My kids are being inappropriate after walking in on my husband and I, help!

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. I know they have caught their dad and I having sex. We now have issues of them being inappropriate or weird together. I do not want to create a divide between them. I have tired to explained what they are doing is wrong. I do not believe they comprehend what they are doing. Please help me!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My kids are being inappropriate after walking in on my husband and I, help!

You need to sit them down and have a conversation about what they saw, consent, its for adults etc.

Talk to your kids x

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locking your bedroom door might help

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Get a lock on the door

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Therapy ASAP. I would do this before they start possibly acting out on other kids.

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You’re definitely gonna wanna get them into therapy now before they do it to other kids. The absolute last thing you want is CPS and Police at your door investigating something that wasn’t done with ill intent.

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Wow….that’s scary and alarming :scream:

How long were they watching?? My kids wanted in on me and their father in the middle of the act several times (when he was alive) but we stopped immediately and they honestly knew no difference other than we were just being silly……

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Maybe they have seen it more than once the 7 year old should most definitely know it’s wrong

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Don’t mess around when the kids are home and awake key word awake, and get a lock on your door. And they need to learn that what you were doing is something only married couples should do not brothers and sisters.

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TALK TO YOUR KIDS. For crisis sake. They are old enough to comprehend age appropriate explanations. Don’t beat around the bush. Be honest and use appropriate words. Do it before they go to school and try it with other kids. Be adults about it.

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Explain it’s a form of how you show your love to the dad and voice versa something that’s a special love for once they are older but it’s not r the same as sibling love and sharing hugs

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Put them in separate rooms and lock ones door at night

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This is another one of the fake sounding stories

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Stuff like this happens, and that’s honestly normal… Set them down for a talk separately that way you can use age appropriate terms but explain to them what they saw and why brothers and sisters don’t do those kinds of activities together. Talking to your kiddos is 100% the way to go! Talk about consent as well! Being honest gets you so much further than beating around the bush. You didn’t tramatize them, sex is normal especially in a married setting!

Time to make sure you are watching your kids at all times. Hopefully they are not sleeping together or in the same room. FB doctors to the rescue on this one.

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It seems to me that if they are recreating sexual behavior then they have seen it more than once.:woman_shrugging:

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Are you positive they’re not being harmed by anyone?

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Honestly i had a situation as a child where my friend was showing me inappropriate things that she saw her step dad doing to her mom. I didnt understand but i had a weird feeling it wasnt right so i went and told my mom what she was showing me. My mom had no idea exactly how to explain so she took me to a child counselor to explain. And honestly i think it helped me understand why it was wrong! I was maybe 4 yrs old. Years later when i got older i found out that he had actually been molesting my my friend as well. So some of that he had done to her. :frowning:

My point is, if you cant figure out how to explain to them maybe a session with a child psychologist? They know how to appropriately make kids understand

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Ensure they aren’t getting abused by anyone. & therapy either way.

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This sounds more like consistent abuse.

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This does not sound right. If they saw even a few seconds of it, they wouldn’t be doing it. Seems like they watched a whole lot of it and I can’t understand how, or they are being abused. A seven-year-old is old enough to know that they are doing something wrong if you have told them to stop. Ultimately they are now abusing each other without even knowing it. Please get professional help. This is not a simple case of kids mimicking what they saw. This post is either fake or posted by someone, who has blinders on.

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Lock your doors people!! ALSO Did this happen right after them seeing you ? I would look out for any other signs of sexual abuse, therapy for sure

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Honey, seeing y’all once won’t cause that…
Unless they caught y’all being super kinky.
Get them a therapist.

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Eww. Umm be more careful!?
That’s traumatizing

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I so dont normally respond to posts but I gotta tell ya a 5 and 7 yr old walking in the bedroom :thinking::thinking::thinking:they should be asleep before adult activity is going on AND YOUR DOOR SHOULD BE LOCKED.at those ages you just traumatized your babies.NOW you need to look into if there experimenting or things are being done to them.unreal your job is to protect your children you should’ve caught on after the first time and locked your dang door.thats YOUR JOB.

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Take them to there dr explain it all and go from there.

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abused kids will typically abuse other kids bc they think it’s normal behavior.

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I’m not really sure what to think :thinking: of this. Even if they walked in on y’all I don’t think that would be enough for them to mimic the behavior and especially with each other. I’m just not buying this story idk

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Therapy and locked doors will be your best friend.

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One child would be sleeping in my room at night for safety reasons untill this was straight…Therapy! Ummm…Explain it’s between two adults and bust some butts!!! Protect your child lady !!! This is what happens when children are nosey in adult business !!! All kids are curious !!! But they normally don’t act things out!!!

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At least you’re getting some.

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I would like to hear more about what they’re doing together- is it just rolling around with clothes on and imitating you guys- harmlessly? Sex is normal, natural and not shameful, especially between married people- especially more, you’re PARENTS. Please don’t listen to these puritanical people, assuming their imitation isn’t too extreme. I would make it light and tell the kids that Mommy and Daddy love each other and “Whoops, you guys weren’t supposed to see that…One day, when you love someone, we will talk again about these things, but for now, please knock on our doors…” If they’re doing really serious things, I wouldn’t react too shocked and I would take them in to talk to someone- but this post doesn’t say enough. Anyway, good luck. Shit happens…It’ll be okay. At the end of the day, it was an accident and is NOT the end of the world! At all. Some might just laugh it off.

Common sense wake up just lock the door when your having sex how hard is that and when your done unlock the door

Do you have a lock on your door? That’ll help with the walking in, they’re old enough to knock my 3 year old knows to knock. Also, just keep correcting it’ll eventually sort out soon.

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Everyone is a damn therapist now :laughing:

OKAY. Walking in on this could absolutely cause mimicked behavior. I’m not gonna throw my degree out there or anything but seriously people, if you have kids and think they will not mimic one behavior you. Are. Wrong. YOU’RE WRONG!!!

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Lock your doors…

Sex Ed Rescue with Cath Hakanson

It sounds more like they’re being sexually abused and that’s where they’re learning this from :disappointed: them just walking in on something once would not cause them to do inappropriate acts on each other. This definitely sounds more like sexual abuse. I would start talking to your 7 year old and them babies are going to need a Sh!t ton of therapy :broken_heart:

There’s way more going on… no kid is gonna constantly act that out with their sibling after walking in on you once. This is either fake, those kids are being abused or you just keep f*cking whether they walk in or not

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They’re curious! It happens… Especially when they have different parts! Keep explaining to them it’s not ok for them to do those things… I wouldn’t get angry or upset with them… Keep their doors open as well… No blankets when playing… And keep them aways from each other when bathing…

Also be a tad bit more cautious when having some adult time :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: good luck momma :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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They are exploring, correct books and education is needed for them to understand what is happening. You need to sit down and have many MANY good quality conversations with them and take taboo out of it but also the excitement of exploring. Get book “How to talk with your kids about sex” by Dr.John T. Chirban. Gives absolutely correct way to deal with the situation.

Sounds like the whole family needs counseling

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Therapy, immediately, this is something you need professional help with

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When I was younger iv walked in on my parents multiple times gross yes not traumatized at all though and I would use this as an opportunity to stay talking about body functions ( kid versions) my daughter is 6 and knows about some stuff we don’t teach her about sex but she knows boy parts and girls parts and she knows baby’s come from bellies ect just water it down it will only be weird if you make it weird and if i where you both of you sit at the table and have a convo with them and let them know what they are doing is not ok and allow questions and explain why this should help

Ignore it. The more you react the more fun for them it is to do it. It’s a game. But curiosity is natural. Get books , the what’s happening to me are great for explaining body changes, but find an age appropriate book explaining sex and sit and talk with them at their level. It isn’t something brothers and sisters do together and they need to be appropriate and try to understand that it’s wrong to act out together like this. As embarrassing as it is, speak to school too. If they act out there it may prompt safeguarding procedures if they don’t know why they’re doing it and they may involve or encourage others

Pretty sure she knows she should have locked the door. Captain obvious’. Get them into therapy immediately. It’s behavior that needs to be corrected and if they won’t listen to you, a therapist will help. Do not let them be alone.

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Kids don’t start having sex with eachother because they caught their parents one time :roll_eyes:
I would take them to a psychologist asap as something is definitely going on.

First I applaud you for going to an open forum and asking for
Help/guidance. Especially with all the levels of opinions you will hear.

Children do things; especially when they are young and curious.

With that being said that could also be an indicator That they have been a victim of such behavior.

I would sit them down and discuss what they saw.

I would then follow up with a therapist to make sure there is nothing that everyone is missing as far as prior abuse or current abuse .

Also keep a close eye on your children till then. Remind them of what’s appropriate vs what isn’t.

Good luck to you

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definitely do not ignore this. my cousin remembered her mom having sex with her in the same bed as her at THREE years old & ended up being curious with my uncle which lead to them including me at four years old. & several family members that would come over, neighbors kids, babysitters kids. was caught twice and they brushed it off so it continued more and more children getting their innocence stolen, i grew up having several UTIs and not even fully understanding what was going on was wrong because it started when i was so young. get them in counseling ASAP & break that pattern before it even starts. 7 is 1000% old enough to understand right from wrong & maybe don’t have sex when your children are awake? lock your door? exposing them to that sexual energy at that age is literally traumatizing the sex isn’t going anywhere it’ll always be there & could probably wait. preserving your children’s innocence should come way before you needing to get some.

Kids do not just see and do… they are taught to do. They have either seen more then you say or they’ve been abused

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Lock your doors and well just talk to them try to explain the best u can

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I just wounder if they are seeing a lot of it from tv?

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I don’t know how to help you but I applaud you for having a healthy sex life after 2 kids. You obviously have a strong relationship. I really hope you get this sorted

We explained where they’re no no squares are and who is and isn’t allowed to touch them. Like brothers and sisters don’t touch each other. Adults don’t ever touch your no no squares unless it is mommy or daddy bathing you and cleaning your parts. They know if ANYONE including family touches their no no squares to tell us. They have understood this since they were 3(boy) & 4(girl)
They also know that if they touch each other their ass is grass and this is also why they have their own rooms now. Because they have touched each other’s down stairs and we them had to start explaining and enforcing rules about no no squares

Okay so I’m not a perfect parent and my kids have caught us once or twice in the middle of the night; (thought they were asleep) but not once have they ever tried to act out this behaviour. Please take your child to therapy their may be a deeper root to this behaviour. Best of luck x

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Explain that what they saw are for mommies and daddies only. That its not ok that they do these as that is between adults who love each other. Keep ok telling them. Also lock ur door and teach them to knock!

That is a wide range on what you mean by weird and inappropriate. And you also say that like they have seen more than one incident which is what i find most off putting about the whole post. Why don’t you lock the door for one and definitely check whatever it is going on in your household.

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Something else is definitely happening when you’re not around because they don’t do this just after one time

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Years ago roommates child walked in on me an boyfriend. We just froze luckily had a sheet over us. I got dressed went downstairs to tell mom what happened thinking she was going to be mad. She said nope I knew what ya were doing the floor creaks and he needed to get in the dresser up there. Needles to say never happened again. No harm done.

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I’m guessing they’re also getting information about it from kids at school. I was appalled by what my daughter knew about it at that age. On that same note, one of my children was sexually abused by a family member. They both became interested in exploring sexual behaviors. I would check with your school, family, and other people you regularly visit to make sure nothing else is happening. It could be anything from being abused to sneak watching stuff with their friends/at someone else’s house and wanting to “try it out”.

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Seeing just once wouldn’t provoke this behavior so strongly. I feel like there’s a lot more to this. Get them into counseling. Sheesh

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Have u actually sat them down and spoke to them about it? Maybe that’s a good start…xx

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I think u should definitely look more Into this . How much did they see ? How did they no what was happening at such young age ? They must have seen quiet a bit . My daughter walked in once and never see a thing told her we was play fighting and that’s it . Fir them to be acting it out they seen far to much

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How much would they of seen to be re-enacting things themselves. Being caught shouldn’t give them enough knowledge on what you where actually doing. There maybe something more serious

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Baby oil on the door handle :raised_hands::rofl:

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Sorry this doesn’t make sense at all. I would have them visit a professional as walking in on your parents does not cause a child to reinact anything, as how much could they have seen? Something else is going on.

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Lock the door maybe??

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What do you mean they are being inappropriate? Do you mean they are being sexually inappropriate?

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I always lock my door. Problem solved lol

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How do you know they caught you? By their behaviour?? Or because you saw them? I don’t think a quick peek is enough to initiate incestuous behaviour. Otherwise we would have a whole lot more of this happening. I’d have a talk with the kids. Is anyone touching them? Who has access to them?

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they dont understand, they are copying you. explain to them that theres different kinds of love and be open and honest with them. and buy a lock

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Tell them the truth, this is what’s wrong with the world today. They are over 3yr, explain your situation correctly.

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Red flags galore. This is either a troll post or your children have been exposed to more than a glimpse of mum and dad in bed.

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How long were they watching?
If they asw how happy you both were they might not been exposed to others but just playing it out.
Do sit down and have chats.

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They must have seen a whole lot or seen it going on more than once.

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For them to do whatever it is they’re doing, trust me, they didn’t learn that from just “walking in on you”…

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For all the people saying that your children could re-enact that behavior from walking in on you ONE time is completely ignorant! There is NO WAY siblings this age would do this behavior with each other from a SECOND of seeing you. UNLESS…

  1. You didn’t know they were there and they watched for a longer period of time.
  2. They have seen this behavior consistently
  3. They are being sexually abused
    So, with that said, you need to get your S*&T together and find out EXACTLY what has happened! There needs to be some serious conversations with each child separately and together. You are their momma and something serious is going on and YOU need to find out IMMEDIATELY! THEN you can decide how to move forward, whether be it counseling, police, etc.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with an accident happening like if they were to have woken up and walked in on you guys and you immediately stopped…none of us are perfect and s*&t happens. When I was a teenager, I walked in on my dad doing oral sex on my mom. I wanted to burn my eyes out of My face lol but THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED HERE!! Something more serious has occurred or is occurring and you need to MOMMA BEAR this situation RIGHT NOW!!
    I will pray for your family, you got this!! :pray:

Usually when you walk in on you parents you don’t end up seeing enough to initiate all of that. They shouldn’t have seen THAT much I mean c’mon.

Counselling. ASAP.

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This is so sad. Therapy for sure.

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So I actually know someone this happened to believe it or not. Idk how many times they walked in on their parents or why they thought trying out what mom and dad did was a good idea but…

Addressing it now, and getting them therapy now would be best. Communication here is key. Don’t try and brush it under the rug. Ask them why they’re doing this behavior ect.

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I would take them to a therapist and figure out why they’re acting like that it could be something else and they might be able to explain it to them better in a way they would understand that it’s wrong.

Define inappropriate???

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Or as a mom or dad the child saw you and are now exploring their body … which is normal… they are not sexuralizing it unless you make it that or they are actually doing something sexual. No matter what masterbation feels good to kids young enough that they don’t know it could be a sexual act.

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Umm no they didn’t see y’all once cause there’s no reason for them to be doing stuff like you’re describing to that extent. So either they saw way too much or someone touching them

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If they gave tablets i would deff be checking them

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7 and 5 yr old alone while whoopie going on what could wrong

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In school we learned that this is actually a normal stage of childhood and many parents just are unaware regardless I would still put them in therapy ASAP to make sure it doesn’t go beyond that

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With a topic that is SO sensitive, I suggest you seek professional help rather than advice from strangers on FB.
In the meantime, don’t let either of them play unattended with any of their friends. Doors open and constant supervision.
Nip this now so you don’t end up getting a phone call from the parent of another child telling you that your child violated their child. Sounds insane…but that is the natural path these curious kids take.

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Well my husband and I never have sex unless the door is locked. Also my kids have already had the sex talk. I’m very open with my kids. But this sounds like kids have been exposed before. Kids seeing you have sex once don’tjust go and try it with eachother unless they literally were in there for awhile without you guys knowing.

I think a good talk and maybe counseling is a good idea. But I am here to say that kid copy alot and it very well could have taken one time walking in or standing there without being noticed. Why are y’all all saying it couldn’t have been one time? Idk about y’all, but I don’t stay under the covers the whole time. We close our bedroom door and put something in front so we would know if they walked in, but I can easily see how one time could create thoughts and wonders in little kids heads 🤷

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1st, lock your friggin door! 2nd, yes i agree, if they are “playing it out” they saw a whole lot and yall just werent very mindful of your kids being in there…or its happened multiple times (again get a lock on your door) or something else is going on. In any case they probably do need therapy at this point to address the issue before it gets any further out of hand.

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Why were you not watching them? Be intimate when they are not home or sleeping. You did it to yourself. However this isn’t the first time they walked in on you is it? If it is then someone may be touching them.

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Not to sound rude but why wouldnt you lock your door lol. As a mother for 10 years now I’ve never once tried to pull a quickie or anything ever without locking the door… usually too paranoid and wait till my kid is in bed. At this point I would consider therapy before this turns into something tragic…

This sounds like a more serious situation, I would seek help for sure, for both children bc its sounds like way more then just walking in on yr parents
They know way more then they should, and knowing how to act on them out, it’s most likely been going on longer,just seeing you has aloud them to think its ok for people to see

Definitely a very touchy and concerning :worried: topic

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Wait till they’re sleeping for sex, Your pediatrician will tell you it’s a phase they grow out of also, I don’t think therapy is needed unless it continues

I’m so confused as to why everyone’s first response is therapy lol they are kids they are going to be curious I remember as a child thi gs like this we were talked to told it wasn’t something we should be doing and we didn’t do it again im just fine lol I didn’t need therapy I walked in on my mom at about 7 or 8 also again when I was about 13 and ugh omg never again I was more embarrassed than her so I say talk to your kids make sure they know good touch bad touch and such I don’t think therapy is necessary omg that is how you cause ptsd and crap like that everyone’s first response therapy no let them be kids damn

Idk why people are bashing you, it happens!! I’d sit them both down and explain that there are some things only GROWNUPS can do. And what they saw is only something grownups can do! If you don’t know how to explain it or don’t feel comfortable explaining it then I would get a therapist to do it. I know it’s embarrassing but it happens more than people think.

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