anonymous please… my boyfriend of almost 2 years and a child together (along with his other son and my other son from previous relationships) has asked me not to do an event that I do every year with my first son who is 8, because my sons dad will be there. He thinks that since its his weekend with him, to not interfere and we can do something similar on1 of my weekends, which is true, but my mom gives me SUCH a hard time if I try to break a tradition, or will say I don’t have time for my first anymore since our 4 month old was born, and I don’t want to hear it because she makes me feel awful sometimes honestly. What would you do?
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I wouldn’t let someone else ruin my own happiness mother or not.
Find out what your son wants to do, whether he wants to do the event, or if he just wants to spend quality time with his dad since that will be his dad’s weekend.
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Keep on with your tradition.
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Make new traditions, having traditions isn’t a mandatory thing 
when both parents aren’t together each parent on their holidays should be able to spend time with their kids without the ex there, make new memories.
How does your oldest feel about it?
What she is saying to you is wrong. I would venture to guess that this isn’t the only situation where she tried to bully you into doing what she wants…it’s hard, but stand up to her. Good Luck, mama 
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Coparent. Keep the tradition, I’m grown and my parents weren’t the most civil, these memories will be core memories for your 8 year old. Tell your boyfriend to get over it.
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I wouldn’t brake any tradition with my child, for anyone. Your bf needs to grow up and realize your ex will always be in your life on some level. Graduations of your son, marriage, you will both be grandparents to his children etc…
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Do it on one of your weekends. That is how it goes when you share custody.
Don’t break a tradition with your son over a two year relationship. Your mom is right. You need to keep your older son’s life as similar as possible. Your boyfriend sounds jealous.
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I would do what my son would want
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None of you actually know what you would do until you’re in that position.
Your boyfriend is a child if he can’t handle being around your ex who you’ll have to see for at least the next 10 years. I’m sure your son loves having both of his parents there every year for this tradition. Your BOYFRIEND of 2 years might not be there forever but your son will.
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Stop caring what she says. Honestly I know it’s hard to put your mom in her place but you have to or she will not stop trying to manage you and you will continue to feel bad until you break. Do what’s right for you and your kiddos and let her worry about herself. It will bring you so much more peace in the long run. It took me 44 years to figure that out.
Don’t let your boyfriend interfere with traditions.
Sounds like current baby daddy is feeling insecure or jealous 
Unless there are really serious issues at play, all adults should be able to discuss something important to kids with the aim of trying to make that happen.
So have you kept up the tradition for your mom or your son? Either way, the dad can carry on the tradition of he’s willing. I think it’s ok to begin new traditions.
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You do whatever you want to.
Reflect on what you and your son want to do
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You are an adult and can raise ur own kids, that negativity from her seems to be affecting you, do what works for YOU. It is ur life, she can have her opinions but you can have ur son when it work with ur coparenting schedule. And if your son is fine then what’s the issue ?
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I would grow a pair, and tell mom AND boyfriend ( jealousy, ick) to F off, and do exactly as I please!! FYI, as an adult you are not required to take orders, or chit, from anyone unless their signing your paycheck.
I wouldn’t break traditions with my child for anyone. I’m sorry boyfriends come and go but my memories with my children last forever.
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I personally wouldn’t break tradition or skip something that’s important to my child because their father happens to be my past – they’re still very much my child’s present and future.
There are going to be so many events in the future, and your current bf is trying to set a bad precedent. Are you going to skip a school play, a recital, a soccer or little league game because your son’s father also wants to be involved?
It’s also really good for your son to see you and his dad be civil to each other. Your his role models for what healthy relationships look like, and that includes how to co-parent if the relationship doesn’t work out. It’s just so much bigger than your boyfriend seems to understand.
It’s called coparenting. As long as yall get along there is no reason your son can’t have both parents in the same room/at same event. Clearly your ex is ok with it. I think it’s childish and selfish of your bf to not want you around your ex/father of child. I would keep the traditions. Your child will remember it forever.
You just say the child’s at the other parents its their time.
My youngest 2s dad got a bit jealous(only mentioned it once to me, never asked me to stop) of my good coparenting with middle son’s dad…he got it when he and his ex both came to their sons party(he lived with maternal grandparents)and they were playing with him he said the joy on their sons face was good to see and he realised why I coparent with my ex. Your boyfriend isn’t mature apparently
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I would be more concerned about the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t want to to go because your ex will be there. Big red flag 
in my opinion.
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Well if family members are saying something like that , then maybe some self reflection is due . Maybe you really don’t have time since the “ new family “ is there .
Either way you’ve got another child besides the new ones . Making time for that child is just as important as the others . 
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It’s called ex for a reason let him spend it with his son.It’s not your Mothers choice or business.But I would ask my son what he thinks about going with just his Dad.Your Mom needs to stay out of it.
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If this was something you have done every year I’d be asking myself how my son would feel if I didn’t attend.
Speak up to her. Don’t let her have that power over you. It’s not up to your mom. If you and baby daddy got it worked out where yall can agree on schedules then go with what you’re doing.
It’s called coparenting, there’s nothing wrong with both of your son’s parents both being at an event that is a tradition. Your son will remember who was there and who wasn’t.
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First of all why would you let your boyfriend tell you stop the tradition with your 8 year old when he’s only been your bf 2 years? Sounds like he is insecure and / or controlling. You should continue tradition with your child and tell him to mind his place. If he can’t respect that then he can be your ex too
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He (boyfriend) needs to grow up. Son’s dad will be in your life for many more years. I think traditions are important to children. Is it possible for you all to do whatever it is, and just suck it up and get along?
He needs to grow up. I’m sure it’s something your son looks forward to with the both of you. Until he puts a ring on it, he is temporary, sorry.
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Honestly you can talk to the son’s dad and switch weekends or work with the ex and be cordial and be there together. For your son’s sake do what is best for him, ask what he wants, and tell Grandma to butt out.
You’re mom. It’s not up to anyone else but you.
No way would I hurt my son by not being there with him.
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So the only reason you’re not doing it is because your boyfriend doesn’t want it?🤔
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Both your mom and boyfriend have no right to say anything about how u parent/coparent. If u want to go go if you don’t want to don’t
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U have been doing this event with ur son & u wanna break it just cus bf don’t want u there cus ur ex is there??? Um u do have 2 co-parent. I would ask ur son what he wants. If new bf don’t like then I’d tell him to f off. As far as ur mom… do u often chose ur new bf over ur son?
I would do what your son is used to. Your mom is right, your boyfriend is being insecure and that shouldn’t interfere with your son’s life
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That’s what’s wrong with the world. Who cares if your ex is there. It’s not about new boyfriend. It’s about your 8 year old. He deserves to have both parents there. Tell current bf to grow up.
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I wouldn’t not do something with your child because of your boyfriend. That’s a him problem and he needs to get over it. Or be gone.
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Your first born should always come first. If you only have time for the second son that will result anger in your children. You have to treat both the same. As far as your BF that’s a big red flag. Very immature. This will only get worst as time goes by. But your children first. There your blood Boyfriend come and go but children are there forever
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Your son comes first .no boyfriend should interfere with your tradition. You and your ex will always be connected u have a son together. Do what’s right for your son
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It’s your life, not hers.
Unpopular opinion but does your ex ever cross any boundaries to make your boyfriend feel a certain way??? There’s nothing wrong with starting new traditions with your new man and family…not everyone coparents well especially when one pf the bio parents is still in love with the ex…
Uhhh HELL NO. I’d be there for my child and ain’t no body stopping me. Your boyfriend sounds Insecure. And that’s red flag to being controlling.
BOYFRIEND… of 2 years…his son from a previous relationship, your son from a previous relationship and now another from this relationship…
Make time for all your kids. Someone in my town just buried their 11 year old the other day. One day, we will look back and wish we had made more time. If you need help with the younger one, maybe your mom can help so your older one isn’t left out. Idk if your mom lives near you but don’t put your older kid on the back burner bc of the younger one. I get it, my kids are 7.5 years apart. If your boyfriend is having trust issues then that needs to be addressed. Don’t let adult issues affect your relationship with your child. One day your boyfriend may be gone out of the picture and you might have a child that resents you. I hope you can find a middle ground or compromise.
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Your mom is mad at you for coparenting and not being a bitter baby mama. Ignore her. Your son’s father has just as much right to spend holidays, make traditions, etc with your shared child. You are doing the right thing by not trying to interfere with your son’s fathers parenting time. Your mom is being a bitter baby grandma and trying to exert control over a situation she is not entitled to any control in.
Maybe mom is seeing changes in you regarding your older son and it’s her way of sticking up for him. Your boyfriend sounds like the jealous type. More issues will come your way if you continue to change tradition due to him not feeling comfortable around the father of your child.
Sounds like your mom is calling you out on your bs.
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Sounds like she’s toxic…cut her off
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Wow do you here yourself as your writing this it’s all about your new boyfriend not your son and your mother is right you should b ashamed off yourself you should feel awful
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That’s not right he’s jealous and not thinking of your son. Furthermore why did he make you a single mother again and not marry you. Don’t ever put a boyfriend before your children EVER. You’ll be writing another post in a few years about him when y’all break up since you allow him to make suggestions like this BULLSH!T
What does your son want, bc thats the ONLY THING that should matter.
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Personally, I think this would be a fantastic opportunity for everyone to put their own emotions on hold and coparent together for the best interest of the child(ren). Sounds like your boyfriend needs to hike up his skirt, pull out his tampon, and borrow a set of fucking balls. He chose to not only enter into a relationship, but have a child with someone whom has a child with a previous partner. He needs to check himself. Children aren’t pawns in some sick game, and your child is incredibly lucky to have not just one paternal dad, but a bonus dad who has stepped up as well. The behavior your boyfriend is projecting is extremely immature and unfair to all children involved. I can 110% see where your mother is coming from. Perhaps, you should step back, and try to look at it from her perspective as well. Your children should ALWAYS come first. Above anyone or anything. Hell, you can go to Cirilla’s or lovers lane and get yourself a 
or a new 
. Ya can even get them on Amazon, temu, and shein. & if you think your children won’t grow up realizing ya’ll’s bullshit, you’re sadly mistaken. Kids notice, even if you don’t think they do.
I wouldn’t break the tradition. Sounds like the boyfriend is a little jealous tbh. Why can’t you all just go?!
Don’t ruin traditions with your kids over a man
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Tell her to kiss my ass amd do what I need to for my family. If it’s a special tradition with my kids then I will continue. If my new man don’t like it too bad how sad. Bring them along or he can find the door. My 3 kids don’t see their dad so I have them all the time but I talk to my kids and see what they want to do.
Stop interacting with people who make you feel this way over nothing
Why would you allow a man to dictate when and what you can do with your child??!
Get a grip and be a freaking mother. The child comes before the man baby
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Why on earth would you break a tradition with YOUR child because of a boyfriend? You women had better stop putting these temporary men in front of your children or your children might become temporary. It’s totally ridiculous. Also, you have been with this “man” almost 2 years, you have a child together but he is sooo JEALOUS of your other child’s father that you aren’t allowed around him to celebrate YOUR child’s birthday? Please
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I swear some of you read the part about the mother and stopped reading the article. Her mother ISN’T the problem here🤦♀️
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That’s your son. Your boyfriend isn’t your priority…your child is…!
That shouldn’t even be a question damn lady!!
Ask your son, it has nothing to do with your mom anymore.
Tell ur mom to eat shit and stay out of ur business…she has no say
Girl tell that bf and ya momma to stfu and ask your CHILD. He’s old enough to say what he thinks. You asking and listening to all the wrong people.
If it’s not your weekend then you need to either realise it’s his time or work out a compromise. Ultimate it’s not your weekend
Well what do you want to do?
Do not break the tradition you have with your oldest son
Don’t put him on the back burner because you have another son and a boyfriend
Keep the tradition up
Men come n go
Kids are forever
And you said your mom says you don’t have time for your 1 st son
Do you dump him off at your moms all the time?
And only want to spend time with your 4 month old and your boyfriend of 2 years. If that’s the case you need to change!!!
Kids 1 st
Boyfriends last
If your son wants you to be there then go and bf can grow up and get over it, if he doesn’t then mom can get over it and stop meddling in your life!!
what I would do,??? is…not listen to the mother & do what is right for your family
Firstly, your mum needs to stay out of it, tradition or not, it’s completely your choice if you break it or not. Maybe make your own traditions. I would also ask your son what he wants to do as he should also have a say. This is anything to do with your mum
Nope if you have been doing it every year why would you stop just because boyfriend wants you to, he needs to grow up!!!
Is your mom peeping some jealousy issues your current baby dad has that you may be blind too? Just feel like there’s more context we’re missing
You’re pretty vague on details. Id need more context. Like is this an event for children? Is it age appropriate for your infant? Are you going to interfere with your ex’s visit? I’ve known parents who show up uninvited to places they know their ex & child will be to make them uncomfortable, take the experience from the other parent. That’s probably why your mom is saying to stay out of it. He deserves to do things with his child without you.
I wouldn’t break a tradition because your boyfriend is jealous.your 8 yrs old will notice and question why .what will you say "because current boyfriend is jealous " …keep up the great co parenting job that you are doing …and stop listening to your mother it’s your life not hers
Ask your son and ex if you are wanted there . Boyfriend needs to get over himself and his jealousy . Mom needs to stfu personally . She needs boundaries period .