My niece, who is 13, stolen some bracelets out of my 5yr olds jewelry box. Her mom and dad are not the best parents and didn’t really punish her. Before I knew she stole from me, I told her I’d order her a new phone case for her new phone. She hasn’t said sorry to me or my daughter or admit what she did. She texted me today asking if I ordered it. I have not! After taking to her mom telling her mom, I wasn’t ordering anything till she apologized. So she texted me sorry I’ll never do it again. I asked if she took them and she says no, but mom told me to apologize anyways!! I’m so mad!! She is only apologizing because she wants something from me. Her mom isn’t doing anything for punishment!! And I don’t know what I should do!! I want to move on… but feel like I’m just giving in to her teenage ways!!
Sit down with her and have a talk. She needs guidance
Don’t get her the phine case
Why do you need to watch a 13 year old?
Do NOT order it! You’ll just be enabling her actions. If her parents aren’t punishing her let that be a punishment!
You just don’t order it. She isn’t sorry. She won’t admit to her actions. She doesn’t deserve it.
Don’t order anything for her. She’s old enough to know better. If she can’t own up to it and apologize I wouldn’t have her over for a while. Tough love works wonders sometimes
Dont order it and distance yourself from all 3 for awhile.
Are you positive she took them and your 5 yr old didnt just lose them? I wouldnt play a blame.game unless you saw her with them. I also wouldnt be ordering her anything till the bracelets are found.
Tell your sister/brother to look for your daughters bracelets if you’re100% your daughter didbt play with them and lose them.
How do you know she stole them? Did you see her with them? Do you have video of her taking them?
Are you sure she took them?
order it and give it to your daughter
Disturbing! Not going to work when shes an adult.
put down your phone have a face to face conversation with her about what she has done and why it has hurt you ask her why she took them if she took them and explain that saying sorry just because you want something is not the best way to go about things
How do you know she stole from you? Did you see her?
Do you have proof she stole them?
Nope. Absolutely not. The money for the phone case you were going to order is being used to replace the brackets. Actions have consequences.
Say to her you can’t afford the phone case now because you need to try to replace the jewelry and the only way you will buy the phone case is if the jewellery magically turns up
She needs guidence set her down and tell her what she did was very wrong and let her know that you know she took it and tell her little girls who like doesn’t give gifts and be done with her little thieving ass
Are you sure she took them and it’s not that your daughter lost them? If so then nope, don’t reward bad behavior with good stuff. Make her work it off by doing stuff like sweeping, mopping, cleaning toilets. But always always supervised because she’s gonna steal again.
Don’t order it for her if you think she did it. However, do you have concrete evidence that she did it, or are you just assuming?
She deserves nothing of you. Cant enable a thief
So where are the bracelets now? Have they been returned? Are you 100% positive she took them?
But with THAT attitude I wouldn’t give her even the shirt off my back, let alone order her something unless SHE was paying for it. Heck I hardly do that for my own kids
Almost the same thing happened to my Mom years back with one of my cousins. She wouldn’t admit it to her Mom and mayve because she thought she would be in really baf trouble or maybe because she didn’t want to let her Mom down. It was a ring of my Mom’s a sentimental ring, and my Mom went and picked her up and took her to get something to eat abd they had a good talk and she did end up admitting it to my Mom. However my Mom told her she wouldn’t mention the fact that she told her the truth and turns out she was just a little girl who thought the ring was beautiful and wanted one for herself. So maybe if you can have a heart to hear talk with her and let her know how you feel about her stealing it and so on she’ll admit it and hopefully never do something like that again.
I wouldn’t give her anything until the missing items are found
Are you sure your daughter didn’t lose them or misplace them and blame the 13 year old? Or do yall know for sure the 13 year old took them?
You will never be wrong, when you are standing up for the right thing to do. Stand your ground, don’t order the phone case, you won’t be helping the girl if you do,
Never reward a thief
Cut that ungrateful brat out of your life, even if she’s your niece.
Poor kid, show her guidance.
Don’t order it as long as your positive she did take it
Do not buy the case! She has to know from someone that bad behavior won’t be rewarded.
If she stole something from you and or your child go take that new phone away from her until she gives back the items and then still don’t order the case or order one for yourself problem solved but then again I’m ruthless like that
Some of these comments are pretty harsh for a 13 year old kid. Do you even have proof she took them? Find out facts first .
Tell her sorry no phone case, you needed the money to replace the things She stole from you… 
Are you sure she stoled them
All of you are asking her if she is sure that “her daughter didn’t misplace them”. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be asking for advice if she thought that was the case. Not only that, are y’all not paying attention to the attitude and entitlement of her 13 year old niece? That alone speaks for itself.
I wouldn’t buy her anything other than essentials she might need for when and if she comes over. Other than that she doesn’t deserve a dang thing till she learns not to steal from people. Maybe even set up a way she can earn this phone case instead of just handing it to her.
let her know when the items are returned you will talk about ordering it
File a police report. Actions have consequences!!
Sooo don’t buy the phone case
Not “knowing” what or why you’re apologizing for is a cop out. She’s 13, she’s old enough to know wrong from right.
I damn sure wouldnt be buying that little girl anything! Shes old enough to know what’s right from wrong! If she was mine she wouldnt have a butt to sit on and she damn sure wouldnt be able to use those hands. Her bedroom would look like a jail.
How do you know she took the bracelets?
Lessons need to be taught
Actions have consequences I’d tell her until she can be truthful AND SINCERE she gets nothing. Otherwise it’s rewarding bad behavior.
5 year olds are notorious for fiddling and messing around. Unless you have solid proof it was your niece then give her the benefit of the doubt this time.
If she she really took them. Be cautious. You deserve to be angry and disappointed. Talk to the Mom. Give them your thoughts. Be open and if they fight back and bitter. They don’t deserve you. 🤷
Pihhh sounds like a spoiled lil brat. Don’t get her anything!
Don’t buy her anything even if she admits to the thievery. She needs to be punished and learn from this. Punish her now before she turns into a kleptomaniac calling you for bail money.
My former step daughter stole my Kindle Fire and never admitted to it. Even lied about something so terrible, that it ruined my relationship with my 10 year old cousin at the time. I still despise her for it.
Don’t give in to buying the little shit shit… Its like rewarding bad behavior. Fuck all that. I literally cannot believe that you’re even asking this shit!
If your 100% sure she took them just tell her your not buying the phone case and if she doesnt return them she wont be allowed over anymore. She needs to learn that stealing isnt ok no matter what it is.
CALL THE COPS. She needs consequences.
I had a similar thing happen to me. I just refused to have them visit my home until they could get their act right. And even after they promised to do right, they were only allowed within my eyesight or my restroom.
How do you know she actually took them?
Don’t buy anything for her
Don’t give her anything! Good character & behavior reaps rewards! The opposite reaps consequences and lack of trust.
Look into it to make sure for 100% certain that your niece took it. Then show the parents the proof and tell them if they don’t take care of their daughter taking stuff then she isn’t aloud to stay at your home anymore. She’ll have to sit in the living room when she shows up and isn’t aloud anywhere else. An that you’re not ordering her a phone case because she stole and that if she can’t admit she done it,apologize and give them back she isn’t getting anything again. My brother stole from my parents for awhile and he had to be searched all the time before coming in or going out the door and he got his bedroom checked weekly if not daily.
Bracelets returned and a full apology and no case. She needs to realize that family is important, you don’t take from anyone, let alone those that love you, or do for you. Her mother should be addressing this appropriately, because there is a possibility of her continuing to bigger things later in life if not reprimanded. Could be a hard road later for her and her mother. Side note: I feel bad for your baby… trying to understand why someone she looks up to, took her stuff.
What a brat dont get her nothing . Now a days 13 year olds think they can get away with anything thats how my sisters are
I would really search ur home … I’ve literally had stuff come up missing for months and I swore I searched everywhere for it to end up reappearing months later. Ur daughter is at a age where she may have taken it to school or even gave it to a friend n don’t want to get in trouble. But if ur set in the fact she took it then don’t buy her anything
So we had a neice in our family that used to steal from my sister in law. It was usually money that just laying around, because they didn’t have to worry about stealing before. They last straw was when they had their mortgage money in an envelope and she stole the whole envelope. She was older I think closer to 17 at the time and her and her siblings ran with a bad crowd. The parents weren’t much better and we assumed most of them had drug problems, but we could never prove it. They only came around for holidays like Christmas because they wanted gifts. After the last incident with the mortgage money came missing they weren’t allowed over anymore so then they had to change up how they did Christmas. A few years ago the girl that did the stealing died because she overdosed on pills. It was so sad because we tried to talk to the parents and they didn’t think that she had any problems.
I would talk to her and tell her how wrong it is.
Dont buy it. Simple.
Dont buy her anything, no birthday, Christmas NOTHING till she admits what she did and apologizes.
Why are you buying her stuff. Her parents can and if shes of age she can go get a job. Stop enabling her
Be the one person in her life who holds her accountable for her actions. Shell thank you later in life
Ne lui donné pas l’étui .se serait lui dire que c’est bien voler
I wouldn’t be ordering anything for her 
Don’t order anything for her until she admits she took the things and really apologizes.
How do you know she took them? 5 year olds lose stuff all the time, I’m an adult and I misplace stuff
If her parents arent talking to her about this, I would. I would tell her that I love her, but she broke my trust and really hurt me and her cousin. I would then tell her directly that I am not going to buy her a case at this time, because I don’t want to do extra things for her when she isn’t showing me that she values our relationship. Do this by phone or in person, not text.
Just say sorry I can’t buy you anything till you are honest with me. Leave at that.
How can you be sure she did take them?
Personally I wouldn’t get her the case guardless if she apologized or not!
I do not reward thieves even if they apologized. Also she’d be lucky to be allowed back in my house and if she did she would be supervised at all times. You want act like a criminal you get treated like one.
I mean … are you one hundred percent sure she took them?
Tell her the money you were going to use on phone case went to replace the missing items. If she wants it tell her she can come help you with some chores and earn it. You will then buy it on payday.
No phone case. And don’t let her back in your house. She will only get worse.
The apology should come with the bracelets being returned. I would ban her from my house for a specific amount of time too.
How do you know she took them ? What proof of it do you have ? Are you just assuming it because you can’t find them? Did you actually see her do it or with them afterwards. I mean even after she was told to apologize she stuck to her story that she did not take them and is apologizing because she was told to do so. Doesn’t really sound to me as if she took them I think you need to look into where the bracelets went a little more. How about instead of immediately pointing fingers at the 13 year old you have a conversation with the five year old. Little kids lose stuff and lie all the time. It’s part of growing up and learning.
My niece is 14 and I’d never turn my back on her no matter what. I’d definitely never accuse her of being a thief without 
proof or wrong doing.
How do you know she stole from you?
Dont get her anything then. She has parent who can buy her something. She stole from you…apology or not, I wouldn’t get her anything for a while. Be that person who holds her accountable for her actions. It sucks, but it’s so very necessary
If I was in your situation I wouldn’t order anything for her and I wouldn’t let her back at my house either. Liar and a theif are 2 things I cannot stand! And I ain’t gonna have a theif at my house
Don’t buy her anything
Don’t order anything for her. Dont bother talking to mom or her. Leave them alone.
How do you know it was her. She said she didnt do it…
Treat them all like kids until they show otherwise
Time to call cops tough love
I would not buy the phone case. I know that. And from my experience with family that steals, it don’t stop until you take action! I had my nieces and nephews stealing young and grown. The grown kids don’t stop it just gets worse. they started stealing tools clothes you name it. It got so bad I have literally stopped everybody from coming to my house. My daughter had a friend a few years ago. Her friend and her sister was coming over to play. They started stealing toys, allowance money, my husband’s money, they tried to steal phones and tablets! I finally told my daughter listen baby they are not your true friends if they are stealing like this! They can’t come back. Now nobody comes over and nothing gets took. It’s wonderful. Ya when your nephew you let stay with you rent free and they eat dinner with you and everything and they are stealing, air compressors, tools, pills ECT, it’s time to say goodbye. Now you can’t steal if you can’t be around.
How do you know she took them ? What proof of it do you have ? Are you just assuming it because you can’t find them? Did you actually see her do it or with them afterwards. I mean even after she was told to apologize she stuck to her story that she did not take them and is apologizing because she was told to do so. Doesn’t really sound to me as if she took them I think you need to look into where the bracelets went a little more. How about instead of immediately pointing fingers at the 13 year old you have a conversation with the five year old. Little kids lose stuff and lie all the time. It’s part of growing up and learning.
My niece is 14 and I’d never turn my back on her no matter what. I’d definitely never accuse her of being a thief without proof or wrong doing.
I had a daughter who went thru a phase like that too. We punished her of course and had long talks with her. She was doing it mainly for attention. I can tell you from experience, banning a child from your home isn’t productive. Her aunt did that to her and refused to buy her birthday gifts way after the incident and now they have a horrible relationship because instead of giving support she cut her out of the family. I’m not saying their isn’t a line that has to be drawn at some point, however, clear consequences along with support can help even when we want to be bitter . Also, I stress, not to accuse her unless you are sure , because I fell into a pattern of accusing her right away when something was missing and it turned out I jumped the gun on that and it only created hostility .
Don’t buy her the phone case since you’ve already convicted her in your mind and heart.
What makes you so sure she actually did take it?
How organized can a 5 year old be to not have misplaced it herself? Or given it away to friends?
Honestly, jewelry for a 5 year old … what are we talking about, elastic and some beads?
You do nothing. Not your place to cast judgement on what’s appropriate for her punishment. Her mom probably believes her like you would your kid 
And it’s a forced apology tells me she didn’t actually take them. But she’s already guilty in your mind.
Prepare that apology for when you find that “missing” jewelry…
Plain and simple don’t give her anything until she can show you as her tia that she can admit to you that she stole from you and give you back the Items or work off the amount even though she is 13 she needs to know if you want something you have to work for it doing Choirs around the house getting good grades on the report card you may not be her mother but you should try to be a good role modal for her teaching her what her to be a good member of Societie I wish you all the luck and hope that you can find the right answer that works for you
Mom of 5 daughters here. You’ve gotten some good advice already here. There MUST be consequences! Even if they don’t come from her own mother sadly she will be learning that from law enforcement soon enough if she continues down this path. Speak with her in person. No phone case. And if she will steal from her own family how can you trust her in your home. Ask her this. Be point blank. If she has no good role models this is where you step in and must be one.
You’re family. This is where the phrase “it takes a village” comes into play. If her parents won’t hold her accountable, sit her down and explain that you WERE going to order her the case but you don’t reward negative behavior or thievery. Discuss it with her. I have no shame in momming my kids, your kids, my kids’ friends, etc.
I wouldn’t order her anything, I had the same issue with one of my kids. They stole from my mom and myself and she was told that we were gonna call the police and they could deal with her…it didnt matter how little or small the items may have been it was the concept behind it.She begged and pleaded for me not to call the police. I told her she ever stole another thing I was gonna call the police and they could deal with her. And I made her replace what she stole with her own money and apologize to her grandmother and she did willingly. She knew she had done wrong.
Dont buy her the phone case. That’s rewarding bad behavior and she won’t ever learn… she needs to know that certain actions have consequences.
Don’t buy her the phone case or anything else. Until she returns them and admits what she did. She wouldn’t be welcome in my home.