I love my MIL but she’s made some comments that are literally on my last nerve. She’s been frequently making comments whenever my 3 and 6 year old act up when I show up, and say “it’s because mommy’s here” and I so want to just say “it’s because they feel comfortable with mommy and that’s why” but I want to say it in a way where it comes off innocently. Advice?
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I really wouldn’t let it bother you. I know this is a true fact for my son. It’s normal on both sides. For it to be that way and for them to comment about it.
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Don’t let it bother you, I know it’s easier said than done in the moment but stand secure in your decisions & role as the childrens mom and learn to be unbothered by her opinions and remarks.
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Pull them away. My kids will never see these behaviors and I remain oblivious. If you see your saying certain things, limit the time your babies are around them. They’ll come around.
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I get told that all the time by every one I don’t let it bother me cos I know it’s true my son does act differently when I’m around sometimes
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I ain’t afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings. My kids are my kids & I am their voice. Say it exactly like that.
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Well it probably is because you are there now. Everything is not a battle. I tell my grand kids the same thing.
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I mean it’s technically true, they are acting up when you are there. If they are actually acting up at all really. Idk if it’s worth getting into it over that comment. I feel like lots of grandparents says that. But if it really annoys you then say that. I don’t think it will do anything really.
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It’s true. That’s what kids do. I have no idea why. Don’t take it personally.
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Talk to the baby. “Cause you love mommy so much huh my baby:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:” 
that’s what I’d do. Lol maybe not that exact thing but something similar
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Uhhh just be an adult and tell her you don’t like it and they are your kids. Or tell your husband to tell her. It’s not that complicated to have a healthy and open relationship. My in laws do stuff I don’t like. A lot I let go but if it is a hard pass, I let them know. Not rocket science.
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Be informative, ‘oh! I read an article that says that!..’ and basically say just that, kids ARE worse with mom, and say you don’t mind it 
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That’s a saying a lot of people use. I wouldn’t take it personally 
Older people don’t sugar coat things. She’s from a different generation. Thicken your skin a little all she said was a fact she just didn’t say it the way u wanted her to. She’s your elder and deserves respect. It’s not like she said something extremely inappropriate.
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You should talk to her about what she means by that. Like I know if I said it I’d be meaning it exactly how you just said.
Block her out the stress of that and the disrespect to your kids if they can hear her or not isnt okay
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What kinda behavior are we talking about?
They’re 3 and 6. They’re not toy dolls. They get excited and have bad days too.
So, provided they aren’t acting violent or super insane… Tell her exactly that.
And show her the data from child psychologists to back it up. 
If she doesn’t stop, put your foot down.
Frankly, your hubs should be shutting her up. If he can’t or won’t, you stand up to her. 
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I have a condescending mother, so comments like this irk me ! Mine also says things like “I’m not your mother, you won’t get away with that with me” etc 
It’s infuriating. But, something innocent in front of the babes then pull her aside and tell her it bothers you. Wether people like to admit it or not, our kids hang onto more then we think and if it’s a behaviour the mother in law continues, the comments could get worse, and your children will be listening !
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I always noticed my grandbabies would be happy all day with me.
And when their mother showed up to take them home, they sometimes cried a little. I always assumed they somehow knew how long their mum.had been gone.
I looked after them 3 days a week from infancy till mid teens.
It is NOT personal to any adult. It is recognition.
I don’t understand why you are so bent out of shape? We all know kids act up around the parent way worse then others because they are most comfortable with us. It’s literally the truth. If your kids just spent time with her and had no issues and then you show up and they start showing their buts then what she is saying is actually not a bad thing. The children are not going to be harmed by the simple fact that a family member is basically pointing out the bad behavior that’s only happening in the presence of mom. Pretty sure she already knows “it’s because they are most comfortable with you” but that’s not an excuse. Respect and manners should be shown in & out of a parents care. think you are over reacting 100% and shouldc have her back and tell the kids to knock off thv
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Is she babysitting for free…tell her you would appreciate it if she would keep those kinds of comments to herself. Quit taking them over there.
So…you want to repeat exactly what she said?
Ugh! Just tell her. People need to stop sugarcoating these comments. 
shouldve been like no its because you’re here lmao jk
It’s true be they’re more secure around mom and dad. If you have something to say just say it. Remember tone and delivery are important.
I read something once, can’t remember word for word but basically it said children are worse with their moms because we are their safe place. They know that no matter what, thru the good or bad we aren’t going anywhere. And that works for me, I want to be their safe space, I want them to know that no matter what mamas got you always. I tell my kids they can act however with me cause I know how to handle them and when enough is enough but when they walk out the front door they better act like I raised them with sense and manners.
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It’s a known fact that kids act up more when they’re with their parents. Because you’re right, they are more comfortable with you. Idk how much nicer it can be said. My 4 and 5 year old are same way. Behave for everyone else except us parents.
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Young children struggle in that situation because they aren’t sure who is actually in charge. I had a daycare for 38 years and experienced this issue frequently. I handled it by saying , when mommy comes and we are still in the daycare we still follow Miss Brenda’s rules. When you leave with mommy you follow mommy’s rules. It was very simple and alleviated the problem 99% of the time.
My husband used to acknowledge this fact, too.
I’d come home from work and see my daughter in the window. She’d be laughing with joy and in the same breath start bawling. He’d say “I know understand what her problem is. She was fine all day until she saw you.”
You’re their emotional dumpster. It is what it is.
You are your child’s safe space♥️ they’re likely navigating a day of bottled up emotions they weren’t sure how to process.
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Girl, go on and say something.
Don’t be " innocent " about anything. She’s literally saying your kids are acting up bc you’re around them. Just tell her " ya know, kids feel safest around their mother. So they feel comfortable letting their anger, frustrations and crazies out when their around. If they’re " perfect " with just you around, it’s usually bc they’re not comfortable "
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I say this about my own kids 
they are angels for everyone until I show up lol
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I wouldn’t take offense to it I tell my husband that everytime he comes from work! Me and the kids will have an amazing day and soon as my husband comes home they’re arguing and fighting an cutting up!!!
Also, when I’m at my mother in loves house and my youngest cuts up she’s be like “that’s your baby right” I don’t take offense cause it’s true 
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Except it’s the truth. You need to calm down and get over yourself.
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Tell her that ‘yes, I read that too! Kids are so much worse for their Mom. Scientific fact!’
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Your husband needs to talk to her. His mother, he must address it.
I don’t think she meant anything bad by it. You want your kids to be better for others then they are with you. Imagine them going to school and acting out with no problem. Kids are always better with other people. I say it to my kids too because it’s the truth. She’s not saying anything wrong. My Mom said it to me too. Kids are smart, they know what they can get away with with their parents. They don’t necessarily know what they can get away with with Nanna.
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To me, it doesn’t matter who anyone is, where they fit in the family tree if they got something to say then they can have ears to hear the true response. It took me awhile to figure this out but u can’t always walk on egg shells for someone to keep the peace. At some point they dont deserve kindness… especially when it comes to your kids. Once someone loses the respect they don’t get it back.
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tell her kids will bottle up their emotions around people they aren’t completely comfortable with until someone safe like mommy comes to the rescue. That’ll shut her up!
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F that. Tell her to knock it the F off!!! My mil actually talked bad about me to my kids before…she didn’t see them for years the kids loyalty will always be with mom so idk where these people get their thinking from 
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Children act differently with their parents vs others. Let it go…it’s not that deep.
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Stop worrying about how to say something, she obviously isn’t thinking twice or showing any tactfulness in her comments.
There’s nothing offensive in your response, say how you feel, they’re your children.
Who cares…let it go. Remember no response is a response.
Just tell her that you don’t appreciate those comments and she needs to knock it off.
Just get over it no need to be dramatic
Think what she saying is they were well behaved for her as soon as you show up they start acting up
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My lord get some tough skin lady .Not all mother in laws are evil 
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Why would you be upset over “you’ve been so good with me” comments? So what if she compliments the kids? As women we ALL know our kids behave better for others than mom. Does your husband do this to your mom? If not, knock it off!
Just speak your mind. No need to sugar coat stuff.
I would just smile and say mummy is their safe place just like nannie/ grandma is when mummy’s not there
I Always told my children to raise your children so that no one will have a problem taking them in.
She’s actually complimenting the kids on their good behavior when mommy wasn’t there. Why is everyone so sensitive nowadays, surely the MIL is entitled to make a comment if she has been babysitting
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my kids act a certain way with me cuz I don’t put up with them acting up… the they act a certain way with mom because she is more lenient so the act up a bit more then when it comes to Nanna they get what the want so they act up even more cuz they can
Kids always act worse for their mothers for that exact reason. Everyone knows that by now. We’ve all seen those posts. Probably her included.
She was pointing out the obvious and so are you.
The question is would you be so offended if YOUR mom said that? Probably not. Mine did all the time.
“He was an angel all day then you walked in 
”
I replied with “I know right!? Crazy”
Everyone has a cell phone. Txt her if u don’t want to say anything in front of ur kids or family.
Let her know that those comments are not necessary and she is a good grandma but the comments need to stop cuz they make you feel bad or whatever ur feeling. Make it more about u and she is probably gna be embarrassed but this is when you have to decide if your feelings about this are more important then hurting her feelings in the moment
Because kids always act up more with their parents. It’s a known fact. Tf are you so butthurt for? Cuz she told the truth? Good lord. 