You don’t need the drama if they show they should be separated on there best behavior remember this is YOUR day. Best wishes an congratulations
I would say not to invite them. It’s supposed to be a special day and would hate for it to be ruined if they don’t know how to act. But I do think it’s something to discuss with your fiancé.
She’s just bluffing believing you will do exactly what she wants cause as you said you don’t want your fiancee not to have his parents there, and that’s what she’s counting on
Sounds like you can kill two birds with one stone. It’s your special day.
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It should be up to your future husband to make the decision and talk to his parents. You keep out of it ,otherwise the blame will be on you. If she does come seat her in the middle, further down
I’m sorry you are going through this and I’m sure you fiance sees what is happening so ask him for his input considering it is his family. The wedding is about you two, not the bride’s family or the groom’s family. If they cannot behave like adults just simply forget to invite them and their drama.
Your Mil is a manipulative woman.She had no right to tell you who to invite to your wedding.How awful to tell her own son she wont attend if she doesnt get what she wants.Dont fold.If you know shes going to ruin your special day dont invite her.If his mom doesnt show oh well seems your both better off without such a controlling person in your lives anyway.
She’s bluffing. It’s also a new engagement. If you guys hold strong then mil will get on board by the time the day comes. Your fiancé needs to take the reins though and really lay down the law that he is NOT inviting potential drama to HIS wedding. Don’t even make it ours. He needs to stand up to her. She’s being very manipulative.
Sometimes you have to break away from toxic people even if they are family. You do not have to invite them. You have invited the special ones you want to come. If they do not come, then accept their decision. You shouldn’t have to give in to emotional blackmail!
We have family like this as well I made it known that if any fights were to start those in the fight would be removed from the property. It’s your day not hers if she can’t keep her mouth closed for one day then that’s on her. You at tried to include her
Dont be black mailed by anyone, parents or not.
What they decide is their perogative, after all your not going to be living with them, you have your own family unit and if his sister is nasty then she won’t be annoyed putting a damper on your day, thats right you and your fiance and children, your day 
God bless and extract those who would try to ruin your happiness
Personally I’d tell the MIL that it’s your decision who to invite/not invite. I would express that you and your fiancé want her there, but it’s their decision not to attend if they cannot respect your decision.
Also, I’d rather have someone not attend and it be a peaceful ceremony than invite someone you don’t want there and it cause a blow up.
Let him make the decision since it will be his loss of family. And you support him 100% in his decision. If she causes a scene that’s on her and your MIL. It will be ok you will still be married no matter what. It might put a damper on the ceremony but don’t let it ruin your forever.
I think you should put your foot down now. Tell MIL that this is your wedding and your marriage. You two will make your own decisions without her. We are inviting you to come, but not the sister. If you choose not to come, that’s on you mom.
If your husband to be disagrees with his Mom, then send her a invitation and if she doesn’t come it’s her loss.
It’s a shame that all family can’t be there; bit, in some cases, they can ruin the event. I would hate for your wedding to be spoiled by them. Get your fiance to decide and tell them. Tell his family that it’s his decision and you will go along with his wishes. Be on the same page with your fiance and support each others decision. If they are already threatening you, the wedding would be ruined if they come. Good luck.
I would pray on it. But sometimes being the one to take the higher road is best. Its not a power struggle unless you let there be one. Yes its your day. But there is wisedom in what your mother in law is saying and maybe she is trying to help mend the bond.
Its your wedding. Do what you want too. Or you will regret it.
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She would only be punishing herself by not coming. She has no dog in this fight, your wedding, your guest list.
Ok, look…this stuff is tough. I’m not on the best terms with my younger brother. But I’m adult to him. I don’t punish my mother for what he did years ago. What I do though is place boundaries. I see him at her house, Im fine. I don’t hate anyone. My wedding was last year. I invited him for my mother’s sake. I wanted my niece and nephew there though. He came. It took no one a whole 5 minutes after meeting him to know why we didn’t get along. I wanted family portraits. He’s up there saying ‘everyone up here because I’m only doing this once’ - look at the big picture. Do you really want him to look back at your wedding and remember his family not being there. Be the bigger person and let them show their own true colors. Things we do today are the things we look back on tomorrow and regret sucks. If she shows her ass, that’s on her. If she acts like an adult, then good for her. Either way, you weren’t the cause. Family is always family. If he doesn’t want them there and he makes that call, fine. But don’t let your name be in the middle of it.
It’s your wedding if your mother-in-law doesn’t like it tell her not to come as well this is your special day do what makes you happy!!!
You both want this marriage and want it to work? Elope! Your marrying each other not the parents. Speaking from experience here. Been married 30 years and now the in-laws and I finally get along and his sisters both finally accepted me and we actually get along now! Not saying this will be your outcome but there’s always hope!
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This is a desicion for you and your Hubby to talk through together. The sister may be bring the drama and make a scene. Its really about how much it means to him. My bio mother wont be at my wedding. Its not the end of the world to me, I cut her out over 8 yrs ago. I try every few years to redeem a relationship, but It never works.
It’s your wedding. Invite only who is absolutely necessary.
The sister needs to apologize to you and your fiancé for her outlandish behavior. The MIL needs to keep her nose out of your business.
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It’s your wedding. You don’t need anymore children at your wedding. If MIL gets her way, what is she going try to manipulate next! I hope you have a lovely day😀
May I just ask what the young man thinks about his parents and sister attending? Its him and you who should make this decision between you. It’s your special day. If you think they will ruin it for you dont invite any of them.
That sis in law is jealous of you and will try to ruin your wedding day. Talk with your hubbie, let him take the lead…if not, Try calling her and making peace with her , long before the wedding day. Keep discussions between you and her…LEAVE MIL OUT OF THE DISCUSSION. If the two of you can’t reach some sort of agreement, don’t invite her. If MIL don’t come so be it! Live your best life, congratulations, and enjoy it!
Invite all his family. If they show they show. Enjoy your day either way. Be very busy having fun and avoid any contact with whom you feel is best ignored. You’re going to be held responsible for any drama. Have a talk with your fiance and make sure you’re both on the same page and will support one another on ALL decisions.
It’s your wedding not hers. His mother made her choice, you surround yourself with the family, friends and other loved ones who love and care for you and support you.
If MIL won’t come because you didn’t invite someone who has done nothing but cause you drama then MIL doesn’t need to come either. This is your special day and you certainly don’t want to risk it getting ruined by family drama. Especially, since they can’t seem to contain themselves. Best wishes.
Elope, donate to a charity. Don’t give these bullies any more time. Make a decision that is right for you and your groom and move on from the drama.
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Then tell her you’ll miss her. That’s her choice and her problem. There’s a lot I let slide during my wedding that now I would not have. You invite who you want and it’s up to them to choose to come or not
Have the wedding in Vegas or the tropics. Offer to pay for his parents to attend. Invite the sister but do not pay for them to attend. Hopefully it will weed them out.
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It’s your wedding if she is a drama queen she will cause drama that what she does so I say no don’t invite her and his mother will have to get over it or not. It’s your day don’t let someone ruin it.
Invite who you want to and don’t invite whoever you don’t want to. I assume you are in agreement on these. It is up to the person getting an invitation to either come or decline. This is your and your fiancé’s day, not your MIL’s. She had her wedding and she has no business telling you what you can or cannot do on your’s. If she decides not to come, look at it as her loss; you will still have a day of your choosing. It sounds like this is not the only time that you and your future husband will have to present a united front against her. From someone who has been there.
You’re not stuck. You and your partner have a choice. Invite who you really want there. The people who love and care for your union, or invite people out of guilt? I’ve stopped people pleasing a long time ago. Only the people who love me, care about my well-being, apologize if they’re wrong and make changes, are allowed in my life. And I treat people the same way.
Well it’s obvious where sil got her immaturity from (mil) lol no advice really but if she is not wanting to go just because you won’t invite sil then is it even worth it? Sometimes family relationships cant be fixed and that’s ok. Mil needs to get over it
Your wedding day is YOUR DAY! Do not allow people to take away from you the things that they do not invest into you! Sounds like the SIL is the way she is because of the MIL. Just burn the bridge and keep moving, not even worth your time. Stay happy and healthy. Their loss…
Just my opinion, but I would tell the MIL that she is making her own choice in this. It is your wedding and you are not required to invite anyone that would cause a scene or make you feel bad. If the MIL can’t handle that then so be it.
On the one hand, I agree with mother-in-law that you should and your finance’s sister should come to terms. However, on the other hand, it’s YOUR wedding. Not your MOTHER-IN-LAW’S. And, not, your soon to be SISTER-IN-LAW’S. So, unless she’s paying for the wedding, I would tell her, “I am sorry that you feel that way. But, the wedding will go on with or without you.” Again, this is your wedding, NOT HERS.
Don’t let mil bully you. Find out what your husband really wants because it is his family. Present it as a joint decision, and stand together behind it. If you let her bully you now, it will never stop.
Ask yourself’s are you marring each other or your families. She don’t want to come that’s why she made that over the wall request.
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If you as a couple decided not to invite SIL so be it! Still invite MIL even if she’s a no show…let her know you guys have carefully considered inviting the SIL (don’t tell her it’s just a flat out no! lol) tell her something like you’d genuinely love for her to join in and celebrate this special day…unfortunately under the current circumstances the benefit of having her there doesn’t outweigh the risk of any issues that could arise bc of her attendance!!! Best of luck and congratulations on your engagement!!!
We went through the same thing , neither parent of my husband showed up for our wedding ( because they didnt want to see each other). It’s your wedding , their decision to come or not! We have been married 37 years and it didn’t matter to us! It was childish and they missed out but we still had a beautiful wedding!
I myself don’t respond well to ultimatums, so I would just have the wedding without her, no problem. But since this is your husband’s family I would defer to whatever he wants to do. If they come, they come, if not, oh well.
If that’s how they feel then his mom will be the one to have to regret not going to the wedding. Just get married.thw mom can video ir and show his sister if she wants
Something like this was on Dr.Phil’s show once. The bride’s mother wasn’t going unless the bride invited someone the bride didn’t want there. Dr. Phil said” Well mom. We sure are sorry you aren’t going to make it. We will miss you. “ If you give in you will be giving in from now on. It’s called Emotional Black mail!
You can’t blame your MIL for being dismayed that her children don’t have a relationship with each other. It would be best for everyone if you all got along, fractured families are super complicated. Also, you will have many family events in the future. Maybe you should try to mend things again.
Tell her you’re sorry she will miss the wedding but it was her choice …You should not have to worry on your wedding day if a fight will erupt…
If she chooses not to come that is on her. It isn’t very adult like to try and force you to invite someone you are not comfortable with. Stand your ground.
Invite his dad. Tell dad that mom can come, but sister is not invited and will not be invited.
Tell his parents they are invited and you want them there for your celebration and for the wedding photos. But the sister is not invited. Stick to your guns. Both of you have to agree on this or it won’t work.
If you give in think of all the grief ahead. Toxic ppl cause trouble.
Tell dear sweet Mom she and the sister both to grow up, this YOUR wedding not theirs!
I think you should talk it all out with your fiancée. Make your concerns known. But ultimately, I would let him make the final decision.
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Id respond with well, i guess you’ll have to get over your problem with it or just not come and be there for your son…thats your choice not ours and leave it at that…I didnt invite my entire family to my wedding…I had my friends…they are more like family to me
It’s not your MIL’s decision. She can’t control who you choose to invite. If your MIL decides not come, that’s on her. You have to do what you’re comfortable doing
My mom did that sh*t to me, don’t invite her it’s your wedding! not theirs!
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Do what you want if his family are being childish! Go through with your wedding without them and if they don’t like it then oh well their lose! It’s your day! I hate dramatic women!
You dont need that drama. Get married and live your life with your husband and children. And if he has an issue with it, drop him as well 
Do what you want, maybe a Destination wedding (that you know they wouldn’t travel for), elope. Better think about moving away from the toxic family it will always be trouble.
I would let your fiancée decide, since it is his mom and sister and go with whatever he chooses.
Invite the SIL—she probably won’t come anyway. If she does you will be too busy with everything else to pay her any attention. If she does try to start something, have your husband show her out. Let your MIL know in advance what is going to happen if she does. Another option is to not submit to your MIL’s blackmail and don’t invite the SIL. Leave it up to the MIL as to whether she wants to come w/o the SIL. If she gets away with blackmail now she’ll try it every time any family gathering occurs.
The day is about you and him not his family and their drama. I would go about planning and not even worry about them.
Its an easy answer: you love your fiance-invite her because of that and leave the past behind. Do not try to become ‘friends’-but be nice
She is holding you hostage. Tell her you are sorry and she will be missed.
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This happened with my mother-in-laws brother. So I relented and he didn’t show up anyway.
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I’m trying to figure out why u fighting to be a part of this family…
In my opinion if MIL gets her way this time it will be this way the whole marriage,Dont give in, its your day > let them grow up and see what they missed
That’s manipulative and if you give into it, it will never end!
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I wouldn’t worry bout it either. Just continue your plans. If the sister and your fiancee speak to each other about what has happened then maybe they won’t. I am having the same issue with my step daughter where she is jealous of my youngest daughter and me cause we took my fiancee attention away so she says. I tell her in reality I have helped your dad raise you cause your mom didn’t. Which I know I didn’t have to but I did. My oldest daughter she is perfectly fine having a little sister even with the age difference which is 15 years. So don’t sweat it
your wedding…not your MIL’s wedding. tell her she can do whatever she choses–but YOU chose who comes to the wedding. no ifs, no ands, no buts
Ask your fiancé what he wants. If he says yes I want mom there then if u are willing to take the sisters crap without retaliation then invite her.
Thats called emotional blackmail, and its NOT FAIR. You have witnessed problems in the past, whats going to prevent future problems? IF (big if) you do decide to invite them, make arrangements to have backup to remove her if there are problems. If you choose not to 9nvite her then we all understand why. It is your wedding, you should be able to invite, or exclude anybody you want to.
It’s between you and your husband to be. Invite whom ever your both are in agreement with and if someone doesn’t want to come because of it then they don’t come. They don’t care about you to begin with.
Inviting this person to your wedding is risking having your beautiful day ruin. Those who don’t come were Never meant to be there. Blessings to to you and your future husband.
It’s your fiancée and Your wedding, there’s always some drama in the family but not at your wedding, invite her, not to be in the wedding just to come, you’ve done your part. She probably won’t come anyway…but it she does and causes a scene have someone u trust to escort her out!
If she is trying to control you into inviting someone who is out of your life to your wedding, that is on her. Not you or him. I agreed with Shawn Hall Smith !!
It’s you and so’s day. Tell her her seat will be there if she changes her mind, you will miss her.
Tell her ok. If she wished hot
Miss her son’s wedding that is entirely up to her. But you hoped she would be there for her son. Don’t let any one
Push you into inviting trouble.
Friend of mine invited everyone that the mother in law wanted… she even invited/paid law enforcement to come aswell… you would be surprised how people will act when they see an officer present lol of course he wasn’t in plain view but they knew he was there lol
I’d seriously elope! If they want to act childish over your day then screw them all. Make it just a special moment between just the two of you. Shouldn’t have to pretend to please anyone no matter who it is.
In the intrist of peace if possible maybe a JOP wedding for some of family with just cake in the interest of cost and then your big wedding with who u want
If she can mess up your wedding , she can mess up your marriage. Do not let it happen. You do not want his sister to ruin your marriage , don’t start now !
Sit down and talk with your fiancee privately. See what he wants and what kind of difference it makes to him if his parents are there. It may be a situation where he’s not close to them, doesn’t want the drama and is fine with them not being there. Your future mother in law has no business trying to dictate who is at a wedding that’s not hers. That’s beyond childish and selfish. In my eyes she doesn’t even deserve to be there.
I wouldn’t marry him. It will always be a fuss and lies. If you don’t do everything they want it will always be your fault. I know, we even moved to another state as not to see them often. That was 40 yrs ago. Even not seeing them often. You have a telephone they call you on , then another won’t speak, been like that a couple years. We have no idea what’s that’s about. I had to block one on Facebook for all her rude comments on anything I shared or posted. Which didn’t concern her at all. I honestly believe some people can be happy unless they start or try to start trouble. I told my husband that some of his family should have came with a warning. Now he does also have a couple family members who are great and I think the world of. So my advice is to really thin’ that wedding over.
Tell her straight out that if she chooses not to come that she will be missed and carry on without her.
Destination wedding. Go get married at some beautiful place without anyone. Problem solved. You have a beautiful wedding, can offend everyone at once, and let your day be between you and your husband.
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Have you sat down with your husband-to-be and had a “heart to heart” conversation and asked him what he wanted and how he will feel? If not, please do so. Both of you together need to be making this decision. But makes sure that if he really doesn’t care, that he tells his family that he doesn’t want them there and why,
Tell your mil you wil miss her but if that is her decision then so be it. It’s blackmail and sil would find a way to disrupt your day. Be strong.
Invite the soon to be sister in-law, just have an officer in uniform present also. You can always have her or anyone else escorted out at anytime.lol
It’s your wedding invite who you want and don’t let your mother-in-law badger you into anything.Its not her wedding,if she choses not to,so be it.
Don’t do it. You only have control over yourself and if she is that disruptive at family gatherings just think what she would do at your wedding. MIL can stay home with the bratty sister. That’s their problem not yours. Just because you are related doesnt mean it’s an open door for all.
It’s Yours and His wedding… y’all ain’t marrying them… toxic is toxic plain & simple. ENJOY your wedding without having to worry about childish crud
Agreed. Your wedding your choice. Yiur mother in-law has no say in the invitation list. Do you and your fiancé and move on. Weddings are not the place fir drama so if you have to leave the drama queen out then do so.
Invite- all, if fiancé wants- If you don’t expect a scene in ceremony… then Ask a devoted friend to keep tabs and escort the sister out if anything starts awry. We had a friend act as a bouncer- not on family, but ready for some wedding crushers. It was good peace of mind to know someone would handle it.
I have found that Messy People never like to be called on their Mess. You are Adults. Invite Whom You will to YOUR Wedding. If Your Mother in law is issuing ultimatums, not coming would be on Her.
Do what is best for the both of you…if it means walking away from all the drama, having an more intimate wedding with just close family and friend or eloping do what is going to make both of you happy…you MIL had her wedding, your soon to be sister in law had hers…your not out to please anyone but yourselves.
Stay safe, be happy
If you let the mother-in-law decide who gets invited to YOUR wedding, she will meddle in YOUR marriage all the time. Slam your foot down now!
Ummmm you cut them outta your life they aren’t invited and if the mom wants to be like that cut her out to
Tell the in laws you’ll save a place for them if they change their mind but you’re not inviting his sister. Plain and simple.