My mom can be very controlling: Advice?

So my mom can be controlling and very into my business even though I’m 28 years old now. Well me and my boyfriend broke up because of him being really jealous, and now after a couple days and us having talked everything out, he’s wanting to get back together but my mom says if we do, I’d be stupid to go back and she won’t pick up my son from school and watch him while I’m at work anymore or anything. At the beginning of us though, she was jealous of the fact that me and him talked on the phone so much and hung out more, since I usually did that with her. Constantly on the phone all day every day. So, she’s giving me an ultimatum on her or my ex who my son loves and I do too

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Sounds like it’s either your mommy or your man!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom can be very controlling: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

She loves you like nobody else will, and she will be there when nobody else is! You will look back one day, and say " boy, was my mamma right"

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The only thing that worked in my situation was my son & I staying away from her as much as possible. I was in my 30’s with mine acting that way. In a twisted way, she only wants what’s best for you (seems that way).
It’s heartbreaking for everyone.
Once she realizes you don’t need her, she’ll crumble. They just want to be needed most of the time.

Liah Hendry agreed! I’m just thinking as a mother there could be times when you might be desperate to try to get someones attention that you love, to persuade them to make different choices when you know they could be headed in a dangerous direction!

Get rid of both of em. That’s too much stress.

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Pick your “controlling” mother over that controlling ex bf. An ex is an ex for a reason. He’s not going to stop being jealous and that is a form of control and manipulation. Another option is to stay single and pay for daycare. That way no one is “controlling” you.

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I’ve learned to keep my issues with my spouse only between us because once we’re done being upset our families and friends still hold opinions. It’s sucks not to have someone to vent to always but it’s worth not having the drama.

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Melanie Denise control and ultimatums are not love

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Dont pick either…you have been groomed. Research daughters of narcissist mothers…you will find a lot of your mother there…I would bet money…you are young…work on learned negative behaviors and correct them…learn that you are in control and take charge. Do not go back to bf until you jave donr this work…your mother groomed you to be controlled…by her…using whatever means…she didnt stop and think that you would grow up and leave her…and she secretly hopes he treats you bad enough to go back to her…if he doesn’t she will step in as she is now…or she may even cause problems between you and any relationship you may have…bf…friends… workmates…anywhere she thinks will hold you back. Any of this sound familiar. If so…you have learned negative behaviors…she is your mother…and biggest influence…and making these corrections…your life will start getting better…but expect pushback from both…but remember…it is about you…and your baby/babies and breaking a cycle.

Well if you told her all your issues with your ex and all the problems you had with him that’s probably why she is acting that way
I’m not saying she is right but when you tell family and friends bad things about your relationship
Usually things happen like that or they don’t want them around, hold a grudge , don’t want to talk or be around them etc
Maybe that’s the only thing she could say to try and get you not to be with him
I’m sure there is more to it then mentioned

Your just going to have to figure out what you want
If you want your ex then you need to have a talk with your mom set boundaries and have a babysitter or daycare and quit telling her your problems that you have with him if you get back together I’m not being mean sorry if it sounds that way
Good luck :crossed_fingers::heart:

Go get child care assistance, find one that will get him to and from school. Contact your local benefits office. It’s time for you to explain to her what her position is in your life. I walked away from my toxic mother 11 years ago it’s bliss, trust me it not easy but now it was the best decision I have ever made, not only for me but for my children too, they don’t have to deal with her toxic ways