I would say something before she fails. That would be terrible for her. This old world is tough. You want her to have a fighting chance at success.
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Your mother seems depressed. Get her help first.
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Itâs 2021 all schools just about use infinite campus where it shows real time grades and assignments. Show your mom and show her the report card. If she still doesnât want to do anything to help then get the school involved. Also if sheâs failing maybe an online highschool may be another option that could work.
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Why should she have to help? School is the teens responsibility. Your mom just has to worry about feeding her, clothing her and making sure she has a way to school and back. The grades are the teens responsibility.
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Who ever wrote this when ever you figure this out lmk. I have three siblings that my mother n law just gave up just clueless! If you find an answer lmk!
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If youâre sister could take it upon herself to talk to a counselor. Sheâs obviously having some trouble. Your mom sounds like she needs therapy too but none of these things youâre able to enforce. Worst case scenario you have well checks done on them both. But most of all try to be an unbiased ear for your sibling. That support will mean the most.
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This is a sucky situation all around. Especially right now with all the COVID stuff going on, distance learning and lockdowns⌠I went through this last year with my oldest two daughters. They were seniors and on the verge of not graduating. Not because I was a lazy parent, but because I was working full time and had 4 kids (7, 12, 17 and 17) all distance learning. Everyone was depressed and we couldnât work out a schedule that worked for everyone. These kids and parents and teachers are all still trying to find their way back from all of that.
Iâm assuming that youâre an adult child, trying to help your younger sibling. While you have limited rights and limited access to your younger sibling at school, the schools are a bit more lenient with everything that has been going on. The first question, does your sister want your help? If she doesnât, youâre fighting a losing battle. If she does want your help and sheâs just so far behind and doesnât know what to do, help her. Try setting up a meeting with her schools guidance office. Explain to them the situation at home. If you make contact with the school, the school should make contact with mom. Mom seems like she is depressed and may need to work out some issues of her own. But to focus on your sister at this point, you have to get the school and mom in contact. There are all kinds of support programs for kids with school right now. But again, your sister has to want the help. Good luck!!
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I completely understand this. Can she maybe come to your place after school to complete homework? Also maybe a tutor would be helpful. Also I would sit down and have a long conversation with your sister and then your mom. If what she says is true The simple solution to that is going to bed earlier.
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These teens nowadays are really different! Ask school for help, they have specialist for everything. Does your mom not get alerts from teachers? Parent view? Why does she think sheâs getting Aâs exactly what is she looking at to think that?
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They BOTH sound depressed. Itâs so good of you to try to help. I agree with the others here who suggested talking to the school counselor. They might have resources for low cost psychological help for both.
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If youâre old enough and in a position to, let sister move in with you??
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So if you wont help her and her mom wont help then i guess she fked hey
Honestly this is the time to really be there for her. I had a similar situation and if it wasnât for my sister having my back I prolly wouldnât have graduated high school. Educate her to the fullest. She needs to know that her mom should be doing more and your sister really needs to chose education. Itâs a little harder to get a decent job w.o high school diploma. And if sheâs miserable with your mom use that as a motivator. She needs to do good in school and she can go to any collage ⌠even one a little further.
Idk good luck I hope it works out for you.
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Iâm a single mom of 7 kids (2 are grown and moved out), plus I have guardianship of 2 other children. Itâs a lot to keep up on. Maybe your mom is not lazy, but just overwhelmed. Try to help your sibling out as much as possible (if youâre up for the challenge), but she has to want to do well for herself
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Not your battle, just went through this, itâs not worth it, youâll lose more than you think!
Just encourage her to talk to someone if sheâs feeling alone and be a support system when she needs you!
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Maybe you could help? Help her with her homework and motivate her? Ask about what she is interested in as a career and such and help her to see that good grades are important? I had to do it with a niece that had neglectful parents and she is now an AB student instead of failing. Take an interest in your sibling! You arent much better than your mom if ignoring her. Say if she gets good grades will take her to the mall and such or to a movie she wants to see. Do more with her and try to listen and understand what is going on in her life. Be her best friend.
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Let her fail. When she realizes she will have to redo every class and the entire semester over, she will either buckle down and fix it, or she will continue down that road. Your job is to influence her towards the right direction, but it isnât your fault if she chooses not to. Choices have consequences. However, your responsibility ends there because you canât force her to do anything. It isnât your job to babysit your own sibling or force her to do the right thing. If your mom is clueless and your sister is taking complete advantage, thatâs on your mom and her parenting. Not you. Your sister is fully aware of the choices she is making. She can be held accountable at the end of the semester when she fails, and all her other classmates move on and sheâs stuck alone without her friends and classmates. Sheâs getting what she earned, and unfortunately for her, thatâs how the real world works. If she pulls this crap at a job, her boss will hold her accountable, and ultimately fire her. Trust me. She definitely would rather learn this lesson now, at this age, as opposed to later on in life and career. She is responsible for her choices. Mom is responsible for the discipline and remaining engaged. If sheâs not doing either, talk to her. If she refuses to listen and/or do anything, let her choose her consequences too. This isnât your cross to carry.
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If your sister is telling you itâs a sleep problem, believe her. She needs medical attention not someone deciding that she is not motivated.
She could he clinically depressed, her body could be fighting something, etc. But whatever it is- you dont need to send her the message as a young woman that when she tells someone whats wrong (sleep) that they decide otherwise. (Motivation)
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See if her teachers offer tutoring after school or if there is a tutoring lab available. Also tell your Mother to wake up, she has minor children to finish raising. Is there a father or aunt who could step up.
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Maybe talk to the school counselor to see if they have any help they can arrange for your sister
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Ask to speak to ur sisters guidance counselor. Explain it just how u just did. I think he or she may help with out getting others involved.
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You need outside help! Is there a guidance counselor at her school. Maybe you could talk to her and ask for advice. You need support too!
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Talk to your sister and tell her to get her rest so she can be ready to do her school work. And be there to help her if you can. She will never forget you being there for her. But also let her know itâs her place to get her schoolwork done. You are just going to help her some.
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Find out what intrinsically motivates your sister and fan the flames of that⌠itâll have far better effects than any externally applied efforts to motivate. I hope this helps⌠Best wishes!
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Iâm not sure of your age/circumstances, but a friend of mine was able to get custody of his younger brother. He was 37 and his brother 12. Not saying that youâre there, but itâs always an option. He actually gets paid by the state as he is now the âfoster parent.â
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Weâre you âmotheredâ by your mom. If so, ask her why sheâs changed.
If she didnât why did you end up so responsible?
Talk to your sister. Let her know your concerns. Be sure she understands the need for an education.
Your sister may really have a serious condition like Sleep Apnea and needs to be seen by a doctor.
Have a sit down with your mom. Tell her your concerns and have her take your sis to a doctor.
Gl
Your mom may be suffering but needs adult support. Do what you can but donât loose yourself. There is a bigger picture you may not understand yet. Try tell/show your sister what happens when no money. Help her to find her motivation.
Maybe your sis canât verbalize her feelings, some positive outlet sport/art could refocus her.
Make appt. W school counselor for yourself to go talk with .
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Every school gives parents access to their childâs grades, etc. Have your Mom sign up and have her check daily. You have to speak up or your sister will face the harsh consequences.
You are harming your sister by neglecting to confront the situation. Your sister is able to sst a bedtime and alarm to get up. You need to tell your mother or get the help of another adultâŚher father maybe? Go talk to her teacher. If you donât step up your sister will continue to struggle as an adultâŚhelp her now while you still can
Your mom might be depressed. Work with her. Work along with her. Donât criticize. That never encourages someone to try. Say something like , hey mom , how about you and I work together and make a bed, or how about I help you with the laundry do you can start dinner. It also helps to get things done faster. Anyway adapt the procedure to your sister.
It takes a village to raise a child, do your path, help your little sister out
You can speak to the school counselor about your concerns and the as adults/mandatory reports can get youâll help
Help her, be her mom a little.
Teachers need to contact parents and lay it on the line
Have her checked medically, could be depression
Mind your own business you live longer
If it gets worse stand up to your mom, if not you mit have to get authorities involved
I couldnât tell if older sister lives with them. The sleep situation could be an emotional response to something. Depression and cause both insomnia and exhaustion. If mom is that clueless who knows what else sheâs missing. Perhaps speaking to a counselor along with a medical doctor might help.
School toder help her
Maybe a reward at the finish line?
Contact the teacher lay it out
Bless you for caring about your sister.
Recently I discovered sleep meditation videos.
My daughter is only nine, she struggled with getting to sleep. Then if she didnât get enough sleep school and really anything was difficult.
It took me some time to get her to try itâŚbut now she does it herself at bedtime. Itâs been a life saver!
The have so many to choose fromâŚ
I have used them myself recently when Iâm having trouble falling asleep.
Please encourage her to try it
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I stepped up asked my mom for temporary custody of my sister got her mental health situated helped her gain some weight, learn some coping mechanisms and I stepped down when she felt good enough to go home to our mom. We moved 18 hours away from our home and loved every minute of time we spent together but once she let me know sheâs ready to try again and see how things go I let her go because she deserves to see what it will be like without me. She just turned 17 and is happy my mother is doing better. You could judge your mother for her inconsistency or you could help her until sheâs good again. There is 5 years between my sister and myself I am a mother to three of my own children. Financially we were not prepared but as her big sister I will do whatever by any means to protect her and help her grow. I do have a very close relationship with my sister though so I know this isnât the same for everyone im also very close to my mom. Before i had temporary custody I was over at my momâs house every single day to ensure my sister was happy, healthy, eating etc. Itâs alot of responsibility to take on but they are worth it.
Sounds like I wrote this!
You cannot change your sister but you can continue to set a good example. As for your mama, she is too focused on her self. It could be a medical thing like depression and she may need meds. Or she could be as you say lazy and will need a wake up call with a report card of failing grades from your sisterâŚeither wayâŚencourage your sister to study and improve her grades but donât make excuses for her or do her work. You should be proud of your work ethicsâŚthis will take you far in your future. Btw⌠I would tell mama and let her blow upâŚmay be exactly what your sister needs. God bless you.
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