asked for! As for the advice I would explain to them it’s something between unrelated adults that should be private and keep them seperated when not under supervision for the time being.
Ok for everyone saying lock the doors, it odviously to late for that as for the OP. You’ve exposed your kids to sex, if they’re old enough to be acting out what they saw, they’re old enough for you to explain what you were doing, explain to them they’re body parts and how they are for them only. If you dont teach them theyll learn from someone else, and probably another child that has no idea what they’re talking about:woman_shrugging: I’m very open with my children, my 4 and 5 year old know the proper name for their body parts and for boys as well, they know what periods are, they know how babies are born (my 5 years old asked if babies come out of your butt so I had to explain:sweat_smile:) this is not a taboo subject and it’s your job as a parent to educate. You can’t just tell them “that’s bad dont do it” that’s just gonna make them more curious…
Idk…my 7 year old has walked in on us a few times. We have since taught her to knock. If no answer,come back later. We always stopped immediately when she opened the door and covered up. So…she never saw anything and never asked about it. I just told her we need alone time sometimes,so she has to learn to knock and,no answer,leave and try again later. Wish could lock our door,but lock broke and haven’t had time to fix it. I wouldnt explain the birds and the bees,but tell them their behavior is inappropriate and they will be grounded or whatever if dont stop. However you punish them.
Eeew their poor eyes must be scorched
Kids do walk in an may see stuff… teach kids to knock on any door before entering… they are curious at that age… their Minds go haywire. They doing what they saw u and dad doing. When caught again or even before that sit with them… the both of u and explain to them why what they are doing is wrong… talk in a pleasant tone… give them a chance to Express themselves vocally to u as well… it has happened to alot of us already. Some children even older have walked in… don’t be too hard on urself… and yes if they’re up play some music we can tend to get a bit loud in the moment. YOU GOT THIS MOMMA!
You should have the talk with them. At least the 7yo. It may help if they understand what is going on between mom and dad.
Your door don’t have a lock??
Everyone saying lock your doors…you think? Maybe their door doesn’t have a lock. That advice isn’t helping the fact that’s they already seen it. What the heck is going on here I don’t understand.
Um… lock the damn door? Problem solved.
To catch you once is unfortunate but more than once is inexcusable. You can’t tell them what they are doing is bad, cause you and daddy are doing it. Explain that it’s adult behaviour that only mommy and daddy does. You have to be married and in love.
Y’all realize some kids easily pick locks right? My fiance has always been amazing at it. I’d just try to explain to them that that is something for adults only and it’s not allowed with siblings but in the most appropriate way possible
I would lock your door or do it when they are sleeping
I have a seven and fine year old and we started making them knock instead of walking in. The only time they can just walk in is when I’m here alone by myself because I’m usually stuck feeding the baby and can’t open the door lol. But I’d definetly start having them knock. Plus it’s just mannerly.
Lock your door if you have to do it, for crist sake!
If you have a lock definitely lock it. Me and hubby normally wait till our kiddos are asleep and wait a few hours till we know for sure but we also lock our door. When done we unlock in case there is an emergency and they need to get to us ASAP. I’d definitely sit down and have a talk with them and if it continues, call their doctor and ask about counseling? Nobody will think your a bad parent. It happens more then what people think. Hugs momma you got this
Judge much, ladies?? Jesus. Just explain what they saw is for adults only and not little kids. If need be, explain sex in an age appropriate way, none explicit. I’m sorry this happened and I’m sorry you’re having to work through this. Good luck, momma.
To all the “lock the door” comments… I’m pretty sure it’s a bit too late for that advice. She is asking how to deal with the aftermath, not how to go back in time and prevent. My advice, talk to the 7 year old. Maybe explain that is something adults do once they are in love and married. Also, talk to both about how that behavior is inappropriate for children. Unfortunately, you can’t undo what has already been done, but hopefully you can get them to understand. Good luck mama
First off id sit with the 7yr old and ask what they are doing when doing those weird things. If they say idk tell them “well lets not do it anymore it looks inappropriate and some people might not like it” if they respond what you and daddy were doing respond with “ok well that is something only mommies and daddies can do. Youre not a mommy/daddy so lets not do that anymore, ok” once the 7yr old understands to stop they can help you to correct the younger child by saying stop we cant do that.
Talk to a child therapist and a doctor. Nothing to be ashamed of. This obviously happen. But you definitely need to talk to professionals and not go by Facebook.
It time to lock the door
Yikes, tell them brothers and sisters don’t act that way together. Good luck
Too many different opinions….best for BOTH parents and BOTH children to sit down and just discuss the situation. If you’re not quite sure how to even bring it up….speak first to their pediatrician. He/she should be able to give some pointers….to be done in a healthy manner. Don’t panic. Children are big time curious. That’s why we monitor what they watch on tv and block adult programs. Make sure dad is involved in this discussion!
Why don’t you lock your door while having sex if you don’t have a lock they don’t cost much then put on the wall.
First off regardless if your door is unlocked or locked they are old enough to be respectful and knock on the door and wait for permission to enter. Only time the should barge it if there’s an emergency period. Have a sit down with them both and explain to them what they saw was something between mommy and daddy and they should not do what ever they are doing cause it’s wrong. And father God will be hurt because that’s something they can only do when they get older and get married.
All I can say is talk to them both.
Deal with the situation. Before one or both of them do something inappropriate in public or at school and some asshole hotlines you.