My mom begged me not to get an acestry test done: Advice?

No i know someone who did it almost destroyed her life,Do you want that.

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Sounds like mom cheated or you were conceived with someone other than your current father. I’d just ask her what she’s hiding and what she doesn’t want you to know. For the record, you won’t mess up anything; her actions are hers and hers alone. She should know better.

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Do it that’s what wrong with us now … secrets…we need to know our family history. I did one I found family I never heard of and plus I think it’s safe at least you won’t have to marry a family member you didn’t know was family because of different last names but same bloodline

The real question is, would you be OK with your decision to know possibly hurting someone close to you in a way that would be irreparable. Her secret and your curiosity could change the life of someone who is innocent in this in ways that they may never emotionally recover… just play the tape all the way through. Make your mom tell you why in privacy and then assess the potential damage of proceeding with the test

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some women found out there daddy wasn’t their daddy doing this lol

You have to assess the situation and play out the whole story of what you could potentially unveil and IF you’re okay living with that knowledge. There’s no going back once you know. I’m open with my mom enough that I would have already know what that would be so I would definitely do it anyways. I love the truth.

If you’re ready to find out some secrets/surprises…. Then do it. If not, wait! I think there’s a reason your mom doesn’t want you to do it

Maybe you’re Dad is not who you think it is or you could be adopted. I’d want to know.

Pretty sure she doesn’t want you to find out something … put her at ease … if you still want to do it, just keep it to yourself regardless what you find … sounds like you are about to open Pandora’s box :woman_shrugging:

Time for mom to fess up and come clean with secrets, yes the truth may upset things but not knowing could do more harm medically.

“I’m really not understanding how that has anything to do with anyone but me…” If that were true, she would tell you. It might be something completely awful (rape, incest, affairs, etc.) and bringing the information to light will open wounds that have been healed for years. So be prepared to either 1. lose relationships when you reveal whatever truth you find or 2. carry the secret, however awful it might be.

Do it if you want too. I recently did mine but my mom won’t do it and that’s her choice.

I’d definitely want to get it done now…

Your mom is not telling you something BIG, if she choses not to tell you then YES get that test done.

Ir mom cheated on ur dad and she don’t wanna get caught

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Someone is keeping a secret. Do the dna test and then once you’ve mailed it in tell your mom. She will either fess up or hope your results don’t give away her secret and keep lying to you. Your dna and history can tell you so much about your health. I did two different ones and I learned so much. Just prepare yourself for a shock of a lifetime.

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Personally I’d still do it but try to keep the information I find to myself.

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You need to ask her why? Are you adopted? Things like this

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Someone had an affair :eyes:

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So just do it and keep it to yourself! Don’t tell her unless you feel the need after you know the truth!

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Sounds like your dad is also your uncle to me

There are skeletons in the closet. Be brave do test. Then if need to talk to someone outside the family to process the right things to do. Obviously your mom knows what ever it is. And she will be the first to go to. After the process hugs.

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That right there would make me want to get it done even more sounds like there’s a secret she’s keeping

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With a response like that from her I would have to get it done, personally! I would first take her to lunch and have a very real and private conversation, give her the opportunity to explain, if for no other reason than so it doesn’t come as such a shock/blow to you when you get the results. But, I would absolutely have to get definitive answers.

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Its your right to know. Unfair for her to ask you to keep something a secret

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I would get it…but try and talk to your Mom. Tell her you ARE getting it and if there is anything she wants to tell you before it arrives.

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I would pressure her to tell me the secret but I wouldn’t get it done. What if someone ends up in prison

There is obviously a family secret that she doesn’t want you to know. I would do it now even more than ever. Secrets only harm they do nothing good.

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hell nah, i would do it even more after that. smh

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Get it girl!!! Truth is always bound to come out. But when and if you do get it. Go to your mother first and see what she really has to say

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My friend has done it. It showed she’s 1% this 4.5% that n idk what else. Basically my friend is a mixture of every race lol! & she’s Mexican
I think ur mom is overreacting a bit.

Just do it so you know

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I would find out. It would eat me alive

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Get it done. Youre probably someone else’s kid or something. You got more family out there. I would want to know honestly.

Take the test and find out your history.

Leave well alone until you have prayed at your Mums funeral. Then do the DNA test and waste the rest of your life searching for spirits.

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Just do it and keep the results to yourself. Obviously there’s a scandal. If you’re doing it for you, keep it for you. Your mom will have to get over it.

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I’d have to know, then!

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Someone has a dirty little secret in the family! this is the exact thing that happened in my family, only the one with the secret passed long before the test was even invented. Go ahead and do your ancestry! you deserve to know where you came from. YOU wouldn’t being ruining anything! the person who fucked up would. Please give us an update when you find out!

I’d do the DNA. The truth shall set you…maybe her free

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I’ve done that DNA ancestry testing. It just tells you what part of the world your family comes from and about how much of what nationality you are. Doesn’t pinpoint you to any person.

Your dad isn’t your dad :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Skeletons rattle when they fall out of old closets, it causes some to jump, and others to laugh, some to scream, but in every case it causes suspicious questions, and always consequences. You must be prepared for anything.

I would have a conversation with my mom. I would ask her why, and a fluffernutter answer will not suffice. If you are this passionate about me not doing it, then I’m passionate enough and deserve the respect to know the truth behind what she feels. And if a reasonable answer cannot be provided then I don’t see why under these present circumstances I cannot do what I would like to do for myself.

Not a threat, not an ultimatum. You’re either going to have a respectful exchange or you do what you want and no at that point it wouldn’t be disrespecting her. That goes both ways.

Obviously there’s something she doesn’t want you uncovering. Maybe ask her to explain a little more before making your decision

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I’d DEFINITELY do it if she said that. :joy:

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Talk to ur Mum and tell her to either tell u the truth or u will get it done.

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I would definitely do the DNA test there is something your mother does not want you to find out about your family tree which should make you wanna do it even more. Just do it and don’t tell her

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Ur dad isn’t ur dad or ur mom isn’t ur mom or u could be adopted

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One or both of your parents may not be your parents. Get it done. If nothing else, you could find out important medical information that could save your life some day.

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1 or both aren’t your parents.

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Yeah sounds like she’s hiding something.

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Leave well enough alone

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maybe she dont want you to do it cause your giving your DNA away and they can do what they like with it…

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I did mine and found out I had a different father from my siblings

She’s obviously just told you something they’ve never told you. I’m leaning more towards your father isn’t your father, and or neither of them are your parents. Either way sounds like you need to be demanding some answers.

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Sounds like she is bout to get caught and possibly rightfully so. Albeit not a decision you should have to make. But I think you deserve and have a right to know who your biological dad is

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Hi miss you and our family. Give kids a kiss from mema.

Be prepared mentally. Worry about how it will affect your life first.

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Nope. Do it. But be prepared for the outcome. You may not like it.

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Only you know your mom and the reason she gives against you doing a DNA test. It is also your body and your choice.

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I would go have a private discussion with her somewhere and get the reason why .and probably keep that reason between you and her

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Yeh could be adopted?

Get it done :+1:t4: Best wishes!

Definitely get it cause either way u need to know wats going on

Find out. That’s YOUR business, not anyone else’s

your dad may not be your farther. think of how you would feel!!

I’ve been doing genealogy since 1987. In my experience when someone does not want information to come to light, there is a secret. I would ask her why, specifically she does not want you to do the DNA test. I’m also a birther mother to a now 41 year old son. Anyone who knows me knows about him. It’s not a secret. But not everyone is as open about this as I am. IF you were adopted or not told the truth about a biological relative, you have a right to know. Even if she does come clean, I would still do the DNA test.