My MIL constantly asks for money from us: How do I approach my husband about this?

He needs to take some advice from “Nancy Reagan”, her Motto was, “Just Say No”!!!

Obviously someone isn’t ready to let go of the boob and doesn’t care about his family or anything else I would be saying see ya later pack up me and the kids and go and not look back

Set her up with a budget. Then tell her she gets x amount a month and no more. Otherwise you are enabling her to be irresponsible .

His wife comes first when he marries.

I would act like I wanted something expensive and throw a fit cause he spent all his money on mom. kidding. :rofl: Maybe you can spend the money first or take it out of the bank and be like oh must of spent it all.

Ok. One she’s married & why is her husband not helping her out w bills & money. Huge red flag right there. Have a conversation w her husband soon. Since he’s the only one working. If u get a job, you guys cut his mother off financially. & in the future if anyone asks for money. You guys discuss it first. Period. I would also start to take over paying all the bills, get the checkbook from hubby. That way u can track spending. & if u guys do come to an arrangement about cutting his mother off. If he were to try & sneak money to her. U can nip that in the bud real quick. The two of you aren’t financially responsible for her. She is married. She has a husband that can & should help. You’re husband needs to start saying no

Sounds like slme of you women expect to be living of your children one day. What a shame! If she is absolutely desperate and has exhausted all options, by all means help her. Otherwise, she’s a leech who just keeps on draining the blood from your family. She’s not a bill you need to pay and she’s not your children, who you ARE responsible for. Hell my mother lives with me and asks nothing of me. I offer and do for her constantly at my own will but she does not ask for anything.

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Wow…I’d seriously be watching her. Yes shes the grandmother of your children but theres a limit to child care. If paying her to look after the kids is what she wants respect it as shes not a day care then tell your partner not to give her cash later when she asks for more as the sitting money should be enough. Make her work for it and make a point to your hubby as you have a family to support and your not there to support her bad habits. Yes she is his mother but sounds like shes is using him as a bank account for her bad habits, unconventional wants and minor needs.

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I have one of those
Stop enabling her!
She will lose her mind get all kinds of mad but you have kids to feed and take care of
Their future is more important!

Talk to him, tell him you’re at risk of falling behind again. Really it just takes for him to say no one time…BUTTTT… Be prepared for the world to fall apart. It happened to me, be prepared to be called selfish, and to be told that you guys don’t love her and all these other horrible things. But if it’s putting you guys in a bind she needs to be told no. Also, maybe instead of just telling about these services to help her, maybe she would follow through if he or you took the time to call or make appointments for her.

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I think someone needs to sit down and have a real talk with his mother. I don’t see an issue with paying her if she needs it while watching the kids. Maybe someone can sit with her and get her signed up for the programs that can offer assistance

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Your family needs to come first. Sounds like he is enabling her to continue depending on him. My mom would never ask me for money because she knows we struggle. Maybe she doesn’t realize her selfishness and you need to let her know that you just don’t have it. Especially if she uses it for stupid stuff.

This sounds exactly like my mother in law! I finally just put my foot down and told him, he can either take care of the family he created or his mom. If she truly needed it sometimes I didn’t care to help, but if she wasn’t going to be responsible then we weren’t helping her.

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My mother in law does the same. Will come to my home and be like do you need this? Or will raid all my teas and just take them after picking through them. It sounds stupid that that aggravated me but it’s like come on lady. My husband stays at home with my daughter and I’m the only one that works and we just purchased a house so shit gets expensive. She’s made jokes about us getting her a new tv when her ex (his father) gave us a check when we got our home as a housewarming gift. She’s bitched about not having groceries or money for them or how the cable is going to get shut off. Long story short, we bought the house in October of last year and I fought every day with my husband until Christmas. I was not budging no matter how many arguments we had. She has the same issue, complains about no funds for groceries but lets her boyfriend get a motorcycle and a $500 generator for their apartment because he thinks it’s the end of the world :upside_down_face: my husband after MANY arguments now understands that we aren’t responsible for her and can’t let her words make us feel guilty especially after witnessing her irresponsible actions. It’s going to suck fighting with him but after a while he will see your frustrations. Best of luck mama :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Tell him that what he is doing is hurting the family he created. If he keeps helping her your not going to be able to afford the needs and bills for your household. Don’t help those that can’t help themselves. They will just drag you down with them.

Make a spread sheet with all of your bills… his income … then go through and put how much he has lent/bought or given to your MIL and see if that helps him understand… men don’t always see the total like we do they just see it as helping

She’s a leech and will bleed you dry. You husband is a mamas boy .

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When she asks if “she’s getting paid”. Politely answer, we will just take it off what you owe us.

She’s toxic. If he doesn’t explain things to her, then you do it. She is not next of kin, you and the kids are. He needs to realize he is not his mother’s keeper.

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