We are strict parents. Everyone parents differently, we’re just the strict ones! We don’t allow our kids just to do whatever or say whatever. We run a structured household, so our kids know how to be well mannered and appropriate. Our friends comment on how well behaved our kids are all the time. When they spend the night with their friends, the parents always say how nice they are, and they say please and thank you, etc. We don’t allow our kids to pull toys out all over our house. Of course, we encourage creativity and allow them to make “messes,” but they have to do so in their rooms. We don’t have a playroom in our house, so they’re toys are in their rooms. My parents think that my boyfriend and I are horrible parents because we don’t allow our boys to drag things out all over the place. My mom actually made a comment to me yesterday that, “I shouldn’t even be a parent since I want to be so strict.” Are we really that awful of parents because we don’t run a chaotic household? I just believe that everyone parents differently, there’s the “free-spirited” parents and there’s us. Thoughts?
Kids are only kids once. Then they’ll be grumpy adults worried about messes kids make.
I have 9 kids…toys are apart of having kids 🤷🤷 they have a playroom but the 2 babies have their own age appropriate toys and they r in our living room 🤷 mess gets cleaned up b4 the kids go to bed. People know of they r coming to my house its kid oriented and toys will be out.
There is such thing as too strict. Let your kids be kids.
Have a well structured household. Sure why not. But let your boys be boys!
You raise your kids how you see fit. As far as mess of toys. I agree. They should stay in their rooms and they should take out what they are using. If not they will be everywhere. You can also show them to pick up after playing with whatever. I don’t call that strict you are just orderly. And that is ok.
Order and responsibility are extremely important things to teach your children of course, but if it isn’t balanced with equal parts of patience and grace and love and nurturing then the kids can often feel like everything they do is wrong.
Not that you’re gonna ever listen to the advice of strangers. But don’t take away their childhood
I wouldn’t say it too strict. Messes can be cleaned out of the livingroom too but they are your kids. If u want their stuff to be played with in their room it’s not a big deal. It’s not serious enough for anyone to say u shouldn’t be a parent. That is ridiculous.
I applaud you for having a well-structured house and to be honest with you I wish I had the willpower or whatever you want to call it to do that because it would definitely be easier sometimes I think but it doesn’t work in our house at least right now they do have very nice manners though and they are very caring
Honestly your mom is a grandma lol my mom was so strict when I was growing up but is the most relaxed fun grandma ever roles have changed but definitely parent the way you see fit
Structure and rules are super important.
Tell her you are raising children and not wild banshees.
Tell her to shove it. Making them okay with toys in their rooms isnt “taking away their childhood” 
kids need order and rules in a home. That doesnt make you a bad parent.
We have bins for everything. They can each pick one at a time. And it all has to be cleaned before getting anything else. They are 6 and 4 and now know that so it’s not even an issue. I don’t want my house looking trashed
I think you sound fine! In our first house, where our son was an infant, there simply wasn’t room for him to leave toys everywhere. He either played with them in his room, or helped us put them away at night.
Now we’re in a bigger house, and he has a play room. We give him more latitude to make a mess in there, but he still is responsible for keeping the room "walkable ". One of his Saturday chores is to pick up his playroom and make it presentable.
Honestly that is not nearly enough information about your house and what goes on in it to answer a question like this
Raise them how you want they’re your kid. But just because some parents let their kids drag out toys, doesn’t mean it’s a chaotic household. Trust me, kids can bring out their toys to the living room without being chaotic.
Let the kids play smh bet you would wish you had let them if God forbid something happened to them… Messes can be cleaned
Shoot how we parent our daughter gets so many comments…and to which we reply…worry bout yo’self:v:
…
I’d tell my mom to piss off I’ll raise my kids as i see fit
I tell u this , I wish I would have been more strict with mine they are a bit of a mess .
You’re doing it right
Good for you both for not letting your kids run amok. Maybe you could teach my ex a thing or two.
Being too strict is not healthy at all. In fact, it’ll be a detriment to your kids the older they get… it might just backfire.
You should read all the book’s you can about parenting. Not to say discipline isn’t needed. It is… structure is needed, but don’t create a people pleasing… repressed… resentful kid… that might act out in ugly ways later.
I suggest a book called the gift of imperfect parenting. Don’t let the title throw you off, it hits on many great details of not being so strict… and allowing your kid to find their voice…
Parent your children how you see fit,tell your mother that she raised you to be the way you are with own children so if she has an issue she should look in the mirror
We do schedules, rule charts, reward charts etc. We have a bed time. No electronics after dinner which is 6pm. Showers by 630ish homework right after. Free time is scheduled that is their time to use games electronics. Chore time is scheduled . We have 6 kids. Our house is rarely chaotic and crazy.
I feel like this is sort of brag. Kids are kids and mess is a part of childhood if theyre okay with playing in their rooms then thats fine, but if they want to play and be around everyone then let them just teach them to clean up when theyre done. Being TOO strict however can ruin your children so just make sure you have a good balance :).
She needs to mind her own business
Parent of 30 yrs, Structured homes are what ALOT of kids are lacking these days. I am what is referred to as the Drill Srgt parent. There’s NOTHING wrong with teaching children early to RESPECT your word, and the home you are busting you’re butt to provide them. I too didn’t allow my kids to trash my house, drag toys all over, eat anywhere other than the table. Grandma can have any OPINIONS she likes, but in the end game she’s NOT responsible for the ppl you’re children grow to be you are. So tell Grammy to enjoy being a Grandma bc they have a Mother.
Sounds like your parenting is just fine and your mom needs to stay out of it.
Kids need structure and rules.
To the people who think they know how to raise our daughter better than we do
Nope! You’re doing it right. I could be labeled “strict” too but I’d much rather have a organized, clean, well mannered and well behaved household. You raise your kids as you see fit.
Screw her.
Raise your awesome kids.
Trade? Lol
I can understand not wanting a mess of toys over the house but if they play with their toys all day then they will be in their room all day. You could make an area in the livingroom for playing and if they want a different toy then they have to put the first one up. And when playtime is over then all toys are put up.
Structure is good, just make sure they get to be kids and have some wild and free time. If you don’t want the mess in the house, outside is a perfect place for big paintings or waterballoon fun. Otherwise good for you for not having hellions
Do as you wish. It’s your kids. We all parent different one way or another.
Keep doing your thing you’re doing AWESOME!!! 
Kids needs to be kids but with respect if course i mean they ate only little for awhile but u can be a bit laid back a bit and still be stren on manners but hey u do ur thing and dont worry about what others say
Your kids, Your rules!
Parent the way that you think is right for your kids. If they are well behaved, using their manners and have respect to follow your rules then you are doing a great job. There is no great book on how to raise kids we raise them based on what we feel is right and would make them good adults when they are older.
My husband and I parent the same way. Our son is allowed to “be a kid”. His toys are all over his room but must be picked up, by him, by end of day. My son is extremely polite. We’ve had comments from people that he’s the most polite child they’ve ever met and he’s 7 years old. I can’t stand when we go out and kids are just running around like they own a place and their parents don’t say a damn thing. They are raising entitled children who will turn into entitled adults. There is nothing wrong with raising structured children who have manners and who are actually considerate of the people around them. My son is a happy little boy even though he has strict parents. We spend a lot of time with him and we do a lot of activities and outings that he enjoys.
Your kids, you parent them as you see fit. 
We are strict parents as well. My 8 year old always says so and so is allowed and i explain i am not their mom. We dont do electronics during the week we have strict bedtimes and toys stay in bedrooms where they belong!
I think if it works for you then keep it up. My husband and I parent the exact same way and my mom complains constantly & I just tell her that she isn’t their parent I am.
You would die if you came in my house it’s worst then toysrus lol there is a different between being respectful and letting kids be kids
I think you are doing a great job and raising your kids well. Kids need structure and rules.
I have 3 Granddaughters whose Mom is extremely strict she runs every aspect of their lives they have never been physically punished but are the most well mannered respectful little girls I’ve ever met
If ur kids are happy then I see no issues.
I don’t think getting g your children to use manners and be respectful of people and property is too strict at all. You want them to be productive, kind, respectful contributors to society. We allow messes in our house but they need to clean up after themselves (with assistance from us if needed) - no one will do it for them when they’re older. Sounds to me like you’re doing a great job!
My living room floor as we speak. My daughter likes to be with us and not in her room. but she is required to pick up her messes usually when i start to cook dinner. Then help with her “chores” wiping her table, “helping” unload the dishwasher. Of course we help her she is 3. I see no harm in having structure and keeping a clean house. Kids need rules.
I have two comments, on this from my personal experience.
- I was a strict parent, my goal was to raise capable, employable , selfsuficiant people.
I used the guide of
Would I want them as neighbors
Co workers
Employees
Bosses
I also didn’t allow behavior that if 18 years old would result in jail . - Looking back I am glad I was diligent in preparing them for life however I feel now I was a bit over the top and should have relaxed a few times .
My kids have held jobs and paid thier own bills and life and have lived outside my home since they were each around 18 .
They say they love me and are thankful for being taught the reality of life .
I have also had my sons boss have my son get me on the phn to personal thank me for raising a fabulous human that is a asset to his business.
In my house no ment no and everyone was responsible for respect.
I don’t let my kids drag shit all over the house. They play in their rooms unless we are doing a craft or activity. They have manners and they know they aren’t allowed to act like brats. I think you’re doing fine. Kids need structure and rules.
Your strict but your kids arent running the streets being rude, disrespectful little brats so I dont see the problem with it. You keep doing a great job!
I feel for the kids.
We have the same rule. And no they aren’t forced to stay in their room they can go out to backyard as long as weather allows and are allowed to watch a movie in living room whenever they wish. Just that toys stay in bedrooms. (A stuffy or baby doll for sitting down and watching tv is ok)
… this is strict to you? Lmao
It doesn’t sound too strict based off that information. I have 5 kids and I HATE when they bring their toys out of their rooms bc then it just looks like a bomb went off and it’s always a struggle to get them to clean them up. Now, if the kids are forced to keep their rooms spotless that’s another story. I would never expect a child’s room to not be some form a mess. Structure and manners are great things in life and not many kids these days have them.
I love the mess, I love watching my kids play and learn and explore. I couldn’t imagine only letting them play in their room. To each their own. I want my kids to be little and have a childhood. Sounds like a military home to me. My kids say please and thank you and act wonderful when they are out and about but I allow my kids to be kids. To me you sound like the type that if they dropped a glass and broke it you’d freak out over the accidental mess.I’ve watched the way kids with hella strict parents act once their parents ain’t around they’re always the most wild teenagers behind mamas back 
I’m not a “free spirited” parent but I’m not a uptight one either.
It’s not chaotic to let them bring toys out every where as long as they clean them up. They are your kids but be mindful the more you are strict and suffocating the more they may want to pull away. But it truly is your house your rules
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Kids need rules! They need structure! I wouldn’t even call the examples you gave “strict”. Obviously there’s always exceptions to rules (like if they were sick and wanted to be around mama, they might want a toy or two in the living room/kitchen etc). Tell your parents to mind their own! It’s YOUR job to raise YOUR children how you see fit. Sounds like you have some great kids!
Good lord tell your mom to mind hers… geez I wish my kids didnt pull things out everywhere. I’m having a terrible time with my 11yr old she is constantly making slime and different concoctions from things all over the house. Now I dont mind it if it is done on the table and cleaned up afterwards. I just cleaned her room and went through everything and found 4 towels, and 3 pairs of pants ruined with paint, slime, glitter, glue ect. Along with several of my bowls and spoons ruined. In her bathroom under the sink was 5 empty shampoo bottles.
Yet she swears she didnt do it.
Well I know my 2yr didnt do it.
Kids will be kids but I agree structure and teaching them to clean up doesnt hurt them.
Mess here and there though momma that’s life with kids
I’m not strict at all yet I also receive compliments on how well behaved my kids are, especially my youngest. They can play with toys wherever they want as long as they’re cleaned up when they’re done. You don’t have to be a strict parent to raise well behaved kids. If that many people are commenting on your strictness there’s likely something to it.
There is a fine balance though, my parents were (and still are with their grandchildren) very strict. Strict to the point that when we hit our teen years, each one of us acted out (differently). 1 is into drugs, one went to prison for drugs but is clean now, one is a thief and a liar, and I had a baby at 19 and smoked a ton of pot. Be structured but dont be overbearing. Be proud that you have well behaved children, but also reward their behavior and dont strangle them with the tight leash you have them on. Dont be so lackadaisical that they become little disrespectful shits, but find a balance.
Only one of the 4 younger of us have a really good relationship with our parents now (the one who is still living at home and selling drugs) The rest of us give them their space and talk to them about once a month tops.
We don’t know every detail of your situation. The truth is, though, a lot of us “perfectly behaved” children weren’t happy and fight for our mental and emotional health every day now because of our parents who were so worried about what everybody thought and making us be their perfect little robots that they didn’t care what was happening in our hearts. Many of us couldn’t wait to escape our parents and our parents didn’t even realize it…because they silenced us our entire childhood.
I don’t think wanting a clean unmessy home is strict. If your mother wants them to be able to pull out their toys whenever wherever then is she going to pay for the housekeeping for your home to
If we didn’t have a play corner in my living room I’d never be able to watch “Beat Bobby Flay”
Invest in some dollar story bins and easy organization.
I’m the same way! But my parents would NEVER say that to me! In fact I raising my kids much like I was raised but I was taught & teach from a young age to be respectful and independent. Im also complimented regularly about my kids’ wonderful behavior, even from total strangers. Dont feel bad! You’re doing great!
Its hard to say since I don’t know how you act when those rules are broken if that makes sense? If having a puzzle in the living room means taking away a privilege for a week thennnn maybe to much but if you just find them and tell them to “please play with the puzzle in the appropriate spot” or however youd phrase it then I believe you’re simply doing your job as a parent to set boundaries. Our job is to prepare them for a world full of boundaries and major consequences for crossing them. Teaching them respect of boundaries is just great parenting to me. Again I haven’t seen this exchange inaction so who knows
I’m with you!!! Hubby and I are strict parents too and I’m proud to be. His mom can’t handle it and says we are just awful for it. She expects us to be more like his sister (who’s kid has almost set mine on fire… TWICE!!!). There is a difference in strict and well mannered!!! My sister, her kids never spent the night off until they were 18 because of how strict she is.
Kids should be allowed to be kids. Just bc you’re too lazy or don’t like their mess in your area isn’t an excuse to put them & all their stuff in their rooms. my son makes a mess in the living room & loves to show me his toys & I just pick them up when he goes to bed but he actually has a childhood & is allowed to play where ever he pleases. 
Better they learn now from a Mama who loves them than a boss later who thinks they’re a pain in the ass.
you are correct everybody parents very much differently. For example I’m stuck in a fifth wheel camper so my daughter’s toys are literally from one end of the camper to the other.my mom who has my other daughter will not allow her to have a TV in her room will not allow her to have her own phone. She’s not allowed to listen to any type of music except Jesus music. She can’t even listen to Jojo siwa okay. in fact I think it’s pretty sad that the kid can’t even listen to The Cheetah girls which has a Raven symone that I grew up watching on the Disney channel. She’s not allowed to have toys all over the house either only in her bedroom. but you do have to watch how strict you truly are because your kids can turn around and rebelling against that. Which is something my mother is currently going through as we speak. but with all honesty if you don’t mind me saying they are only kids once in their life and when they’re grown that means their childhood is gone forever and they cannot get it back. I’m not saying that to be mean I’m saying that because I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. I’ve seen people be real strict on their kids and not even let them have a childhood and then their children grow up and be like wow I don’t even have good memories to share with my children because I was not allowed to be a kid. Also being strict does not have nothing to do with well-mannered children. Discipline yes. But well-mannered children does not come from you not allowing them to have toys all over the house. Just saying
Good for you. Think it quite hurt full of your mom to say something like that. Kids thrive on structure. Makes the home feel stable and dependable.
I’m very strict as well. I resonate with a lot of what you said, although my daughter is allowed to bring toys out, as long as she puts one thing away before bringing out the next. Everyone’s different !
We do the same in our household, they are allowed to bring one toy out of their room when they wa, to play with something else they have to put what they were playing with back up. And we stress manners at all times! This is what is wrong with so many children today they need structure and rules, we need more parents who parent their children!
We have a play room but there’s no toys in their room (this isn’t because of strictness or anything, their room is upstairs and the living space is downstairs and I don’t like them upstairs without an adult, so toys upstairs is pointless, lol. They’re 5 and 3) and toys are only allowed in the play room aside from the occasional baby doll they want to watch TV with and whatnot. Their toys are sorted in bins, not just thrown into a toy box. They don’t have 24 hour access to play dough, crayons, or art supplies (they know to ask if they want to color or play with the special items and they have to have the play room clean first. We also play with these items at the table) We clean up what we’re not playing with throughout the day, we don’t watch TV while eating, we eat at the table, we don’t yell inside, we don’t put feet on the furniture, we have scheduled nap time, food and drinks stay in the kitchen, we always say, “please, thank you, ma’am, sir”. We don’t use tablets at home or when out to eat…
I guess I shouldn’t be a mom either? Lol
It sounds like you have a nice balance in your home. I have very similar rules myself especially when it comes to toys being all over the place. It sounds like you have a good handle on things.
My son has his play room and he’s allowed to bring his toys out, to other parts of the home but he’s also very good about putting them back where they belong. Sometimes he’s not so good about it, so I clean up after bedtime. Everyone parents different. I personally, don’t like toys laying around the house and will have him clean up after playtime or I will do it after he’s asleep.
Girl I WISH I could keep my kids toys in their room. We have the “if you’re done playing with it put it up before you get another”
I don’t see how you can be that “strict” if you have kids out of wedlock. Not trying to be rude either. No judgement by any means.
I grew up in a strict house hold, I am more strict than my siblings when it comes to parenting but I have more kids and kinda have to be or it would be like “the loud house”. We always have toys all over but they have to clean them. They have to say please and thank you, they can’t back talk or go with out asking but they are 7 and under. I don’t agree with your moms statement, in the world we now live in is so different from the world they did and I do believe that they are taught most from the way they were raised. My siblings and I (strict upbringing) are not into drugs or have been in jail, I’ve never even had a speeding ticket. I’ve had to work for what I have and at age 28 on almost owning home #3 and every we have I think my parents did great!
Keep doing what u are doing ! your on the right path enjoy your well behave kids
No. You are the parent every kid needs. I also get compliments on my son’s behavior. I was told I was “too strict” and was harming him. Nope, he is about to turn 15 and adults love spending time with him because he is polite and helpful and clean.
I doubt you are a bad parent your mom sounds like she is over reacting it’s refreshing to go anywhere nowadays and see kids behaving hats off to your trying to raise your kids right and teach them manners. You might be keeping them from ending up in jail someday
My in laws called me a warden once. What do I know? No toys allowed downstairs at my house either. A few things get brought down sometimes but with 4 kids a few things each really messes up the place. Strangers feel the need to compliment my kids in restaurants every time we go to one. Don’t sweat it
Stay structured mama it’s better for them.
I dont let my kids drag toys out all over the house but they have bad attitudes regardless of how strict we are
I grew up in a strict household. It had a few benefits but it stifled creativity and learning to live in the moment. Kids need to feel free sometimes
Im trying soooo hard to shift my parenting style to something like yours tbh. Ive been free parenting for over 2 years and for our family specifically, it was a bad move. My son is off the walls.
Well, I hate to burst your bubble of no chaos… but umm. You being strict doesn’t have much of anything to do with your kids being well behaved and having manners. At home I literally let my kids run wild. In every sense of the word. My kids, at home have toys literally all over the house, the toddlers run around naked and ride their trikes inside the house. And yet, my kids never ever have tantrums while shopping. My oldest is always on her best behavior when at a friend’s. I get compliments all the time about how well behaved and polite my kids are. And yet, my heathens run free and wild at home and I am the complete opposite of strict. Honestly, it doesn’t sound like you’re strict. Just sounds like you have OCD. It’s working out for you, for now. Good luck later on with them. My kids are 10 year old daughter and 3 year old twin sons. Yes, my house is the definition of a disaster. But, my kids are happy, yet well mannered. So really, the only thing I actually inforce is please and thank you. Unless we’re in public or someone else’s home. Then I also expect them to play nice, don’t grab stuff “look, but don’t touch”, and say bye bye.
I’m not at all strict but doing things the way you do does not make you a bad parent! I’m sad your mom is making you second guess yourself 
I wish I’d have been more strict when my kids were little!
Um no. Structure is important and so much of it is missing today. Keep doing what you think is best, trust your instincts mama.
I have toys in my living room. I like having my kids in the room with us so we can all interact… does it get messy yup it sure does but at the end of the day we all chip in and clean up and start fresh the next day. Im strict when it comes to respect and their behavior im raising kind humans thats my goal in life if my kids grow up to know they are loved supported and good people then I have done my job as their mom
I say well done for have polite well behaved kids! As long as your kids are not timid or scared of you and are happy, I don’t see the problem?!
Nothing wrong with strict parenting, to a degree. Without knowing all the facts and from just what you’ve given us I would say it sounds like you’re being a bit harsh on them. but just be aware that kids may not always fall into line and what worked for them as kids may not work as teenagers.
It depends. If your approach is demeaning to them and she saw that, it could be the reason why she made that comment. Just check your childrens body language and faces when you make comments at them.
Sounds like you are doing a great job growing responsible adults! Just tell your mom you can raise your child your own way now