My partner of 10 months is still married but has been separated from his wife for over a year (May this year was 1 year).Whenever I bring up the divorce he gets sooo angry. I asked him again today after 2 months of leaving it alone and he said “I have emailed her but she has been out of Town so she can’t sign the papers” then I asked if he could prove that he asked that and then he said “I haven’t been able to get in contact with her”.So I asked which one is it… is she out of town or didn’t you ask her? Caught him out in a lie and now he’s trying to use the excuse that he is too stressed and that’s why he lied. I don’t understand! He has already done everything else he just has to sign the paper and pay the fee and it’s over but he keeps finding excuses to not do it. Should I bother continuing this relationship?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner gets mad when I ask him when he is going to divorce his wife: Advice?
I wouldn’t. Because if he wanted to, he would. Lesson I’m learning rn. Call it a favor to yourself. Don’t ignore red flags.
I’ve heard those excuses before lol
Let that man go girl.
Why would you want a cheater?
He’s not ready to move on . I would leave and not waste another moment
He’s not serious enough about it. I hate to say it, but you were an accelerator to their marriage problems. He’s not ready to let go. Wants to get both sides of the fence.
You shouldn’t have stayed a relationship with him to begin with. He was and apparently still is…married…good grief, does no one have any morals any more?
No, you shouldn’t pursue this relationship. If he’s not ready to move on entirely, just go hun.
Girl leave right now
She can actually be out of town and he can’t get a hold of her.
He could have heard she is out of town from someone else.
Divorce is stressful even if you aren’t in love with the person anymore. Men stand to lose alot in a divorce…
Instead of asking when he will make her sign the papers and asking strangers online if you should continue the relationship try asking him about the relationship y’all have together.
Ask what he wants from you and where he wants it to go. Ask him if this relationship is Worth continuing and talk to him about your concerns of the relationship and the lack of divorce.
Seriously 10 months n ur asking tht question… ummm I think YOU NEED TO SETTLE DOWN COWGIRL!!
Nope. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with a married man in the first place. Until there is a legal divorce on file we would have remained friends. You set yourself up for heartache. Now if they decide to get back together that’s damn near a whole year of your life wasted. Time to move on you have wasted enough time
No. If he wanted too… Then he would’ve already done it.
Cut him off. Don’t waste your time. You’ve got ONE life.
It sounds like your relationship started very soon after he left the wife. Wether he is fully committed to you or not he doesn’t sound ready to divorce. Pushing him with questions could push him away.
This is just my take, not every man is out here cheating.
If he cheated on her with you he will cheat on you with some other girl why do girls always think they are the ones that will change a man’s ways.
Dont force it … If he wanted to he would Period!! Do what you need to for yourself never force anything know ya worth
Stop “dating” other peoples husbands
Omg listen tooo yourselves SHE HAS BEEN WITH HIM ONLY 10MONTHS BLOODY 10 MONTHS PPL
He hopped immediately from having a wife…to you? And that’s okay with you??
You’re dating a married man. He isn’t your partner.
Red flags arent challenges they are warning signs
It took my man 5 years to divorce and I was never naggy naggy about it either. He didn’t want to spend the money on starting the process, so he waited till she did it . Yes we talked about it, but I knew it would happen at some point. I’m still with that same man.
You’ve only been with him 10 months chill the frig out🤣
Does he “travel for work”??. Could be SHE doesn’t know they are divorcing and that makes YOU his side chick
Girl, I wouldn’t bother with him.
Wife and him been separated for a year and y’all been together 10 months nobody had time to really heal he just jumped into a new relationship not gonna work
Wake up crazy girl!!! He is not leaving his wife
You are with a partner who is still legally married. Perhaps he is not ready for closure on that chapter yet. You may need to step back and give him some time and space to properly heal, close that chapter and move on
This is why you don’t involve yourself with a married man
it took my husband almost 6 years to get his ex to sign papers. give him a break and stop nagging him. most people don’t wanna deal with their ex at all after they’ve split up i’m sure he’s no different
He doesn’t want to be divorced yet, or he’s still married to her. Period. Grow up.
You started dating 4 months after his marriage breakup, he’s prob still processing it all… He’s obviously not ready for whatever it is you want yet… It’s up to you if you wait but if you do wait then leave him be about the divorce.
Doesn’t sound like he actually wants to divorce her. He wants both of you.
It’s time to move on
He ain’t divorcing her
Why any woman wants to be with a married man is beyond me!
Stay in your lane.
What does it matter?
They’ve been separated for a year and you’ve been together 10 months?
These things take time, are emotional, cost money, etc.
Nope. He can still get divorced even if she doesn’t sign the papers. It just becomes a contested divorce. Nobody has to stay married if they don’t want to.
You’re a rebound unfortunately he’s probably realised he’s still in love with his wife, 4 months is way to quick to be getting involved with anyone. How long have they been married for? Any kids?
Ya I’d leave, but I’d never get involved with a married man… if he’s reluctant to get divorced it’s cause he doesn’t want to. Fck that.
Maybe his ability to identify and cope with the divorce isn’t so cut and dry as the idea behind what you think it should be. If you can’t understand that, walk away. It’s his internal issue that HE has to deal with and nothing to do with you.
He’s not ready to let her go. Probably still in love. Why did they break up to begin with? That will give you a good idea
Maybe he’s still working through it? It will happen when HE is ready for it to happen….not when you demand it happens.
Leave- he has absolutely no intention of following through. If he does- once you leave tell him you need proof the divorce is finalized or you won’t see him again.
Never begin to date someone until they are officially divorced.
He doesn’t want a divorce. Get you a single man.
Divorce takes a LONG time! I let my ex husband have EVERYTHING. The house, the car, no child support, no spousal support. Literally didn’t want nothing and it still took a year for everything to go through. It all depends on the the lawyers and the other person and how fast they move. Relax. If its meant to be it will happen.
What does it matter to you if he’s not legally divorced?
So, he’s a married liar. Seems like a great catch. What advice would you give your daughter if she posted the same questions? Know your worth, my dear…
You’ve been together for 10 month and he’s only been separated from his wife for 15 months? Girl, you’re the rebound.
He is not going to divorce his wife.
Took my friend over a year to get divorced bc of lawyers and her ex refused to sign the papers. Unless ur planning to get married like now why does it matter to u that hes not divorced yet. But if he’s just putting it off bc he doesn’t want the divorce I say run as fast as u can.
That would be a red flag for me just saying and men telling women they are “separated”dont mean shit lol
Girl, leave him. Obviously he don’t want to get divorced. Me & my boyfriend were both married and separated from our wife/husband when we met and started dating 2 years ago & we both got divorced within the 1st year. The point is If he wanted too, he would.
You’re a rebound. Rebounds never work. Even when people aren’t married. Odds are he’s not ready to make a commitment with you as he’s unsure if he wants to get divorced.
You should’ve left the minute you knew he was still married. Sorry to say but you’re the side piece and majority of men actually do not divorce their wives because they like having their cake and eating it too.
Stop hounding him about it.
IMO you should take a step back. Do not get more involved with him, he is still married to her. Probably not ready to let go of her, might be trying to figure out how he can win her back. That was my experience with my ex, he was with someone else (even had another child with her that he didn’t want) and was trying to win me back behind her back. Be careful. Guys like that are very deceiving. Don’t overlook the red flags you know what it is. Your instincts are strong girl, you already know what to do. You’re here for confirmation. Take your beautiful self outta that situation before you’re deeper than you ever wanted to be and go find someone who truly loves you and would never lie to you.
Not to sound horrible here, but I really don’t think it’s any of your business. It will happen when they are ready. Not YOU. Leave him alone about it. If he’s in a relationship with you then focus on that. He’s barely left a marriage and in another relationship with you already!? Girl, good luck!!
Have a heart to heart with him. Tell him how you feel about the situation. Ask him are you hoping to get back together with her or is it the money for the divorce that is bothering you. Tell him you can’t live like this you need answers. Cuz if it isn’t over between them you need to move on.
Put his ass out and let him know, do not come back until he have those divorce papers signed .Time and life is a terrible thing to waste he either get on board or move on
She doesn’t need to sign. There’s ways to get divorced without the other person signature. He is just giving you excuses.
Well you could just find your own man instead of one who is married:tipping_hand_woman:
I hate to even put it this way but it sounds like your the rebound relationship… Cut ties now because your in for a lot of heartache. He hasn’t even had time to morn the loss of that relationship and begin to heal from it. Pushing him to do something he isn’t sure he wants to happen is what’s stressing him out…
May be he doesn’t want a devorce
It’s simple, he is still married. You have been ok with that for 10 months. He has no reason rush it now. Truth is, he may not want a divorce
Technically they can’t officially divorce anyways until its been 1 year 1 day since separation… So asking him to divorce her prior to this time, it just can’t be done HOWEVER it sounds like he has no intentions to do so… Anything can happen, after they’ve had their taste of freedom and outside encounters, they may chose to reunite…
I’d be walking away because why settle and be someones 2nd when you could be another man’s number 1…
Why are people so quick to jump into another relationship? If you’ve been with him for 10 months and he’s still married. In my opinion you move on.
Well it sounds like he got into a relationship way to soon with you hun they been apart a year and with you for 10 months I would totally be careful with your feelings and heart you may be a rebound
Homewrecker, you are. Hes married and you’re just there for satisfaction.
Were u the other woman lol.u seemed to.get with him pretty quickly after he separated lol
He aint divorcing…you are the side piece and he will probably have more side pieces in the future
Okay so if I’m reading the timeline right, you got together two months after he ended his marriage?
Is the ex helping to pay for the divorce, or get the papers together, or is it all left to your man?
Do they have kids together? Because divorces get more complicated with kids.
There’s a lot of factors. But ultimately unless you’re worried about him leaving, or you want to get married soon (which I would hope isn’t the case), let it go. If you want him to get a divorce so badly, ask him if you can help in any way.
Don’t think he wants to get rid of her. Sounds like he wants you both and hasn’t made a true decision yet.
Sometimes these questions just boggle me. If your friend were asking you you’d be like… girl!
He doesn’t want the divorce. Sounds like a similar situation I was in. Move on
Lol he probably doesnt want to lose all of his money in divorce. Also, youre most likely his side piece.
girl. get out of that. is that how you want to start a relationship?? how legit do you think it is??
Why are you wasting time w a married man? Get of another woman’s relationship asap
You got with a married man…
You get what you get.
THIS is what makes you wonder if you should continue the relationship? Oh babe……
You might be rebound girl
Sounds like you are a rebound I hate to say this he probably still loves his wife and using you. How about you message the ex wife
If they have only been separated a year then yes, you need to move on. They’re not ready.
What’s the rush should have thought about this 10 months ago
He isn’t divorcing her. You just stick around and continue to be the home wrecker!
You’re the side piece. He has his cake and eats it, too. Ditch that loser.
I think you should let him go! He may be just telling you he is going to divorce her.
You should have never started it
Run! To many red flags
You shouldnt have got involved with him until the divorce was final.!!!
No leave u wasting your time
Could be me >.> my boyfriend has been separated from his ex for 9 years and they’re not divorced. Like he doesn’t even know where she lives to get a divorce.
Leave. I was with a man for 5 yrs and he was in the process of getting a divorce when we met. He died before it was final and the legal wife got everything. Leave and if he loves you he will get a divorce for you. If he doesnt then cut your losses while ahead.
RUN DON’T WALK he is using YOU
You said you have been with him for
But he has been separated from his wife for a year ?
Sounds like it may have been a rebound thing
That resulted in a relationship to soon
A divorce isn’t a simple as signing some paper work and paying a fee
Especially if there are joint assets and kids involved
He maybe unsure as to if he wants to end his marriage or try to work it out with his wife
I also feel there is more to this
Then you have let on
But at the end of the day
Only you can decide how you want to play this
Is this the best you can do ? This man is already taken and doesn’t want a divorce,