My mom doesn’t want to go out with me and my 2 daughters to an arcade today because my nephews aren’t allowed to play games. I gave them MANY chances to earn back their privileges they just had to mind. They couldn’t do it so I said no games for them now I’m the bad guy because “kids should be treated equal” my kids are 1 and 2. My 2 year old listens so well. Nephews ages range from 5-8. I don’t think a kid should be able to play and have fun if all they do is fight and not listen to a single thing ANY adult tells them. I would treat my kids the same. Don’t eat and sister does? Sis gets dessert and the other doesn’t. In the real world nobody is treated exactly alike. Just because one person gets a raise or goes on vacation doesn’t mean all the others do as well.
What’s the reasoning on why your nephews are acting out? Are they visiting you and miss their parents? Did their parents lose custody and you ended up with them? There’s a reason to them acting out so you can punish them all you want but until you can get to the reason why it’s not going to do any good until then. Once the reason why is figured out then come up with a solution.
Your aren’t wrong. Those kind of times need to be earned. Not just be given out. This is what is wrong with so many of the kids today. No one makes the accountable for the actions.
I don’t see a 1-2 year old enjoying an arcade. Are you taking the girls just to punish the boys? But even worse is withholding food while allowing the 2 year old to eat in front of them? I’m a mental health professional and work with at risk youth. I can tell you this is borderline abuse. Please, for the sake of those little boys give them to someone who will love and appreciate them. If I was your mom I would see to it that you were removed from caretaker.
I think each situation is different, like the gentleman said above we all don’t know the whole situation and it’s honestly not our business. However I will suggest either finding a baby sitter or something like that. I feel like taking them and forcing them to watch is a little much. Making them stay behind is punishment enough.
Well not taking them to arcade at all is same affect, they still don’t get to play, so why do they need to be there. Weather they go , and can’t play, or just don’t get to go is literally the same treatment or do you get some sick pleasure about seeing them upset they can’t play.
Do you have custody of your nephews? If not then frankly you have no say over discipline.
Your mom says they need to be treated equally. Sounds like they are. You’re disciplining them the same. You reward them for good behavior, punish for bad. That’s equal. It’s their behavior that isn’t equal.
It sounds like they may be acting out because they’re bored. I struggle with this with my kids. They don’t listen, give me attitude etc. It’s because they’re bored.
If you have custody of your nephews try a reward system. For example if they go an hour without fighting you they get a penny in a jar. If they fill the jar they get a trip to the arcade. Don’t focus on the negative. If A & B get a penny that hour & C doesn’t don’t even mention it to C. If he complains, argues just say “hopefully you’ll get the penny next time”. Don’t get pulled into an argument, easier said than done.
Punishment needs to fit the crime 
Actions have consequences, if you asked them plenty of time to behave and they refused they should be punish accordingly.
You should keep your word and not allow them to play .
I will take them so they can see others playing and having fun.
Why are you taking a 1 and 2 year old to an arcade?
Hoping for them to get sick or something?
If I was grandma I’d stay home with the boys 
Correct. Fun activities are earned. But I also think it’s very mean to take them with and make them watch. If they aren’t allowed to play, they can stay home.
I always taught my kids there are consequences to actions. Good or bad
You have a right to raise your kids how you want, the same way your mom has a right to feel however she wants towards her grandchildren.
Ur in right they have learn or they not be great as they get older
Don’t listen. You are doing it right mama.
I see a little self privilege here ,just my intuition that you treat your own children a little bit different than your nephews. Wait til your children are this age and see if they are still little angels.
You are the one who is right. Otherwise if you brought them and allowed them to play, well, that’s when “ENTITLEMENT” gets in them and I think we all have had enough of that crap these days! Keep your foot down and don’t give up!
Why take a 1 and 2 yr old to an arcade? Not developmentally appropriate. And then to take nephews and not let them play. What did they do while there?
You’re doing the right thing. Don’t let anyone on this thread-or your mom-tell you otherwise. Actions have consequences and the eariler they learn, the better.
Lol a 1 & 2yr old are not going to enjoy an arcade, are you sure this isn’t about you? Where are your nephews parents or who has legal guardianship? The boys are KIDS, don’t expect them to be perfect. Is there a reason behind them acting out? I feel like you’re leaving things out…if I was grandma I’d take the boys to the arcade myself.
There’s just not enough detail for a better response but you are not under any obligation to take your nephews to an arcade. That said, your mom is also not under any obligation to go if she doesn’t want to for whatever reason.
I’m a little confused I guess about why this is even an issue. You want to bring your kids to the arcade, you bring them. You don’t want to bring your nephews, you don’t bring them. Your mom doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t go.
I’m not sure where the nephews’ mom comes in but if the issue is that they aren’t listening to you, either have THEIR mom or your mom put “in charge” of them and you aren’t “the bad guy” for disciplining them.
Just one final thought… without really knowing what exactly these boys have done it’s hard to say. But sometimes kids just need to be kids and while at 5-8 years old, they certainly should be able to mind the adults “in charge”, sometimes they need to be redirected. In an arcade, kids will get a little rambunctious. Your kids are still very young but trust me, they won’t always behave perfectly. Sometimes “discipline” can be a great teaching moment. I’m not sure how long it’s been that they misbehaved since obviously they weren’t allowed to play games and therefore not being brought. And unless they are aware that their prior behavior directly affected them being allowed to play at an arcade, they may not really learn the lesson you’re trying to teach them. I do agree that if they wouldn’t be allowed to play at the arcade, bringing them anyway would be above and beyond punishment
Yeah there is more to this story then we are being told
Do you have custody of your nephews?
Nope you’re doing what needs to be done. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
So you’re taking the nephews to the arcade but they are not being allowed to play? Maybe it’s a good idea grandma stays with the nephews. Reminds me of the time a friend took her kids to Disneyland but they were grounded and not allowed to go on rides. It pretty much says more about the authoritarian figure than kids being kids.
I don’t think your mom is wrong with not wanting to go. I think it is enough punishment with your nephews not being able to go, I don’t think they should have to sit there and watch other kids play and have it thrown in their faces. They knew their was a consequence to their actions and that consequence is they don’t get to go to the arcade.