My mum wanted to know if we were going to go around for Christmas lunch or Christmas dinner and then lost it at me when I said I don’t know because it depends on if the baby’s here or not, but either way, we wanted to spend it with just us as our own little family, and when I suggested maybe doing a family Christmas meal like she wants a few day earlier or later she went even more nuts because what if my step sister wants it on a different day to us, to me it shouldn’t matter what my stepsister wants to do I’m the one who might have a new born or be popping one out any day around then, thank you in advance
23 Likes
Do what makes you comfortable and given your situation congrats by the way!! and 2020 being an a**hat I don’t think you should have to feel guilty. Its ok to want your first Christmas to be yours! Especially with as far a long as you will be and the unkniwn. you didn’t say you wouldn’t celebrate the holiday you just stated dinner might not happen. As far as people saying she’s your mom it could be your last well that may be true but everyday could be your last for anyone so don’t let that bother you either. I hope you manage to find your answer and just remember as long as you and your spouse are ok with your arrangement and healthy nothing else matters!! Sorry I can’t help
1 Like
In my opinion, if you are going to do a family dinner than all family should be included in the date and time. If you choose not to go them so be it. That’s your right. I like having dinners with just my household. I was with you until the whole “What my step sister says shouldn’t matter”. Your opinion or decisions don’t trump anyone elses. Not trying to be rude but yea…Since you are pregnant, having you dinner with your household would probably be better anyways. Let your mom be mad.
2 Likes
Assuming you’re an adult, do as you like. Your mom sounds like a drama queen, so just ignore it. You’re about to be a mother yourself, she should understand that you new little family comes first. Do it ahead of time to ease stress. Set up a time and day and stick to that regardless of adults throwing toddler-like tantrums.
8 Likes
Christmas is important to families and she wants to be with u. It’s normal. However with a newborn born right at that time and with covid around it’s NOT a good idea. Do it small and personal and keep it simple a day before or after… …the day is not important as no one knows the exact day of Christmas anyway. Try and be distantly inclusive. Good luck…holidays can be hard to juggle with different families
1 Like
Ur mum sounds pretty selfish. Tell her no. U dont even need to explain to her as she should understand completely and should be helping u to not stress about xmas, not being the one who is stressing u out at this time.
3 Likes
Personally I believe Christmas is about family and bringing everyone together. My brother went away for Christmas once and I was devastated and so were my kids. There was definitely something missing with him not being there. Yes you will have a new baby but everyone will be there to help and they want to see, meet and spend time with the little one. You have all year to be just your own little family why choose Christmas day?
I did the same when my son was born in November. I just said I wasn’t comfortable traveling with ice, snow, new baby and we wanted our own celebration at home. My parents and in laws each came separately so we got to have 3 intimate stress-free gatherings at our house. Suggest she come to you. Babies will make Grandmas do anything! 
Also COVID, NO NEED TO EXPLAIN
3 Likes
My MIL is similar in wanting stuff her way and her way only. She gets what she gets if she won’t work with us. Past years I was more tolerant about it because my husband has a daughter from 1st marriage. But I have a son now so Either she gets on board or she doesn’t. And with covid, rsv and the flu its not worth exposing them to people they are not usually around anyways or you and your partner at that
6 Likes
Do what you need to do for YOUR family and let your mother throw her fit by herself.
4 Likes
Sounds like she needs to consider your needs in this situation.
1 Like
I felt this way with my first baby had her 2 weeks before Christmas…just wanted it to be me her and her dad as this was now our family…we couldn’t choose between going his parents and mine without offending anyone so we just said Christmas day we stay home…boxing day we travel to see other family and usualy have a dinner at either or parents one Boxing day the other new year x
I would have told her no. That I would not have wanted to make a decision when I know I could be giving birth any day.
Especially with COVID.
I gave birth in October 2018 and I told everyone to give me 1-2 weeks to myself and husband while we adjusted having a newborn.
And if they did not respect that decision then they dont need to come visit.
1 Like
Mums def get upset , mums def like to rule the roost but not in a mean way it’s like all those blood sweat and tears of raising kids is rewarded by Christmas dinners , birthdays , weddings and all those other celebrations that pop up . Any way it’s ok to have your own desires with your own family esp being you are just about to have a baby yourself it will work out just keep in mind mums do get disappointed at times and perhaps acknowledge this with your mum she will come round it’s when you gob them off that hurts like not acknowledging their disappointment and one last thing your children will disappoint you one day that’s a fact.
1 Like
Go ahead with your plans for your own little family. Let your mom deal with whatever her “own” issues are. If she controls things now imagine how she’ll be when the baby is here. I have an adult daughter and I always support her with her decisions. 
1 Like
So my youngest sons bday is december 21st. I deat with this almost 3 years ago when he was born. We stayed home. I told everyone i wasnt going out because i have a newborn. So they all came to us and the ones mad about it stayed away
2 Likes
Older mom here-
My children are 28 and 25. As a mom we want the family to be together for the Holidays. We plan and call and plan and call. Then we get “we don’t know, if we are coming.” Or not sure (basically children are waiting for a better offer and do not want to commit.)
Then 4 days before children decides. Ok we are coming and expect us to all it all ready. I remember doing this to my mother, too. I remember her finally losing it and saying we will celebrate Thanksgiving at 1:00 sharp and food put away at 1:45. If you want to show up great if not fine.
I am doing this exact thing this year. I don’t want to wait around to see if my children want to come or not.
Now you said you have having a baby… totally understandable you don’t want to take the baby out. Then say that …but when you take the baby everywhere else (store, nail salon, Walmart) it makes us feel taken for granted.
1 Like
A parent has too accept that when their children get married that they have two families now so when the Holidays come around they have to split up their time. When my children got married, I realized that and that was ok. I didn’t want to make it hard on them. So I accepted that. I told them whatever they had to do, do it. But do you know what what my three sons said , mom we’ll be home for Christmas cause it wouldn’t be Christmas if we didn’t come home! That made my Christmas!!! I Love my 3 Sons to the moon and back.
We go to my grandparents for holidays they have always been lunch will be at noon Sharp and dinner is at 6 sharp if u show up you show up if not you don’t doesn’t matter yes they want everyone there but stuff happens and they understand I don’t think that u should be think ur situation trumps over anyone else if u don’t want to go don’t go
Birth of your baby trumps, no pun intended, the holiday dinner. You could deliver early, late, only baby knows. Have your own holiday dinner,
My mom is trying to guilt me into taking my son to my sister’s house in PA like we usually do. I live in Indiana and am not really sure I’m comfortable with us driving our 4 year old to PA and being in a house with not only my sisters family but also my parents who are from NY. Not to mention I work in a preschool and my mom is high risk
I have had similarities on both my side of the family and on my wife’s side. After trying to accommodate for years, we finally said enough. We began having Holidays with our little family. Then we would go see extended family as we could. Usually on the weekends.
We have always went to Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving for both families regardless of pregnancies or births. kids born in april, december and january. Family is important to us.
Your mom sounds kind of selfish to be honest
The family you come from is important but the family you create is your number one priority
1 Like
I had my son on dec 23 by csection and I got to come home on xmas moring no way in heck did i want to plan xmas with anyone I wanted to stay home and rest with my new born and my 13 month old and husband… Honestly family who act like this dont need to be around anyways. They could wait and play it by ear or just plan something a different time. And if it makes her unhappy so be it you do what u need to for u and ur new baby no one else
Love family when you can. Because they die at the blink of an eye
No brainer! Just do what you want!
Growing up has never come the easier way. It comes with lots of challenges like lost marriages, lost love, financial and job problems and so many more, but still there has always been a solution to every challenges that we face in life. Life has been so difficult for me these past few months and I had given up on myself knowing that I will not find love or true happiness again. Two months ago I found out I was pregnant and I was so happy and excited to have my own baby and I didn’t even call my boyfriend. I just wanted to take the results to him and show him face to face and share the good news together. But when I reached his flat I saw his car parked outside and knew he was home so I went straight to his room. When I knocked, he allowed me to enter because he wasn’t expecting me at the time, but when i opened the door I nearly fainted because I caught him ready handed with another woman in his house. I looked at them and closed the door and ran away, he followed me saying his sorry and the woman is just a friend and nothing else but I knew he was lying and I walked away. I reached home and cried a lot until i told my best friend everything and she told me to fight for my man and not loose him to another woman. She gave me Sir Marere contact +2348109805184 email is: marerespells@gmail. com and told me Sir Marere will bring back my boyfriend to me and love only me. So i contacted Sir Marere and told her everything, he made a love and binding prayers for me and in 1 day of the prayers my boyfriend came to me with that woman I saw him with and knelt down and begged for my forgiveness and told the woman that am the love of his life and he doesn’t ever want to see her again. The woman walked away and that evening my man came back with a baked cake and gifts and flowers and asked for my forgiveness again and promised never to hurt me again and I told him that we are having a baby, he cried and smiled with joy and happiness. We are back together and so much in love and waiting for our baby to arrive. Thanks so much Sir Marere your prayers indeed work. You can call or whats-app Sir marere on +2348109805184 Email: marerespells@gmail. com incase you are passing through the same situation. Don’t be discouraged by what people may tell you that even don’t know the situation you are going through, all that matters are the results so feel free to contact him.
Wish I could have this problem…one more time.
2 Likes
There. Are. Exceptions. To. Every. Rule. My. Parents. Are. Gone. Me., My. Sisters & Brothers. All. Get. Together. On. Christmas. Eve. To. Spend. Time. Together. MY. Oldest. Son. Was. Born. Right. Before. Thanksgiving. But. If. He. Had. Came. Later. I. Would. Had. To. Just. Deal. With. It. Children. Come. When. They. Want. To. Your. Mother. Needs. To. Plan. On. You. Being. There. But. If. Things. Change. Understand.
I wouldn’t go don’t want the baby to get sick
5 Likes
Considering your not suppose to Cox covid.
I person wouldn’t risk anything at all your mum will be there on the 26th. As she will be before.
But baby will need be at home. We all no newborns should be home for first few weeks and since going be very cold winter. I’d stay your little (big) ass home. 
Your mum may have hump let her.
Your an adult now your not a child your about have your own child again.
So tell her that’s how your boat is rocking.
And if they have family dinner on day you can’t make don’t be diheartnebd
Also you can actually do a live speech at there dinner from your very front room it’s called call me on the phone mum.
Your mum prob wants family together. Etc.
But in her eyes it’s just feeding everyone in one place.
I have no family. So see things differently but if I did I would still think the same.
You’ve family at home. Needs spend time together.
Pressure isn’t good on a females pregnant body.
Have your say and stick to it my dear.
Its no brainer.
Does your mother want her grandchild be out and about why covid is about doubtful
Your not even allowed birthing partners.
Unless in labour. So no sorry baby comes first then mummy’s choices come first.
She family and should understand.
Don’t you dare ever let anyone talk you into something you don’t want to pregnant or not.
Can tell you a person don’t like to say no
You are perfectly in your rights to say no . darling