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QUESTION:
"So my ex-fiance was the reason I lost custody of my oldest daughter. I ended up agreeing to an open adoption so they let me have full custody of my youngest daughter when she was born. He tried to crash my car and went to jail for abusing me. My sister is now dating him. My sister just had left him and moved in with my mom. My mom was watching my youngest daughter while I work for the past year. My mom left my daughter alone with him and my sister. I told her I did not want my daughter around him. I went to get her yesterday and he was over the house while my daughter was there. I then found someone else to watch her from now on because I told her I didn’t want him around her. My mom is freaking out that I still have old pictures of him on my Facebook and that I’m dictating everyone’s life when all I am doing is ensuring my child's safety. She will literally never see her granddaughter again because of this man and she’s saying I’m wrong for removing my daughter from a place she says my ex is allowed to be whenever my sister wants because she now lives there. I’m her mom and regardless of my mother’s feelings on the matter it’s not about me or her it’s about my child and not taking any risks with her. She’s telling me I’m being selfish because I’m mad my sister is with my ex. Am I crazy or am I in the wrong?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Shame on your mother. If she can’t respect your wishes as the child’s mother, then you are doing exactly what you should. He sounds sleazy and dangerous and not someone a grandmother should want around her children or grandchildren. I would block them and move on doing what’s best for your baby."
"Cut ties and let them find out for themselves."
"Get daycare vouchers through the government and tell them all to go to hell. Or see them only when you want. You are in the right. So you do whatever you want."
"You’re under zero obligation to maintain relationships with people who have harmed you or those who enable people who have harmed you. Family included. Gone are the days where family ties mean unconditional acceptance of abusive behaviors. Cut ties."
"Nah you’re good. They are fucked up in the head if they all think that’s okay. Stand your ground."
"First, let me just say thats gross. I could never ever be with a man my sister or any relative had been with. 2nd, your mother is in the wrong. If she can't honor your wishes and accept your boundaries with your child whether she agrees with them or not, then she doesn't get to babysit any longer. Simple as that. If she wants to allow the man in her home whenever he wants then she should leave with your child before he gets there or watch your kid somewhere else."
"Stick to it. Your child is your priority"
"It sounds to me like you’re doing the right thing for your child. Your sister shouldn’t be dating your ex that abused you and your mother should not be encouraging you to let your child associate with that man. They're ones that are in the wrong you keep doing what you’re doing"
"Cut them all off immediately. You have nothing left to say to these people."
"No, you’re absolutely correct that you removed your daughter from his presence. If your mom insists on letting him continue to be there then you have every right to find someone else to take care of your daughter. You’re her protector and you’re doing what is necessary to protect her."
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