My neighbors hopped my fence to play in my back yard....advice?

So we just moved into this new house on the 1st right? And yesterday my daughter told me she met some kids across the fence on friday and she had asked if they could come over. (She asked them, not me) they said not that day maybe another day. Today she asked if the kids could come over and I said well theyre not even outside and we dont know them, ive never met their parents so i dont think its a good idea… a couple hours later I go to check what theyre doing(its completely chainlinked fenced in so i let them go alone, and the 3 neighbor kids and the mom were just in my bckyard… when i stepped out on the deck and said hello the mom told me she put the kids over the fence then jumped it herself… Just let themselves into my back yard… I dont know how to feel about it… i have 0 problems with the kids playing but it would have been nice to have met the mom and the kids first, and NOT just have them let themselves over our fence into our yard…

36 Likes

For me I would be extremely bothered. As a parent myself I would never let my kids go to someone’s house without me meeting the family first nor would I allow my kids and myself to hop a fence and play in the backyard of anyone’s house regardless if we know them or not. This sends a big red flag in my opinion and I would keep an eye on those other kids and their mom. If they can so easily hop a fence and start playing with your kid without your knowledge or even meeting you then what other things will they do??
If I were you I would set boundaries now instead of later.

10 Likes

I would give them the benefit of doubt. Your daughter could have invited them. I would set boundaries with the mom politely, then act accordingly.

18 Likes

If your kids were out there I wouldn’t think it was a big deal. If no one was out there and they came over years that would be strange.

8 Likes

Nope wouldn’t except this behavior at all that’s intriguing on your private space you better have a talk before they just show up for breakfast :fried_egg: :grin:

2 Likes

Tell her, not to jump the fence and come to front door, if her or her kids get hurt she can sue you since they have permission. Tell her no jumping the fence. How rude of her.

I’d assume your kid invited them over and they just went with it.

14 Likes

The entitlement of this woman is scary. Do not leave your kids in your back yard alone. She’s shown you you can’t trust her. Tell her that in the future she needs to ask you before entering your yard & not go jump the fence. My babies were taken from my house by a neighbor like this. She started with questionable behavior like this. This mom is testing you. Don’t let her alone with your kids.

4 Likes

Damn how low is your fence? :joy:

Tell your daughter to stop inviting them over

Tell the mom not to do that again and come to the door for verification that its ok. Problem solved.

2 Likes

Trespassing and it’camera. A hell no. And if anything happens to them on your property that could be an issue as well. I would def two them to stop or I an going to call the police.

And make sure you document it all and maybe even get security canera.

6 Likes

I don’t know any adult that would feel comfortable doing this without introducing themself to the parents first. With the world we live in today, absolutely not okay to come into your yard and approach your child without your consent or knowledge. I would talk to the parent and try and get a feel for where her head was at. But I would also make it clear that you don’t play about your child’s safety and set boundaries for your household, that includes your yard. Sadly, you cannot be too trusting when it comes to your kids. Not everyone has good intentions.

16 Likes

I would be less upset if it were just the kids. It’s weird the mom jumped over. When we first moved in here the little boy next door jumped over here to play and I just told him he needed to ask before doing it again. He asked after that

9 Likes

Just politely tell the mom you would rather no one jump the fence and to just come knock on the door if they wanna play

10 Likes

Even if your daughter invited them… what mother hops a fence into someone else’s backyard? I would feel like I was violating my neighbors privacy. She should have walked over and talked to you. Then to ask to have you put the kids back over the fence? This is weird. I wouldn’t like it and I probably would go over and talk to her.

1 Like

You lost me at “a couple hours later i go to check what they are doing” , you mean they were alone for a while? I would be grateful that mom and her kids were there and nothing bad happened.

1 Like

Nope I would speak.up…what adult thinks it’s okay to just go with what a kid says

6 Likes

Your kids probably invited them and because she has invited them a few times the mom assumed it was fine. She probably didn’t want her kids in a strangers yard so she jumped over the femce

5 Likes

I don’t think they should be climbing over your fence I

4 Likes

She’s a brave woman. This day and time someone could have shot her for doing that. I’d be scared to death to do that with my grandkids.
But yeah is should have come to your front door and introduced herself and her kids first and asked if it was okay for them to play.

I’d just let em know that next time they want to play in the yard they have to ask you first.

2 Likes

The mom should have known better than to take an invitation from a child, assuming that’s what happened. However, I must also appreciate that she too was in your yard and didn’t just send her kids over and dissappear.

1 Like

Atleast the mom stayed with the kids :woman_shrugging:t2:

3 Likes

I could see kids randomly jumping a fence but a mom also and randomly with your kid outside in your yard and not even knocking on your door or asking for you or anything just randomly in your yard with your kid I find that very odd :rofl:
That’s so weird
I would definitely set boundaries with that mom and ask them if they want the kids to play together to knock or text you call you something so you can make sure you can be out there because you would hate for someone to get hurt or whatever etc etc
Or you could say something like
If y’all want to come over knock on the door I would hate for one of you to get hurt on that fence

1 Like

Well kids invite people all the time. My child would always invite the kiddos over to the house and if the parent happened to be with them they would come because just as you don’t know that person neither do they. I know people today are different but I would go introduce yourself and go from there I wouldn’t get all weird about it shit is different today.

That’s extremely strange for an adult to do that.

1 Like

Be nice! Set rules at a later time. Have her call you first.

1 Like

Odd for the mother to do it

1 Like

Just tell her to use the gate as jumping over it is dangerous and to let you know when they are coming over

She sounds like an interesting lady lol I agree that your kids probably invited them over but I’d offer the use of the gate for next time. She probably came over too so you wouldn’t think she just dumped her kids on you.

Put up a large wood fence

2 Likes

Nope I’d be speaking to the parents if they get hurt youd be responsible. What parent hops a fence it’s called going and knocking on the door.

9 Likes