Hunni take it from me
I’m a grandmother, I live with my daughter and her family
And I got to a point with my grandkids
If their happy to live in a pig sty
They can
But I refuse to and I’m disabled
I will still end up doing it
I refuse to walk into their bedrooms without a hezmet suit and an oxygen tank
I’ve implimented a work to rule order
I will clean the lounge room , bathroom, laundry and kitchen
To the best of my ability
Don’t even get me started on the plates issue
It got to the point I had no plates in the cupboard
Because I didn’t have any to wash
I made everyone eat of plastic plates Untill the dirty ones were on the sink ( which actually backfired on me as I had 3 stacks of plates , 18 glasses and a mountain of cuterly
To wash)
Basically what I’m trying to say
Is pick your battles
Because theses are not the hills
You want to die on
P.S
My grandkids are 10, 13 and 15
first of all- your parents have NOTHING to do with you current family. your past family is just that, the past. you now have the current family. the fact they’d want to help is good… bit are they really helping?- or judging?
secondly, when it comes to kids you will always remind them chores… and you give incentives they WANT for those chores or they live without. do they like video games? certain toys?
make it clear to them if they want whatever their hearts desire, they’d better do the chores expected. on meal time don’t allow electronics.
if they want internet, make them earn it. teaching them chores and the fact they live in your home, they can clean up after themselves is very real, they will have more respect when you hold their butts accountable. plus you teach them how to be accountable*** IN LIFE****
a dying practice across every spoiled kid allover . which leads to murdes raps disgusting ppl and as*hats
No food in rooms…golden rule in our house. Don’t clean up after themselves…no more snacks. Don’t pick up toys/clean room…things get taken away. When I was growing up my mom told me to clean my room and if I didn’t she would come in with a big black trash bag and “throw” all my toys and things away; she never did but made me earn them back. PS: if you think it’s bad now just wait til they hit their teens…it’ll get WAY worse if you don’t nip it in the bud now. Stand firm and let them know you mean business. I’ve gone as far as refusing to let them play with their friends until it’s all cleaned up and even grounded them for a week. I learned that using a chore/behavior chart with rewards once they get so many points during the week.
If they are leaving wrappers around, why are there still items that have wrappers available to them? It’s your job as a parent to make sure they know where the stuff belongs. Making them clean the house isn’t going to work. Sometimes you need to sit them down and flat out ask them why are they not cleaning up after themselves. Ask them if they need more direction, further help learning. Remind them that you aren’t going to make things available to them if they aren’t going to help you out and pick up after themselves.
You are allowing it tho or it wouldn’t of become such a nuisance to the point they are doing it at other peoples houses. Don’t be trying to paint yourself as a parent who’s made the kids clean up after themselves or that you made them clean the entire house because if that was the case then this wouldn’t be an issue. You should’ve taught them responsibilities by now which they do not have. You as a parent are their teacher not their friend so nip this in the butt now or when they’re adults they’re going to disgusting slobs. You got 8 years and 9 years to teach them responsibility. Take the electronics away. Make them sit at the table to eat or drink. You’re a pushover and they know and they don’t care
I feel like I could have said this myself a few months ago…
You’re not alone… And there is some very helpful advice in this post!
You most definitely are not a maid.
And I understand the losing your temper or yelling because it gets really freaking old like old old!
I Just tried to keep in mind when I would get angry about it. It can in fact be cleaned up , so there’s no sense in turning a hole day bad over a little mess.
Yes! the mess is frustrating But,… they only get away with what we allow. So I hope you find something that works well for you in all this advice. 
My mom had a wooden spoon and my dad had his belt time to be old school on em !!!
Have you tried a belt to their hides…?
Not only do you not clean after them. Don’t cook for them. Or wash their clothes. Or give them the wifi password. Etc unless and until messes are cleaned. And nit pick every little thing. Before dinner. After dinner. Before bed. When they wake up. Before leaving for school. They’ll get sick of it.  yes, it’s going to be tiresome and irritating for you and dad, but it’s not gonna be comfortable. No way that’s going to get them in line is gonna be comfortable for you and dad. Because you guys are gonna have to constantly be on them regardless of the method you choose 
Welcome to motherhood. My kids ride their skates right behind me when im mopping.
Make them eat everything at the table. And they need to clean up afterwards. If they don’t respect this it’s time to start taking privileges away.
Make them clean up their own messes right then and there, while you watch. They don’t get to move on to anything else until the tasks are completed.
As far as toys go, I started throwing things out that were not put away. My daughter is 11 now and she knows. Eating she only eats at the kitchen table
Stop trying to be a friend , kids haven’t earned the right to do what they want and make any rules or demands.
As a parent
You have to set structure to ensure they can become the best human possible over time. YOU get to say where they cross the line, society theses days makes kids feel like they have the “say so” but they don’t.
Mom of nine here and I agree. But they should only eat at the table anyway. All the time. My kids did that and it cut way down on the mess.