I would explain to your mom that if she doesn’t like the way you parent, “there’s the door”. It’s your house, your rules. Maybe if more parents were a little stricter here would be a lot less school violence and crime.
My boyfriend and I are pretty strict. Now that you say that you keep toys to the room, I might implement that as well cause I’m actually sick of them being on the couch or on the floor or in front of the tv lol. It teaches them manners! I have hated it in the moment when my man disciplines but I ALWAYS see a good outcome from it. My son LISTENS better when he has discipline. If that shit slips a little bit, he takes whatever he can. Kids need structure, there is still ALWAYS room for creativity and fun!
My kids have toys in every room. They have 2 play rooms but the toys never stay in there…but they do have to say yes ma’am no ma’am please and thank you.
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We have a structured household as well and I hear a lot of how well behaved my kids are and how they can’t believe they go to bed at 8pm etc. you do u mama
I’m a mean mom… we don’t allow TV or video games… my house stays clean and the kids keep everything in their place
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I don’t know if I would call it stric? You are setting boundaries and it is your choice to set the boundaries you see fit for your children. I have one child, so for me it’s easier. When he was younger he could get out what he wanted to play with but when he was finished he would put it up. He is 10 now I’m teaching him to do the laundry, he takes out the trash and other chores. However, his room is a mess and it drives me crazy but he cleans it. If he wants to be embarrassed when his friends come over then so be it. I hope he grows out of it but ultimately he is responsible for it. He’s a smart respectful kid and that’s all I can ask for. 
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Nope, my husband and I run our house the same way!! And his parents think its child abuse. Legitimately. And it drives me crazy
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After I rolled my ankle a few times in the dark on toys that werent supposed to be out… All toys are in their rooms as well and if they dont get put away at the end of the night, when told, they get thrown.
I’m a pretty “free range” parent & my kids still aren’t allowed to destroy my house lol. They play mostly in the living room because my oldest is only 3 but she still knows when she is done playing with her dolls they get put away before she pulls out anything else.
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Honestly I had this same type of situation me and my SO are way stricter with our kids than my mom was with me… which in turn turned me into an unruly teenager who couldn’t be controlled and got into a lot of legal trouble… I’m trying to make sure my kids never go down that path so they have rules, expectations, chores all of that … they are expected to act right in public and respect elders… they are well mannered… and when they act out there are consequences (toys/electronics taken away, no tv ect.)they are on the road to being respectable adults at some point… she doesn’t understand because that’s not how she raised me… I refuse to raise little brats who run the streets and act crazy with no type of regard for anyone but themselves… you are in the right keep doing what you’re doing, at the end of the day as long as your children aren’t being abused it’s nobody’s business how you choose to raise them 
I always felt there is a happy medium and that’s what your goals should be. A happy compromise where each family member can live happily. Maybe no toys outside the room ever is too much…but toys all over all the time is also too much…I would start with you can play with one or two toys and then you have to put them away before taking out new ones or before bed. But really if that’s all they can say about your parenting then you’re definitely a good mom!
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You are doing a great job.
Good job momma you’re doing great! I am the same! This is our house not just my child’s house so no they are not allowed to leave their stuff all over. They have manners. I get compliments frequently on their good behavior and manners. If you’re not structured how on Earth do you expect your child to grow up and be successful? Success takes structure, stability and so on… You’re doing great 
My dad called me a bad mom a few years ago because I was taking my son who was overwhelmed out of the situation so he could calm down. Then a few weeks ago he told me he just needs space when he gets overwhelmed…like no duh.🤦 I love my parents, but I think they forget what it was like. Just got to learn to ignore it or remind them of their place.
My parents were strict with me, as soon as I was of age I ran wild… But I’m still respectful to people.
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Your mom doesn’t have the right to say that. Shes undermining your authority. I get not wanting toys all over your house. Only thing is that you go in their rooms & play with them too. Watching children play has a lot of advantages. You can get insight into what they’re doing in school, how they’re treated by others & even how they feel about you. Isolating their play deprived you of that.
I guess you shouldn’t have had kids if you dont want the mess? Sucks they can only make “memories” in their room.
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My house had toys and kids stuff everywhere but they always said please and thank you and other parents and strangers commented on how well mannered they were and they gave grown into well mannered adults. A house can be clean but not always tidy.
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your doing great. Your mom was probably to soft. I’m trying to get my kids to listens. but it’s still a working progress. they are only 5 and 3. but we do make them say, “please,” thank you," and “welcome.” you got things covered.
My kids are gonna be raised the same way:woman_shrugging: sorry but most kids these days do what the eff they want how ever they want and say whatever… fuck that… do NOT beat yourself down for doing what it right. Congrats for taking control and being a parent to your kids instead of letting them run over you. I praise you momma:heart:
It’s a good thing your mama had her time to raise her children. It is your turn now. Children need structure. It sounds like your children are growing up to become great human beings, which there is a lack of in this world right now.
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That’s not being strict that’s good parenting and structured.
Nothing wrong with a bit of structure but there needs to be balance. Kids who are brought up in extremely strict households will rebel against the power struggle when they are older.
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I Think we’d need more examples in order to provide advice. Like are you running a “children should not be seen or heard, or speak without being spoken to” household. or is this legit just about toys?
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Sounds like structure n discipline.
Keep up the greaT parenting 
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I have 7 children one is special needs and I have rules but I allow mine to play in the living room an some like to be on the table doing things ie colouring painting but there are toys in there bedroom but I clear up to make sure it’s done properly but I limit mess and they no when they have enough out
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Learn how to tell people to mind their own business
To say you shouldn’t even be a parent at all - I’d cut her off, honestly. That’s going too far.
There’s legit neglect, torture, abuse, mistreatment, etc going in and she feels you shouldn’t be a parent bcuz you’re too “strict” according to her???
Incredibly disrespectful.
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We have toys in all rooms, of course my oldest is 2. We have a play room, but he stays in the den where the tv is until we get another one for in that room. We are working on putting toys away before bed. He can drag all of them out all day long, but before we got to bed, they have to be put away. Still structured but allowing him to utilize the family space as well
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For more opinions join Parenthood Uncensored
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Kids don’t need to drag their crap throughout the house. I was the same with my 3, then came the last 2 and they are a cyclone in themselves. Destruction everywhere, 1 is autistic 1 is still being diagnosed. But I hate the chaotic life.
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I’ll go on and say tennessee doesn’t allow you to spank it abuse apparently and you will loose your kids if reported and u can’t let a baby cry either why in the shower they’ll take it if reported
Y’all are annoying. That’s not strict, that’s structure. Occasionally my boys can bring toys in the living room, but if they walk away, the toys better be gone too.
I’m hella strict, no shame. You need to enforce structure starting young or it’s not gonna happen. Don’t like it, piss off. I’m still my kids favorite person that they love the most. They’re happy and healthy and that’s really all that matters.
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Structred is good, my children are and are very well behaved. Also keep in mind that they like to socialize. I have the same rule - toys go in their rooms but they may bring no more than 2 toys to the living room provided they also pick up after themselves and they do. My kids are very free spirited but they do know how to follow the rules.
Sounds like you’re just being a good parent
Lmao i get the same shit but my 4 year old is so well mannered and behaved for a typical 4 year old so if me being strict makes a polite, well behaved kid instead of a spoiled menace then so be it!
Lmao I get the same shit all the time but you know what? My 4 year old is so well behaved and polite for a toddler instead of a spoiled menace so im gonna keep my oarenting ways! Keep it up mama!
A structured household is good, but I think it’s ok for kids to bring a couple toys into the living room to play as long as they pick them up and put them away
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Eh, can you come help at my house! Lol, your doing right by your kids.
If more people raised their kids like you did there wouldnt be so many horribly acting kids in the world. Kudos to you and your boyfriend for being good parents and not raising jerks.
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Sooo many kids today dictate to their parents and are entitled spoiled little brats
This post is refreshing ! Apparently we are strict as well then lol
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I’m in the opposite position you’re in. I’m the Meme who is strict. My daughter and grandkids live with me and i’m constantly on her to pick up after her kids and not to destroy my house. She wasn’t allowed to as a child and my house rules haven’t changed just because she had children. They have a toy box in our living room and they’re only allowed out what they are playing with. I’ve told her I will still sweep things up and throw them away if they’re left out. Idc who paid for it or how much it costs. It’s not my place to pick up after an adult and her kids. I also am trying to break them from screaming at the tops of their lungs. I have sensitive ears and it just goes right thru me and hits that final nerve. I tell them we aren’t wild animals and this isn’t the jungle. I would put their toys in their room but my husband works nights and he wouldn’t get any sleep because their room’s next to ours.
Raise you’re kids the way you guys see fit and get off here seeking everyone’s approval!
I’m a strict parent they are allowed to play at the table or in the garage, I don’t have a lot of room for them to play in the living room . Arts and crafts at the table and the 3 years olds are in his room. They have to put away what they got out before getting out another toy. We limit screen time and video games. We have rules that they have to follow and conquences when they dont. I have a total of 5 kids( 4 bonus and 1 bio, the bonus kids are not here all the time).
I don’t think that allowing your children to play with their toys outside of their bedrooms would be considered chaotic , I think it would be considered normal by most people.
Um no. #1 YOU are the parent and they are YOUR KIDS. Not your moms or anyone else’s. #2 you are in charge.PERIOD. If your mother said that I think it’s awful. Maybe she is worried that the kids are not getting to play and interact with you (the parents) as much as she thinks they should and that might be a good point but it’s no reason to say something so terrible. You can do whatever you see fit and I wouldn’t say a word about it because they are not my kids. I will just say that you can be strict, enforce rules, and live happily in a NON CHAOTIC HOUSEHOLD by allowing kids to play in the main living areas. It’s just slightly off putting that you think ppl who play with their kids and let them play with toys in the living area of their home are living in chaos. Lol. That’s not true. I mean chaos is part of living with children but you can have chaotic times and still live in peace. Thats actually part of a healthy family unit. Kids are chaos sometimes. If you want to eliminate all chaos like it sounds than I see your moms issue. Your kids do need to interact with the family in the main living environment. That’s just part of being a healthy well rounded family. There’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you wanting to keep your kids mess contained. BUT you can’t always do that. I make my kids keep the bulk of their toys in their rooms and let them bring out whatever they are playing with at down times (not in the middle of meal time, cleaning, or laundry day) so we can watch, talk to, interact, and play with them because kids need that from their parents. I’m not saying your doing anything wrong but I think confining kids to their bedrooms only to play and make messes so you have less work to do is a little misguided. You think kids playing around your adult space is chaos and it may be but that’s part of being a parent. You can let kids play with toys in the livingroom and still be strict and still maintain order and raise respectful responsible children. Just make them clean one mess before they start another. I know it’s hard to have kids messes in the house and it makes more work for you but that’s part of having kids and I think it’s unhealthy to keep them confined to their bedrooms at all times when they want to play with toys or make a mess. That’s not to say let them run wild and have toys all over. Just make some time for them to play with and near you. They crave that. I promise you they want to play near their parents no matter how well behaved they may be. Real life is not a movie. Your kids cant be perfect. But dont let your mom or anyone else make you feel bad for wanting to live in peace. That’s terrible and unless they live your life they cant judge how you raise your kids. Your right everyone parents differently. And you always do what you feel is best.
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Your parents don’t know what they are talking about. As long as everyone is safe,happy, and healthy, who cares how they are raised.
Not at all! I have people always tell me I’m too strict and it used to bother me but now it doesn’t because I see the difference between my kids and other people’s. My kids clean up after themselves, use their manners & do chores to work for what they want. I dont allow my kids to turn my whole house into a playground either, toys belong in their rooms & food belongs at the table. Occasionally theres exceptions to when they can eat & play in undesignsted areas of the house. We have rules and structure, theres nothing wrong with that, tell her to mind her business, you’re doing great I’m sure!
Mama you & your partner are not alone as we too parent this way… “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.
We are strict… but i let my kids take the toys out wheverever they want but they have to clean up all the toys and mess they make when they are done or when i say its time to clean up
Grandparents always think we are strict and harsh… they forget what they were like, being stricter a lot of the time. The rules usually fly out the window at grandparents houses with stuff we would never have gotten away with as a child ourselves.
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I only allowed a small space in livingroom for toys. And your doing a great job I would be told mine are well mannered and respectful. If people don’t like the way you parent and not raising bad kids who cares. Your kids your parenting is great. It will pay off in long run
Your mom needs to take a seat. You’re doin a wonderful job! Keep it up!!!
She raised you as she saw fit. You raise yours as you see fit. If they are happy and loved doesn’t matter what any one else has to say
Reply to her and say… “Maybe you were too lenient as a parent…” and then follow up with… “Did you ever think about that Mom?”
On second thought, you should probably just listen to somebody else and not me… yeah… definitely don’t do this lol
Unless she has a great sense of humor like me then after you do that you should just crack her open a beer and go sit on the porch and drink some suds with her
Too bad your kids can’t play with mine! I’m all about this
Kids NEED structure! If toys do slowly leak out into our living room they are cleaned up and put back in their rooms. We have enough “crap” in our house and we don’t need their toys to add to it. *we are no where near hoarders and I can not stand clutter.
You’ve got to be careful with the whole " boyfriend " thing . Sometimes as much as we want to believe they love our children like we do , they just dont . Never will they admit it , but it’s the truth in many cases . With mine for example… my boys are grounded often over stupid stuff . Made to go on timeouts and stay for the full duration. Then when his kids get a time out he babies them and let’s them go . I’m seeing it , and I’m also calling it all out . If it’s good for one it’s good for all , and I will stick to my guns just as him . To be honest if this keeps up , myself I dont think I’ll be with him much longer . I’m not going to allow someone to be strict with mine while others get " special " treatment. That’s how we damage our children and they grow up with a complex.
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I feel like we’d need a lot more detail in how you actually parent (how you actually talk to your kids) to give you actual thoughts…you can’t tell a whole lot by, “We don’t let them do and say whatever or drag toys out.”
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I let my boys play everywhere with their toys but also I make them pick them up n take to their rooms when they are done. There no wrong or right way to raise children unless you ain’t putting no t doing anything n letting them run wild.
We have rules and chores and I am a free spirited mom! My kids do dishes, laundry, vacuum, clean their rooms and all that stuff they play everywhere in the house but when they are done they put everything away. I let them play in the mud ride their bikes in the rain. They say please and thank you and hold the door open for ppl. They are the happiest kids in the world! They talk to me and hubs they are completely open with us. Do not let other people decide or judge the way you parent your kids! They are yours and you be the best mom ever!
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Everyone parents different. There is no “right” way. Just do what you think is best, and if someone has issues with it they can mind their own business. Not their kids, not their right to try to parent them
Absolutely not to strict! It’s what wrong with kids to day. They have no limits. I bet your mom had rules.
You guys do you. Nod your head at your mom and move on.
I wish I was you honestly.
Keep up the good work
I don’t let my kids spend the night at friends houses… every parent has things they are strict on. I wish I were better at the stuff your “strict” on my kids have nearly half the house between room and playroom and the toys are still all over the living room and sometimes even in my bedroom.
When my daughter was little she would tell me she hates me. My come back to her. My job is not for you to love me, my job is for you to hate me. So l’m doing an awesome job. I get mother of the year. She is now a momma of 2 beautiful kids and we laugh still about it. When she was a teenager we would joke about her friends moms not getting mother of the year. Parents need to teach kids respect no one else will. Some day they need to be responsible citizens. Good luck.
You are not wrong i did the same today my kids are so clean and responsable. Youll be better off.
Man, yall would hate my house. I allow toys in my livingroom and I have a very respectful child you can have both. Sometimes kids just like the company while playing.
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Why is your mom in your business and why does she think she can tell you how to parent your kids? Tell her to mind her own business.
I personally believe there is a thing as being way too strict. As when parents CONTROL everything about their child. How is that child ever going to make mistakes and learn to think for themselves
I think many adults put higher expectations on children than they do for ourselves. I understand need for structure… but kids needto be kids too.
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I’m over here like “How does she stop them without screaming like a maniac?” I’ll take some tips for toddlers please bc mine have no concept of one item play.
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I agree with you structure and routine is everything keep up the good work
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U say you run a strict house hold but the only rule you’ve mentioned is not allowing ur kids to bring toys into other rooms besides theirs … I wouldn’t consider that a strict house hold. My children aren’t allowed to drag toys into the living room, eat or drink out of the kitchen etc but I wouldn’t consider my house hold strict. My kids are allowed to be kids and I get compliments all the time on how well mannered they are as well. So maybe there’s a little more to your “strict house hold” but from how you worded your statement/question you seem pretty confident in ur parenting
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I grew up with strict Sgt major none of us 3 kids even talk to him because the way he is. My last words to him was that I thank him for 1 thing in my life… for teaching me how not to be a parent. I believe that my house is for my kids and how one day it will be an empty nest so until then it is for my children. Yes we all work as a team doing chores ect. Yes they have manners home and away. Yes, they have to clean up if they make a mess. But I think if you secluded your children out of every room in the house besides their bedroom how often do you think they’ll be spending time with you outside of it? I’m very happy with the way I chose not to be like I was raised. Even my 15 year old will come hangout with me and watch movies with me ect all on her own. I dont want to raise kids and have them come home and be in their room 24/7. Or not be involved in their life. Keep them close to you and they will come to you. Be strict and they will stray away from you. This is OUR home not just mine.
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As long as they can still play and explore then teaching them manners and limits is good, I’ve had 5 and am raising the 8th child to be in my home and he has limits and his toys are to stay in his room. He is almost 4 so we have lesson time and he has some TV time but other than that he plays. If we go out I expect him to behave and there is nothing wrong with it. Giving kids chores and teaching them manners and limits at a young age is a good thing so don’t worry so much about what others say as long as your kids are happy and healthy and well mannered.
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Lol u basically just described the way I parent
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Kids need structure and rules and you decide what’s the right fit for your family ignore nastiness clearly you are doing great if you kids are happy and healthy and polite xxx
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I run my house the same way. It’s your house, kids, and life. They should back off.
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We’re the same way. We allow a small amount of toys in the living room and that’s it. If you get too rough with them, they go back to your room. We have 2 boys (6.5 years and 7 months). My parents are the same way when we go to their house and my oldest acts up. If I get on to him for it all I hear is "it’s ok hes not hurting anything) and a disapproving look right in front of him. It honestly makes me just want to leave if they’re going to blatantly disregard my parenting style
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Look, you can make a big toy mess where we keep our toys (living room) but every toy has a bin (they are separated by type) and it fits nicely in the toy box and the book shelves we have set up. So when adults need to use the room, they aren’t overwhelmed by toys. When we move on to another activity, like lunch or showers or dinner or school or going out, we clean up first. We have people around us who don’t make their kids clean up, while I sit there and wait 10 minutes for my 10 month old to put the block he is holding back in it’s container so we can cheer for him and encourage picking up after himself. I can’t live in a mess. I’m ADD. My daughter is ADHD/something? Autism? Mood disorder? Idk. We can’t let things just go around here. She used to be very clean and has recently decided throwing trash on the floor is acceptable. And this is in a house where that has never been acceptable! lol! Could you even imagine if I let her get away with it?? No. No time for that. There are parents out there that are sickly controlling and overbearing. It’s abusive and unproductive and pushes kids to be wild and secretive teenagers. Asking them to clean up after they make a mess is just what normal functional people should be able to do. Like… strict? What?
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I raised my 7 kids just like you raised yours my mom was Stricker than me but to day my kids still say yes mama and yes sir and they respect me and my oldest is 56 my youngest is 46 in 72 and they still love me very much
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I treat my grandkids just like I raised my kids. They mind at my house
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I’m the same way kids can play with toys in there playroom but before bed they must be picked up i limit tv time and juice as well and if they have a hard time getting up in the morning I put them to bed a half hour early bedtime is 9 pm
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My kids have their crap everywhere but at the end of the day I help them pick it all back up they are only 3 and 1 year olds, they don’t get anything unless they use their manners, everyone parents differently there is no right or wrong way.
Nope! I have 5,4,3 year olds and they all clean up after themselves and help clean the house. They dress themselves, shower themselves, and do a lot for themselves. They also say yes ma’am and yes sir. If they don’t say thank you and please I will take away things until they do. They are all taught respect. Nothing wrong with that.
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You’re doing just fine. We grew up with having our toys n stuff in our rooms only. That’s how it should be. Not how I run my own family but with a toddler n infant, I kinda need the front room as a play room LOL
It doesn’t mean you have a chaotic household just because your children take toys into the living room…that’s what helps creativity. Now you can be structured and strict when it is time to put the toys away. I don’t think keeping toys in one room is great but each to our own. I interact with my son and get his toys out in the living room and then just put them away again of course when he is older he will out them away. I kind of think you worry too much about messiness. Remember these days you have with your children are numbered and very precious. They grow so fast…I wouldn’t want my child growing up and thinking oh remember mum when she didn’t let me play in the living room or when she told me to keep the mess in my room…
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You do you, your mom raised hers now these kids are yours.
Wow. Some of these comments… smdh. My toddler has toys all over my house because this is her house too! She is allowed to tell me “no momma” or “leave me alone” because she is allowed to express herself. With all that being said, she says please and thank you and I love you all the time. She has empathy and compassion for others. She even puts herself in timeout when she needs a break (tantrums, crying and getting upset when i correct her.) DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO PARENT! there is never a right way and there is no manual but abuse is the wrong way. I wish my house was clean (I have ocd) but that’s just a part of having babies that I had to accept. Love and respect your child and they will love and respect you. That is the first life skill to be learned.
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No offense but I wish you had been my parents 
sure I got in trouble for things I shouldn’t have done, as any parent should discipline their children, but you guys honestly sound like top notch parents. They are allowed their opinions, but if you think the way you’re raising your kids is working just fine (which it is) then you don’t have to alter anything you’re doing just because someone said something.
i think ur mom is right. i am nowhere near as strict, and my kids are very well behaved and very responsible. i have nevee had a complaint about them disrespecting someone, or not washing their plate at a friend’s house, leaving messes, etc. these blessings of mine don’t leave a public restaurant’s table without it being just like they found it! i dont see the need to make a child’s life miserable just bcz u like things certain way and so u try to shape, bend, and break, til U think its perfect. a house can be spotless but in the end what matters is their feelings and the resentment they have towards being controlled…i’d rather be in a home, where u laugh at one bcz they tripped over something they didnt pick up, than a shiny, spotless, quiet, or even empty dinner table. my house, but more than anything, my kids’ happy home!
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Doesn’t matter. You’re the parent. Your kids. Your call. She needs to realize that even though you are her child, they are your children and while she can say what she wants you make the final decision.
I’m thr same way. We don’t have a playroom. I wont let them bring a bunch of toys out. A couple is fine but they go right back after they are done playing.
Every family is different. When I grew up my parents were very strict. Until my siblings came along. Then it was allot different for them. My son could bring toys in the living room but had to be taken back to his bedroom. When he got older the bedroom was his space tho. I just came in to pick up things for washing (clothing) . He is so different now. His place is spotless! Just do what you think is right. You know your boys.
We also werent allowed to have toys all over the house. Nothing wrong with having a neat clean house. With children that are well behaved and keep their rooms tidy and clean. Play with something and put it away. Your kids rooms are their domains and they can play and enjoy themselves. Maybe when you have geust allow the kids to play in the living room with friends where they can be watched you never know what happens in rooms when not visible.Dont allow your parents to tell you that you are bad parents, it is your home…your family your rules.
What the heck? You sound like great parents! I don’t see her issue
Im not strict, we have rules and responsibilities but for the most part as long as noone is getting hurt or causing too much destruction they are free to be crazy. Everyone comments on how well behaved and mannered they are. The way i see it as long as they behave properly and use manners, especially when it counts (not under my care) we are doing just fine. You and your home is the kids safe haven where they should be allowed to let loose and not be as structured. Their dad and i have completely different styles, he is very strict. Hes slowly coming around to see that my methods work and they obey better to choices more than barking. “If you dont do this, you cant do this”… they drag stuff from one end of the house to the other. But about 45 minutes before bed, everyone cleans.