Hello… I’d like to submit a question for advice… When my younger sister’s children were born, my mom was over the moon…insane with longing to see them all the time and be near them. She lives close to my sister and would go over to babysit all the time or just visit. She would call my sister and ask to come over if she hadn’t seen them in the last week. My sister never left her kids with anyone else, but had my mom babysit whenever she went out with friends or her husband. My mom has always fawned over them. Fast forward a few years… My husband and I adopted two toddlers (a couple of years apart). We lived about an hour away from my mom at that point, but now more like 3 hours away. She was always very loving when she saw the kids, but when she didn’t, it was like they didn’t exist. She never asked to come over to see them the way she did with my sister’s kids…never calls or sends cards for their birthdays… she does send Amazon presents that show in unwrapped boxes at my door, usually without a note about who they are from. It’s true my relationship with my mom has been strained over the years (not just because of this), but that should have nothing to do with the one she has with her grandchildren…but that is largely nonexistent. It really makes me angry and resentful that she doesn’t make an effort to know them. Even if she can’t see them, she should call to talk to them once in a while, but she doesn’t. And if she feels funny talking, she could at least send a card. But she doesn’t. A few times, when together at my sister’s for a holiday, she will say things like “my XYZ” when talking about my sister’s kids… she has never called my kids “her” anything. She swears she loves them, and she is a loving person in general (just can’t always show it)… Even still, this irks me in a big way. Am I justified? Should I ignore it? We are not close enough at the moment for me to mention it…although I have voiced irritation about Amazon boxes coming without warning or without a card in the past. (Not bc I’m not thankful for the gift but bc it’s so impersonal, and the kids never hear “from her.”) How does one take this if not as an insult?.. please post on your page. I’d really like to know what others think. Thanks!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't make an effort to see my kids: Advice?
If their relationship is that important to you, pack the family up and make the 3 hour trip to see her more often. Or have the kids call or FaceTime her.
I have the same the problem with a parent. We were living in a different state and their excuse was they couldn’t drive that far because of back problems. We’re now in the same state and that is the same excuse except they can drive even further for vacation… You can get mad and upset or you can realize it’s life. If ANYONE wants to be in your kids life, or yours, they will make the effort. Just let it go. Do your part and try and include them or give the access to the kids. The kids will grow up and you will know you did what you could. Your life will be much easier 
I dont make time for people who dont make time for my kids.
My mom and dad lived three or more hours away. No I get are not as close as to the others who live there. No they didn’t drive to the big city.
Ask her to call your children or children call her
Wrap up he gifts and put her name on it
Make sure to send pictures and have one of her for them
Cut her out and off, otherwise don’t waste your time. You don’t need to make that relationship, she does. That responsibility is not on you.
Sweetheart, I’m sorry you and kids feel hurt. My suggestion is all of you start going over to see your mom. Yes, I’m asking you to be the bigger person. Go at least twice a month. The only way change can happen is if normal becomes different. She will see that you love her, that your children are in fact amazing and that being around each other makes her heart feel good. Do it for your children. Trust me, God will bless you for being the bigger person. Good luck 
Yea, my mom fawned over my brothers oldest child and my sisters kids. Couldn’t be bothered with mine. Sometimes parents just suck. 
You live a lot farther than your sister does and sometimes that does cause strain on relationships with children and relatives. Your sister being closer means she does in fact get to see them and she probably is more attached to them. Also please don’t take this the wrong way bc I think it’s absolutely wonderful and selfless that you adopted two babies, however it’s may be harder for your mother to bond with them bc they aren’t her actual biological grandchildren. Some people just don’t have that ability it doesn’t make them bad people it just makes it harder for everyone to establish and maintain familiar relationships. I honestly think it’s the distance making the bonding a challenge. 3 hours is a long drive for a day and with life, jobs and responsibilities it’s not always possible to make a weekend trip possible all of the time. Maybe start planning birthday parties in advance together. Invite her and your sister or even go to their area and do the party. It will be wonderful memories and show effort on both parts. Good luck
I have same problem with my mom and the in laws. It’s called favorites. Not much you can do just don’t let it get to you
You cannot change people’s actions, only your reactions to them. At this point your mother has made it clear that she is not invested in your kiddos lives. Which is ok. Don’t loose sleep over it. Yes it would be awesome if she could treat all her grands equally but it will be her loss when your kids are too old to want a relationship with her. So love your kids and don’t expect anything from your mama. FYI. I am a grandmother to two beautiful little girls.
My youngest kids’ grandma(their dads mom) is like that, it bothered me at first but now I don’t care whether or not she does see them cause now I look at it as her loss. I would just be happy if she actually got them things for birthdays, holidays or whatever but she doesn’t. She only gets things for her other grandkids. The part I hate most is when she does talk to my kids is she’ll ask what they want or need and turn around and not get them anything. 
And I’m left to explain why Gramma didn’t get this or that so I don’t go out of my way to make sure my kids have contact with her. If she wants anything to do with them, she would make the effort but doesn’t. I have talked to their dad about his mom promising my kids things and not coming thru with whatever it is and left the rest up to him to do whatever. In the meantime we just do without Grandma. And my kids are doing ok with just that.
We always paid for my mom to come visit us be for we had our daughter so she could visit and we would go back home when we could get time off at the same time. After we had our daughter. My mom started making excuses for why she couldn’t come. We would make the extra effort to drive the 550 miles one way to go see her and she could get to see and know her only blood granddaughter. She would be stand offish. We would still continue to pay for plane tickets and my brother got married they got some fur babies. After 2nd time we made plans for my mom to come she agreed to the dates. My brother all of a sudden need her to dog sit because they wanted to go to a football game in Minneapolis. She called and canceled twice so she could dog sit. She was more excited to dog sit than come see her grand baby and daughter. I told her this was the last time I would ask her or pay for her way. She tried explaining that the dogs could not be left alone. I told her there was a good dog key, our cousin owned it. My mom got to see my daughter after 10 years one time. No gifts for any holiday, birthday, or cards. Her loss. Didn’t cut her out of our lives but it had to be her choice and her choice to come see us
You’re not gonna like this, but fixing YOUR relationship with your mom is going to be the gateway to paving the way for her to forge a better one with your kids. You need to make that YOUR priority. Secondly, you moved away. Your sister lives what sounds like blocks away from your mother. That isn’t your mom’s fault, nor should you expect her to make that drive like it’s just next door. THREE HOURS one way is a COMMITMENT. My sister lives that exact amount from me. My sisters and I used to drive over there every few months, willingly… until things changed and it just wasn’t fun anymore. You’re comparing apples to oranges in this regard by saying your 3 hour drive isn’t any different than a five minute one. You’re not just talking about 3 hours. It’s six. Three each way. If all she catches is flack, attitude, and disrespect from you, ain’t no way in hell I’d drive to see you either. If you want her to see your kids, it starts with you making the effort and making it a priority. Or at least being adult enough to have that honest conversation with your mom and being willing to meet her even halfway. Relationships are a two way street.
You chose to move farther away, you should make trips to her house to let her see her grandbabies! I went from Florida to Las Vegas to spend time with my son and his kids. You deal with it without complaining.
You live 3 hours away and your relationship with her is strained. Your sister seems to have a great relationship with her and lives close… if she shows love towards them when they are around then that’s great! She should make more of an effort with cards/gifts but that’s the only issue I’m really seeing… I’m not saying it’s right, but it could also have something to do with he fact they aren’t maternal grandchildren, they’re adopted grandchildren. She refers to your sisters children as ‘hers’, this might be because they are her grandchildren by blood and feels a closer bond with them. It’s probably completely unintentional. Don’t hate on me for saying it because I strongly believe that all children be treated the same and with all the love they deserve… however, this could factor into the relationship she has with your children
I know how this feels!!
It’s favoritism. Taking away the distance as a factor Bc you can have a relationship with family and bond without seeing them in person. You just have to make the effort. Ask her if she intends to continue the favoritism to the grandkids or will she be fair (it’s not always equal).
What have you done to make it happen. if Its that important drive the 3 hours to your mom’s. She sends gifts and you complaining about that get over yourself she doesn’t have to anything for your children. Stop comparing yourself to others you’ll always lose.
Relationships are a two way street do you go visit invite her up to stay contact her write her letters send gift to her?? And I don’t understand how venting on a group is helping think this conversation and explaining your emotions and the way you are feeling needs to be discussed with your mother otherwise it will never be resolved and you will continue to be resentful. Also it will take time and effort on all of you like said in previous comment they aren’t her biological grandkids that bond needs time to grow and distance is makings that difficult thats not saying she doesn’t love them but try not to get jealous of your sister relationship with you mum and her kids and try not to judge and take things personally maybe lower your expectations. Be thankful for the little gift and things some people would love and don’t even get that from their biological mums
Maybe because your kids are adopted and your sister’s kids are blood related? It would be a jerk attitude but maybe that’s it?
I live right next to my mom and she never takes my kids but has my sisters usually at least once a week I just learned to live with it honestly.
As shit as this is gonna sound maybe its because they’re adopted she doesnt feel like their ‘her’ anything? Also your relationship is strained thats not gonna help either even though it shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to kids. Also your sister is younger therefore your mums baby and is also closer both in location as well as in emotions. Its hard and your shitty at her lack of effort but sometimes YOU have to put the effort in to strengthen those bonds
You have to ignore it because you can’t change it or make her change 
loving from a distance is ok.
I’m sorry, but she’s sending gifts. Wrapped or unwrapped doesn’t matter. She took the time to pick them out and send them. Who cares if there’s a card or not. Give them to your kids and let them enjoy them. To me, this entire post makes me think you’re jealous of your sister and using your kids as an excuse to justify it. You moved 3 hours away. That was your decision and you need to take that responsibility on to bridge that gap… you shouldn’t expect everyone to drop everything to come visit you and your kids. That’s not a just a small ask for someone to drive alone one way, let alone someone of an advanced age. That’s just selfish and inconsiderate on multiple levels. Seems to me you have 2 choices, make the effort to repair what you see as damaged by making the effort and closing the distance by taking your kids over regularly, or keep making excuses where nothing will ever change.
My situation was similar. I had kids, and my stepmom (only mom ive known since like i was 7) was so happy. She fawned over them both. Then her biological daughter gave birth and now my kids dont exist to her. Shed literally tell people she had 2 grandkids instead of 4. At first i assumed it was bc we lived 12hrs away. Then i moved back home, and her daughter (and kids) moved in with me. My stepmom would come pick them up amd tell my kids no when they wanted to go too. I got sick of seeing my kids hurt and cut her out of my life. Its been 2.5yrs and my kids no longer ask about her. They have their fathers family and their stepmoms family.
She sounds toxic and honestly, i drop her. Shes a grown ass adult, she can make the time for her grandkids.
Maybe she just doesn’t feel “connected” to you’re children because they are adopted.
That would be a ridiculous reason not to build a relationship with them, however, I do understand where she could feel this way.
Maybe trying planning vacations to see your mother. Establish a relationship/bond. Let her see that the kids love her just the same. Let them learn that “blood” isn’t always a reason not to be just as close. Try it before completely believing that she just doesn’t care. Something are hard for others when ourselves couldn’t see a “difference”.
Happened with my family and my daughter and myself. After a couple of years my daughter and I distanced ourselves putting celebrations together #1 and everyone else came next
I know how this feels…not with my mum…but with my mother in law. She drops everything to go help all of her other kids and her grandchildren yet we are forgotten about. She never calls. When we do see her. Shes more interested in the younger grand kids and I feel like she fobs my 2 off and we are always the last ones to know anything happening in the family. This is why we have slowly backed away from family to be honest. Have to look after the people who actually care and give a shit in our lives
I’m a GiGi to 8 beautiful children…i honestly feel like this could be 1 of my girls writing this. I have always been super close to 2 of my grands and i do see them regularly. I feel guilty a lot of the time because of this. However, i have tried to build relationships with others. Life gets in the way ALOT. Not an excuse, just truth. I think about the others a great deal and honestly wish things were different, its just difficult. My other grands Mom’s work, therefore its harder to just go see them. Also, they dont live as close. When im invited to their houses, i do my very best to go. I love them all just more of a connection with the 2, for the above reasons and many more.
See I just don’t understand these comments. I don’t see the difference between adopted children and blood when it comes to the grandparents. The grandparents don’t carry the child either way so no matter what they have to bond with a new born “blood” grandchild so why is it hard to bond with a adopted young toddler?! See how ridiculous that sounds. The grandparent always has to make the effort to bond with any grandchild and if it’s so hard because they are adopted than yes there is something wrong with said grandparent.
Once you adopt a child or even foster a child they are family. If she can’t call then her grandchildren i would be annoyed. They are your kids and therefore apart of your family as well.
To be totally frank she may not view them as her grandchildren
There is no bond (blood or emotional) between her and them and you can’t force one
Is it unfair?
HELL YEAH
Her living close to your sister’s kids and seeing them often is probably one of the key reasons, moving even farther away definitely didn’t help
My youngest Daughter lives close to me and I see my 2 grandbabies of hers all the time. My oldest lives 3 hours away and I them at least 2 times a month sometimes more, because she brings my 3 grandbabies here also. My middle son lives 3 hours in a different direction and the same thing. We all go on vacations together and always have Christmas all holidays at my oldest daughter’s house.I love all my grandkids, but we all make an effort to make sure we see each other a lot. I am a small business owner and I hired someone to run my place because I knew I would be miserable if I didn’t get to see my kids and my grandkids. My advice you start by making the effort and make sure she feels welcome at your house, call her let the kids talk to her, face time her. You can make it work, but you have to start somewhere. As far as biological kid’s no grandma would treat them any different. I think this may be between you and her, the kids are innocent bystanders.
It could be that maybe you are feeling this sort of way (mom not being so much a grandma to your adopted children than your sisters) maybe you are reading WAY to much into it ? I recommend going over more than you do, and make an actual effort. Appreciate the gifts and maybe have your littles wrote and make out actual thank you cards to their grandma? She could write back? Make a bigger effort to get the relationship you’d like
Maybe it’s because they ain’t blood? Kinda what I’m taking from this. I’d just stay away if she really loves and cares shed do it then.
I live this! My mom became an “instant grandma” to my 3 step kiddos before my 2 kiddos were born and they were told at 6 and 4 my youngest step son was 1 (at the time we got together) and they were told to call my mom lampshade because she didn’t to be a grandma …yet with my younger sisters kids she was grandma right away. She bought diapers, formula, anything they needed for my nephew but couldn’t even give me money (even $5 to start a deposit for my youngest daughter that I was pregnant as I left my husband) but also paid my sister’s Amazon prime bill because she needed to buy something for herself and needed her free shipping. You and your kiddos deserve much better than all the drama!
I totally understand your feelings and wish your mom would show more affection to them!!!
Idk. I have my moms only grand kids and my grandma and grandpas great grandkids and they never ask to see them or call to talk to them. Honestly I don’t worry about it. My kids see my grandparents maybe once a year or once every other year. And my mom sees them whenever I go pick up mail from her house. She doesn’t baby sit or anything. And I wouldn’t ask her to either.
I know this feeling all a little too well through the eyes of being that said grandchild.
My dad adopted me and his mother never really accepted me as one of her grandchildren. My grandfather did when he was still alive but my dads mother does not. Even to this day now that I am a mom of my own she still doesn’t accept my daugther and I as her family.
My dad has stopped trying and so have I.
Now on the other hand I have seen what loving your “non-blood” grandchildren is like from my mom and I don’t want anything less for my daugther so I don’t stand for it.
My mom has 1 “blood” grandchild and 4 “non-blood” grandchildren but you would NEVER know it. She treats all 5 of HER grandbabies the same! She puts in the effort to see them all and to make sure that we all have what we need and everything.
She understands that being a mom can be hard and stressful and get extremely busy at times and we don’t always have time to visit or call or text or anything so she always make sure to keep in touch at least once a week with everyone to see what is needed how everyone is doing and all that stuff.
My grandma was the same way as my mom. My dads kids aren’t blood related to my grandma but that didn’t stop her from showing her love. And when they started having children it didn’t stop.
If my grandma was still here today she would be telling everyone that becoming a mom is the best gift ever and like no other but becoming a grandma is what really blesses you.
I have a really close friend and her daughter is the same age as mine and they are over all the time and everything and her daugther asked my dad what she should call him and he said
“you can call me Papa. But don’t forget that just because I’m not your blood Papa doesn’t mean that you can’t come to me about anything. You need anything at all Papa is here.”
They aren’t blood…that’s the issue here in my opinion. She makes the minimum required effort with sending gifts but it’s just impersonal cause she has no attachment to them.
Sounds to me like the mother and grandmother have lots of issues. Maybe she’s fearful of getting close to the kids because of how bad their relationship is?
It’s called not being the favorite. Same with my ILs. They treat my kids different than the rest. And these are biologically related. Not everyone looks at adopted kids as theirs. If there’s no “connection” then most won’t bother. At least she sends gifts (even if they aren’t personalized). You need to sit down and have a personal talk with her and depending on how that goes, make your decision. Regardless of how hard it is.
I’ve learned over the years that with my mother in law, we just aren’t needing her enough. When any of my husband’s brothers use their mom, it is expected. My children aren’t as close with her and to me that’s her choice. Your kids deserve more than a half attempt or an after thought. Make grandma’s house seem like a fun treat not a babysitter house. Grandma’s house really shouldn’t feel like an every weekend deal anyway. Some adults just use their parents and it is sad.
My mum lives around the corner from me and never bothers to see her grandchildren, we FaceTime daily and she talks to them that way but she doesn’t make an effort to call and see them and to be honest I don’t see why I should gather my kids to take them to her small flat. She knows she’s welcome here any time and I leave it at that.
Do you ever offer to visit her? 3 hours is a long trip away for some people. She lives close to her other grandkids so of course she’s going to have a closer bond with him. My mom lives by me so she has a close bond with mine. Their other grandma lives in another state so they just dont have as good as a relationship. Then there is the posibility that yes, she may love your kids but she feels some type of way because they arent her biological grandkids. Some people just cant feel that attachment to people who arent biologically related.
My dad was like this. My dad would go get my sisters kids to stay the night with them all the time, but not once did they do that for ours. My dad is dying now and fully regrets it. He regrets not getting to know my kids and it absolutely tears me apart knowing he doesn’t have much longer. He now is wanting to see them more and get to know them more. I do have to say I did not put much effort into it because there didn’t seem to be much interest and it got tiring and my kids started asking questions like why did grandpa buy them a big trampoline and why does grandpa see them or let them spend time with him (just examples) . It does hurt a lot and it sucks. Honestly, time passed so quickly that I just kept going with life and our kids went on and now doesn’t bother them except they are sad about the whole situation going on now. I do have to say 3 hours does seem to be a long trip. We weren’t that far maybe 15-20 min drive, now we are 45 minutes from them. I would honestly try to meet halfway or try to maybe make effort to go there or invite her to stay with you guys. I’m sorry if you put that above I read it, but after writing I couldn’t remember if that was a point in there or not.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't make an effort to see my kids: Advice?
Let it go. It’s hard. My mom is the same way to my kids compared to my sister’s. My mom went and got matching tattoos with my sister and her two girls. She wanted me to go also, but not my kids, when I mentioned me, her and my kids should all get matching tattoos she shut that down. It hurts, but it’s all ways been that way. I can’t change her. But I can change the way I react/respond to her. I don’t try to hard, and just allow her to be around when she chooses and don’t force my kids to be around unless they want to.
Time usually heals most wounds of life…and in your case it seems to be the only way to remedy your situation…eventually your little ones will grow…and at that time will seek out your mom if they want to get to know her…you didn’t mention your father so I’m assuming he is gone…enjoy what she does do for now however small it might seem to you…and be gracious about it…if she didn’t have any feelings at all she wouldn’t go out of her way to send anything…but she has been…always act in kindness…and be grateful that your mom is still alive…
It’s sad but unfortunately is the case a lot. Enjoy the people who love and enjoy you and want a genuine relationship with your family. Sometimes that’s not blood relatives. It still hurts, I know, but your kids deserve to be truly loved
So sad I would never treat my grandkids any different i would love them all the same
Let it go. You are the only one in control of how you feel and respond. I’m sure it’s hurts but I wouldn’t let someone else’s actions bring me down. Don’t compare. Be your children’s joy.
This is how my mil is with our 3 year old, yet my husbands brother has a 6 yr old and newborn and she is very involved with them. I’m having another baby Tuesday, I’m sure it’ll be the same way with this one. I don’t let it bother me anymore, the people that want to be involved and see our kids will have a relationship with them but it’s not gonna be one sided. We keep our distance from family like this.
Maybe it’s fear because you mentioned that you and her didn’t get along. Maybe she’s scared to get attached to them and you’re going to get mad and tear them away. Maybe it’s not either thing. One can only guess but, no matter the reason, you’re not going to force her to be a part of your children’s life. I think it’s awesome that she sends gifts and does what she does. My mother-in-law has not bought my children a gift or seen them in at least a year now.
Unfortunately with relationships we get our cues from others and if your relationship with her has always been strained and full of resentment then unfortunately her motivation to step into a relationship with your children is going to also be strained. It’s sad and not fair to your kids but unfortunately humans don’t be nature want to step into a situation that they a fearful of. She is probably protecting her own heart. I don’t want this to sound like your to blame because your definitely not, but someone has to be the bigger person here and if you truly want your mum and your kids to have a relationship then you be the one to make that happen… remember you are not your sister, her relationship with your mum is there business and yours is yours and they will never ever be the same. good luck
do you think she bonded differently because your kids are adopted? I totally don’t mean it in a bad way…some people just bond differently when its blood relation as opposed to not. Im so sorry you feel like your kids are not as important to your parents… i would just focus on those who dote on your babies…as long as the kids dont feel any less loved then it should be ok…
Your mom’s an idiot.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't make an effort to see my kids: Advice?
I hate to even say it but does she have an issue about you adopting? Personally, it doesn’t matter to me. I never say I have an adopted person in my family, they are just family. I do have someone in my family that does differentiate between blood kids/grandkids and not, which is absolutely asinine to me. If that’s it, you need to clear the air and ask why. Hopefully in time, she will come around and see the error of her ways.
Honestly, she probably doesn’t have the same attachment because they are adopted.
She probably wanted you to have biological children, and doesn’t feel the same connection. Its nobody’s fault, and she is being as nice as she can be I am sure. But she probably doesn’t see them as her grandchildren and there is nothing wrong with that. They just aren’t her actual grandkids. Thats life. Adoption is a screwed up mess for everyone involved.
She’s a narcissistic parent
I am sorry but adopted children they are so precious because they were not asked to be born I don’t know I have a step-granddaughter he came into our lives at the age of three and we love her as our own grandchild I never treat her different she is 30 years of age now and we love her dearly adopted children are precious they should be loved as your own I do not know you but sending prayers
Have you ever spoke to her about her let her know how you feel
Ask her straight out about it and see what she says
jgnore it and u are not justified. u live 3 hours away from her. i wouldn wanna drive 3 hrs to see family. dont get moody over the amazon gifts either. atleast shes getting them stuff. she could be not getting them anything at all. she could be like this cause the kids aren blood related. not everyone thinks adopted kids as ‘theirs’
You cannot force another person to love another or to love us, sadly there are parents who love some children and grandchildren more, children need all the affection of their parents, they do not need anyone else.
Kind of a two way street. You want her to come see your kids, but do you go to her equally? I don’t know. Do you rotate calls and also try to put in 50/50? She sends gifts, but ever though in return sending her flowers from the kids? Or maybe invite her on outings or for weekend stay to interact with the little ones? Maybe some ideas that may help bring you all closer together. Hope all gets better
Honestly neither of my parents have been involved with my kids. My mother has met them 3 times (they’re 3, 2, and 1). My father ha never met them. I had to have surgery on my youngest while pregnant with him, and neither of them called or even came to visit me then. He’s had 3 more surgeries since birth and at this very moment we are in the hospital for his fourth. No call, no checking in. It’s whatever to me, honestly I just learned to stop giving a shit. They got me, their dad, and their dad’s mom. She is absolutely amazing with the children.
If someone doesn’t love my kid, biological or not, they can kick rocks honestly.
Is your sister judgemental of your moms relationship with her children? Three hours is a long trip. Maybe encouraging and bringing them to her would help. When people have limitations they sometimes accept that things that aren’t possible when in reality it might be possible with a little teamwork. Sometimes grandparents want to develop relationships with the grandchildren without someone constantly evaluating the sincerity of a relationship that is hard to make sincere because it’s constantly being evaluated.
My grandmother would travel to Texas from Montana to see my cousin and Aunt but could NOT see us kids with in 20mins of her. She still now so many years later travels 1.5 to 2hrs to sees that same cousin and my other cousins and their kids but cannot and will not drive that same 20mins to see me and mine! I called her and also my Aunts out on it a couple years ago and cut them all out! Blocked them from my Facebook cause my aunt said she knows what’s going on in your life and I told her yea because so looks at my Facebook feed NOT once has she had a conversation with me about it!! So I unfriended them all and block them and told them until they can actually meet me with me and mine and learn about it then they do not get access to it. I had tried over and over but always got told they were to busy and couldn’t do it such and such weekend or time so I’d ask okay when works for you. But hmmmmm Never seemed to work… so I gave up and told them my Boys wouldn’t go through the same with them. This was 3yrs ago and I do not regret it at all! And they still have not tried to reach out. They all have my phone number and have never called or texted. Which I told them hit me for dinner or lunch at anytime I’ll even pay since it would be my 2 boys and I and just 2 of them so we’ve cost more. Even through the Pandemic NOTHING! Oh well! My grandpa even was hospitalized with Covid and still nothing. They do not care and nothing will change. I have no regrets for making sure my boys do not experience the same treatment.
She loves ur sister more so she loves her babies more. I know how u feel.
She is missing out on her grandkids life
Jesus, she sounds toxic and I wouldn’t want yo leave them with her if it was me.
My mil does this with her grandkids. However both of her grandkids are mine. She dotes on my daughter and acts like my son is a nuisance. You can see the disappointment in his eyes and he screams everytime I leave him with her bc they don’t have a relationship.
Just my thoughts…if your relationship is strained then maybe she feels awkward trying to visit etc…on a visit thats probably uncomfortable…on a phone call it could be awkward…as far as Amazon boxes…why not appreciate the fact that she was obviously thinking about the kids and searched for something she could send them! Do the kids care the boxes aren’t wrapped or is that just a bug to you? Most kids are happy anytime something is delivered to them.
I believe maybe you(just you) need to make a trip to your moms and have an honest calm rational conversation with her…stop letting her relationship with your sister etc play a role in your relationship with her.
I feel sure your kids know the animosity between y’all or at least feel it.