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"My husband and I just bought our first home together and we really want to host Easter dinner…the issue is…my mother in law thinks she has to control every single holiday and I have always kept the peace…but now that we are in our own space i would love to host…she just told me that if i did she wouldnt come and would make a huge deal of it, still host at her house AND MY HUSBAND WOULD BE GOING TO HER HOUSE AND NOT STAY WITH Me…YES she really said that…I dont know how to get him to see her controlling way.s…he wants to jusst do it at her house so he doesnt make her mad…hes disregarding all of my feelings…waht do i do?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Claim next year now. Or claim a different upcoming holiday"
"I’d say that’s fine if you’d like to host Easter but the next holiday get together I’d like to host and try to compromise"
"Do yours the day before or something."
"You could do another one a different night or put your foot down. It’s hard to break family traditions for some people but okay to make new ones too. Could you maybe alternate years hosting? Or even alternate hosting holidays? Congrats on the new home!"
"Let her do Easter. She might need to get used to the idea of sharing. Maybe ask her can the two of you host together the next holiday at your house."
"I agree with others do it another day. This might be something she likes to do and enjoy it now because one day she’ll be gone and y’all will wish you had those moments again!"
"Do 2 easters… one with your family and the friends you all have together as a couple at your home on the day before or the day after and then allow your mil to do her Easter and allow your husband to go to her house ."
"Do it a different night"
"Pick and choose your battles. Someday she won’t be able to host…maybe wait till then and keep the peace. Instead of hosting Easter host a house warming party and out do her on the hosting!"
"Does it HAVE to be Easter? How long has she been hosting Easter? I compromised with my mom; she does Easter and 4th of July and I do Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m sure your husband just wants to “keep the peace”."
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