I need to know if I am overreacting or not…my mom babysits my 5 month old and over the weekend she gave him oatmeal for the first time…i was kinda mad when she told me this because he is too young…also i wanted to be there for the first time he ate solid food…I dont have any other options but to send my son there again as I do not have a babysitter…but i am so upset with her…how do I let her know I do not want to start solids at this point? She constantly does the opposite of what I say…
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If you are really upset with your Mother pay a babysitter or daycare (they are literally everywhere) and I’ll bet you re-evaluate your priorities. Almost guarantee your Mom is sitting for free, just to spend time with her grandchild.
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Oatmeal isn’t a solid food and it’s definitely not too young at 5months. I’m sure she didn’t realize it was a big deal to you. I’d have a conversation with her to make sure your both on the same page
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Granny is gonna make sure those babies eat!!! And those babies are gonna love it! 
Seriously tho…You said she does the opposite of what you say so I don’t know what you can say. If you don’t want her to give him solids then you have an expensive decision to make!!
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I started baby oatmeal at 5 months with all 5 of my children…even put a little in bottles with formula
Yeah I know some will scorn me but hey they are all still alive 
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I fed my son solids at 3 months at the advice of my mom. It didn’t hurt him and he’s still alive. In all seriousness pick your battles she’s not abusing him. Just talk to her and let her know how you felt.
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I’m actually remembering that daycare gave my daughter her first real finger food too (cheerios) at 6 months which I wasn’t sure she was ready for but she ate a whole cup. It’s just tough both ways: when someone else is in charge of the baby all day and when you wanted to experience it yourself on your own timeline.
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It astounds me how many people’s parenting philosophy is “it didn’t kill them”…like have higher standards…Do you momma, don’t let the negativity get to you. You are the mom and know what’s best for your child.
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Just simply say “no more food until I give the go ahead” be blunt but nice.
Every parent is different. Oatmeal wasn’t a bad choice but yes missing out on firsts hurts and shouldn’t have happened. Baby isn’t to young to have some oatmeal and some other solids. You can start small at 4 months. Both my boys were getting oatmeal in their bottles early anyway. My youngest was actually getting it at 2 weeks because he was such a little piggie. You’re doing the best you can mama. Hang in there. Plenty of more firsts to come.
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She raised you and seems like you survived, so let her do whatever
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My granddaughter was eating oatmeal early also . I think your mom wasn’t trying to do anything wrong
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So many people don’t understand boundaries, the child isn’t her mothers, so her mother shouldn’t be doing things without asking her permission… the fact that she did that knowing she wanted to be there for her child’s first solid meal is awful. And she shouldn’t be doing the opposite of what she says when it is her child. Tell her and be very blunt, to follow and respect your boundaries.
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My mother started my son on bottle cos I breast fed and solids I was too ill but very grateful xx bui can understand you wanting to do things yourself cos I did miss out on alot with my son looking back but at the time it was helpful x
You should be grateful that she’s babysitting for you
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The comments tho! Doesnt matter if mom sitting for free or not. This is her child and if she is not ready then it’s just that! You are definitely NOT overreacting
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You’re being a little bit Petty I’m sure she wasn’t doing it maliciously
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How many children did she raise?She raise you didn’t She.
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Yeah I’ll probably get a lot of grief but oatmeal is something good to feed them at that age so is a race type oatmeal or even the formula it fills them up it’s not bad for them I raised both my girls on it and when I watch my grandchildren that it to them only difference is I did let my daughter know but I had done and she knew if I gave it to him because I gave it to her and her sister it’s all good would never hurt my grandchild and I’m sure she never meant to hurt her grandchild or to go against you just what we grandma do we’ve had them first and you guys came out okay
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If you don’t give her boundaries now, it will never get better
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“How do I let her know I do not want to start solids at this point?” I don’t know…tell her? It sounds like you didn’t give her detailed instructions of your expectations to begin with. You left the child in her care, if you don’t think she can make minute decisions during the course of the day on her own then you should have left explicit instructions. If you have seriously considered alternative care over an unspoken expectation, then i definitely think that’s what you should do. As a grandmother, if my grandchild was left in my care I too would think it is okay to make decisions regarding their care with me. If you want to treat your mother like a daycare and not the child’s grandmother, then I suggest you go pay a daycare provider.
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Grandma’s do that sometimes a little oatmeal is not going to hurt
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I’m more curious as to why you are waiting to start solids at 5 months most are ready for some type of baby cereal/food by 5 months. But before you can expect someone to follow your rules you have to set clear boundaries and clarify what the rules are so I just try talking to her first and if she doesn’t agree or can’t comply then I guess you have to decide whether or not pay someone to watch your child.
You are not overreacting. He is your child, not your mother’s. Your child, your rules. If she cannot follow them, I wouldn’t have her around him because she will break other boundaries too.
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Y’all do know Grandparents right? Gonna miss a lot of firsts if you work outside the home would you rather a daycare worker share them or grandparents? Studies show kids do better with grandparents actively with involved in their upbringing, they bring stability, safety, continuity and a host of other benefits. Sounds like the parent has some unresolved issues be it resentment at having to work outside the home or with her mother. Either way for herself and her child she needs to work thru them or pay a daycare to raise her child for her 8 hours a day.
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Um tell her ? I honestly started my son on rice cereal and baby food around 5 almost 6 months . It’s your choice when you want to start baby food . Also babysitters are everywhere . Ya they can be expensive but if it’s such a big deal she fed him oatmeal take him elsewhere. I’m sure your mom doesn’t charge you and enjoys watching her grand child and I don’t think she is trying to harm the child
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If he or she was my grandchildren they can eat oatmeal no different than baby food but fresh made don’t let that bother you at least they were fed and loved by their mamaw .Surely don’t be mad about it or upset just let her know if she feeds him different things you need to know because of allergies or the break out or have a fever with hives n such .Calm down. Momma mammaw will keep the baby as safe as nature will let her.
She always does the opposite of what you say and that’s a problem. Also no solids till 6 months is common knowledge now.
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First world problems, I’d be happy if my mother babysat for me and introduced my baby to solids you have a whole life time of watching your kid eat what’s the big deal
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Its flipping oatmeal. Geez. I hope grandma sees this and tells you to put him in daycare. Knowing some stories youd probably gratefully change your tune quick. BTW…you’re overreacting.
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Set the boundary and if she doesn’t stick to it don’t let her around the baby anymore. There are places that will help with daycare and babysitting if you need it! That is YOUR baby and it should be raised how you feel is right!!
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I was a 9 1/2 pound newborn, and my mom said the nurses started putting cereal in my bottles at the hospital! Formula alone wasn’t cutting it for me! Lol! Granted, this was almost 50 years ago, but I am not allergic to anything at all, and it certainly didn’t hurt me in any way.
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I don’t consider oatmeal a solid food since babies this age start on baby oatmeal…but that doesn’t matter. You are the mother and what you say goes regardless of rather your over reacting or not. Sit down with your mom and discuss what your uncomfortable with and if she keeps breaking the rules you set for your child then she won’t be able to babysit anymore and you will have to find another sitter.
you know you didn’t say how old you were. obviously your mother fed you all these years and you didn’t die. and whatever she fed you was obviously good enough for you and I’m sure you might have ate oatmeal at that age and just don’t remember. man I’m telling you what some people just don’t stop to think about what they’re talking about
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I guess when your baby start cutting teeth crawling ,sitting up an etc. On her clock ,that’s her fault 2 …don’t shame your mom bless her heart for helping you ,you sound petty to me ,obviously nothing is wrong with you ,sure she fed it to you…bad l ain’t the grandma , an l am sure if you mentioned it to her before hand sure yall could of done it together so you both could have experienced it , just saying
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Im a infant teacher and we feed them jar food at 4mon with cereal…8 mon regular food…but if i see there having a problem chewing then i use jar food for back up…at 5 months the child probably wasnt satisfied with just milk
Oatmeal is safe, so a little over reacting on that part
However
You wanted to be there for his first solid meal, she she’s not doing what you wish when it comes to your kid so you have a right to be upset about that.
Just tell her no more solids until you give your baby solids
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Oatmeal is soft not solid I think your OK just have a word with her that you want to start him on solids x
The only two problems with this situation is that she didn’t ask first. The second one is that she stole a first that you will never get back and that’s not okay. Shame her and make it be known that is not ok and under no circumstances to ever do it again. Tell her ask before she ever does anything.
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Who cares If you guys gave solid food to your babies when they were a week old , it’s her child and she wants to wait , and her mom should respect her decision on how she wants to raise HER baby , if she always do thinks like this she is not going to change and will continue to do whatever she wants with your baby .
You should start looking for a babysitter or a daycare
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If u don’t like what your mother does. Hire a babysitter and shut up.
Oh man. The things some of y’all pick to bitch about is wild. Oatmeal over rice. It wasn’t in a bottle. You don’t die from it. My kid started oatmeal and bm mixed on a spoon here and there at THREE months because he me reflux was soooooooo bad the dr recommended one last try before meds. She’s 10000000% okay like 90% of the kids out there that also ate before 6 months. Don’t feed em garlic bread and spaghetti but you get what I mean…
Gee idk, tell her? Like you just told the world lol. Why is communicating so damn hard.
Be thankful your Mother is still here and able to help you.
Have a conversation? Why are some adults so reluctant to just TALK? Simple as “Hey mom I’d rather you didn’t feed him food right now, thanks”
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I would think starting solid foods would be discussed and agreed.
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I just can’t 
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It’s time for you to grow up and act like an adult.
While I can see why you’re upset. I think this is a choose your battle type of situation. My son was starting oatmeal and baby food at 4 months. Maybe mention that you’re feelings are hurt as you’re the baby’s mom and you wanted to see the first reaction to eating food. But, ultimately your mom is saving you not only a lot of money but peace of mind. Daycare is scary, I had incidents where they were putting my 7 month baby in the toddler room and he was getting chunks bitten out of him, they didn’t feed him for an entire week because if he couldn’t feed himself they wouldn’t take the time to feed him. At that time he didn’t even have teeth so he was still being fed jar food. So, keep in mind, your baby is in a safe loving place with grandma. & you’re also not paying daycare which is so expensive.
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How long are you gonna starve your baby for. My kids were eating beans and rice among other things by that age.
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Be upset, talk to your mom and then Find a babysitter that gets paid for their work problem solved. Having a child in daycare will have you missing a lot of firsts it is just part of being a working parent unfortunately and you have to decide if those missed firsts is going to happen in a facility with strangers or in a home with a family member who obviously loves your child.
I started all my kids on oatmeal at 4 months, plus my grandchildren also too. You seem to be more upset about missing a 1st, but sorry Mama if you work and aren’t home with your children you will miss a lot more 1st! I was a child care giver for 25 years so I could also stay with my children so I didn’t miss a single 1st with my babies
She’s your mother and knows what she is doing, seems you survived her …If you don’t like it get a baby sitter …
Your alive aren’t you? I mean your mom isn’t gonna give your baby anything that would hurt him🙄
My kids and grandkids started eating this and rice cereal at 5months …be grateful you have a mom to help you!!! Babysitters are expensive and ya never know all about them …at least you know your mom!!
You SHOULD be giving him baby oatmeal and cereal now, what are you waiting for?
I think it is ok for him to have and he is old enough if healthy that is but I would talk to her about doing things with your baby before you do that was not right.
Is she babysitting for free…
…put him in daycare or be quiet!!!
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OMG people stop with the mental break down over this crap, the child at 5 months can eat certain foods! Both mine were eating cereal at 1 month of age, by the time they were 6 months were allowed to eat certain table foods and even real milk. Look you are here, you survived and I bet you ate oatmeal at 5 months.
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Only option for babysitting…key words… rather than get yourself worked up about it talk about it. Not sure why it needs to be a battle? Grandparents sometimes take over but just talk about it…
Be grateful you have a mother to help you.
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Explain you wanted to be there for the first time…
I would be concerned too. My mom was a nurse and asked me everytime, when she had my 4 kids , what to do if they had a fever. Bring the food portioned.
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You don’t, you can ask her and explain your reasons. Maybe get some info for her to read (things have changed a lot over the years) but ultimately if u dont like how she takes care of your kid then find someone else. 
You should thank God you have a mother that is willing to take care of your baby . I would not want to put my baby or child in a daycare . Sometimes terrible things happen to children there . My sister takes care of her 5 year old grandson and her 7 month old niece because my niece has to work . She is a single mother . My sister takes very good care of those babies and nobody else could take her place in their little lives . Appreciate your mother .She loves that baby .
Just stop! Consider yourself lucky if this is your biggest problem!
Sounds like this is your first baby. I’m sure your mom is not trying to kill your baby. Just tell her not yet,
Pick ur battles wisely when it comes to ur parents being grandparents I promise it won’t be the first or last she oversteps meaning to or not, my mother did the same but at the same time my mother has gotten me through motherhood as a big support system… it’s done and over with now if ur not comfortable definitely sit down and explain ur feelings more likely than not she probably figured he was already taking oatmeal as they just switched it all up in the last few years bc my drs encouraged me to give my kids oatmeal due to them always being hungry… unfortunately you can’t get that first back but u can prepare for future first and I also promise there will be so many don’t beat urself up everytime u miss one bc it does happen ur one person and u can’t be everywhere at once… appreciate ur mothers help even if she over stepped but also be very clear with what the boundaries are… my daughters grandparents went behind my back and had a private 1st birthday party with the great grandparents with out inviting me or her dad we just happened to stop in to check on our daughter and walk in on it… mind u we were already planning and had already invited everyone to her actual birthday… it was an ugly situation but when I think back on it I’m glad they wanted to be that involved my daughter great grandma has since passed but my daughter has beautiful memories to hold on to forever and some are because they over stepped my boundaries, I know they will always put my daughter first regardless on what it is
He’s 5 months old. Feed the child. She probably did it without your permission because she knew you would push back and she knew the kid needed to eat. 
You have free child care and you’re mad because she fed your hungry baby? This makes zero sense!
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The comments are wild! If it bothers you and you feel as the mother of the child, YOUR child isn’t ready for solids then tell her how you feel and let her know it isn’t acceptable moving forward!! (you have every right to feel how you feel, research shows they shouldn’t get food before 6 months) just because Suzy gave her kids food at 3 months and “they are fine” doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do…lots of parents smoked with kids in the car “they are fine, and alive” doesn’t make it correct. We did full on road trips sleeping on the floor in a van with no seatbelts yea alive and fine still not right.
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She was probably tired of him fussing because he was hungry all the time. If she’s keeping him for free, she needs to be able to feed him so he isn’t crying all the time.
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It’s your child and it’s your rules. Let your mom know when you plan on starting solids and tell her not to feed them again until you give the go ahead. You know your mom more than anyone. Her intent was most likely not malicious but you still need to be respected as a parent.
Be grateful… Or the alternative is very simple. Make accomodations to watch YOUR own child.
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If you want your kids first you might want to be there all day , first steps first words sometimes happen when a parents at work… be glad you have someone that loves him or her to care for them…
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Bless your heart. Your mom raised you, and you’re still alive! Upset for what? Be there when he first eats solid foods why?
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You can still have that first when you feed him oatmeal. Get too angry with your mom and you’ll be watching your own kid, or she’ll not tell you what she’s giving baby.
Have a respectful conversation with her about your wants it to find someone else to do it. I’m sure she can find something more fun and less stressful than watching a baby all-day.
You have to stop sending your kid to disrespectful child care. Family or not. Continuously disrespecting parents about their child is a quick way to have less time with them.
She should of asked you !
Pay a babysitter. Problem solved . Don’t be petty
You’re a working mother. You are going to miss out on firsts, whether you want to or not. Deal with it. At 5 months old, introducing solids like cheerios, bananas, baby food/purée, pablum (baby cereal) and oatmeal (made with milk or water) is not a bad thing. Don’t sweat the small stuff. You’re incredibly lucky to have your mom’s help. Chill.
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My mom gave my son dried beef gravy at 4 months. I was excited for both of them to share this experience. He loved it and still does.
You’re over reacting. She fed you, didn’t she? She’s experienced. She fed your baby, I’d be worried if she didn’t feed your baby.
Get a grip of yourself 
I would have a conversation with my child’s pediatrician and ask for a food schedule specific to my child so I can hand it to Grandma and let her know we need to follow the doctors schedule.
Nothing should be given before 6 months & all signs of readiness are met.
Don’t like the way your mother feeds the kids. She did a good job raising you. Don’t like it, maybe you should think about daycare, and hope they follow your instructions. I never complained about my mother taking care of my girls. Just saying
She is your mum. She knows alot more to this parenting gig. But you as HIS mother understandable your emotions. He’s at the age he can be though.
Coming from a mother of 5.
Nothing wrong with oatmeal
Yes you are overreacting. Goodness lady you have many other things to worry about if that’s all you got then you have it made. It seems you are jealous of the fact your mom will see and experience many first with the child. Let it go and enjoy the gift of your child has a grandparent will to care and love your child.
Tell your mom she is NOT his parent, she is a grandparent aka baby sitter for that day.
My son started getting oatmeal in his formula at 2 weeks old, because he was such a big baby. The oatmeal won’t hurt him, and I assume it’s more about you missing seeing him eat it. My mother watched my son after he was born, and I missed many firsts. Be grateful he’s experiencing these things with a loving grandma, and not a stranger at daycare. At least you know grandma always has his best interests at heart, and not someone just getting paid to do a job.