My kids have not been listening to me and I am at a loss: Advice?

Tell them to choose one toy. All others get put up until they behave every day for a set amount of days. Only add one toy at a Time. Arguments should be noted and will keep the days extended. Be strong. No toys, no mess.

When you clean there room put everything you pick up in a garbage bag and put it in your closet they can earn it back when they start listening or when the keep there rooms clean that’s what I so with my 4 yr old

Bag everything up including the garbage in black garbage bags. Let them earn each bag back sight unseen. They will be a little disappointed when they open a bag of garbage but they will soon learn to appreciate what they have and keep it clean.

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You really have to stay consistent in what you expect from them and what you do to make them to start doing WHAT THEY HAVE TO do.
Do not let them by with not doing what is reasonable for them to do. In other words stick to your rules. Take away their most prized possession. Be it. T.v…phone games etc. Do not have it in your house so they can find it. Believe me I know how hard it is.my oldest one was very obedient. But my youngest tried me at every turn .every time I took his Nintendo away he always ran led and found it. One day he was sneaky and I came home early. He had taken it out of the trunk of my car. So this made about the 2nd or third time he did not do any chores so I took it to work and locked it in my locker for a full month. He got more responsible but still would try to get by with what he thought he could. That’s why we all have to be consistent. Good luck. Prayer for you and that they turn out good kids. In today’s world they need all the love and guidance we can give them.

Yes i agree record and show your case worker.

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My son doesn’t listen he gets it taken. His Xbox and Playstation and toys are not a necessity and he knows when he doesn’t listen I take everything away doesn’t matter if it’s in the middle of him playing it I will straight up walk in his room & unplug it. If they all aren’t listening we pick up toys or I do & lock the room the toys are in until they’re ready for bed & they can only go back in that room when they can listen. If not its staying locked. My kid slams his door? I’m takin it, u don’t need the door. U want it? Earn it by listening, not talking back & not slamming the door. Especially my 7 yearold he loves going to nanas house on the weekend. U don’t listen u don’t go & his attitude turns around big time.

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Whip there lil butts!! Not to hard but I’m boss you are not!!!

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Have caseworker take em for a day. Scare the shit out of them

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Maybe they would benefit from therapy… finding a 3rd party to help them work through some emotions.

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Take treats and privileges away

Start taking away things. Don’t give it back unless they help

I say take the old history way, bust the butt’s and make an impression every single time they don’t mind. They will get the picture if it is a fact going to happen. Parents need to be parents not puppets.

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Take away all their electronics until they do as they are told!!! They can have them back when chores are done - period - lay down the law !!!

Take away all electronics, tv time. If u have too, take any & alls toys away. Their both old enough to clean their rooms, make their beds, do dishes, vacuum, help fold clothes, empty the waste baskets thru the house, put away groceries. Stop making gourmet lunches. Give them cheese or bologna sandwiches. Stop buying kool-aid, pop, ice cream, go-gurts. The point is to get them to help. Establish House Rules. Consequences of breaking house rules. When they start to listen & follow directions. What they should be doing on a daily basis. Reward them. Watch Super Nanny on YouTube. She’ll help. U have to follow thru w any consequences w kids

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Take all electronics, internet, tv, snacks away. 3 meals is all that is required and I’d take every damn toy away too! Kids need to learn respect

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Throw alllll their shit away except bed and clothes.

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I HAVE THIS SAME THING HAPPENING! GIRL WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER MESSAGE ME! I’m

They need a therapist

I hope u made him clean up his poop.

I’d have beat their ass thats why God put it there whoop those brains back to where they belong

Me…I would beat there asses and take my chances. 🤷

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Give them a few options so they choose which job to do

We did a chore chart. With different incentives. Ice cream, money etc…the bigger the chore the greater the reward.

Get your kids in sports with a coach, when old enough Navy or Army Cadets, Boxing or Martial Arts.

Take away all toys, NOT one in the house. No TV. Just a book or two.

Take away the electronics or fun stuff until it’s cleaned …. Don’t do it for them that lets them know you’ll do it time and time again.

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Unplug the internet & take the video games away-or whatever their thing is. These things are privileges & need to be earned.

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Spear the rod and spoil the child

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Send them to reform school. They need outside help. God bless you.

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When a horse won’t let you catch him, you take away his food and water. It doesn’t take very long, and soon they’re your best friend, and you have no problem catching them.

However, seeing as how you’re not allowed to spank - I doubt you’d be allowed to starve either….

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My kids have not been listening to me and I am at a loss: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

How do we get respect from others? Communication, commitment, ensuring they are heard, and mutual show of respect. Your kids are acting out because there is an unmet need; be it food, attention, love, play etc. Sit them down and ask them why they are acting the way they are. See if they can tell you what is wrong. Ask what you can do that will help build trust in the relationship. I agree with the others suggesting therapy as well. Best of luck mama.

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Early Intervention for behavior issues. Therapy for them. Since you got out of an abusive relationship they may have seen things and Since you yourself have already tried talking to them. Separate them for awhile because your youngest is mimicking the eldest. Few ideas. Take them to the park get their energy out. Take away items yet give them a chance to earn it back by doing chores. Do not give into the tantrums. Yet Therapy for sure , that poop on wall issue is concerning.

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The smearing poop on the walls is concerning …have they had any abuse in the past? I would seriously consider getting them some counseling … they sound angry and you did say you had recently gotten out of a domestic “situation” which I am thinking means abusive.

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WHY can’t you physically discipline them again???

8yr old drawing on the walls WITH POOP!!!

Ummmmm, NO!!!

Is there any way you can SEPARATE the kids? Have one with you and another with the Nana perhaps?

They seem to be feeding off each other and separating them - just for a while, MIGHT break the cycle.

But seriously… WHY would the state want to - as it were, tie your hands in that manner IF they are NOT going to help you?

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Tell them that the caseworker that comes over is watching them and how they act. If they straighten up and help and change their attitude that she’s going to come take them to love w someone else.

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I think that is bull. If my kids needed a good whooping that’s what they got. Now I have 2 respectful young men… There isn’t anyone who is gonna tell me I can’t raise my kids my way… That’s how I was raised…

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Regardless if that wasn’t their bio dad… I’m assuming he was a father figure… they’re also going through the loss of losing him too… And, is there a chance they seen any domestic violence between you guys? Considering CSD got involved? If so, they do need counseling.

  1. Therapy if they are not already

  2. Take the things that they refuse to clean and keep it all until they help regularly. They earn ONE item back at a time of YOUR choosing.

  3. Good luck

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This has me remembering back when my sister got divorced her husband Brainwashed the kids except for the baby he was so lovable to his mom and he had an order that she could not discipline and by golly she did not discipline and they ran all over her except for her her son the youngest one. I believe if it wasn’t for her youngest child loving her so much and the other to seeing him do that they broke free from their fathers brainwashing and finally she’s got her kids back and they love her so much and they apologized to her. Sorry I’m rambling on it just gave me just remembering of what what my sister went through I pray to God for you

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May not be popular opinion but oh well. Tell the worker what’s still going on they are plenty old enough to know and help.my 14 year old daughter who is autistic helps my disabled a** with no issue your kids can too. Time to give tough love let worker take them and split them up and see what that kind of life is really about.maybe just maybe it will teach them a lesson on every action has a opposite reaction.every decision has consequences.

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I would definitely recommend you ALL see a therapist. For them to develop coping skills and you to develop some parenting tools.

Hitting is another word for spanking. Hitting is never the answer.

The best consequences are natural.

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Have you done any therapy for them? It sounds like they need it. Also doing parenting classes WITH the kids, can help tremendously.

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I understand where you are coming from and the fact you cannot discipline your own children is ridiculous. Discipline is not abusing or beating children, it is a give and take approach. I would explain to the children with the caseworker present that if they do not start obeying,helping and being respectful that you are not going to be responsible for DSS interfering. That they could actually be placed in foster homes and that they would still be required to clean,obey and be respectful to strangers. Sometimes being strate forward can help.The caseworker should put them in counseling. There may be hidden problems you are not aware of yet.When I raised mine I had a saying. In this home you mind,if you don’t want to mind call DSS and take a shot with a stranger. I love my kids and I never had to say that but once when my son was a teenager trying to go down the wrong path of life. He stopped his behavior. I was blessed with 2 great kids,they are wonderful adults. I didn’t face physical abuse from a spouse. You have different issues than most people commenting. Seek help from churches,counselors or your caseworker. That’s my best advice. Prayer helps too. Get involved in church that helps too.

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I think you all should seek a group therapist to help with boundaries and communication.

Then take out a majority of the “extra” stuff in their rooms and put it in bins. Then rotate the bins so they Have new things to play with.

Come up with a family list of responsibilities and chores so that everyone knows what they are responsible for. Do not give them a choice in this. Everyone helps out in the family/home. Your social worker should be able to help you sit down with your kids and help explain without scaring them.

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I would never let anyone take away my rights to spank my children, sounds like this is what is needed to get their attention. It also sound like you need some help with them, talk to your case manager and insist that you need help with them. If their father is willing ask him for help.

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Tell your kids if they want to go to a foster home to keep doing what they are doing now but if they want to stay at home with you to help you clean

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i think they subconsciously punching you 4 not keeping there father in the house…otherwise getting a new man to the house
they need to respect their mom… not just the daily home tasks is how you are gonna win there respect .
the 5 y/o is lmitiating his older brother
in a day when your kids are not home… get a bag collect all of there toys video games …
you talk to them… about how inappropriate what they do… and they will help you in chorus and they will be rewarded
get gold and silver stars and stick it on the fridge under each of there names when ever they do something good
and also be specific on your demands
don’t say clean your room
they don’t know how to do it… so specific
like pick up your clothes
hang them
scrub the toilet after you use it…and so on
finaly…I will pray for you :heartpulse:

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Counseling would be good here for the kids, make rules and be clear about it. They don’t do it then they don’t have electronics. Have them do chores and earn money for a few things at least, some stuff we do just because it’s a family and needs to be done. . Take stuff away have them earn it back. If they know you will give in and clean up after them they will keep doing this. I hope he cleaned up they mess he made .( I would have gotten a huge spanking for this as a kid!!)

Take everything out there room other then a bed and dresser. You can also take the doors off if you like. Get the 8yr olds favorite item and use that to clean his mess up. Once they start cleaning up then you can reward the items taken away back
GOOD LUCK :muscle:t3:

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I had 8 children and usually it only took 1 spanking for them to know that they were to do what they were told to do this worked for me and I have the best kids in the world they know that they are loved and they will always be polite to you and others

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I hear you :sparkling_heart: my oldest has receptive language disorder (in addition to other nuerodivergent conditions) and he behaves similarly. So everyone saying things like “OH MY GODDDDD YOURE A MONSTER JUST FKING TALKKKK TO YOUR KIDS :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: “ don’t understand that you can talk talk talk and ask ask ask and explain the circumstances to your children all you want, but in cases of nuerodivergence like this poor women is facing right now, they simply won’t hear you.
They won’t care to listen to you.
You can’t ask small children like this to understand how dire those circumstances are. You can explain kindly sure, but until they’re in foster care in worse conditions with a foster mom who CAN beat them then they won’t think it can happen to them.
Personally, I have a system I found works in my house with my son who has also shit on things out of spite & I don’t ever lay a hand on him :woman_shrugging:t3:
I go through the motions of explaining why that’s not appropriate, ask them not to do it again and I’ll hold his hand while he cleans it up (yes, one handed) but this just ensures it gets done and he doesn’t get distracted :woman_shrugging:t3: I tell him how much I love him and how hard it can be to sometimes get everything in the toilet and I empathize (even though it’s a load of bs, Bc to me shitting in the toilet is easy, but to him it’s the most difficult thing ever) and if things like getting our poop where it needs to go is that much of a struggle, then everything else in life is gonna hit 10,000x harder. I would definitely start getting him in therapies and getting a paper trail going for his behaviors so he can get the professional help he needs :broken_heart: my DMs are always open if you need more tips & tricks(:

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If it was me, I would take away everything & anything they don’t need to live. They can have the basics: They will get food when it is time for food, they will have a bed to sleep in & bedding along with it, they will have cloths set out for them each day with no choice since they want to act the way they do. Basic boot camp rules. No TV, no games, no fun, no nothing. If they want to act a fool, they can either chose to sit in their rooms bored out of their gords, or they can help you clean the house & do basic chores. Make sure they have outside time to burn off energy. Make them go for a walk with you or ride bikes, etc (not sure what your physical capabilities are, so some of this may be restricted). They can start earning basic things back SLOWLY. It’s going to take a very very long time to get them back to behaving correctly, but I’m sure they will get there. It will likely be harder for you than it will be for them!!

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Take everything out of their rooms except their beds & clothes . If they can’t keep it clean then they don’t need anything .

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So 1. Therapy, they are more likely to talk to a therapist during play.
2. If they refused to clean I would have went in with garbage bags and put everything into garbage bags and said “earn it back by helping around the house.” Otherwise, deal with it.
3. the smearing poop, that kid would have stood in timeout until he decided to go clean it.

Sometimes you have to be really mean so they understand you’re not playing. No matter what don’t give in. If they loose electronics for days, so be it. My ex’s kids were wild to the point of almost being expelled from elementary school for throwing tantrums and destroying their classrooms. We had to get them into therapy and find creative punishment for their bad behaviors

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As someone else suggested. Bag everything ip and let them have 1 item at time as it is earned. Also, someone said maybe seperate them. Have nana take 1 and you the other and maybe swap on another day. Maybe do a fun activity after a couole small cleaning tasks are done like baking cookies or a small craft and have them assist inclean up ftom that as well. Help them learn that keeping a space neat and tidy can be fun and rewarding.

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I’ve gone through this myself (10 months worth) and I had also just divorced my abusive ex husband, physically and mentally of 10 year’s. My solution was to ignore their cry’s and wants. The tantrums can be hard to ignore trust me I know, I have 3 boy’s and it was very hard at first. But here’s the thing that you have to try to do, each time your child acts out, talks back or doesn’t do what they are told then you take a item something that’s their favorite. Of course it won’t work they’ll throw a tantrum then you take another item and ask them to stand in the corner or sit quietly in a chair away from TV or any other electronics. FYI you will still yet face another tantrum but you gotta stick with it and not give in by giving back the items that they like/love and would want. It can be a all day process but as long as you stick by it because you want them to know that you mean what you say then it’ll work. If you do this tho you have to keep the items to yourself until they deserve one item back at a time. Also talk to them about the anger on why they acted out for the begin with and ask them if it was worth the frustration and so on. Young one’s won’t know or truly understood the right answer so you have to explain it to them several times till they do before giving a item back. I have a 11, 6 and 4 year old. It took a lot of patience and work for myself but looking back I’m glad that I found that kind of patience within me

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Bag their crap up and they can earn it back they get a uniform and 1 “normal” outfit and pj’s thats it. When they do what’s asked they can earn their crap back. If they do something without being asked that’s big then they can earn something bigger than normal

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Hard to get back control after you lose it. First I would get his favorite article of clothing and use it to clean the bathroom wall.

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I hope you made him clean up his own poop. Do you give them specific instructions? My kids need to be told specifically what to do and I sit there and tell them what needs to be done and watch them. May need to be what you do

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Try a reward system instead of discipline… try a small allowance at the end of the week or everytime they do a chore…I have 4 kids and trust me it’s pulling teeth to get them to do anything but as soon as I put a price on something they get it done. Base your amount on the chore. Hope things work out :heart:

Your kids are in crisis too but letting discipline go out the window is even worse for them right now. Nana and the aunt need to come over with trash bags and you just need to take it all away. Anything of worth put in a separate bag and make them earn their right to have it back and throw the other crap out. I had a friend that had a foster child that threw brutal and ugly fits and you know what she did? She took that child to the bathroom put her in the shower and turned the cold water on her clothes and all and told her she couldn’t come out until she calmed down. It took two times doing this to get that kid straightened out. She’d just look at her and see “Do you need to cool down?” She never did it with malice nor did she do it when she was angry. That girl got control of her emotions on the second cold shower. She stopped hurting the other children in her care. As for the poop smearing? He will be required to clean that himself. If he doesn’t? Take his favorite shirt and clean it with that and throw it away. Make sure he sees you do it. You are in a full on battle with this situation. Love them hard but make sure there are severe consequences for bad behavior. Especially since spanking is off the table. Don’t let them see your anger and help them find ways to express their anger. Have them draw pictures showing how they feel and listen to them. These kids are begging to be heard and suffering from lack of balance in their life. Make sure you praise them and give them a lot of affection and reaffirm it’s their actions that upset you not them. The fact that you are having to enlist outside help (disabled or not) means they have established dominance. You have to take it back. They need mom to lead them now. I promise you that even though they don’t like you right now for it they will be so much better for it. Make sure you stay firm and don’t back down from bad behavior. They need lots of hands on parenting right now and most importantly they need love, structure and consistency. They could also benefit greatly from play therapy. See if there is a child advocacy center in your area and if you qualify. You got this! <3

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There is not going to be no social service or any body else tell me I can’t wipe my youngers u can wipe them thee right way u don’t have to beat them but ur boy needs his ass wipe that was uncalled for he will wash that wall when u wipe n get done hand him the phone n ask him if he wants to call social service

I support all of the suggestions to seek therapy, not only for them but for you too. Make sure each of you have separate counselors/therapists because having that private person to talk to helps.

My sons 1 on 1 therapist and our family therapist is the same person, and she told me to implement a “point system.” It works!

First to build your system write down tasks you want them to do. Then write down things they need to earn. The linchpin in this is that they have to earn everything except their basic necessities. From phones to TV time to things like reading and drawing.

Once you have the list of chores or behaviors you want to change ask each of them with separate lists what they would like to do better. For example if the first two tasks are mopping the floor and dusting the shelves ask your son what he’d like to do better, and mark that down, and then ask between the next two items which would be dusting and maybe picking up his toys, and so on and so forth until the list is done. Then do the same with your daughter (my son is 6 and this process worked for him), then when your done asking them separately ask them together would probably be the next best as to which chore they would prefer to do. Doing this, in this way will encourage them to follow it since they had a hand in setting it up. When kids feel included they are more likely to participate.

After that assign point values to each task for them to earn. Then assign point values to their rewards. Make sure to include behaviors that you want them to do. Also make sure those point values are easily attainable enough that they won’t be discouraged, but the total point value of the reward needs a little effort. Also set a big reward like candy or ice cream at the end of the week and add up all of the points daily and have a large point amount for the end of the week. That will encourage them to keep going through the week. :blush:

My son and I are survivors of domestic abuse too. Therapy has been a God send. This system has been a God send. You won’t have to use it forever, and you will be able to pull away that structure little bit by little bit, and they’ll start doing their tasks on their own.

Good luck Mama! We’re all cheering for you!:heart::smiley:

1,2,3 magic parenting method.

Someone shouldn’t have to tell you not to “physically discipline” your kids … that’s a given. If you are physically disabled enough to not he able to keep up with things, you should probably not be physically able enough to hit your children Violence will only cause them to act out more. You want respect from them, not submission out of fear. Are you taking into account what they went through during your abusive relationship? Sounds like some counseling for them and family counseling would be a great start. Also, check with your case worker to see if there are any programs that help disabled mothers keep up with life.

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Be blunt. Tell them if they don’t follow the rules they might have to go live somewhere else without you because DCFS will take them🤷‍♀️

I would get some help even if you have to pay a nanny/ cleaner or relative to help out. Don’t tell social services as they will use any excuse to take them into care.

They’re that old and acting like that?

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Your kids need counseling

Take everything out of their room besides bed and clothes

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Start whispering. It works. :revolving_hearts:

Something deeper is going on with your kids. Instead of always trying to yell and tell them what to do, sit down and talk to them. Actually talk and ask them if everything is ok, if there’s anything specific that’s upsetting them. Ask their feelings. They are doing this for a REASON. I know it can be very hard to handle sometimes, but they are still kids, and need love, attention . They need to feel like they mean something, & that their feelings are valid and not just being shut out bc they are kids. It takes a village. Always pointing out the bad things they do, or what they are not doing isnt going to help anything. It just makes it worse. Try positive reinforcement. I also suggest family therapy. You have all been through trauma and therapy will help you individually and as a family. I wish you all the best :heart:

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Also kids don’t have task management skills. '“Clean your room!”" doesn’t work as well as saying “could you please pick up all the small toys and put them here? Will you please pick up your stuffed animals and put them in their box?oh my! So many cars. Can we drive them all into their box?”

Unfortunately parenting is hands-on and takes effort and love and gentle guidance.

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They need therapy. Physically disciplining them is abuse. Go ahead and tell me otherwise but people who hit you and yell at you are not safe people especially if you depend on them for literally everything.

Kids have reasons for doing everything, and having an adult filter makes it hard to get on their level. They need connection and stability and these kids sounds like they are desperate need of both.

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Well sounds to me like they need an ass whoopin. I don’t give a damn who you are, don’t tell me how I can and can’t discipline my kids. That being out of the question for you though, I’d seriously consider family therapy. Sounds like they’re having a ptsd of sorts and it’s manifesting in the acting out. Keep talking with them, get on their level. Lots and lots of communication. Best of luck momma and good for you for getting out of that “situation”!

BOX IT ALL UP EXCEPT A SLEEPING BAG, PILLOW, AND A SET OF CLOTHES. They can eat bread and have water. That’s all that you legally have to provide them with on a technicality.
They’ll either shape up, or tell them you’ll send them to boot camp never to be seen again. No more friends, no more family, no more birthday parties.
When they start listening, and have a consistent good week, they can pick out ONE thing from the trash bags of their junk to have back. The moment they act out it goes right into the garbage never to be seen again.

Take the toys away ie: cell phones, Xbox, iPhone, iPad, Kindle,anything that is electronic or shut the internet off. Trust me that’ll get them

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Take everything out accept for beds

Why can’t you spank them if they need it ?

I’m sorry, I’ll be praying for you.

Have cps schedule family therapy

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TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY… make them EARN each thing back one by one.

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Yea you smack their ass.
It’s 100% legal.

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Whip that a$$ CPS/ DHS can have them that’s what I’d tell them. They shouldn’t have let the kids know that, they created monsters and they can deal with them. I’d bet $100 the won’t say sh*t they don’t want them I promise.but my oldest son caused me so much grief I have zero tolerance for bad kids like that. So there’s that :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Sounds like they don’t need anything in their rooms except a bed and dresser, no privileges until they can follow the rules! No electronics until they can follow rules and limit the electronic time

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Clean out the room completely except for furniture. They can earn stuff back as they help around the house with dishes, vacuuming, and such. Under the condition that it gets put away when done.

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Take everything away! They get nothing but a bed, blankets and a few sets of clothes. They have to earn it all back. No tv, no internet, no friends.

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The children are the ones that are missing out. Not having any punishment for the children is like you driving your car without steering it . It will not have a good ending . Swat some ass .

Hahaha tell that caseworker to pack a fucking bag and move in. You are the parent, nuff said

If you can get a storage unit and put most of their stuff in it, I’d do that. Leave them 5 outfits, each 3 plush toys, no electronics and unplug the TV. Have them keep up with cleaning to earn TV rights, and to earn a change of clothing or toy. Please don’t buy them anything while making them earn their stuff.

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You shouldn’t have to hit your children for them to listen. There is a deeper problem going on here. I would ask DES for therapy/counseling resources

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When mine trashed their rooms and refused to pick up I picked up and took it all to the garbage.they had nothing in their rooms except clothes.and furniture.I wont have to clean their rooms again.

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Sounds like you were relying on hitting your kids to make them do what you wanted. Can you ask the social worker about taking a parenting class? Or perhaps there is a local attachment parenting group who could support you in learning gentle discipline?

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Tell them whatever isn’t picked up by bed time is going on the trash, AND THROW IT AWAY or donate it.

From personal experience: physical punishments will trigger the trauma from domestic violence and teach them how to continue the cycle. Your children need trauma therapy and coping skills. Yes they are going to test you like crazy, their lives have changed and they don’t know how to cope. Ask the social worker for referrals to services and tell them how bad it’s gotten.

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Knock him off his feet for a start kids don’t learn unless they hurt one way or the other…this behaviour did it only start this year…if not u should have started when they were very young …If it just started now,Do as I said…Spare the Rod spoil the child…

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Therapy!! I am sure they were impacted by the DV situation as well. A parenting class might help with additional techniques.

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You have to think about the situation you just left the impact that domestic violence situation left on you is 10 times harder for those children those children watched you deal with it whether you chose to deal with it or whether you had no choice it has an outstanding impact on those children you as an adult have more of a mental capability to get past. Trauma these children have no idea where to start I’m not going to sit here and lie I do not have used my children I do not hit my children I have spanked my children when they were younger but I believe at a certain age spanking does not help anymore I have also been in a domestic violence situation and it seems as though every time I would think my children I would remember those thoughts I would remember what it feels like to be hit if I see my children hitting my grandchildren I will probably lose my damn mind therefore I stopped spanking them a long time ago to each their own every child compared it differently my daddy just had to look at me and I would straighten my madness up

Take all their toys away. If they want them back they can earn them back by doing chores around the house