Say she went on vacation and you are not sure when she is returning. You did the right thing.
I WOULD HAVE HER( YOUR MOM EXPLAIN IT TO HIM!!) TELL YOUR SON TO ASK YOUR MOM!! Be on a 3way line so your mom can’t lie! YOUR MOM doesn’t UNDERSTAND WHO she IS REALLY hurting YOUR SON NOT YOU OR HERSELF!! GOOD LUCK!
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Be honest that adults go through heavy emotions sometimes and life can be difficult for them. Kids can understand feeling sad and being upset. Just explain she needs some time to work through things on her own and that your son is loved and supported always.
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Tell the truth or regret it later on they know more than you think. Xxx
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I was truthful with my daughter who is much younger with her aunt. I put it very simple Auntie is sick but it’s a different kind of sick where she has to chose to get better and until she does you can’t go and see her because it’s not safe for you to be there we’re almost my exact words
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Tell him the truth I have raised my nephew and niece since they were born and I never ever lied to them about anything and the one time they thought I lied to them they were really mad and told me u always tell use the truth why did u lie to us and I told them I didn’t lie to them and I never would and they are 9 and 8
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You can stick with the sickness. There are so many types of sickness. I told my daughter that her dad is sick and that’s why he isn’t around for her right now. (She’s 6 and he’s been gone for a year now). She at first thought he had Covid but now I think she understands it’s a different kind of sick.
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Too young to understand details of the truth. I would say she is sick, like the above mentioned, because she is.
Give her time, then call her and ask if she is over it?
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Tell him the truth. I am a recovering alcoholic and I left for a detox facility for 5 days and taught me nothing. One month later I left for 30 days and was taught everything. I was taught to be honest with the children. They know everything. Two years later and we are still rocking it. Good luck momma!!!
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I was that age when I learned of my mothers addiction. It was something I didn’t quite understand. My father told me she was struggling to be happy and we needed to give her the space she wants to be happy. Honestly I appreciate that fact that he said it like that instead of flat out telling me she is a drug addict and chose that first for a long time. I kind of understood she wasn’t happy so that made the most sense to me at the time as to why we couldn’t see her for a long time. This is a very hard situation to be in. Do what you believe is right but don’t spare your child’s innocence. Not saying you have just by for example by flat out saying grandma tried to kill her self that why we can’t see her because she is mad at mommy that I saved her life. That’s to heavy for a child.
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Just tell him grandma is not feeling well and needs to be alone for awhile. Late you can explain the difference in this sickness. That she’s got an addiction and possibly depression. Be honest. Honestly is seriously the key to life. And if she really is addicted. It’s better he know and learn about addiction sooner than later so he can be aware and know to avoid certain things
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Kids are smart. I guarantee he knows or has seen more than you do. Ask him and be honest about it. It’s easier to explain the situation for a seven year old why she is still here than for him to blame himself because he knew something and didn’t tell you.
She is sick and make sure she’s well before you send yours to her She may try it again and succeed and that your child wit her
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What you said is perfect. Mental health and addiction is a sickness. Just in a different form. Keep it up and explain age appropriately.
My exhusband ended up an addict, I told my son just that. Daddy is sick and not listening his doctors and until he did, it wasn’t the best place for him to be. I answered direct questions but never gave more info than what was age appropriate or asked for.
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She is sick. Addiction is like any other disease. Until your Mom gets help don’t allow your son to be around her.
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I tell my 6 year old the truth, she understands when someone she loves is sick. I explain to her that people can have a sickness in their mind that makes it hard for them to be happy and that we don’t see them because they’re trying to get better. Especially with covid and kids hearing so much about it I would distinguish this as something not physical, I think it’s important for them to learn that anyway 
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Addiction is kind of like being sick. Just tell him some illnesses last longer than others. However, children are smarter than we let on. If I were you, I would be entirely honest with your child. Tell him that grandma is battling something called addiction. It’s kind of like a chronic illness, and until she gets better, it’s safest that the family stay away from her.
Absolutely DO NOT tell him. I am a family therapist and he’s just too young to comprend these adult things. My son was 5 when my Mom took her life and we didn’t tell him until he was 16 how she died. Your first duty is to give him the best childhood you possibly can. My Mom lived with us and she pushed him down and called him a f-ing brat on Christmas Eve. We left and she took her life while we were gone. He blamed himself however we made sure he understood she really loved him and shared only good memories with him. Tell her the only way she can see him is if she and you go to family therapy. You have my Prayers and thoughts.
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Help your Mom out if she is in a bad place. Taking away her grandkids will send her deeper. Just be sure to be there. And leave if she is fucked up on pills.
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We told my daughter my feeling were hurt and my emotions were broke and she was young so she understood that, but in all fairness I was in the nut ward so that was basically true. When my boys father over dosed and died and they were the same age as my daughter was back when I had problems it was all up in my face and I was honest with them about it because it became reality so honestly its about how real it is and where YOU are at with that as far as how you explain it to your child! Good luck addiction sucks so matter where you are at with it! I’m an addict in recovery and lost the love of my life to addiction so I know the hell you are going thru from all sides! Sending you love in your 
, peace for your mind & serenity for your soul 
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Explain to him that she is sick. But, a different kind of sick. And it may be awhile before they will see each other again.
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Keep telling him that. She’s still sick. Because until she sorts herself out she shouldn’t be anywhere near your son.
As a side note: idk why everyone is saying addiction is an illness. Your post mentioned attempted suicide not addiction?
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It sounds like she needs help but won’t easily accept it, can someone help her into a rehab and tell her it’s this or your family has to stay away… if she doesn’t accept the help there’s not a whole lot you can do and unfortunately that is just something some of us have to live with. You can walk a cow to water but not make them drink it… if her intentions were to kill herself I don’t believe much is going to change her mind.
Be straight nana is sick and needs time to get better
Maybe ring every day this will help your mother as well
Not sure I would leave your boy there but that’s up to you have rules to keep him and your mum safe
It’s not a fake excuse. She is sick and shouldn’t be around him. So that excuse can last for as long as it needs.
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Tell him that you’ve gotta show grandma some tough love & He is gonna have to be patient and pray for her during this time. I mean no need to elaborate to a 7 year old
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I’d be honest. At 7 he may not fully understand but you being open with him and having communication with him will help. Tell him you love him more than anything and it hurts you to keep him away but you can’t take a chance at nana hurting him or herself while he’s there.
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A child doesn’t belong in adult situations. Keep telling him she’s sick until she is no longer doing what she’s doing. You’re not lying to him because she is sick…
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Be truthful and say nanny is toxic ,stop sugar coating people of addiction its there choice to take the drugs x
He should know the truth!!!
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Honesty is your best answer! She is not able to care for him and for now she needs time! Depression is not only hard on the person but also the family! I have gone this road a lot in my life lately and I think that he needs to know that mental illness and depression are real so he can realize that it’s okay to struggle but with family everything can get better! Healing is not just on the outside and doesn’t take days or weeks it can take years just to find a right medication!
Honesty. Better your child learn to grieve now, than to grow up and feel like you lied to him. Your job as a parent isn’t to protect him from every bad thing, it’s to teach him how to handle the realities of life. How to grieve, how to cope, how to be empathetic, how to see the humanity in others- even when they make decisions that don’t make sense. I know it’s hard, and it’s admirable that you want to know how to talk to your child about the situation.
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Your mom should know better. You’re her child and you thought she was going to die. She can’t comprehend the fear or why you did what you did, she’s clearly never been scared enough or in that position before. Is this overdose or addiction? There’s some conflicting replies. All I suggest telling the laddo is that nanny is sick, we have to wait to see if she gets well enough to see her. He’s little, use isolating as an excuse if it helps for now. In the meantime I’d be ringing her blowing her phone up, it’s not just you she’s punishing for saving her life, it’s your sons too!!
As a person that came from a mother like this is to keep him away 100% from her at all times from all contact . Do not call her do not stop over do not text NOTHING . Let her completely go .
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Be honest. She made bad choices, he can’t be around that right now. Not safe.
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My daughter was 7 when I had to remove a neighbor from her life. They were very close and I ended it because of a drug problem and erratic behavior. I told her the truth and I don’t regret it. It also allowed me to have a conversation with her about drugs and alcohol abuse. I don’t feel I was burdening her with adult problems either, sometimes honesty can help them fully understand the whole picture,and how to deal with it in the future.
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Tell him the truth that he can understand ,that she is sick right now and needs some alone time but that doesn’t mean that she stopped loving him but she needs time to get better .hope she is getting the help she needs
At 7 they are old enough to understand a little. Always be truthful in an age appropriate manner. It’s not a lie to tell him your mom is sick. It’s not a lie to let him know she’s working on herself. It’s not a lie to let him know you need your space from her. I’d say something along the lines of, “i know it’s hard to understand and it’s hard for mommy to explain. Nonna is sick right now and her mind isn’t in a happy place. Mommy needs space from Nonna to focus on you. When Nonna and mommy are ready we will spend time with Nonna again!”
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I would look into therapy for you and your son. You both are going to have a lot of feelings about what has happened. The therapist can help you navigate that discussion.
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I told my kids my dad was sick, I knew the last time any of us saw him would be the last time we saw him alive. They would ask about him and we’d share stories of the fun times we had with him whenever they missed him. After he passed and still to this day we talk about the fun times with grandpa. My kids are older now and have unfortunately seen a lot of death in their lives, they know my dad had a problem and they are thankful I didn’t even try to explain it when they were young
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Tell him the truth. He will learn about it later anyway. So why try to hide it.
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Let things calm down a bit before you have the talk, it will come too you what to say & how to handle it, sorry you are going thru this, I truly understand
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My sons father is a heroin addict. He is not allowed to see his father when he is actively using. I tell my son that daddy has a problem with making bad/unsafe choices. I explain that the parents job is to keep the children safe. I explain that daddy cant keep himself safe right now, so I have to be the one to keep my son safe. I also tell him that I used to make the same bad choices as his dad, but I changed my life 12 years ago. (Our son is almost 8). I dont lie to him, but i also do not tell him the exact bad and unsafe choices dad makes. But i will when he is old enough to understand better.
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Talk to your child’s pediatrician they will be helpful in helping figure out the age appropriate thing to say to your son.
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I would be honest about the addiction. That for now she’s not a safe place and sometimes relationships change and that in no way is his fault and that she still loves him. Kids are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. It’s better to be honest and work through the emotions than to lie because it’s important how addictions impact family and friends and the earlier your child understands that the less likely they are to put themselves in the same situation as adults.
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The truth. If you don’t tell him the truth, how can you expect him to be truthful with you? Age appropriate answers, only.
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Your daughters your daughter for your entire life your sons just a son till he makes a different choice
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I would give it about a week, see if changes are made between you and your mom, if not and it is permanent then just be honest in a child friendly way he can understand, as years goes on and he gets bigger & more mature and asks about it you can be direct with him on exactly what happened for you to keep them apart and make sure he knows it was in his best interest.
Truth will be the best.
I’m so sorry your going thru this. It’s really tough. X
Be truthful!! Even if it’s age appropriate TRUTH. Just don’t lie. Kids aren’t dumb. They see/hear things. As sad as it is he should know that how she is isn’t ok or safe to be around and until she does what it takes to get well then they can’t visit.
As he is only 7 he doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of what is wrong so that he is not burdened with worry or thoughts of what is wrong. Her being ill and saying you will see her again when she is better is enough. Also as she is mentally ill don’t take what she is saying to you to heart because she won’t be thinking straight. Thank Goodness you were there to save her x
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Similar situation here. I told my son that until grandma made better decisions then we had to give her space. Here we are years later and while he used to adore her, he now is very indifferent because she STILL doesn’t take care of herself nor make good decisions.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother is in a bad place, how do I help my son understand that?
As a social worker, my heart goes out to you. Explain it to him as though she has an illness (which she does) that she needs help with but only she can get the help. He’s going to want to help her but you need to help him understand he can’t. As someone whose family member was suffering from a Xanax addiction, I actually had to stop the relationship in order for my own mental health to be spared. Make sure you take care of you and your son. Whatever you do, don’t let him be exposed to it willingly. Just calmly get up and leave without a word being spoken.
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Nonna IS sick. She is in fact too sick to have your son around. As a responsible parent you have to keep him away from her. You might not be able to help your mother, but you can help your son by not exposing him to an environment that is dangerous to him.
Sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately there is no middle way. I hope you can find comfort in being able to make good and healthy decisions for you and your child.
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I’ve been here and I’m sorry you are too… from experience you are smart to keep him home for now and just try to explain as best you can… the one time I allowed my kids to go back unsupervised when my mother was not doing well she decided to OD in front of the children who called me in a panic. Theres alot less trauma just keeping him away until she is ok again than having them witness something scary like that
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You need to set him down and tell him the truth. Although he is only 7, he needs to know there is a mental health issue. He needs to know its not his fault. I pray your mother finds the help she needs.
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Ummmm she is sick. N I believe she will continue to be sick until she seeks counseling for her issues-why did she do it?
Give her a little time…. Your son won’t understand what that even means. It will all be ok. This is the time that she needs everyone’s support and not to be left alone. Best of luck to all of you
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You have to stop the cycle. And part of that is your children never knowing about that lifestyle or choices. At that age I’d just say she’s sick and you don’t know when she will ever get better. I wouldn’t try to give him hope, that will do more damage than good. Be gentle but direct. And sadly the more time passes the more he will get used to it. Sadly sometimes it’s better for everyone to just not have them be a part of your life at all.
It is not safe to leave your son with her, I agree with telling him she is sick, as stated above!
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She has a disease that needs time to heal…dis-ease is a very difficult illness…only time and stuff love together can heal…best wishes coming your way!
I think this is an instance when while trying to protect your son you also protect yourself. Good idea to check and see if she is on an SSRI. If she is or is on wellbutrin good idea to try to get her anti-depressant changed. Both are associated with suicide.
Protect your child that’s what’s important what ever it takes.
As awful as this might sound, you shouldn’t have your child around an addict and your mother needs help you can’t give her.
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Either tell him she is sick or on a long vacation or moved
You tell him the truth. That she is sick and she can’t take care of him. Nothing fancy, it’s not his worry to bear. Answer his questions in a simple manner. He already knows something isn’t right.
Seek counseling maybe they can help
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Make her explain it to him
You have to make this decision for him. He doesnt understand and probably wont understand anytime soon. As long as she is stuck in the blame game she will poison his mind, if you let him be around her. That is an unhealthy relationship.
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Kids are very resilient, so do not be hard on yourself! You know what’s best and as long as you’re calm, stable and communicating with him at an age appropriate level he will be totally fine, I promise. I can guarantee that you are taking this harder than he will. You’ve got this and you know what’s best.
I would explain that she is ill and no one knows if she can get better.
I’ve been there. You simply explain to your son that grandma is sick and that right now, until she decides to get help to get better, it’s not healthy for you or your son to be around as much for awhile. My kids accepted this and it made sense to them. I should also add, mine are a little older so I did explain to them that with this kind of illness scary things can happen that I did not want them to see or have to worry about.
Just tell him the truth, sit and explain it to him
Explain to him she is sick and needs medical help and until she gets help for her problem it isn’t safe for him to be there. Also tell him until she is better you and he can pray for her healing.
Gently tell him the truth. Gramas sick.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother is in a bad place, how do I help my son understand that?
My mom did the same thing. Not on Xanax but she took everything out of the medicine cabinet and ate it. 2 days prior she tried shooting herself and hanging herself. I called 911 and I had her committed. I couldn’t trust her mental state. I was 18 and committed her.
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You have nothing to apologize for. You’re doing the right things. Saying that Gram is sick is very true. But he can write cheerful lite notes, or photos, and mail them to her to keep some line open. This may be a time to work on building a few other relationships for him. Anyone in the neighborhood to play date with? Church or temple? No need for an abrupt stop of fun for him. Your reaction to your mother’s bad decisions will color his future. I’m glad you are putting his mental health first. She needs to get her priorities in order! Invest your time with him now.
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It’s simple. She is sick- you and your children cannot be around her. He is too young to understand the details, and that’s being honest. If he wants to call her, I’d let him, but that’s it.
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That isn’t an excuse. That’s the truth. She is sick. Children don’t understand anything beyond that. Besides don’t expose him to these kinds of things too soon. If he asks just explain until she gets better he can’t see her. If he asks why she’s sick… you can tell him it’s not like a cold but she has a sickness that sometimes can take longer to heal and she needs her rest and when he gets older you can explain it in detail but not right now.
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Stick with the she is sick narrative and maybe use it to have a discussion about mental health and illness and how not all sicknesses look like colds or viruses. Explain that not all mental illness means a person is “crazy” and that sometimes it’s quiet and hard to see but there is help out there for mental illness, and that his nonna needs to get better. I know you and her are probably not in the best place right now, but maybe try and workout a FaceTime/call schedule that allows you to quietly supervise their conversations but still let’s him talk to/see her when you’re comfortable.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this, not only because of your son but also because that’s your mother and I’m sure you’re suffering too.
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Everyone is saying about mental illness I didn’t see that anywhere unless I missed it. She overdosed. Kids are doing drugs younger and younger. My son lost his dad to and overdose 6 years ago. My son was 6 I told him his dad went to heaven to be with god. And when he was 7 he asked questions about his dad and when I talked to my sons counselor he advised me to be honest , cause if someone let it slip and he found out I lied to him it would break the trust between us. If it is mental illness u need to explain that also my mother was bipolar 2 with paranoid schizophrenia and I always told my son his nana is special and that she is your nana and she loves u to the moon and back he would spend weekends and if he was on vaca from school and summer he would spend extra days with her. Sadly she passed 1 year ago and my son took it hard. My mom never tried to end her life. Growing up in her home I felt my son was safe and I did multiple calls to him a day and if he needed me he would call. It taught him compassion for other people and that we all deserved to be treated with respect. I have always done the honest road with him. We are living in a crazy wacked world. Kids are having sex and doing drugs at a young age and if we dont inform our children on how to be safe , who will. Good luck and I hope your mom gets the help she needs
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I went through something similar with my son and his birth mom. I would explain it in some form of “Just like any other part of the body can get sick, her brain is sick and sometimes it can take some time for it to get better.”
Remind him it’s your job to keep him safe, and that he didn’t do anything wrong.
He may not fully understand now, but will understand enough and when he looks back he will be able to fully understand and appreciate your choices.
Thankfully she’s in a much better place mentally and is able to be active in his life again. I’m hoping the same outcome for you.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, keep your chin up, you have people here to vent to❤️
You know what. You don’t tell him anything that’s going on. Just let him know that she is going on vacation for a while. And also let your mother know that until she cleans herself up and gets her shit together then she is not going to be apart of your life. Believe me, you don’t want your child growing up seeing her like that. It’s not fair to him. Adults make choices kids can’t. If she chooses to live that kind of life then don’t be apart of it.
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It’s hard but at the end up the day you I have to protect your son first and pray your mother takes the time to get well in the mean time…
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You’re doing the right thing. She IS sick… She may thank you soon, but if things settle, supervised visits of course because she still won’t be feeling well. Tell him when he’s old enough to comprehend.
I’m so sorry.
I don’t have any advice but I just wanna send a hug to you. I can imagine this is far from easy on you 
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It’s best to have a good talk with your son and explain that his grandma needs help …you might be surprised how much he could understand… I have a situation similar and my grandson isn’t allowed around my son…because of bad choices…his Dad my other son is strict about that. I can understand it …but 
that all is better for both of our families…
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Say she is in quarantine amd we are good write her letter amd send them to her.
Tell him he is not safe with or around her bc she is sick. But it is not his fault at all and if he is sad let him feel his feelings. I had a similar situation on my family. It’s heartbreaking to see your babies sad and you can’t do anything to fix it. But I firmly will not let said family member back around my kid. Breaking his heart once was it. That will not happen again.
Maybe something about mental health like she’s making bad choices right now and we can’t see her until she makes better choices and is healthy.
Seriously. Your choices are: include her and scar your child for life….or take a break from your child seeing her. It’s not rocket science….if it quacks like a duck, it ain’t no dog!
It’s simple she is sick ,
He is not old enough to be told it’s drugs - he can live his whole life not knowing that - it accomplishes nothing to dump that on a child .
People get sick .
My mom used to OD alot and would get mad when we called an ambulance. Happened countless times. I am sorry you’re going through this and I hope she pulls through and is able to be a part of your lives again. I was able to have my mom back for a short period before she passed away, and I cherish it.
Unfortunately, similar to you, I’m having to keep my children away from a family member they love and miss and cry for alot. My oldest is 8, and I’m quite honest now. Before I always just said she was making bad choices and it wasn’t safe for us to be around her. That was the closest to the truth I could go without having to explain drugs. Now they have an idea of what drugs are and that she is making bad choices still. It sucks and brings on questions you are probably going to be uncomfortable to answer. I always asked them to not mention these things to her because it could make her feel bad. They still get to talk on the phone.
It sounds a lot like your mother has narcissistic tendencies. Amirite? In this case, make NO excuses whatsoever for her bad behavior to your son or anyone else for that matter. Just states the facts as they are and don’t sugarcoat anything.
I would say she’s sick and needs help from the doctors for a while. I’m sorry you are going through this.
Or explain to him that grandma is really sad and angry right now or “mentally and emotionally sick” and you can explain that to him however you like. You dont have to tell him the fucked up details like she tried to kill herself but hes not too young to learn that some people go through stuff that some other people dont and they need to cope in their own way.
She is sick. And it’s going to take her a long time to heal. Just because you can’t see someone is sick doesn’t mean they are not sick on the inside. Just let him know it’s going to be a long Time before she is better but she still love Him.