My husband, our son and myself live with my parents. My mom is ALWAYS criticizing my husband on everything. It’s always; you don’t work enough, you don’t make enough, you don’t do this right, you shouldn’t be hanging out with these people. She even criticizes our parenting; she does it in a way where she acts like we don’t know what we’re doing but doesn’t say it in those exact words. It’s always her way or the highway. She criticizes how we choose to discipline our son if we don’t discipline him enough. Just being in the same room as my mom is now starting to give me anxiety. I’ll be fine, and the moment she walks in the same room as me, sometimes I’ll start to have a panic attack. My husband is to the point where he can’t stand being in the same room as her. Honestly, I don’t blame him! My mother is also a control freak! She’s starting to make my husband feel like nothing he ever does is good enough. My husband is also starting to feel like she’s trying to push his family away. I don’t know what to do. The only option I see is getting our own place. Has anyone else dealt with this sorta thing? Any advice, please?
Ugh I would have a hard conversation with my mother for sure. If she doesn’t change her ways, then def start looking for your own place!
Best thing to do is get your own spot … for you and your family .
If it’s really that big of a problem move out!!
You have two options. Deal with it or move out.
Set some healthy boundaries and look at moving out
Um… yes? Move out?
Why are y’all still there? And why haven’t you put your mom in her place regarding your spouse?
I was always told-"two families can’t live together ".
Get your own place asap. Once you do, put a stop to her doing you that way.
My dad is the same way only I’m not married I am in a relationship we are actually in the process of trying to get a loan and buying a place. That kind of attitude is just too toxic, and your children don’t need to see you and your husband being spoken to like that either it sets a bad example. Get out as fast as you can while you can still salvage the relationship with your mom
Whoever makes the house payment gets to make the rules.
Do u really need someone to tell u that u should get ur own place??
Have a chat with your mom. Ask her if she had a parent or an inlaw that ever treated her or her husband like she does you guys and use examples of what she does. No not come straight out and ask her that use examples. Then ask her what she did to ready the situation.
Y’all need to get your own place… it sounds to me (strictly opinion) like she may be resentful having such a full house and pushes him because he’s the man and should be taking care of his family, not y’all bunking under her roof. Totally my opinion but it would make sense as to why she always nags him.
Time to move. Love your family, your husband and your mom. But for your sanity move.
My dad is likes to criticize everything I do one thing I don’t let him do is talk about me being a mother or anything about my children. I set anything he says really fast. Honestly I’d move out and say something back everytime she says something.
Get your own place
We ended up moving STATES away, just to run our own lives
When you have a family of your own, you should have your own place. I have three grown children living with me, 23, 21, and 19. They live in my house, they follow my rules. If they don’t like it, there’s the door.
Get your own place, no home is beg enough for two women-you are an adult but if you never leave the person who has always mothered you, she will ALWAYS mother you, he is an extension of you!
Definitely move but now that she’s gotten comfortable speaking to you like that it likely won’t change after you move. Boundaries need to be set or expect that every time she’s around your family
Definitely get your own place! Not only will it reduce the stress of living with someone, it will give y’all a sense of pride and accomplishment, not to mention your own lives, space and freedom. Go for it because it will only get worse if you don’t.
You need to move out, and both work
Was in the same boat , move out and visit them minimumly or not at all as they will do it without thinking as though it’s normal and it will get to you to the point where I don’t speak to my parents it’s said but they don’t know when to stop
It’s time to get your own place…I don’t know you or your financial situation as to why you and your family are living with your parents…but you definitely need to get out asap if you want to have a good relationship going forward with your mom plus a situation like that will put a strain on your marriage and it’s definitely not good for your children also
She is trying to make your husband be a man and support his family. Let’s face the facts, If it weren’t for her, you all would be homeless.
No advice, but I’m going through a similar thing. My fiancé, daughter, and I live with my fiancé’s dad and stepmom. His dad is great but tensions with his stepmom are building by the day. I stay home with our daughter, and since I don’t work I do house chores. But it’s to where I do literally EVERY household chore except their laundry and mowing grass/shoveling snow. I even pick up their two large dog’s poop. And I get scolded if chores aren’t done by a certain time of day. Keep in mind I take care of 7 month old, and I have to make dinner for everyone. We were threatened to be kicked out because I did the dishes in the afternoon instead of in the morning. The two dogs bark all day. (She online shops and Amazon or ups is here at least 3 times a day) they wake my daughter from naps and she won’t do anything about it. When my daughter is cranky (because of no naps) or if she’s really happy and vocal (just mumbles and squeaks) his stepmom says she “can’t handle it and I need to take her out of the room” which means I eat a lot of meals cold or just give up on eating that meal. We aren’t allowed to eat outside of the kitchen because of ants. His stepmom eats anywhere she wants which attracts ants and we get blamed. She constantly says she’s ashamed of my fiancé for not working enough (he works at least 10 hours a day 4-5 days a week). She barges into our room whenever she wants. She knows I breastfeed and I’m a private person about that, but she just comes in anyway. And when she does, she allows the dogs in our room, and they chew on my daughters toys. Sorry I ranted. We’re hopefully moving in the beginning of April if my fiancé gets the job he’s interviewing for. oh and she gives my daughter chocolate and candy without my permission. She’s got the “grandma can do anything” attitude
Never let ANYONE belittle your HUSBAND! Get away and have a happy life and marriage, life is too short to live that way.
Time to get your own place
Exactly. What I told my family my now Dead Mom is not living with us until the kids are gone, Heard enough when her mom live with us when I was a kid .
Get your own place. It could be she is also stressed with so many people there. Either way, having your own place you won’t have this happening
Get your own place??? Hes a grown man and clearly doesn’t provide properly lol. This is humerous
Of course you need to get your own place. A mother expects her partners partner to provide well for her and her family. That’s what adults do. I know things have been crazy lately but living in your parents home as adults with kids its going to cause conflict.
You can set strickter boundaries when you have your own home.
My husband and I stayed with my dad while moving between towns and having a new baby.
It was like this for 8 months and then we finally moved.
Now when it happens I can tell my dad that not everyone is perfect like him.
Move out. She feels like she gets a say because you live under her roof.
Get your own place. Never and I mean never let anyone disrespect your spouse. She has something to say then step up and defend him because you know if it were his family that talked down to you that you’d want him to defend you. Once it’s done so much then your spouse can feel a type of way towards you and that damage be undone and it’s something you allowed to happen. You’re allowing her to disrespect him, how would you feel if he stood back and let his mother talk down to you? Disrespect you? Treat you like you don’t do anything right? So step up. Move out and defend your husband.
You most definitely should move out. But everyone is always going to have an opinion about your life, but the only opinion that matters in yours. Ignore the negativity and politely say that it’s your life you will do with it what you please.
Move out… it will make your life much easier.
My advice move out her home her rules when you move out you can chose when you see her and where eg your home where you dictate the rules
Is there a reason you don’t have your own place? Really can’t complain when your living under someone else’s roof.
Just get your own place. You say you see that is your only option and you make it sound like it’s a horrible thing to just move out. But you need to. You are grown and have your own family.
Why don’t you get your own place?
Get your own place. Shouldn’t have to move your whole family into your parents. The fact had to means she may be right about some things,like him not providing well enough. Could be she just wants him to go provide and move y’all out bc doesn’t like the situation,but not gonna escape it living with her.
Get your own place. Adult.
Ummm get your own place… seriously…
Is this even a real question? Get your own place!!! You don’t need much space, budget & go off and adult
Her house, her rules…MOVE! You are married with a child STOP depending on your mother for support. GET YOUR OWN PLACE!
So you expect your Mother to be over joyed she is putting a Roof over the head of the MAN that suppose to be providing a roof for his Wife and child? I will never understand grown ADULTS with children living with thier parents and complaining about living with their parents? MOVE OUT you are Married with children, you shouldn’t be living with MOMMY!
I’m gonna say this 2 sides to every story
But be grateful you still have your mom and she was willing to even put roof over your head.
My mom pass in December and I’m pretty lost without her she was my best friend and she could say some pretty nasty harsh things to me and my hubby and sometimes our kids.
But my mother always there no matter what and she loved her grandchildren dearly.
Love your elders and take time for them they will not always be around
If you have the means, then your best option is to move out before things go out of hand…from now till you are able to move, a lot of harsh words could be said, and sometimes its hard to overlook. I wish you all the best…
Her home ,her rules.
if you don’t like it get out ,it’s simple.
Definitely get your own place.
Get your own place for sure…
If moving out and getting your own place is an option, do it as soon as possible.
Wow! Why are you as an adult allowing it to carry on? Your mum is bullying both yourself and your hubby. Get out and set strict standards for when she visits, if you even let her
Get your own place living with others is always hard and mothers are mothers the way she’s handling things might not be right but older generations are very blunt and say what’s on there mind maybe she feels your hubby isn’t doing right by his family not saying the way she’s doing it is right but that’s just how older generations are and she might be getting stressed and exhausted and she’s handling it I’m the wrong way that’s your mom and she’s giving you a place to stay but get your own place than you can say what you want and set boundaries and if she’s saying something to your husband than stand up and say something
Yes from my mother but it’s nothing I do that’s good enough. My ex was an Angel to her. He could do nothing wrong. And when he left me it was all my fault. She asks my adult children to do things for her and they can’t because they are working and it’s my fault. I raised them wrong. I can never win. And I give up.
Ummmm…your mother is right. She’s got two adults and their child living in her house because they aren’t supporting themselves. Grow up and get out.
The only way is for you guys to move out ASAP then all them problems will go away! Keep your mother at a distance and if she acts the same way in your own home then tell her off and throw her out!
She has a right to her opinion your living in her home she’s probably not gonna make it easy if she lets you be too comfortable you’ll never move out
You know the only solution…gtfo!
Please get an efficiency apartment if you guys can at least afford that so both of you can have some peace OR have a serious sit down talk with your mom.
Yes…get yr own place…problem solved!
like many others why dont you get another place to live its her house so get your own
Advice … move out and get your own place whether it’s buying or renting. You’re married have a family and should be on your own anyways
Reassure him always. Don’t let her cause him to feel this way if he is doing all he can. I don’t know the reason why ya’ll are living there so unlike others I’m not going to criticize that. Parents can be overbearing even when they’re children are adults. She is not the only mother like this on the child ordeal. Get ya’lls money right, move and prove her wrong.
Talk to her about it and see if there is a solution and also try and find your own place. Its not good to live with inlaws
Never allow someone to bad mouth your significant other.
Perhaps she has a reason?
Yeah it’s really going to be important to get your own place. I have been in that situation where I needed a parents support to get on my feet but they resented it and acted this way. Best to get out if there asap
This is the price you pay when living with family unfortunately. Only option is to move. Good luck.
Yup get your own place. Grown children are not meant to live with their parents unless of course you are taking care of them in their old age.
Get your own place , there isn’t room in one house for toe family’s, Never:
Daughters Of Abusive Mothers
Your mom sounds really toxic. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. If you’re financially able to, I’d get your own place and then cut contact for a while.
Move out and address this immediately with her.