My mother dislikes my husbands family: Advice?

My mother can’t stand my husband and his family. I moved away from my hometown up North about three months ago. I now live in the South, roughly an 18-hour drive away from my parents. When my husband and I moved with our family, his parents also moved. My family seems to think I’m choosing my husband’s family over them and are not supportive of my decision to move at all. How do I handle them trying to guilt-trip me about this?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother dislikes my husbands family: Advice?

They should support you in your choices unless he or they puts you in danger. They are making the choice to separate themselves from you because of who you chose to marry, it’s on them.


Ur "parents"need to grow the fuck up and u need to keep focusing on UR family (husband and kids)

Your husband is your family now. And your relatives should support you


I’m literally moving in 2 weeks to south with my SO and son. All his family is there and my mother says she’s happy for me but always tries to make me feel guilty . I wasn’t disrespectful but I was honest and straight forward with her: I love you mom and this move is what’s best for ME and MY son. Either you can respect that and be supportive or you don’t need to speak to me.


Tell your family to grow up


I’d flip it and say well mom if you loved us like his parents you’d move to lol. But she needs to support you or cut her off


prayers for all all around


You’re an adult. Your mom needs to stop trying to control you. This is part of growing up.

You tell them to grow the hell up. It could be worse. Trust me lol. They should want peace and happiness in your life. If they feel inferior maybe they should change the way they are with you guys

You simply stand up for your husband. If your parents don’t like him. Well I mean there nothing you can do. But ignore.

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Agree with her, yes it is difficult to be away from family. My husband and I moved because— His parents made their d vision on their own. It will be all the :new: cer when we see each other

That is nit it they are worried you and kids so far away call home alot let them know you guys are great do not bring his family up on conversation

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Move in between both of them if ur able to other then that do whats best for your family

They will, because essentially your husband is taking you away from them. Although it’s your choice, it’s just sad for your parents. If this is something you want, you need to tell them you want it too. It’s going to be different and weird and awkward coming back for holidays and all that good stuff, but if you want it, tell them, or they will hold it against you for a long time.

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Your married you and your husband are family make your own way


I moved an 8 hour drive from my family and my mother wouldn’t even come by and say goodbye. Fast forward 4 years and things went so down hill we haven’t spoken. Not just because we moved, no she did manage to come visit twice. But not any more. You just have to move on and do what’s best for you.

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Personally if your HAPPY then dont feel guilty. I just told my daughter I’m done with her and situation. I’m selling everything and moving south. All they do is use me for money etc and I’m finally sick of them time to live my life.


Ur husband an kids are ur family now…
Tell ur mom she already live her life and to let u live your life…
If she cant accept then have nothing to tell her either she accept u have a life of ur own now … Because u are doing what pleases u now an that is living ur life with ur husband an kids …
You are grown woman with kids it is ur life not hers, She cannot control ur Martial home otherwise u and ur husband put her in her place…
The day ur husband tells ur Mother to back off she will learn to know ur husband is the man of house …
Either she accepts it or stay out of ur Maritial home …
Do not allow family to intervene in ur life put a STOP TO IT…

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She feels left out.
She’s allowed her feelings but she’s not allowed to disrespect you or your choice.
Talk to her honestly about how her words are affecting you and discuss another way she can be involved with you in your life.
Communication is always key.
Best of luck sorting it out!

That’s great that his parents were in a position to also move and support your decision to move across the country. It sounds like your parents aren’t in that same position and it puts them at a disadvantage. It may not be that they dislike your husband’s family but they are jealous of the time spent together that they aren’t able to enjoy. Part of their hearts just moved away and they can’t hug and kiss them daily, that hurts. (Speaking as a mama and grandma in that position, with retired son-in-law parents planning to move this year close to their son, my daughter and grandbabies).

You moved away from them for good reason by the sound of it.

Your parents are very selfish it’s your life and if they cannot accept your decisions it’s their loss

Your parents lived their lives already. It’s your turn to make decisions for what’s best for you and the family you created. Your mom and dad are selfish for making you feel guilty.

Good luck in your new home!!

Tell them to fuck off. You’ve made a decision which you think, feel or believe will benefit YOUR family - being your husband and children, or future children if you don’t have any.

They don’t have to like it. They’re entitled to an opinion… but they do need to respect the choice you’ve made.

Keep 'em separated :rofl:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother dislikes my husbands family: Advice?

I have 2 children and 2 grandchildren living abroad. I miss them like crazy, but they’re adults, their choice and as long as they are happy, I’m happy
It’s not your parents place to tell you where to live. You are an adult. Seems they are not. They need to mind their own business and love you no matter what.

You married your husband for your happiness. Not Your Mothers.

Tell them to grow up. The end.


You made a commitment to your husband…not anyone else…and that in itself says to go forth and seek out a life with him…separate from others including family…you are now making a family of your own…it does not matter who dislikes your husband…your opinion is what matters…sometimes space is a blessing in cases like yours…and I would just move on with your life as you see fit …but always remember to show love and compassion to all…including ones who do not agree with your choices…

It’ll take time. Reassure them you’ll still visit if your relationship with them is a healthy one. They miss you and they don’t have to agree with your choices but they do have to respect that it’s what you want to do. You’re a grown adult. It might be hard for them to get used to but they’ve got no choice but to do it. Talk to them, set boundaries, stand firm in your decision. But also make sure when you set roots in that place to make circles of your own, there is nothing worse than moving somewhere and having absolutely nobody to talk to. Especially if things go south, not that they will, but as a safety precaution. If they continue to guilt trip you, maybe try going limited contact for a little while.

You married him, he married you. You didn’t marry the family. You are now your own family. They can just get over it or don’t. Tell them to knock it off.

I’d be distancing yourself from mom for sure


Can’t really advise when you didn’t elaborate why your family chooses to disassociate with your husbands family. With the little information given, tell your family that not everyone stays in the town they were born in for their entire life, they need to get over it, and allow you to have your own life experiences and learning lessons. If you’re meant to move back, one day you’ll move back. If not, you’ll continue to love them while enjoying the short time you have on this planet, exploring the country and having your own experiences.


You could do what I do and just stop talking to toxic people that think you need to change your life to please them. My mother’s family now says “they just think they’re better than us”, in truth we are but not because we don’t talk to them.

At the end of the day it’s your life to live not anyone else’s.


When you got married, you made your own family. The only thing you owe your family is polite respect and nothing more. You have to move with your husband. He is the bread winner and provider of your home.


Tell them they can move closer to you if they are so concerned or be quiet about it. Sounds very immature. I would hang up every time they start talking about it. I also moved 16 hours away from my family and friends to the south with my now husband. His family already lives here and both of our families get along great.


Invite them to move also.

Tell them to grow up

Y’all are dating each other not anyone else. It’s y’all two as a couple. If you worry about what everyone else says and does then that will ruin y’all’s relationship. You can’t not worry about other people in Y’ALL’S DECISIONS so don’t stress it


Whether they do or not…what does it matter? I mean I get that it would be great if they did but you can’t control how other people feel. They have their reasons I’m sure…just like you have yours.

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tell them their toxic behavior is why you moved 18 hours away :woman_shrugging:t2:

Your mother feels she’s been replaced. Go the extra mile for a while-call every week, text pics of your new home (involve her in decorating) & city. Invite them if possible for a visit as soon as you’re comfortable. She’s losing (to her thinking) her most precious daughter and she’s hurting. Be kind.


You did move away from your family to be with his family so, as a mother, I get it. Some of these people ought to be ashamed saying you shouldn’t talk to your mother anymore. I want my kids close to me so I can keep my eyes on them and help them if needed. I’ve seen lots of women move to be with a man and things go bad and she can’t move back because of court cases/custody cases. I’ve been through the court system with my kids so much that I get it and I feel your parents pain and concern. They want to keep you safe and keep you close to them where they know you are safe. They’re probably mad that your husband and his family talked you into this. Cut your mom some slack girl because these are worried parents that love you. I personally think you’re making a huge mistake. If things go bad, you’re stuck! You can’t go back home because you can’t take the kids with you. You are stuck there all alone with no one to help you. I wouldn’t have left but that’s coming from someone who’s been in and out of the court system with children.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother dislikes my husbands family: Advice?

Ignore both family’s! Crack on with your life, if they can’t handle it then that’s there loss. You can’t live your life trying to please both families.

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Good thing it’s you married to your husband and not your Mum. Your life, do as you please and what’s best for you and your little family.

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Tell them to grow up!

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There must be a reason your family feel this way seems like you say one thing and do another, at the end of the day its your choice and you made it

So she can’t stand them because you moved? Seems silly.

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I’m learning the last couple of years
Adult children are suppose to move on to their lives
Parents hopefully raised you to be able to do this
It hurts the heart but the head knows your doing what you should be doing for your family now

They are proud
Maybe just didn’t realize how hard it is to see you become a responsible adult.

Give them time.

You don’t. They dont need an explanation. You’re an adult. A lot of thought goes into moving, especially when you have a family of your own. If his parents decided to move because they wanted to stay close by then so be it. That was there choice just as your parents decided to stay where they are. No matter what you tell them, they already made up a scenario in their heads and will stick by it. If they approach the matter, do and say what you feel is best. Don’t feel guilty about making a decision to better your family.

If both of you are resposoble dont be craig to ether famaly go to that reunion you are i nviret

They are afraid you and the grandkids will forget about them and abandon them. Reassure them through FaceTime and video chats to keep in touch, send pictures from your kids, visit them as often as you can, encourage them to visit & don’t invite the in-laws to participate when they visit you. They’ll be fine, it’s hard when your kids leave the nest, and harder still when they move far enough away so you can’t see them easily.

I’m thinking you’re in-laws now live close to you and not in the same house with you. That would be weird.

Also, how far away from retirement are your parents? Let them know they are welcome to move closer to you once they can leave their long-term jobs.