I being the Grandma understand where they come from . However it is important for your little family have your own traditions the time to start them is now. I would suggest getting all parties together and find a compromise. When my kids started having kids I took my self out of the equation so they could have family time. Weather it be his side just them or what ever. I still deliver presents and watch my littles faces light up when they see the wonders Grandma brought…there’s room for all just figure out what works.
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Point it out to your husband that he agreed to it and that he is married to you not his momma and to remember his wedding vows
We alternate get togethers between Christmas and Boxing Day each year and then alternating between houses. Some years it’s a get together on Boxing Day at our house, next year it’s Christmas dinner at theirs, etc. Is there a way to compromise so each can have something special? Having three boys I know one day I will miss them immensely when they start to have their own families and I can only hope I have a daughter-in-law that includes me in someway that I don’t feel alone, neglected or left out.
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You handle it with compromise.
You make a decent attempt to see things from the other person’s perspective. Because right now you only see it from yours and even that is kind of just excuses.
I have two kids…6 and 2. They have special needs. They’re a HANDFUL. My 6 year old is just as bad or worse than the 2 year old. But I wouldn’t change the holidays. Spending time with family is an important part of that. Going to their house means we can leave when we want/need to.
The thing about traditions is they can grow and change. Maybe spend christmas eve and christmas morning at home. There are plenty of traditions you can create for your own little family that won’t make you throw out other traditions.
As far as your husband goes…he probably didn’t agree with you months ago but thought you’d forget or change your mind. The way you’re talking…it has to be your way or no way with little consideration for the others feelings.
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I remember those days…wish I had stood up then and said enough. My ex’s grandparents on his mom’s side an hour north Christmas eve. Christmas morning was a blur opening presents getting dressed and to the ex’s parents by 10am. Kids crying because they wanted to play with their new toys but nope gotta go to Grandma’s…then leaving there at 2 to drive an hour south to spend the afternoon evening with his father’s parents…kids are cranky and tired by time we got home and Christmas was just a cluster.
I’ve dealt with this situation before and I stuck to my guns. I told my in-laws as well as my family if they wished to see us they were welcome to come over for a short time but we were not going anywhere. They grumbled and there were lots of statements made to me and about me but I ignored them. We started our own traditions and couldn’t be happier.
Tell family they can come to your house if they want to see y’all. That’s what we started doing
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I dont understand why they dont come visit you…
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You live close to the grandparents - they can stop by on Xmas if they like
We have lots of parents and grandparents.always stressful so this year we decided to take kids to cabin no in-laws
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We do hubby’s family the Saturday before xmas,xmas day at home with just kids and my family xmas 2 weeks after xmas. We all thought this was a good idea. If they are really hurt about it cant they come to your house for a couple hours.
do what you wanna do!!! they’re being selfish an they’re mad i agree i don’t wanna be driving around to see anyone my daughters nearest grand parents an even her dad is a 3 hour car ride away then my parents are a 2hour car ride after the 3 hour one that’s 5 hours ONE WAY FUCK all that gas all that traffic all that risk of a wreck i’m not doing that but if they wanna come down here that’s fine i don’t mind but i see where you’re coming from please don’t let them being mad stop you from being happy an stress free you should be enjoying the holidays an your children instead of saying god i hate this shit you know ?
Talking about how it’s important to spend time with your family but in the same breath talking about how you don’t want to spend time with family.
Stay home, it’s not just about them. If hubby can’t cut the cord tell him go see them alone. Why is it a hardship for them to visit you? It was this way with my in-laws. Had to be their house. Never got there early enough.
You should be able to do what you want, but if you do concede to their wishes, maybe make it Christmas Eve or during the weekend before or after Christmas to go over for a couple of hours. That would be a compromise for both parties involved.
God no. Do what’s best for you and no one else. I hear you on that!! Stand your ground they need to realize it’s NOT about them at all
Compromise spend Christmas eve with them and home with kids on christmas. You waited right before Christmas to say something which was wrong. They should have been told last year when yall decided
As well so maybe they didn’t make plans including yall. I still as a adult and with kids am pulled in so many ways for holidays. Thankfully my SO family does it a week before. I still spend my eve with my dad and Christmas with my kid’s, mom and the rest of family. We have been talking about this being the last year we go anywhere on Christmas day. Of course I will let them know asap so they can make ou ther plans that don’t include us.
Christmas is for the kids … let them stay home and enjoy their Christmas!!! If your husband is going to throw you under the bus like that then you need to have a serious conversation with him. That was totally unfair. Have the grandparents come to your house if they want to be part of it that bad!!!
Offer to have them come see you. She has obviously had to balance everything with in laws & her own parents at one time. You live in the same town so should be pretty easy.
When. I had kids I explained that I wanted my kids to remember our family Christmas. We had open door policy. If you want to come that’s fine if you have other things that’s fine too but Christmas day was at my house for my family. Spend Christmas Eve with the in-laws, but Christmas morning and dinner at yours. Stand your ground.
This is something I always want to… the best thing this year hubbys family planned theirs on the 22nd …and my family the 29th… now Christmas day is ours. Try getting them to do something like that so you can have the best of both worlds or invite the parents to come to your house in christmas day. Make it your own thing like PJ xmas lol
Tell everyone to come to your house! If they want to see the kids let them come over! See how big of a deal it is then
Have them come to your house. And if this can break your marriage, you’re better off alone👍
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Compromise is key…do the weekend before with your family the weekend after with his and then your home xmas eve and xmas with your kids alone …everyone gets some time
Tell them you’re staying home and they are more than welcome to visit. 
And your husband should get a slap in the head for not supporting you and throwing you under. I’d be kissed especially since he agreed!!!
Lol I would tell husband and in-laws to kick rock 
. My kids are staying at my house to spend the holidays with me. Your husband wants to go to his parents? See ya, bye. But I’m keeping the kids home with me. Toodles 
Do NOT let them bully you into doing something with yours kids that you don’t want to do. You are mom and if your husband can’t support you & your decision, he needs to go too. Lol. If it really hurts their feelings that bad, that says more about them than you.
ETA: ESPECIALLY if you aren’t even spending it with your own family. Why is his family special, simple. They’re not.
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This is my life…every single year. I feel ya. For the past 18 years I’ve had issues with trying to make sure everyone happy. I finally came to the conclusion that we start our own traditions. We have small children as well. The door will be open on Christmas day, it’s up to you to come see us.
Tell them if they want to spend it with you they are welcome to come to your house but you are done running around everywhere
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Stay home with your kids.
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I love that she felt the need to parenthesize that their parents were the kids grandparents 
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I think you have every right to start making your own holiday traditions. It is easier for just 2 ppl to get around & see everyone as your family grows. Do what is going to make you happy. If momma ain’t happy no one is happy lol I hope everything turns out the Happiest for you & the kids!
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Your husband should always back you (and you him) in public and deal with any disagreements privately!
We’re going away for these holidays and none of our families are overjoyed, it they understand. It’s so much running around seeing every one and we just want to enjoy our kids (4yo and 2yo) we’ll see family before we go! And spend next Xmas with them. You definitely need to remind him of your conversation from months ago and ask why he agreed then. Family pressure sucks but you should still be able have enjoy the holidays how you want to
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I’m gonna say the same that many others have said: they should come to you. The is zero reason to have to drag you and your babies all over the place for a holiday when they could all come your way. Everyone would have so much more time together that way
Invite em over so u don’t have to travel. Or see one family Christmas Eve, and other Christmas day or day after. Most importantly, do what u all want to do, not what u feel like I have to do.
I’m right there with you every single year. There is no winning this war and someone will always be mad. But you have to make sure your 4 walls are happy and taken care of first. 
and that’s what my husband and I decided this year. Everyone can come to our house because we aren’t running around. 
Put your foot down and do holiday’s at your house for a year!!!
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Just host Christmas at your house 🤷. If your family is anything like mine, you all gather at one place per family and have dinner, open gifts, etc. Tell everyone you’d like to start having Christmas at your house. That way, you don’t have to drag the kids around. If you all live in the same town, I would think its the easiest solution.
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Well I started doing this as well and some were bad but this is something that I wanted to do I feel like if they want to see the kids then why can’t they come to your house
Stay in your pjs and dont get the kids ready. THIS YEAR! F EM! lol
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I had a similar issue before and we did Christmas eve with my then in laws and christmas at home… that was our compromise
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Go out of town for Christmas maybe a cruise ship that would be a great tradition
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I did that for yrs to appease my husband’s family… enough already I finally decided to stand my ground…so long story short he spent most holidays with his family an I with mine. So 16 yrs later it all came to a screeching halt, we divorced not entirely due to the “family” situation but for other reasons. I suggest you stand your ground tho…tell everyone concerned to piss off. As for hubby it’s actually his choice to do the right thing an not be such a sniveling, snot sucking punk…
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If they want to see the kids they can come to you after you’re done with Xmas morning.
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Don’t do it. Stand your ground. He can go if he wants to. You and the kids stay home.
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I feel the same way you do but my husband is adamant on the kids seeing their grandparents…
I compromised and now we do our own thing in the morning and then towards the afternoon we take our kids to the grandparents but only for like 2-3 hours so that We can come home and continue our own Xmas.
I hate holidays with my family but I force myself to engage with them for the kiddos.
And even my kids after like 2 hours start asking “when are we going home?”
I find that 2 hours is a good amount of visiting time. After 2 hours I start to become irritated and annoyed with the family’s behavior.
Maybe limit your time at your parents houses . Plan something after your visits so you HAVE to leave. “Sorry we have more plans”
Why cant you do stuff at home in the morning and see family in the afternoon. I loved.visiting my grandparents as a kid on Christmas…
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We dont go anywhere on Christmas or really have anyone over… 1 gma lives with us and the other stops by for a little bit (then makes her rounds to other kids/grandkids) I order chinese and just relax.my hubs doesnt get much time off so we cherish our time together.
I had to do this with my husbands family. I live an hour or more away from them, but I’m the one that has to drive out there with two kids when they want to visit. I finally put my foot down and told my husband we’re not doing it anymore. His family can make the drive. Stand your ground, momma. They can come to you sometimes.
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This is exactly what I went through when my twins were toddlers. Do what is best for your family. My children love being able to spend time at home on Christmas Day. Your well being matters more than what they think of you.
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Come up with a compromise with your husband! Even inviting both sides of family over Christmas Eve to celebrate at your place. Make it a secret Santa; everyone brings a gift under $20. Then you have Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day with just hubby and kids. Your husband shouldn’t be throwing you under the bus as one. That’s not fair!
What do your kids want to do? Do they wanna spend it with everyone or just you? Maybe invite them to your place instead. Or dinner there and morning at home. Compromise.
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I’d tell them this Is what your doing for the holidays , and maybe make it an option for them to come to you. Because that’s atleast my problem with the holidays. Tired of going to everyone else.
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Small Christmas dinner early Christmas Eve with his parents and yours
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If stay home with my kids
Don’t know all your circumstances and while seeing my children and grandchildren on holidays is important to me, I sympathize with you. I would offer a couple of suggestions that may or may not be something that works for you. 1. Have Christmas eve gathering with his and your parents and Christmas at home. 2. Have a Christmas gathering at your home a lot more work for you though. 3, Have a Family gathering the weekend before or after Christmas. Parents and Grandparents are very important and neither of you will have them forever and when they are gone you will wish that you had spent more time with them, but you need to have some space as well, your children will not be little forever. I wish you the very best in resolving this delimia it’s one that many parents face. Try not to let it become an arguement, try and get your husband to sit down with you explain and asked how you together can resolve this and present a United front to both your parents.
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Parents and grandparents are only around for so long. Christmas is a very long day I’m sure you could make time for them throughout the day for a few hours after you do whatever you want to do with your kids
Its Christmas they all can come over to y’all’s house. At the end of the day your the parent don’t give in stand your ground.
Have them over for xmas eve and let them know they need to bring prepared food ! Then you can have xmas day with fam only
I personally love spending time with our huge family for the holidays and traveling but I have one child plus my in laws live across from us so I can’t relate but why not do something with your kids in the morning then host Christmas at your house so you don’t have to go drag the kids around!!
Christmas isn’t about me. It’s about being with family and memories. I wish I could be with my family for Christmas but they are far away. I would drive 3+ hours to see them if I could but it’s 22+ hours so i can’t.
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I grew up in a very family oriented household. So for us the holidays are a time to be with family. We have our own traditions that we do with our kids due to the mix of religions that we have, but we always do Holidays with my family (my husbands mother and sister are not involved in our lives). The only holiday that we do on our own is usually Thanksgiving and that’s because my family always goes out of town to my uncle’s and my husband is always on call. Personally I just feel that holidays are meant to be spent with those you love and maybe his family feels the same way.
Stand your ground !!! If they want to visit you then let them!! It’s 1 day a year . Stop dragging the kids about to house and chill in your own house ! And as for the husband pfft well I’d be having words with him ! How dare he do that to you. And if it cause a spilt between wait til next year when you have to organise it between your selfs for Xmas morning and afternoon !!
Stay home and have them come to you! 
We do Christmas Eve with my family. And we agreed that there will be no more rushing on Christmas morning to be with his family at 9 AM. We go to his family around 3. That’s why my kids can get up and enjoy their Christmas presents before we have to head out
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I’m with ya!!! I’ve been running from house to house for 21 years!!! It’s exhausting! Not one Christmas in 21 years have I sat amongest my mess and my kids played with their toys. We’ve always had to pack up immediately after and go! Not to return until 2 to 3 in the afternoon. I have 2 little ones and a 16 year old left at home. I refuse to leave this house on Christmas! Refuse!!! Unless God himself comes down and asks me to get dressed and go!!! I’m not going! I’ll miss the tradition of Christmas breakfast but not the utter chaos of hanging with 15 other people and chasing my 2 smaller kids!! My hubby was on board at first, but has since mentioned going to his mom’s for breakfast. I’m not going… my kids aren’t going. He’s more than welcome to go over later and visit… but after our Christmas. And she is more than welcome to come here.
Why don’t you just host Christmas and have them all over.
To play devil’s advocate…imagine in the future your kids didn’t want to bring your grandkids around for the holidays. I’m sure you wouldnt like it.
We are spending Christmas morning with our son. Evening with my parents. Christmas Eve with the in-laws. You do not need to explain anything to anyone about what you want to do with YOUR children. Maybe compromise and spend CE with them.
When my daughter was 2, I felt the exact same way so we decided we would stay put on Christmas Eve and our door was open for both families to pop in. We traveled on Christmas Day but not until late afternoon. Babies and kids love staying home and getting ready for Santa…
Hopefully they get over it:)
Tell them to fuck themselves… the only selfish ones are the ones not running around with the kids… it’s perfectly okay to spend holidays with your own little family that you’ve created… if your family can’t understand that… then leave them behind…
I’ve spent a few holidays at home because it’s so uncomfortable being in other people’s houses with so many young kids around, as a parent we don’t really get to enjoy it! Last year I did thanksgiving and Xmas at home with my kids… family completely understood… as a mom we are pulling ourselves left and right for everyone else… when can we get to enjoy some down time?? Xmas is the perfect day for that… I absolutely loved just watching my kids open their presents and the focus was on them… this year might be the same
Maybe do your christmas and see them on christmas eve or boxing day
How about hosting? Then you could invite both sets of grands and whoever you want
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Why cant they come to you
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I’d stay at home I have come to realize that it is not your sole responsibility to make sure grandparents or any family members sees your kids for the holidays. If the grandparents are able bodied and mobile they can come to you. Your husband is a typical male in his caving to his parents. Stand up for what the two of you agreed to. If push comes to shove let him take two kids under five to his parents and let him see how hectic that can truly be without your help.
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We had this problem. I put a stop to dragging the kids around on Christmas Day, they wanted to stay home and enjoy their gifts. Christma Eve is open but Christmas Day is at home.
We spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws, grandparents come over Christmas morning for breakfast and to watch the kids open presents, we go to my family’s Christmas afternoon, usually around 4. We just started doing it this year. It’s what we all agreed to. I was tired of dragging my kids everywhere constantly Christmas Day. Maybe start having Christmas at your home with both sets of parents?
Invite them to your house for christmas
Since my family is all over the place and most work on the day of we stay home. My door is open to anyone that wants to stop by. I cook enough food for friends and family that don’t have anything planner or their other half has work. I feel like no one should be alone. So it always at my house.
However we make the effort to see grandparents the weekend before and after.
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As a mom of 3 when my oldest turned 3 or 4 We made a rule that Christmas was at my house. Period. I refuse to move my kids around on Christmas. I invite everyone to my house. If any grandparents want to be there for Santa in the morning they must get here before the kids wake up. I cook all day breakfast and then a big spread at lunch/ dinner time. Youare welcome at my house if you chose but if you don’t come to my house we won’t see you on Christmas. My husband doesn’t have a problem with it. My in-laws didn’t like it at first thought I was being mean but now they understand and it works for us.
I never cared much for thanksgiving holiday so I do give her that holiday. We go to their house on thanksgiving.
Easter changes every year. Just depends on what is going on at that time.
Halloween is well mine r older so we usually go off with friends to trick or treat and send pictures to grandparents.
Mother’s Day changes every other year. One year we go to my in-laws and the next year is my year to enjoy Mayb a cookout with friends.
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I was pregnant with my oldest and my family started a new tradition of going out to brunch Christmas morning. I went once and then we stayed home Christmas mornings after that because it’s not fair to the kids to let them open gifts then dress them up and hail them off to other people’s houses (or in my case an damn restaurant). We’d have my dad, sister and brother in law over later in the day , when they were done with brunch (my dad would come over and nap after brunch…lol) I preferred to stay in my PJs all morning while the kids played with their new stuff.
We always did Christmas at the grandparents house with all the family members on Christmas eve. Then Christmas morning my grandparents would all get up and come to my house, then to my cousins’ homes. We didn’t wait for them for me to open gifts, but they normally got to see me open the last few. I really enjoyed being able to stay home and play with all my new toys, but they still got to share that with me.
We do Christmas in the am at our house just us and then around lunch time go over to family🤷🏼♀️
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My family had no problem with it because it kept their house clean. We stayed home and their grandparents would bring their gifts Christmas eve or christmas day. I would cook my own christmas dinner and sometimes the grandparents would come over that later in the day. It allowed my hubby to sleep after putting toys together throughout the night and it was so relaxing to not have to put up with the kids anger because they wanted to stay home and play with their new toys.
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Spend holidays at home with my children they can come to yalls house simple as that if they dont like it they will get over it an tell your husband if he dint he go to his parents house its real simple your the mom the wife do what you want with your children
when my kids were young, Christmas was at my house with them. If anyone one (grandparents) wanted to come over , that was fine, But kids shouldn’t have to leave their house nor presents on Christmas. And now my kids are grown & have kids, their children stay home with their gifts 
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If standing your ground on where you want to spend your holiday could be a splitting point with your husband, you have other issues you need to work on.
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We have 5-6 Christmas’s every year. I don’t love it it’s a lot of stress but we split it up starting the weekend before Christmas and through to the next weekend now before I had to put everyone into Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I do however designate Christmas morning to my kids and family. No one else comes over and we don’t go anywhere till after noon
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Don’t be crazy stand your ground and remind him he did agree to spend it at your house. Just do it at your house. They can come see you and family at your house for once if you want them to. Just tell hubby Christmas is at our house with us and the kids. Don’t give in to mother or father in law pressure. If you do they will do it all the time. They are trying to run your life by demanding you go do what they want. Do your Christmas how you want to.
I feel this soo much. I have to make time for 5 christmas’… i HATE it. I feel like I stress all holidays and I have shared holidays with my ex so ontop of fitting time with everyone in and also have to drop my oldest off as well most holidays and make sure they have time as well. I feel like such a scrooge. 
I cant gone you insite cause I feel like it’s just going to be this way forever.
Do they give your children gifts? If so you should allow them to see their grandparents and receive their presents because that isnt fair to them…maybe just explain how stressful it is to get ready and go see everyone and ask If they will come to your house in the afternoon instead? We do our family thing in am and go do lunch and gifts with extended family later on…if you live in same town i dont really understand why it’s so stressful to go to two grandparents houses but maybe your situation just has a lot of left out details idk…good luck tho!
have both yours and his family over for christmas tell them to bring a side dish so they help with christmas dinner
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Invite them to your place. They are extended family now not immediate family
How about you invite them over on Christmas afternoon for ordervers and little time with the kids. Then they can go home. And you can have your family time and your kids won’t be taken away from their gifts. And stand your ground it’s your family you have the right to start your own traditions. They may be miffed for a little bit but they’ll get over it. I dont think it’s going to wreck your marriage. Merry Christmas. Good luck.
YOUR kids, so do what YOU want!
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Why not them come to you try hosting christmas
Same happened to me…we are divorcing. Lol. I’m always the bad guy
Why dont you compromise like have them over to your house and you do Christmas there.
We have done something like that years ago. We have 4 kids. When my oldest was 5 1/2, our youngest was born. So it is extremely hard and exhausting. We started doing every other year. So one year we will go to my husband’s family get together and the next year, we stay home. With my mom, usually we will go there for a short time on Christmas Eve. With all the craziness of 2 December bdays (boys bdays 12/12 and 12/16), when we are constantly running around, it makes me feel like I hate the holidays.
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My family did this… my parents told all grandmas ,grandpas and even aunts and uncles if you wanna see them you can come to our home or we can plan it another day but until they are older we arent leaving our home on the main holidays .
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It’s a difficult situation because if you say yes we’ll go to your parents house, and your parents are left out! Stand your ground. Invite them over. And let it be their decision to make whether or not they come! If they decide not to come then that’s their loss! I understand the situation with your husband you said it could be the splitting point but if this is what he agreed to months ago, then stand your ground!