My kids school is going against our wishes and letting my mom volunteer: Advice?

I live in Tennessee. We cut off contact with a very toxic and narcissistic mother 3 years ago. She is now trying to volunteer at my children’s public school to try and see them (which is completely against our wishes) is emailing the school finding out our children’s teachers signing up for things to be sent to her and bidding on classroom art. All this is extremely disturbing behavior to my spouse and I and the school has said they don’t want to be in the middle. Does the school have to respect our choice that this woman isn’t to be around our children? She has no rights to them by law. We tried an order of protection but weren’t granted due to her threats have never been violent all soley harassment. I feel like a public school should support us that this woman shouldn’t be allowed to volunteer at a school she has no child enrolled in just to see my children AGAINST parents wishes. This is an elementary school in Tennessee

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Not unless there is a restraining order. The school has zero grounds to not let your mom volunteer

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Not okay, I don’t care how desperate they are for volunteers. I would threaten the school with court actions, lawsuits, negative press, whatever. She hurts (emotionally or physically) or takes your kid(s) without permission, then that’s legal grounds against the school. They will be held accountable. They don’t have to get involved, JUST SAY NO TO THE VOLUNTEER, PERIOD! kids are safe, school is safe, parents are happy and it’s a win, win, win. Grandma can get right with herself.

Schools are desperate for volunteers in most areas. While I understand your view, I also understand why the school would not turn down a volunteer without a restraining order

This is happening in a grey area. The school has no legal reason to think she’s a danger to any of their students. You need to consult with a lawyer. Bring all of your documentation. Security camera video, communication between you, anything. Make a binder. Def have the lawyer send something to the school about releasing your children’s information. Also go in a check all of your children’s paperwork and make sure she’s hasn’t been added somewhere. If she has and you didn’t do it then you’ll have an issue with the school as well.Get with a lawyer and have a sit down meeting with the superintendent. I’d also see if you transfer schools. See what you can actually do outside of the school district to get her away from you and what the burden of proof is for a order for just the kids.

I bet when I was done with her she wouldn’t want to come near my kids I do not an will not play about my children

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I would switch schools. On all school registration papers you need to list that she can not be around them or pick them up/ see them.

Yeah that’s creepy. But the school probably doesn’t have any legal grounds to stand on about it.

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Public schools will do anything and everything without the parents consent. They don’t care. We pulled our kids out of public school for reasons similar to this…. You should meet with the school and if they are still going to allow her to participate I would be pulling my kids right out of there

You’re expectations are not really realistic tbh if you had legal papers it would be different but definitely unrealistic for a public school

If it were an estranged parent, the school would take action. Why not do the same for an estranged grandparent. Go to the school board.

Put the school on blast publicly. They know better!

Your contact information should be very firm…I made it very aware (in Canada) who has access to my kids and who don’t. Who they are allowed to leave with.

I get they need volunteers but they can’t put her in another classroom to volunteer?

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The school will not get in family disputes. As long as she doesn’t have a restraining order against her she can go where ever she wants. If she’s not a threat to children. Your family issues are just that, family issues.

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They do not have to do what you say. Go to court get a no contact order, then the school will have to abide by it. Talk to a cop about getting one.

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School is out of school, take them out and find another school if they don’t respect your rules

The school is out of line.

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Unfortunately I believe if it is a public event/school she would be allowed unless there is record, a pfa with her and your kids. I would express it to the school but legally I don’t think they can keep her away. I would say you can file for “stalking” bc that’s what she’s doing especially if she’s going out of her way to find out things about your kids.

Try a restraining order or switch schools

How is the school letting her find out info or signing up for things to be sent to her? I thought only parents can do all that?

I think school is out of line…but there is two sides to story…Go to superintendent or members of board… you could possibly get a lawyer so fr distress she may get the point

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Pull them get them homeschooled that way she won’t see them