My kindgergartener is hitting his classmates: Help?

I am having immense issues with my 4, almost five-year-old hitting other students in his kindergarten class. I’m overwhelmed, and dont know what to do. Some advice from other mothers would be greatly appriciated.


Maybe you need to go spend the day in his class and when he hits another child, you handle the situation then and there.


Do you spank your child? Maybe change the way you discipline. Encourage using your words over hitting.


Explain to him that hitting is not nice and it hurts others… I’m sure it’s a short lived issue.

How do you correct hitting at home? How does the teacher handle it during class? You both should agree on the same discipline, consistency helps yield results.

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My advice isn’t accepted by today’s sensitive world. Time for a trip behind the woodshed. Teach him that hitting hurts


I guess the best question is why is he hitting? Is he hitting when he’s angry or frustrated? Is it during play and he doesn’t understand he’s hurting his friends? Have you witnessed it happen? There’s so many factors here…look up conscious discipline :heart:


Make Feelin jars and teach him about feelings and how actions can hurt! There’s a great YouTube channel called wondergrove. Hit yourself and make a sad face for that connection. Often times kids hit cause they can’t express with words.

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theres a book on almost any behavior for this age
try any one of these for instance

Did he test into kindergarten? I’m asking because as a 4 year old in October I’m wondering why he started Kindergarten so early. It probably has something to do with the behavior. I’m a preschool/prek teacher and when kids are moved up to fast for their social emotional development they act out. That’s honestly my best guess. Or he could be becoming frustrated with the work he is doing and its causing the acting out.


Encourage talking through feelings. Why did u hit ? What were u feeling?? Then once he recognizes the emotions and what causes them. U can teach him ways to calm himself down. Deep breathes, hit a pillow, maybe give him something he can hug or play with that has tactile comfort. Like a sensory ball. And then repeat. Itll rake time to learn. Make sure teachers are using the same techniques. And then if he hits, consequences. U hit, then no show or dessert. Then follow through

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I’m going to the same thing with my son right now in almost all device in these comments are other f****** crap.

talk to your teacher go to your doctor get in touch with your doctors pediatric counselor work with them. don’t take advice from f****** pathetic strangers online that think that they are higher than everyone else

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They need to see the connection and how our actions make others feel.

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talk to the teachers/principals… having similar issues with my kindergartener… she is fine at home mostly or I can see when she is getting frustrated, so I can help her work through her feelings, but its hard when you aren’t with them. They have school counselors, outside counselors that come to school… our school has been an amazing resource and her teachers/principals/counselors have all been so patient and understanding to work with us. Huge stress relief.

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Too young and may not be emotionally reafy. Pull him out and wait until next year.


Why is your 4 year old in kindergarten?


I had this issue when my little one started preK last year.

we started a good behavior chart at home and at his school with the same reward/punishment and worked to get him on a consistent schedule at home and it really helped!

get on to him when he does wrong (go to a 7) but praise him when he does better (go to a 10)

when you start celebrating good behavior with more intensity than punishment for bad he will be more motivated to have good behavior

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Sounds like he is overwhelmed too. Good God woman 4 yr olds aren’t ready emotionally or behaviorally to be around a herd of kids let alone all the rules to follow in school.


I know it’s wrong to hit others but make sure he’s not being provoked.
My kid typically won’t hit unless someone is mean to him first.

Tell him ouch at home & if he thinks it hurts you he may stop. It can be a hard habit to break.

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Wait why does my kid have to wait till he’s almost 6 to go to kindergarten?!

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Start a baby fight club


Well. While I was in the midst of working on this with my now 7yo when he was 4/5, my 10yo (then 8yo) lost all patience when his lil bro hit him in the face and his nail scratched big brothers eye. My oldest who is so sweet and soft had a moment and pinned his brother down :woman_facepalming: he moved so fast it scared my younger son, never hurt him, just scared this shit out of him. He left ppl alone after that but I was concerned they’d be boxing every day :woman_facepalming::tired_face: no, he just needed his ass kicked :woman_facepalming: I don’t advocate letting ur kids work it out but that’s how it happened here :tired_face: and def won’t always work, had it been the other way around, I’m not sure it would’ve worked the same.

It’s cause they are so little and processing emotions are hard and overwhelming. It’s a phase and unfortunately if your not there to correct the behavior it gets tricky…that being said. Reward the good behavior with a sticker chart and the good days give a prize after a week

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Smack his hand or butt .once he gets that it hurts ,he,ll stop doing it.


My son was violent at age 3 up until kindergarten where we figured out he was adhd. After a few weeks of being on the medicine he told me his brain wasn’t broken anymore.

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Wanna know why we have out of control kids… Look at the parents who wanna negotiate with children. Here’s your answer. Some things warrant discussion some things warrant hands on discipline. If you cause physical pain to another child you’re going to feel what you gave.


As a parent whose ex husband thought putting my son into kindergarten at 4 was a great idea…hes probably just not ready. My son got through but in 2nd grade he wasn’t emotionally ready (for K at 4 as far as I was concerned) and we ended up keeping him in 2nd grade for another year to be with other children his age and he did great. I think it would have been better to just keep him home for another year but his father wasn’t having that.

Too young. He’s overwhelmed. Kids are older and bigger than him. No way would my kid be in k at that age. Talk and teach.

That’s every parent’s best dream.

Wether he’s being provoked or not, it’s wrong to hit. Possibly learning it from someone, reacting In ways someone reacts towards him?
I don’t think 4 almost 5 is too early to be in school, that’s when their little minds are best to learn the things they learn in kindergarten, unless he has mental problems then that would be different.
Punish him for his hitting every time he does it, and of course tell him it’s wrong. If nothing improves maybe a Dr will be able to help you.

I was having the same problem with my almost 2 years of in his daycare class turns out the little girl was punching him a lot so he would punch her make sure the other kids are not pinching or hitting him first and instead of crying he is defending himself

You can’t punish a 4 year old (or any kindergartener for that matter) hours later, because they are incapable of connecting the two. The teacher needs to be correcting the behaviour as it happens. If he is hitting at home, then teaching him other outlets, like counting to 10, stomping his feet, etc to get his frustration out would carry over at school. You should find out what is provoking the impulse to hit in the first place though by either talking to him about it or sitting in class.

Reward for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior that how life is.

I had this happen last year with my daughter she was 5 at the time so they eventually realized she was overwhelmed and overstimulated and put her in a special ed class just bc its smaller and shortened her days. It helped her alot and this year shes still in that classroom but keeps spending more and more time in her regular classroom and even got longer days. Maybe hes overwhelmed or overstimulated

Why does he do that?? Does he hit u? Does he get away with it?, if he does, I think that’s why he hits others

Having a good relationship with children is so rewarding and effective. I used to be quick to yell or spank my kid but once I learned to grow up and realised he’s just a kid exploring, experiencing and learning, we talk more and he respects me so much more. I feel like he feels respected which he deserves! My kid hit a couple kids in the beginning of school year and we talked about it and how he wouldn’t appreciate it. Now he’s good. I mean, he had his moments. Unfortunately he threw a pumpkin in class today. Not cool but he recognizes that if a pumpkin flying threw the air hit him, it would hurt!!! Kids will test and be naughty sometimes! My kid is better than I was :joy:

I think it’s a stage of development they go through. Do tell him no and its not on and he won’t have friends if he does it. And tell him you’ll take away toys, etc if he does it again. I made my 5 year old boy write an apology card to the boy he hit and told him he will go to the principal threatened to take away his favourite things and spoke with his teacher in front of him about it. Then told him that would all happen again which he hasn’t risked! When my 4 year old hits out at us during tantrums I say firmly no and its not nice to hurt the people who love you, but also keeping in mind its just a stage they go through and will grow out of it!

Is there some sort of pattern. Like same kid? Certain part of the day? You are doing a good job mama, hes gonna turn out fine. Find out what the teachers are doing to correct the behavior right there and maybe try to reward later at home for good behavior

I had a meeting with the teacher and my son to find out what happened and whatnot then while my son was there he was reminded of what he did so we could figure out how the teacher and myself would go forward to curb his behavior. Also I asked my son why did you do this once he was reminded of what he did. His Dad had an awful temper so it was important to teach my Son ‘control’. Once my son knew teacher and I were on the same page he stopped.

I had the same happen with my oldest, it was to the point he was close to getting kicked out of Kindergarten, I rushed ordered this book and exaggerated the “OUCH” while reading it, he was also a biter so I ordered Teeth are not for Biting , worked for me :blush:

Have you talked to the teacher about a reason for his aggressive behavior? Maybe he is being bullied. My daughter is displaying very aggressive behavior because of a sensory deficit and lashes out when she gets overwhelmed in the busy classroom environment.

How about punish him for his bad behavior. A time out or so forth never hurt anyone. Teachers dont have to raise and teach your children. God almighty parents these days!

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My daughter would pull hair and it was because she just liked hair but it would hurt the other children. The teacher would remove the other children from the situation but it my daughter. I told the teachers that they needed to remove my daughter from the situation. Meaning every time she would pull she would be put in time out (bed) at the daycare. After they removed her from the situation and not the other children she stopped. They have to know they are doing something wrong to stop the behavior.

It’s a long shot but I would just have a good talk about Empathy and how he would feel if it was him getting hit. Look into slumberkins it’s a company that has books and little lovys that go with the books that talk about emotions and how to deal with them.

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Game cameras are extremely cheap.HAVE YOUR CHILD HELP YOU MOUNT ONE WHERE HE IS THE FOCUS OF THE CAMERA. Usually knowing they are constantly being filmed prevents the act.

Make him write a apology note to the child and another note to the parent of child…