My mother-in-law is getting to me: What should I do?

Go no communication with her and the people in the house. Block her and them on everything.

She is his mother. Let him talk to her about it. Don’t fight with your mother in law, it won’t end well for you even if you are right. Comments can be repeated in ways that make you look bad. Let him make the comments to avoid that. It sounds like some compassion is appropriate here, remember people are sometimes ill in ways we don’t see. If you feel cornered, tell her son will discuss it. (I had the mother in law from hades for near 50 years, just don’t travel my journey…lol)

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Stop answering the phone :woman_shrugging:

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I would tell her exactly what you posted!

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It’s a 2 way street stop trying

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Your husband needs to man up. He’s the one that needs to stop all that.

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Ignore it & live your life.

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Take care of your family & live your best life.

Tell her your door is always open. She’s toxic!!

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She sounds like a “convenient grandma.” I wouldn’t let it bother you too much, if the opportunity to see your family is there and she isn’t taking advantage of it, you have done your job. Let her sulk in her choices and don’t feed into it. My MIL is the same way.

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You never got around to telling us what the comments and remarks that she makes???
I want to know how toxic she is…
It comes down to this is your husband‘s responsibility it’s his mom and he needs to handle it.
It sounds like you are being a good daughter-in-law, continue being a good daughter-in-law. There’s only so much you can do and you’re doing your part. 

I had the same issue with one of my In laws…
She didn’t understand all 3 kids were in 3 different sports, 3 different schools, and I had a full time job… Plus my daughter was on a traveling sports team. When Saturday before Christmas my husband and the boys showed up me and my daughter didn’t show up we were two hours planned late,  this lady refused to give me and my daughter Christmas presents that she had already bought because we didn’t respect her to be there on time… she knew my daughter had a sudden death softball tournament. Meaning the first time you lose your out… her team did really good and lasted longer than we expected!! So I get what you mean

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Tell her Exactly what you told us except the part where your husband disagrees she’s a good mom. Literally spell it all out.

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Jut send her a copy of this post

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Sounds like your husband is choosing to ignore her commentary, you should follow suit.
Sounds like she is unhappy in her situation but is doing nothing to change it, that’s not your responsibility. She’s just transferring it into you. Have you heard misery loves company? Don’t fall for it. She’s made her choices. Let her live with them.
Don’t let her transfer that to your family. Be happy in your life.

Sounds like you distance yourself. She sounds toxic.

Someone needs to tell MIL the road runs in two directions.

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Why do you sit on the phone and listen to it…How do you sit in person and listen to it…Hang up on her or get yo and walk out! Tell her abt her nasty house and nasty attitude

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Yes, move on, someday she"ll be sorry!! But, too late!!

Just tell her she’s the one missing out and not for lack of effort on your part. It’s not your job to make sure family is in their lives… it’s theirs.

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Don’t be quite so nice and accommodating and see what she says!!!

Young one, sounds like she projecting her unhappiness with her life unto you. Sounds as if there may be a problem with her due to living in the condition she has chosen. Is it a good and safe environment for at her at that house? From what you’ve stated - adult abuse comes to mind . Try this - listen to what she says not how she says it- repeat back to her what she says to you before you answer/reply to her. Instead of trying to make plans - be spontaneous with her- just show up and wisk her away for a “girls day” ,lunch, or even a movie. You step out of your comfort zone , pull her out of her comfort zone, and together get comfortable. :sunflower::v:t4:

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Some people just like to be the victim. Maybe she just likes to complain because it gets her the poor me sympathy that she wants from those around her. You only hear what you put up with. Stop making it so easy for her to be the toxic link in your life.

She can move her own ass and make the effort herself. If she can’t do that, than don’t accommodate her, if she really wanted to be near her grand kids, she will make the effort

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