My mom undermines my parenting: Advice?

How do you handle mothers who constantly try to underminde your parenting with your own kid? she was not much of a mom to me when i was growing up so i feel like she is trying to take over with my kid to fill some void and i am over it


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom undermines my parenting: Advice?

Dealing with this as we speak. I just laid the line and brought my son home early from the farm from his summer holiday. If they can’t respect you, then they lose the privilege. They had their day to be a parent and do things their way. It’s our kid and our turn. Toxic is toxic. Just make sure you explain the situation TRUTHFULLY so there are no hard feelings from the kiddo.

If you don’t live at home with her just cut her off if she can’t respect you

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Thats a bummer, that being said, nobody parents the same way, maybe have a quick non confrontational convo with her and just state in your own words that you (feel) she is overstepping some boundaries and you’d like to try and prove you worth of motherhood to yourself in your own ways. And state if you need any advise you will come to her for her opinions/ advise :heart: good luck!

Take your mum out for lunch without the kids and have an honest conversation. “Hey mum, i really love having you around with the kids, but xyz I’d like to deal with in my own way. Being Nan can you back me up please, I dont like arguing or having to change the way I want to parent”. If she’s receptive you can get more in to it. If she’s not, assert yourself regardless and draw your lines.
I dont believe in continuing generational issues and trauma to protect feelings. We all need to be accountable for where we are at here and now and most people are willing to navigate problems if you bring it up with them nicely. Those who have zero respect for others just end up pushing themselves out of peoples lives.


Honestly, don’t put up with it. Set clear boundaries and consequences to those boundaries like, no unsupervised times or less visits.


Move out of her house.

So if she wasn’t much of a mom to you then why do you have your child around her? Make it make sense.

l Get paid over $134 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16589 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This.

Just keep putting her in her place rather you do it nicely or nice with a little rude and she will eventually stop. I dealt with this and finally my mom got it and understood. That’s a grandma thing. Just like when the kids are sick she’ll tell you to give them them Tylenol etc and ask about fevers etc. You can say, I know this but thank you. My mom still tells me to do it along with this and that and I tell 14 years and 4 kids and they’re all alive so I must know what I’m doing. All grandma’s worry more about their grandchildren than they did us. Or at least that’s what I’ve seen with many people. My mom won’t let my kids walk up a small drive but when I was a kid I had to walk up a driveway almost a mile long. Lol

Just look her in the eye and tell her she isn’t a parent anymore and to knock it off.

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l Get paid over $134 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16589 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This.

I’ve never known or heard of anyone going through this besides my siblings and I. So I am relieved to know someone else goes through this. And honestly yes I 100% believe they are trying to make up for what they missed out with us and I let her. There was a point where I couldn’t take it and I removed me and my son from her life for 6 months and then she reached out and she didn’t undermine me anymore and I let her be the best grandma she wanted to be with my child cuz at the end of the day even though I didn’t get that from her I’m glad she is the person she is with the grandkids and they deserve all the love we missed out on. My son is 12 and he spends any weekend and weeks during the summer he can with her. In a way it’s made her a better mom towards us and I am so grateful how things are now. All anyone wants in life no matter what age is love from their parents and at the beginning when he was a baby I was hurt cuz where was this love when we were growing up and what makes my child worth it when I wasn’t? For me I had to let go and understand nothing can change my childhood but she is here now and wants to make things right and it made our relationship better in the end. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out!

Call her on it. Tell her if she doesn’t stop it, she can’t see the kids anymore. Then if she does it again ghost her for awhile. Maybe when you do finally reestablish contact, she’ll not do it anymore. But if she does, you may have to go no contact again. Tell her you mean what you say. If she wants a relationship with her grandkids, she has to respect your boundaries. If she can’t do that you’ll stay away.

You seem to have turned out ok regardless of your mom’s imperfections, so taking a little advice from one that is trying to make it better for her grandchild than she was able to do for you isn’t so awful. But she still needs to let you make the rules and stand by you so the child isn’t confused.

l Get paid over $137 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16234 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This.

Wanting to live the victories and defeats, triumphs and tragedy’s of parenting is your right as much as it was her’s, tell her you hope she enjoyed her time being a parent because you intend to squeeze every drop out of your precious time as one

I wouldn’t allow or tolerance that.

You need to have a conversation with your mom and let her know that you are the parent. She needs to respect your authority and your rules. If she can’t or won’t, she will be able to come for visits at your home.

She had her chance to be a mom, and this is yours. Explain this to her, that this is your walk with your child, and if you have any questions you will ask(not that you will, but you could let her think you will).

Nope nope nope. If you are living with her…move out and limit access. If you are not living with her…limit access until she can respect you as a parent.