My mother in law makes me feel like I am not parenting right: Advice?

My mother-in-law has my 2 yr old over a few times a month, and we go over weekly to have dinner, and my MIL is very close to my daughter. She’s our second child. And it always seems as though every time she comes home, or even any time, my MIL has something to say about her. She recently wanted to start sleeping in her room, and I let her, and she’s doing very good besides the occasional I don’t want to go to sleep I don’t want to sleep in here, but then after a few minutes, she falls asleep and then she will ask me questions like oh is she sleeping by herself? What if she hits her head on the side of the bed? Do you let her sleep with y’all if she’s asking you to? And she will always revert to asking me what I did with my oldest daughter. Like if I made her sleep in her own room too. My oldest is not from my now fiancé and is she’s 7. I did do things a lot differently with my first, and I realized keeping them in my bed wasn’t really helping with being scared of everything, so when they asked to sleep in their rooms, I was scared for them, but I’ve stuck to it, and they are doing really well. I just don’t know how to deal with all the questions. It’s like if I’m always doing something wrong, so I constantly question myself. And also, she brought her back from staying the night and she said that my daughter told them that we are mean and that we spank her really hard and that she doesn’t want to come home n wants to stay with her. And I will admit yes, we believe in spanking no, not all the time, and yes, here I make her clean up after herself, but she is extremely stubborn, so I do put her in time out and spank her from time to time. I guess what I’m asking is how do you deal with that? I always feel like I’m doing everything wrong as a parent, and obviously, I can’t keep my 2 yr old from saying everything, but it seems like even though I know what I’m doing and I’m not hurting my children, I can’t help but feel like they think that I am and they’ll try to use it against me somehow, and also I can’t get it out of my head, and I feel like I’m mentally breaking myself down.

Please do not let her get to you. I don’t know why some mother in laws are like this, lol. But you are doing an amazing job mama! Keep doing what YOU feel is best for your babies!

First stop spanking she’s too young for it and it’s very emotionally not a good idea second tell your mil to stop butting in. Tell her politely that if she can not just be a grand mother and love her grand baby then visits will limited because she is undermining your parenting no explanations just that this a dictorship not a democracy.