My partner gets mad when I ask him when he is going to divorce his wife: Advice?

He wasn’t divorced when you started dating him…if it didn’t matter then, why does it matter now? Just saying.

If he hasn’t produced “evidence” as you say, most likely he has not yet filed for the divorce.

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Ok I’m not defending him at all but I’m going through this same shit with my ex. I have done everything on my end to get a divorce from him but he will not sign the papers and it makes it harder to serve him due to the fact he is homeless across the country from me so no one can find him unless he wants to be which he has already told many people he doesn’t want to so I am finally talking to a judge about what else I can do cause it’s been almost 10 years going through this shit with him. I gave up for awhile I will admit but I just started again trying for the divorce. Me and my fiance have been together 9 years and would like to finally get married but can’t until my ex will do what he needs to or I can do it without him. Talk to his ex maybe?

Sounds like he doesn’t want to divorce his wife. I would just move on nothing good is going to come out of dating a married man. I know you said they are seperated but at the end of the day he is still MARRIED.

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I left my now ex husband almost 5 years ago. I finally got my divorce this year in June 10 days short of what would of been 18 years legally married. My boyfriend was great never once pestered me with when u gonna get a divorce … why? Because in Virginia divorce costs a lot. My no contested divorce was $1100 I am raising 3 kids on my own I can’t afford it. The one time he asked years ago I said sure I’d do it u paying? Never mentioned it again. But we did celebrate my name change and my divorce. You know sometimes it’s hard to do the paper work. But clearly if it was a year in May so he left his wife 5 months before u met? Sound reboundy to me. Also u have been together 10 months girl please :roll_eyes: u already nagging about a divorce. It’s a piece of paper. Just like his unsigned divorce papers :joy: nothing changes besides his taxes and what ever else she demanded in the divorce. I bet u expect him to propose in 2 months too huh? U sound like a joy. B
How bout u just enjoy his company and work toward goals stay out his divorce u weren’t in the marriage so leave it be. Sometimes it’s sad when mine was finalized I called my ex and told him how it felt he felt the same but he said we always been better friends which is true. Some of y’all be toxic not everything is cheating or got some negative issue behind it. Seek counseling y’all need it bad.

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I’m super confused as to signing papers and paying the fee being the last thing that needs done and I’ve been divorced once and in the middle of filing a divorce without lawyers. Does he even have a lawyer? If he has a lawyer his lawyer should be the one to keep in contact. And it takes time for a divorce to go through. Much longer than a year. He’s either doing it or he’s not. If you’re worried about it, then I don’t believe you should be with him.

It took 6 years for my dad to divorce his ex, he finally got a judge to do it without her there

No. Absolutely not. Move on. He ain’t it.

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He wants his cake and eat it to ur his cake go girl go

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He’s playing you. If he really wanted to be divorced he would have no trouble answering your questions properly.

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u living togather if so have anything in ur name if not i wouldn’t be surprised years ago something going on or not divorced i was chatting spent tym with a guy and caught him actally holding hands with her in town playing day light

Leave him and spare yourself of their drama. Biggest waste of your time ever

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Don’t date a married man!

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Sounds like a rebound relationship. He’s not long got out of his relationship with his ex wife. I’m still married to my ex and been separated for 9yrs. Been with my partner 8yrs. He maybe still processing the split. Talk to him

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I think he is just not that into you. You can stay and take your chance or leave, but stop nagging. Nobody likes that.

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Leave obviously he is playing you

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You’re dating a married man that was only separated from his wife for two months prior to you two getting together… Do you think, maybe, he still loves his wife and throwing you in the mix is what’s stressful to him? Have more respect for yourself as a woman and leave that man to himself to figure out what he truly wants.

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I know this situation with others in my life. They want it done, they’ll get it done.

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As a divorced woman, even if you HATE the person your divorcing, it’s still a loss all around. Not to mention it’s expressive as hell in some states to even file. It cost me $250 just to fill out the paperwork. And I don’t even wanna talk about what it did to my wallet after it was all said and done.

Also, when I started dating the man I’m with now, I was still married, and not once did he ever nag me to get my divorce rolling. And we’re talking about a man who has been begging me to marry him for years (after the divorce was final), but still not once did he push me to get my divorce started. I made that decision, because obviously it’s my damn decision and not anyone else’s lol it 's NOT that serious, but if it is for you then you need leave the situation altogether. Probably be doing him a favor anyway.

You are having an affair with a married man. I am a paralegal. I’ve been one for 35 years. He goes to the courthouse, gets the papers, fills them out, has them served by a process server, and the divorce begins. You are a side piece. The solution is simple: don’t take shit that don’t belong to you. You knew he was married. You are not a victim sweetheart, you’re a volunteer He’s got you both and he doesn’t want to change that. Everyone is telling you to leave, but you won’t. You’ll hang around till he gets bored with you, then he’ll use his wife as an excuse to dump you and you’ll be all boo hoo about stuff you knew was gonna happen. Be happy while you can in the mess you’ve put yourself in and next time don’t screw around with someone else’s husband.

My partner was “married” when I met him but they had been separated for 5 years…. (He had a child with another person in this time too)
I asked them to get divorced as we had been together a while and I was pregnant and it was done & dealt with well within 6 months!
Bin him off……. :wastebasket:

I’m sorry, they’ve been separated a year, and you’ve been together for 10 months???

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First of all he jump from a marriage right into a relationship. :triangular_flag_on_post: . He sounds to me scared and not ready to move on yet. I would move on and DON’T DATE A MARRIED MAN.

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Don’t think he’s in a hurry to get a divorce yet, or he would of done it already

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That’s why you don’t date people that are still married

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If he’s not pressing the divorce issue, he’s not going to! It’s time for you to do what’s best for you!

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He’s not ready to divorce! Period. Move on…

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Rather than push him to get the divorce why not discuss with him, if he really wants the divorce, if it’s a money issue, if you can help. Talk about it. A divorce isn’t usually easy regardless of why. It takes time and at least a year to even process it.

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I’ve been with my current partner for about 5 years and I’m still married to my ex he does ask me when the divorce will happen I’ve tried but my ex keeps saying it will happen or they have the papers they will come and absolutely nothing happens it’s frustrating it will be 6 years in November since we separated and also 8 years that we been married come November so I understand your frustrations and his if you love him just try to stick it out because it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you sometimes it’s the ex spouse that’s the complicated one she might fight him on it give him a hard time etc do they have kids together because in my case I have 2 from my ex and he does not help me support them so spending a ton of money on a divorce is not something I can easily do I’ve been trying to have them split the cost with me it just pay for it themselves since I’m not the one that caused anything and my current partner understands that and has seen how things go when I try to do anything with getting it done and it does piss him off but he’s happy to just to be with me until I have the money to do everything with the divorce on my own and right now we decided maybe it’s best to wait the 10 year mark to in 2024 to see if I can get alimony besides child support when I go through with the divorce there’s a lot to it but if he’s willing definitely have him show you everything and be there with him when he confronts and talks to her about divorce so you know if it’s really him or her I included my current partner in all of it

Nope. If he wanted to do it, he would.

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Maybe don’t take up with married people?

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She left him, he wants her back, you crawled in his bed straight away and he’s keeping you around till wifey comes back

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Have you ever tried for a divorce? It’s time consuming.

If you don’t want to be with a married man, don’t be :woman_shrugging:… walk away.

I would get annoyed if a new girlfriend was constantly harping on me for something I had little control over

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He’s not ready … plus I’m pretty sure it can be pretty pricey. You’re best just moving onto to someone who has no other attachments. Less stress for you, not questioning your partner or having trust issues with them. It’s really not worth it imo :tipping_hand_woman:t4:

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I’d get a divorce if I could but after paying for the jewellery, wedding, honeymoon and everything else; I’m broke! On top of that, he’s refusing to give me his address so I can send him papers.

It’s another method of control for him. Been separated for six years now

Well!!! He should not be your partner in the first place if he has a wife!!

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Clearly he is having trouble with the divorce word. When me and my husband split up I refused to talk about divorce cause that’s not what I wanted. If he brought it up I would say “that’s not what I want, I want to figure this out and work us out” but divorce is different to every body. He may be afraid of having “failure” tied to his name because a lot of people associate divorce with failing. I would just leave it alone and he will come to you to talk about it when he is ready and just let him know that as well

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The answer is simple, he loves his wife. He’s just keeping you around so that he isn’t lonely. He got into a relationship immediately after separating, so that should be enough to tell you that he’s just scared to be alone. She left him and he’s just waiting for the day when she wants him back. As soon as she asks him to come back, he’ll toss you out like coleslaw on a plate at a 4th of July barbecue. You’re just prolonging the inevitable by staying with him and keeping false hope. The lesson that can be taken from this: Don’t date married men, separated or not. Leave him and find someone whose heart doesn’t already belong to someone else.

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It’s between him and his wife. She was there first. When he’s ready, he will let her know.

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Your wasting your time with him. Move on to better things

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Sorry princess, he’s not going to divorce his wife and you are just the side piece. If he wanted a divorce, it would have happened by now. I highly doubt he’s even filed paperwork. You might as well just walk away because here’s another little piece of advice; he tumbled into a relationship before finishing the one he was in and if you don’t think that isn’t going to happen to you then you are sadly mistaken. Relationships only last when they are built on a strong foundation of communication, trust and mutual respect; he has none of those things with you.

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Recently separated/divorced people need time to heal. They need time to focus on themselves and often aren’t emotionally available until they’ve done that; it’s a bad idea to be involved with someone in that situation until WELL after everything has been officially, legally, over.
I once had to end a relationship like this for that reason. One minute dude was calling me an “upgrade” and saying he wanted to shout his happiness from the rooftops; the next, he’d disappear for weeks without so much as a text.

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Why did you get involved with a married man? This story “I will leave her/him” with tons of excuses is ages old. He’s probably never going to leave her. She probably think their marriage is fine. He enjoys having both of you. Leave him & find someone available to you.

I didn’t even read this whole thing, but I’ll tell you one thing; THEY NEVERRRR leave the wife! If he was going to he would have BEFORE he got in a relationship with you! Don’t date married men / separated men, if he isn’t single single don’t waste your time

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I know some provinces / countries/ states you have to wait 365 days before you can file for divorce. Divorce is extremely stressful for both sides . Just gone him time and allow him and his ex wife to deal with this . Being with someone who is going through a divorce is hard and it causing stress for everyone but just be patient and supportive and allow them to deal with this .

If you’ve been with the guy for ten months already and they aren’t divorced it should tell you some things.

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I REALLY hope he smarts up and realize how vile you are op. 10 months is NOTHING… his divorce his business.

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Sorry Hun probably not. Sounds like he’s still hung up on his ex and just using u for his own needs. I hope that’s not the case but it sounds to me he’s just stringing u on. Sorry and good luck to u

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Been there done that got the baby go prove it. He won’t divorce. He’s probably still living his normal life at home and making excuses as to why he isn’t coming to see you or why he has to leave her for some time. Not worth it.

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It could be a number of things.

Some people freak out at that final stage when they have to sign their name. That’s when everything comes crashing down and they realize the person they loved and married and everything they had will be completely gone once they sign that paper. Doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want the divorce some just take some time, especially if they have kids. Why not talk to him calmly and understand his perspective if he’s willing to talk to you?

He could still be with her and he’s giving you the whole yeah baby I’m gonna leave my wife and love you forever crap.

The only one who knows is him and his wife/ex. Its never a good idea to be with someone who isn’t done the process mainly for your own sanity and well being. If they are still married in any shape or form you will always have that worry and wonder of the other person

If he cheated on his wife to be with you. He will cheat on you too.

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My dad and mum have been separated for 18 years and they still havent divorced :woman_shrugging:

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Nope… he’s not ready

Lol A married man can’t be your boyfriend. You should have never put your self in that situation. Once a man says he’s married that should mean he is off limits. Now you sitting around for almost a year like a big dummy hoping he gets a divorce. Sad :cry:

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No you shouldn’t bother a person to end their marriage. You do understand that a man who is ready to move on … does. So this is why you keep questioning and pressuring. You need to let him know you’re not interested in being the woman on the side that he is convinced you are. Tell him you aren’t dating a married man and you’re not sharing and when it’s final give you a call.
Personally I think he’s dragging his feet because if he is still married to her, he isn’t free to marry you. It’s a stall tactic. You should be prepared to leave and not look back.

They been separated a year and y’all been together 10 months? And he won’t divorce her? Leave that man alone and let him go back to his wife or make some other replacement miserable hunny

I wouldn’t continue, say good bye

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Walk away now. He has no intention of getting out of that commitment bcuz he doesn’t want to get right back into another one.

You aren’t even with him a year it’s between him and his wife

He needs to file in court an have her served if she refuses to sign he still gets to divorce her

I have a friend who has been trying to get her uncontested divorce for 7 years. He drags his feet, makes excuses. Not everything is as simple as it seems. She has moved on and to some degree he has too. Covid has also clogged the courts with back ups. Her paperwork just reached the judge last week.

I’m sorry but why would u be with a married man? You should have waited for the divorce to be finalized before starting a life with him. There could be a lot of reasons he hasn’t we don’t know the situation but this is between him and his wife. You haven’t even been together a year and your pushing him and knew he was married so this is between them and the pain u feel that’s on you

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No he still wants her. You’re just a side chick for the time being. Dump his Ass.

Run as fast as you can

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cut him loose he has no intentions of leaving his wife. he’s notworth the sstress, or temper

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Lol just leave bc it seems as though he doesn’t plan to leave her 100% if you stay though I’d recommend getting ahold of her yourself and talking to her lol

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You need to leave a married man alone even if they say I’m getting the divorce.

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He is NOT ready to let go completely of his wife. A year is really not that long….

If your Man wanted to be 100% with you and no longer married he would be taking the steps to do so.

Wait… why does he need her signature ??

You can just file electronically online and the court will seek out her signature… he doesn’t need to do that

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I dated a guy, years ago. I was married and separated. He was married and separated. I was chasing my (ex) husband across 3 states and spending hundreds of dollars to get my divorce. He wouldn’t even fill out the papers. I got my divorce. He went back to his wife with the parting words of “she’s my wife, you’re just a girlfriend”

Tell him to kick rocks! My money is on she left him and he doesn’t wanna file for divorce in hopes that she will eventually take him back.

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l get paid over $130 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18546 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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If someone isn’t doing something they said they will, it’s usually because they don’t actually WANT to do it.

I would leave now he’s not over her

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He doesn’t want a divorce!

See ya, I’d be out the door

I think you already know the answer to your question tbh.

Maybe because he has no intention of letting go? This is a major red flag I personally would not be able to handle this type of situation.

So your partner of 10 has been separated for 13 month. Seems like maybe it would have been better to wait until he was actually divorced.

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If he’s with you full time and this is the ONLY main issue between you, then stop, quit now. Are there any children from his marriage involved? Are you pressuring him because you wish to marry him? He’s only newly separated; in a way and he chose you and you aren’t giving him any breathing space. If you keep at him, you will lose him.

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Nope. I’d be like :v:. I wouldn’t get involved with a married man period.

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He don’t want you either.

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He isn’t going to divorce her. He still hopes she takes him back.

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Shouldn’t have gotten involved with a married man. You are now living with someone else’s husband.

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Definitely a no
Leave

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Idk why you’re so worried about it tbh :woman_shrugging:t3: I’ve been procrastinating a divorce myself for two years but me and my husband are very much on the outs entirely. Will NEVERRRRRR be back together. His ass dragging this divorce out and my ass just being lazy. I’m glad my man don’t bother me asking when imma do it cuz my last man did and that shit was ANNOYING.

Uhm no!!! Why would you continue a relationship with a married man making excuses not to divorce his wife?? I mean…………

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Why did you start it in the first place? He’s married?!

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Maybe that’s why you don’t get with someone who’s still married :woman_shrugging:t2:

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He’s using you while he hopes she will take him back.

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So I can think of 3 options to this:

  1. Leave
  2. Accept that he is doing it or will get it done when he is ready and drop it
  3. Give him a date 6 Months to 1 Year to have it finalised and tell him after that date you will leave the relationship if it’s not done. Then, don’t bring it up again and actually leave after that date.
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I personally think you shouldn’t be with him because he is married to someone else. He wants his cake and he wants to eat it as well

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Don’t :clap:t2: Date :clap:t2: Married :clap:t2: Men!
Problem solved!

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Why are you with a married man? You know he’s married. He’s someone else’s husband, this mess will never work out for you.

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Girl :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming: please run…I wouldn’t give him a second more of your time… tell him to truly figure out what he wants…but you want no parts until he does… or until they actually finalizes the paperwork…

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First of all, NEVER start a relationship with a married person! What made you believe this was a good idea?! I don’t care if this person was ‘separated’ from their spouse- still MARRIED! He probably doesn’t even want to end with his wife. He’s thinking of just giving her time and space and then they will work it out. Which they probably will! And you will be the one left- crying over this crap. Just leave. Unless you like feeling like this… :woman_shrugging::woman_facepalming::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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You are dating a married man that is in no hurry to get a divorce. He has lied to you about his divorce. Do you not understand that he is not ready or wanting to get divorced right now.
The best thing to do is date men who are single and available. You are a side piece right now.

Nope run from this man. He gets angry when you question him and he lies to you. Is that really what you want from your partner?

All the comments here is true to the meaning.married man .you asked for the :poop: lie’s he’s telling you.

You are his side piece, honey. He is not going to marry you. He is not going to divorce his wife for you. Dump him, and find someone who doesn’t already have a wife, separated or not.

Why on earth do you think he’s going to divorce his wife and probably pay spousal support, divide his retirement acct and assets just to turn around and do this again? Now he’s lying to you on top of it. He’s got his cake and is eating it too. Why would he change that? Open your eyes girl