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QUESTION:
"My Mother in law wants to know my whereabouts like if I go out once a week she needs to know who and where I go and make comments that I don't like or need to hear as if I am doing something wrong.. we leave with them together with my 2 kids I have a job his son doesn't I feel suffocated.. and honestly she is not good for me mentally.. she pretends to like me when my gut feeling says she doesn't.. I don't talk to her.. I always stay in our room to avoid talking to her."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"The only control she has over you is the control you let her have over you. Just because she wants to know everything does not mean you have to tell her. The only time it is her business where you are, is if she is watching your kids."
"Find another sitter. Then you won’t feel guilty and you can do whatever you want. You are a grown ass woman with kids who should not have to answer to anyone"
"Start preparing for alternate childcare and living arrangements don’t tell anyone. As it seems toxic so i am going to go out on a limb and say if she knew you were looking she would make it worst again"
"Put it to your man to buck up and have your back (along with help provide for your little family) or give yourself space with your own unit with the kids."
"Is she watching your kids when you leave or is there a reason she needs to know. I mean if your living in her house you really don’t have the right to complain. I lived with family and it sucks but their house their rules. Time to move"
"Sounds like she has anxiety. She’s worried about you. Talk to her without judgement. Explain how you feel & hear her out. It’s really rough on people with anxiety. Especially with so many horror stories like Gabby & all those who are killed or missing. She probably does like you. That’s why she’s asking. It’s not control, although it feels that way. It’s concern. She just needs to know you’re safe & the people you hang out, work with are safe."
"Your gut feeling is usually right! I always had that feeling with my future inlaws, and turned out I was 100% right. I never experinced that, but you don’t owe her an explanation or to know your wherabouts! That’s super weird and possieve."
"Girl, sounds like he needs to be taking more responsibility. Why are you the only one working? Sounds like my ex. Best thing I ever did was leave him and do it on my own without supporting him"
"Everyone is assuming that the MIL watches the kids. What if the husband is actually watching the kids and the MIL just wants to be nosy as hell? Maybe she doesn’t like her and wants an excuse to separate them? If the husband is watching the kids, there ia no reason for the MIL to ask her anything or make any comments. Especially because the OP is the one who works."
"Maybe since you’re avoiding her, she is confused and curious about what you’re up to when you leave. Perhaps seeing you in passing in the only thing/time she is given the opportunity to chat with you. You could simply ask why she wants to know? You could also move out."
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