Your husband seeing his child is more important than your MIL seeing her grandchild. If your kid doesn’t get much time with dad during the week, then dad needs the time with HIS kid on the weekends. Your MIL will just have to get over it. As far how often she comes to your house, it’s YOUR house and you get the say so on who is there and when. My MIL is great and loves to see my son but she also knows how important it is for my husband and myself to get time with our son on the weekends when my husband is here and awake. Night shift during the week doesn’t give him much time with our son so weekends we love to all be together, the 3 of us. We see our in-laws as much as we can but we can’t always see them every week and they understand that. I get she wants to see her grandchild, but he also has other relatives that want to see him too.
I went to my grandmas every weekend growing up, sometimes every other. They are my most treasured memories to this day Maybe a compromise? One-two weekends a month. Goodluck
Grandparents are important part of a child’s life as much as the parents are… Once a month doesn’t sound bad and that weekend could be your date night with your husband. Stopping in once or twice a week isn’t bad either as long as it not more then a few hours. My grandkids live in another state so I’m lucky to spend a couple weeks twice a year to enjoy them. Glad that my daughter and her man can share videos with me so I get to see them growing up.
The baby is too young, to be gong for the week end. That’s it.
I’ll take the MIL!! she’s welcome to weekend visits with my kids. Lol
I think this is awesome she wants to have him, u’ll appreciate it more in years to come and sadly her years on this Earth are limited. Maybe you CLD compromise and once a month he go on a Friday night then u and hubby go for dinner Saturday and bring ur son back. As for during the week, I don’t see any harm in her coming and hanging out 1-2 days to spend time with him, that allows u to still be around him and also gives u opportunities to get stuff done or nip out if needed, have some you time. Before long he’ll be in school and so she won’t be coming during week. I think you should view it as a blessing she wants to be involved, find things you have in common. My in-laws live a hour away on a farm and sometimes I don’t approve of things they do but my kids have always been happy and healthy soon return. Nobody will raise ur child the exact way u want but if they love ur child and only want what’s best for them then that’s so awesome for ur child to be able have that time and memories with their grandparent.
Let her. Only one weekend out of a month??? That could be you and your husband time. Some battles are worth the war, but this doesn’t sound like it. My son is 23 now and his gran has passed on, however, he has the greatest memories of her. Start the memories sis and enjoy YOUR opportunity to be grownups instead of parents for one weekend a month. That’s a blessing in disguise.
Be honest and set boundaries and your man needs to have better communication with his mother to defuse the situation. Try and come to an agreement that works for everyone .and if she doesn’t respect you then let her know she has to respect that your the child’s mother. Now if that lady financially helps a lot and always takes care of the child when it’s convenient for you .then you should really try and work something out she deserves it.
Just say no. If you don’t want to, don’t do it. That’s your child. She has no right to your child. Let her spend time with him and use it as an opportunity for a break, but do it on time that works for everyone, but most importantly you and your husband.
No. I don’t understand why grandparents feel entitled to their grandchildren in such a manner. I didn’t have children to let someone else take care of them for me. Tell her no, that’s not an option. And then set days when you’re fine with her coming to see him. Plain and simple, put your foot down. I’m not arguing with anyone about my own children, no one is above me or their father. End of story.
One thing is never letting her see her grandchildren and another is setting healthy boundaries. Not everyone is desperate to pawn their children off on someone else every chance they get and I think that’s a great attribute to have as a parent.
I would let her, but not every weekend, I would suggest every other weekend or one weekend a month. And compromise the rest of the week if you’re busy, but if she’s able and willing to make the journey then awesome for her. Wish my babies even had grandparents. Only one still alive for my babies is my mom and she’s in a home and has dementia.
She wants to keep him every weekend of the month? Just tell her she can have 1 weekend a month. Don’t engage her in an argument. Say “we’re so happy you want to keep him, what one weekend this month works for you? I’ll check with the hubby and I’ll get back with you” when she pushes…repeat the same thing…I’ve tried this tactic with my own mom. They are pushing their boundaries too. If she gets upset then repeat it again. She has two choices pick a weekend or don’t see him. Your son your rules.
I like the idea of one weekend a month. That sounds like a good amount. Enjoy the adult time. I lot of people don’t get such a chance.
I don’t like the idea of him being away so much as such a young age. Babies need their moms.
I’d be more concerned as to why she feels such an excessive need to have him all the time. It’s not her child. It’s not a second coming of her son and it’s not an opportunity to raise a child again.
I think its great she wants that time. So many grandparents have less than a caring attitude.
I would personally love to have active grandparents only if mine were still young and active. I think one weekend once month won’t hurt. As for her popping in once or twice a week, you could use the time when she is at your house to run errands etc while your son is bonding with his grandmother. Just be happy unless there is tension between you two.
Be happy. My children have no grandma’s left on either side of the family’s! N I have absolutely no family myself. My kids just have me.
Maybe compromise? Tell her instead of coming over during the week, and taking your baby on the weekends maybe she could take him over night during the week instead? So it wont cut in to family time and she wont be over at your house all the time AND you can catch a break!
She needs to grow up. Some people no matter their age are just brats if things don’t go the way they want them too…truth. Good luck. Be fair. Stand ya ground. Love. It’s all you can do.
Don’t deny your child family and as a grandma your baby is a treasure to her also💯grandmas are important.if there is no safety or harmful issues please do it❤️
My son Loves spending time with his Grand parents. I would do the you can come over her once a week and may take him once a month at most. I am not one that likes having my kids spend the night away from me But my son see his grandparents at least once a week if that is what they want.
It won’t be long and you will want the grandparents to have your child as much as possible but just remember that when they say no, how will you feel? It works both ways. They are not doing it to be nasty, they are asking because they care and quite often, to give you, the mother a break There will come a time when you will be grateful when they do. When you’ve never known your grandparents, you cannot understand what you have missed out on. Trust her by allowing her time to bond.
Let her come visit during week. U go shopping store visit friends while she spend time in ur home or area with child. Nothing wrong with her visiting during week. But weekend is dad only time that is dad time. As father he need step up n tell her that it way it will b and that final. But as momma take that mom away during visit do it
I wish my mother in law was like that. My grandma passed when I was 13, my mom passed 4 years ago so the only grandparent my youngest has is my mother in law. But my mother in law refuses to ever call an ask about my youngest, never calls an asks to see her or anything like that. If me an my husband have to go somewhere where we can’t bring the baby (meetings) then it’s almost a hour long begging process to have her watch her for even a hour. She acts like she just don’t want nothing to do with her. But when it comes to my oldest then she would father all the stars in the galaxy for her. I’m honestly about to the point of cutting her out of my life all together. I refuse to put up with favoritism and it pisses me off the way she acts towards my youngest. So if I were you, I’d take the in law love. Once she starts school she will be busy throughout the week an y’all will need daddy, mommy an kiddo time on the weekends when he is off. So if she wants to come throughout the week, I’d definitely let her. Be thankful she wants to see her. And maybe if it’s just to much then when she is over there you an her can just sit an talk about boundaries. He can’t hang up the phone then.
Honestly I don’t see the problem I’m a mother in law and a grandma you should be proud that she wants to spend time with her grandson some don’t
My son spends every Saturday night at grandma’s house. My grandpa passed a few years ago I would give anything to have one more weekend with him. I get the family time also though. My husband works none stop so family time is extremely important when he’s home but a night alone once in a while is also extremely important for a marriage.
My boys see their grandparents every week… they see my parents every day!! I couldn’t imagine taking that away from either of them (my boys or their grandparents/great grandparents). Although my boys don’t stay the night places… I think my 11 year old has been apart from me a handful of times over night and my 20 month has never been away for the night
I would maybe say ok to every other weekend , every weekend seems like a lot , I’m like you the weekends are really the only time we all get to be together at one time , I wouldn’t wanna give that up every weekend
The other family members live closer, so I’m sure they do get to see him more. She feels left out. So compromise. Let her take him friday evening and bring him back Sunday morning once a month. Ask her to limit off weeks to 1 visit a week, so it doesn’t conflict with family plans.
Awwwwww that’s such a blessing. Hope you can find some compromise. Anyone that gives love to your baby should be welcome too. Plus, then you and hubby can have some alone time!
If its once a month I’d allow her that time with your child/ her grandbaby then you can have some couple time with your partner with him working away … you’ll get very little of that with a small child …sadly alot of grandparents where there son his the father feel often pushed out with the mother favouring her side of them family …
Be thankful she asked. My MIL never asked. I say let your son go for the weekend once a month, or at least every other month.
Just keep saying no. If she starts an argument just hang up. You don’t owe her anything. That is your baby. And I would never send my kids an hour away every weekend. That is ridiculous in my opinion.
Do not let her cut in on your family time. It’s disrespectful that she should even ask if she knows that’s her son’s only real time.
… If my MIL wanted to take my kids for a weekend, let her. Spend time with your hubby, alone. There’s nothing wrong with this, to be honest. Then again, I have a really good relationship with my MIL. I dunno. Alone time is nice sometimes.
Tell her to pick 1 or 2 weekends, but not every weekend
If she is a good lady and loves her grandson, I dont see the problem? Yes you need to set a schedule but as a mother of 2, who dont have relationships with grandparents I know what you and your child miss without it!
Wow…that’s awesome that she wants your son one weekend a month, my ex mother in law refused to even baby sit for a dinner date. Let her have that precious time with him…
I would compromise. 1 or 2 weekends a month is reasonable.
Once a month. When parents work during weekdays weekends become family days x
You can just say no or do it every other week. Honestly, whatever feels comfortable to you.
It’s interesting to hear from the folks on here who have no grandparents for their children. Their take is vastly different that those who have grandparents in their children’s lives and choose to not involve them. My guess is they either didn’t have close relationships with their grandparents or they have an incessant need to be in control of their children’s lives to the extent of suffocating them.
I would say… depends on how old grandma is lol
If shes capable of taking care of a 15 mo old… maybe. But not every weekend. Maybe like every other friday or saturday?
I understand ur concern, however u should be grateful she wants to be apart of ur childs life. Her coming over, I would limit to once a week if it bothers u shes over to much. Maybe shes lonely? Be kind.
If your gut is that you don’t want that, then it’s ok to set that boundary. It’s healthy. Especially if it’s something with a tantrum. I wouldn’t feel bad about saying no.
Ummm who’s gave birth to the child YOU DID!! Honey, your the mother not your mother in law. You make the decisions.
You have to do whats best for you. But I also see that Life is too short, begore you know Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, either die, or move or Dont come around because they havr their own lives, its not about you. Babies grow too fast today. Give yourself time to spend togethrr with your MIL or your Friends. Separation is good for both of you or babies become clingy and have problems when School time comes around.
I totally hear you on this and validate your concern. It seems that you are not being considered, and that sucks. Not all MILs are the same, and it also sucks to be told what to do and when.
My suggestion is to create a schedule that works for everyone, do not compromise your need to have control over your schedule, and then use any free time for self care.
Sorry no, I have a family no and you aren’t it. You married her Son, not her.
Get it all in writing and make sure she’s not planning to sue you for grandparents rights. No is a complete sentence. #notherbaby
Um no but tell her she will be thought of first if you need a break my sons grandma wanted this too problem lshe lived with a unstable alcoholic who beat her i only let her take him once his dad how ever did give him to her when it was his turn for a visit.
Let her take him for a night once a month you need family tim as he is so young he needs family time too
Try it once maybe one Saturday night a month. I would love if my parents wanted to have my kids overnight not every weekend but at least once in while .
I wish I had this issue. My kids have no grandparents.
In this situation I cannot stress enough SET BOUNDARIES!!! And get your significant other to back you up in it so you don’t feel alone in making the decision!!!
Ultimately it is a family decision, but you’re seeking advice, mine is, if family is wanting time with your children, SOAK IT UP!!! I only recently got married and my family all live over 1,000 miles away… life is short… compromise with her best of luck sweetie!!
I don’t see what the issue is you say she wants the child once a month for a sleep over and wants to visit why is that an issue , as long as she is showing your kid love why be mean , kids need all the love and attention they can get from every person around them . Especially grandparents they play an important role in kids lives … It sounds like you just want to be mean for the sake of it - your the mother and call the shots in regards to what happens with the baby address that but don’t fight her for wanting time with her blood either that’s just wrong and mean .I wish my mil would request for my son now and then , some are lucky .
I do not see the issue feel lucky he has a grandma that wants to be that involved. Mine was my favorite person if my mom ever kept me away from her I would of hated her for that
My parents stole my son all the time, theyd roll up at 6pm on a fri, and take him coz if they asked I’d say no, but as a single mum I needed a break so theyd just turn up lol! Worked well for us all.
Ask her to take him two days during the week. That would help you when your husband is away. Tell her weekends are family time, but maybe one weekend a month would give you and your husband a chance to keep your marriage strong with romantic nights.
Sounds like an unnecessary battle you are choosing to fight. I understand saying no to a whole weekend away from him but if you have family that loves your child enough to take an hour drive there AND back to spend time with him, LET THEM. You’ll be wondering why nobody comes around if you continue to push them away.
Your son. Not hers.
One weekend a month? Sure.
Book yourself a massage or spa day or go to a bookstore or catch up w a friend or go do something you enjoy. You deserve it.
We never get this so I would let her it’s only 1 weekend a month
Girl, consider yourself and your son lucky. My son is 8 and plays the piano really well, karate blue belt, point shooting guard in basketball, baseball player and maintain straight A’s. My mom doesn’t want to come to any of his events and support him and it makes me angry. The fact the your mom wants to be involved is awesome. Consider it a blessing.
Set up days she can comeover, whether she takes him a day during the week or whenever and write it down on a calendar for her . Know it won’t be enough for her. You can let her know this is all you can do, you value her, she has a major role in his life, and you can’t meet what she’s asking. End of convo.
While he’s still young have her sit with him the nights that she comes over during the week while you run errands, go shopping, etc. Then once he’s a little older (2 - 2 1/2 years) I would trial a weekend and see how it goes. And this will also give you and your husband some well-needed alone time too. With 4 kids, my husband and I have learned to take full advantage of the time that our kids can go with their grandparents…and everyone benefits from it!
No way he is to young she could be the best but your little one doesn’t know she smells different from mom.
If you aren’t comfortable with it that’s fine.
Tell her the rules, and if she throws a fit you block her or put her in time out.
This isn’t her child. She can accept what she gets or she can get punished for acting like a 3 year old
I think that’s fantastic!.
Your son spending time with his grand parents is a great thing…you also get some me time etc
My MIL gets my 5 month old every weekend and we love it.
Although it may seem frustrating right now I just wanted to share some food for thought…my children have 5 uncles, 4 aunts, 3 grandmas and 2 grandpas. All immediate blood family to myself and their father. Only 1 set of grandparents make any effort to see or speak to my kids and they happen to both be disabled but still try. Please be grateful your child has family that wants them in their lives. My kids are great kids and do everything I can for them but it hurts them to the core. Unless there is some kind of harm or a bad situation involved then you should give your mother in law the bonding time. Kids need family that loves them.
You are mad cause she wants a relationship with her grandchild. Ugh grow up.
It’s best for the kids to spend time with people who love them .
You should consider yourself very very blessed!!!
Have a family weekend. Have a you weekend. Let ur husband have a him weekend and let MIL have a weekend.
Umm 15 mths old I would say no too. Wait until he is older.
Some day you’ll love it trust me, hopefully the novelty doesn’t wear off for her.
Someone is going out of their way to love your kid. Let them
Its your baby did she give her babys away every week probly not!
Must be nice to have grandparents involved
Thanks for the badge
Take it ! Take it! Hahaha you will regret this later
Living a hour away is no excuse. I love 3 hrs away. I make time too see him. There is always week days
Yes. Its annoying. Stand your ground!
I completely understand and don’t see an issue with your concerns. You must do what you think is best. I see others stating that you should be happy that you are having this issue, you should be happy that she wants to be in his life or let her have him as much as she wants. I Absolutely agree that these relationships are very important and something that we should all treasure. I truly do believe this and I truly respect their opinions but that all it is… Their opinions. It is shaped by their thoughts, their life experiences and their situations. Again… theirs not yours. In the end, it is a decision to be made by you and your significant other. All you can do is Respectfully explain your wishes to her, however you cannot control her reactions to your request. It is for her to listen and respectfully acknowledge your concerns and wishes. Whether she agrees with them or not. That’s called respect from one Parent to another. Wishing you peace of mind and All the very best to you!!!
To the mother in law whose doing this ,needs to stop and let the young people be the parents they are suppose to be,you are only creating havoc in their family life. Stop your Shit Grandma.
Tell her your son isn’t a timeshare. She doesn’t get to demand custody time and then get mad when she’s told no. There’s also no reason for her to come over 1-2 times a week, that’s way too much, especially for someone who’s being an ass. Hell I don’t even see people I like that often. And if she doesn’t agree with the times you are letting her see your son, then cut it down to zero and see how she likes that.
I don’t even associate with my in-laws and they don’t see my son. They live 25 minutes away and have never made any attempts to come see my child, we were taking him over there once a week but they acted like they didn’t care that he was there and like they didn’t want us there. For instance one night we were there and I had just gotten my son to sleep on the couch and my mother in-law plops don on the couch and purposely wakes my son up. My in-laws have absolutely no respect at all they don’t respect me, my husband or my son. But yet they always want to be up in our business. My in laws don’t contact my husband for weeks at a time and then they want to act like it’s his fault, they sometimes work during the day if they decide to get off their lazy asses and actually go to work and my husband works nights so she sleeps during the day and they make it seem like he’s the one not reaching out to them but that works both ways the don’t talk to him for weeks and then they text or call with the most shity attitude but they wanna know all our business.
At 15 months there is no way in hell I would give my babies up for a night let alone a weekend.
Be happy you have an involved family member
Unbelievable selfish and controlling people on this thread.
Hannah, try this and Me and Ginny Tuten are coming after you!!! #GrandmaLivesMatter !!!
I’m listening to these comments and am appalled. My son and his wife give us free rerign with our grandchildren and the kiddos love it.
Grandparents are short lived in the big picture. My son went to his grandparents every weekend from 16 MO forward…they have a beautiful relationship to this day. His other grandparents were absent so that made that easy. If they were in the picture, then they indeed need to be involved. But, a selfish parent will keep their children from the grandparents and in the long run, you deprive them of something you can’t give them… The love and devotion a grandparent gives. How selfish to think, “he’s/she’s my child”… Growp up. The best thing about love is there is plenty to go around.
Wow… you are super ungrateful. I feel bad for your husband and son.
My MIL lives with a registered sex offender whose charges are for having sex with a minor when he was freaking 40 and she wonders why I won’t allow my kids to stay with her…and him…in a camper nah yo. Same woman begged her husband to stay after she found out he was molesting HER OWN GIRLS. Nope.