Does anyone have a partner who’s ex is actively involved in their life? My boyfriend has a 5 year old to his ex but she is very close to his whole family. She’ll post on Facebook about him. Share pictures with them in it. They’re always texting “co parenting” which I understand but I share 50/50 with my daughters father and we never communicate unless it’s a drop off/pick up day or something that needs discussed. But it bothers me. He’s always telling stories with her included. They were together for 7 years . Like at this point she’s more family than I’ll ever be. He’s always accusing me of talking to my daughters father and I learned from experience that if I’m being accused of something I’ve never given any reason to be accused of, they’re guilty of doing that same thing. I try not to let it bother me most days but I seen a picture she posted with them in it now I’m in my feelings over it. I just don’t know what to think of the situation. I feel like he’s always comparing me to her…like I’m not everything she was.
He’s definitely still sleeping with her. Leave and find the love you deserve.
One word. Boundaries. They have to be set in order for your relationship to grow in a positive direction. I’m huge on boundaries. That doesn’t mean your way or no way, you have to compromise but you have to both express your feelings and you both have to respect them or you part ways. Establish this understanding before yall get married.
My hubs and I are like this with our exs. It’s great for the kids. Maybe you should try and be her friend. There’s nothing wrong with him being friends with his ex. My hubs helps his ex out with things at her house. I don’t have an issue.
The longer you except the situation with out communication- the worse it will be - apparently you both have trust issues- loyalty, trust, accountability and responsibility are the four corners and the walls are made strong through open, honest communication, understanding and love. You ain’t got 2 out of 4 - you can/deserve better, young one.
I’m friends with an ex I was with him for 5 years and we have no kids and it’s been like 20 years since we’ve been together… our family’s and us still talk wherever we feel like it… and I can promise you there’s nothing there… But depends on your relationship! It’s my current bf had a problem with it that would be a conversation to be had…
Have you discussed boundaries with him? And if so, and he’s not respecting that, then maybe get close with your ex:wink: let him see how it feels:rofl:
(im an aquarius, im petty)
I’m very close to my X husband, also my children’s dad , we been divorced since 09 and girls are grown and married but we still co-parent and co-grand parent together, still call each other ,get together with our kids ,go eat etc but there’s nothing between us no feelings what so ever ,it’s great they get along and have good memories to share .
I wouldn’t deal with that. I have a very good relationship with my ex husband just about my kids but that’s it. It shouldn’t interfere with yalls relationship and their should be boundaries to respect yalls relationship.
If they’re not doing or saying anything inappropriate and they’re not crossing any kind of boundaries they’re just friends being friendly and have a good relationship I mean he obviously chose you he’s with you but if you think it’s not done then leave if it’s going to cause insecurities and problems with him being friends with his ex then leave 
I’m friends with my ex as well I get along with his girlfriend well we all hang out and do family barbecues and holidays together we have a lot of history that doesn’t mean that either one of us wants anything more. But idk not every case is the same. If your gut is telling you something then listen . If you feel they’re too friendly or inappropriate then set boundaries and if he doesn’t want to then leave. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this situation.
I have 2 friends, sisters…1 has a son with a guy (we all grew up together). It didn’t work, but her and his family are tight. She is best friends with his now wife. The other sister wasn’t with her baby dad after but was very close to the family as well, even with his new wife. Her baby dad even took on her daughter from another guy, treated her like his own…he unfortunately passed away and they all came together as one big family to support each other. The first sister is engaged to the 2nd sisters ex’s brother that passed. The love between them all is 
It would be hard to set boundaries years into it.
Good co parenting , I would have loved to have that with my ex when my daughter was little.
I love that for their child!! They going grow up being able to have their parents as a united front. I’m super proud of them for that.
As for you, just leave.
I went to my ex’s wedding. We had two children together
Save urself the time and leave, that’s a lot
There’s a difference in being in good terms for the child and crossing boundaries.
Most of what you said, was nothing but red flags. I’d get out of the situation, because they’re prob still hooking up. The fact that he’s accusing you, says it all!
My babies dad is fond of us and his kids I had to put him in his place because I am done with him but we share kids my babies would drop anything for us but I have made that adamant when I moved on 
anyone I am with has to accept that I am really close to my ex’s family such as still going over for holidays, birthdays inviting them to gatherings some just have those relationships! Doesn’t mean I want him cuz if I did we would still be together.
She is there for the long haul. Learn to coparent.
I was with mine 8 years. He’ll text asking how I’m feeling. (Health issues) He’ll ask what the kids are doing. We gossip about stuff. My fiance and his ex has a daughter. She’s grown and they don’t talk as much as me and mine but ours is also Littles. I don’t think nothing of it. He doesn’t think anything of me and mine either. But here’s the thing…neither one of us post photos of the other. If it has kids in it yeah but that’s very seldom that that would happen. I mean, we even help my ex financially if he needs help. I’m actually about to move out of where I’m at and my ex is moving in it. 
I have stuff stored at his house and his storage unit. His cell is still on with my contract and we’ve been divorced going on 4 years.
There is something wrong with this picture. I been through it, always talked, even always saw his ex. I couldn’t do it anymore. Found out they still had feelings. With my ex I only talk to him when needs to be with my son. Same goes for my bf he only talks to her about there kids. I get where you’re coming from. I been there delt it. Finally the relation ended.
You’re not everything she was… BUT you are everything you are…
I grew up learning same thing if they’re accusing, they’re the doing! Leave.
Why are you still there, get out, let her have him, it’s what she wants, but maybe he doesn’t. Live your life for YOU AND YOUR CHILD!!! say nothing but bye…
I don’t see where it is crossing a line. They sound like friends, which is fine. I’m still very friendly with my ex on social media, tagging him in inside joke memes and stuff.
Just leave, they share a child. My son’s father ran for the hills so lucky them for such great co-parenting
If he accused you of it he very well could be projecting what he is doing or wants to do.
You need to run they can be civil to each for the child but I think she’s crossing a line. She knows what she’s doing and so does he. Run run run
How long have you been together? Is he worth keeping? Do you wanna fight to keep him or fight with him? I was close to my ex, we did vacation together all the time too. He became my best friend. We were way better as friends and there were no kids involved. He supported my decision to start a new relationship and didn’t give me a hard time. You have to love the other parent of your kids as they wouldn’t have the kids without them. Do you have insecurities? Maybe he does?
You just answered your own question, sorry to say. Either tell him how you feel and see if it changes or run while you can:sweat_smile:
Yeah…ummm…no. co parent is one thing. Out to eat,.pics of them two still…
Walk…he’s still with her as well as his family. He has zero boundaries and zero respect for you or your feelings.
From the perspective of the ex be thankful that they have a good co parenting relationship for the child. My ex and I are best friends and we speak everyday whether we are with our child or not. It’s mostly about our child but there’s nothing sinister going on, we were together 10 years and we are one of the lucky ones that remain friends and have a great relationship and it very much benefits our child. He doesn’t see any fighting, he sees us getting along and working together with the same parenting goals for him. Neither of us have another partner but if we do I don’t see our relationship changing all that much. Our child will always come first.
Is the picture from the past or recent? She is his ex for a reason, maybe you should gently remind him of this. It is good for the families that they are getting along that’s awesome coparenting as long as they don’t cross a line.
I’d leave.
But the younger version of myself would do the same with my ex since he doesn’t like it to prove a point.
Them getting along isn’t an issue. The fact he’s having a go at you whilst acting that way is. I’d have a conversation and be like you’re having ago at me for this but doing this (show examples) and if he’s still defensive, I’d walk
Id leave. This relationship is toast if his attn is not focused on you.
Until he started accusing you of doing thr exact crap he is doing like its a bad thing inwas going to say he has a decent relatiosnhip with his baby mama that can be pretty healthy but after that now i think this guy isnt quite over her and shes not over him and they need to sort that crap out bc new relationships cant be healthy when thryre going to blame some nonesense on their new partners when they know very well theyre super close to their babys other parent.
Just walk away… years of being second should not be you’re destiny!! Just be done now
This was exactly like my ex.
I couldn’t take it anymore. She would talk to his mom everyday still (like the ex gf would talk to my ex boyfriends mom), she would always post on his Facebook, they’d take selfies together, they’d post pics of just the three of them (my ex, his ex, and their daughter).
It was so inappropriate and there were no boundaries. I could not handle it.
I always told him there’s no room for me and my son in your guys life, because you 2 are basically still together.
It was awful and it never gets better. I would always tell him it’s GREAT to have a good co parenting relationship, however there has to be boundaries.
So it’s OK for them to message each other, but not you with your child’s other parent? I’d run
I feel if you want to talk to your ex for you kid you should be able to
Now i will give my input me and my ex where together for 14-15 years have 4 kids together and weren’t just in a relationship we were best friends/friends I will always love him as family because he is my family we talk, we text, and he hangs out with me and my now husband and is uncle to my youngest child
But if it’s okay for him to have that relationship you should be allowed as well I never want my kids to feel like they can’t have both me and their dad together in a room hanging out etc
His last gf though had an issue with this and I’m big on the were friends were coparents and I’d like to be able to hang out and plan stuff out with everyone
They haven’t moved on from each other and probably never will. Ball is in your court.
Red flag city it might as well be slapping you in the face. Just be done with it. Life is too short
Could jealousy be a factor ? U say ur not like that with ur ex who u shared a child with…mebe u should be because it’s a great thing that he’s so involved don’t b so uptight
That doesn’t Work with Me
My ex was very close to his ex. Always talking to her, giving into her sh!t, stopping everything for her, comparing me to her, spending the night “for the kid”, putting them first for example he took Christmas gifts from my son for his then spent Christmas morning with them ordering me that my kid couldn’t open gifts without him. He contacted her when my kids were born but wouldn’t call my family. Girl if it bothers you there’s a reason. Don’t listen to his gaslighting or manipulation. RUN!
The fact you don’t communicate like he does with his ex and he is still mad at you i would run! Could you imagine the crap from him if a picture of you and your ex was posted online. or you two went out with the kids to do something probably lose his top if it’s not equal there is a reason. He can do it but you can’t.
Honestly I would say let him go
They obviously have a very good friendship and she is still close to the family or something is going on with 2 of them ita up to you to figure out which one if it totally innocent then try to bond with her etx if you find out he cheating then you have your answer but you could find out ita totally innocent but she shouldn’t blame you for something that he is doing himself
Honestly, maybe you’re not ready for a grown-up relationship. I always wanted a relationship with my ex and his current. Like be able to do birthdays TOGETHER, holidays together, etc for our child. If that’s what they want and have, and you don’t agree, you’re the problem.
It’s never gonna work out you will just waste your time and get hurt in the process
If he is accusing you of anything he’s not worth your time. Run like hell and don’t look back.
I personally wouldn’t deal with that. 
And yet, he chose you. I was jealous of the ex to begin with. Now I consider her part of the family because SHE IS.
You obviously have a different relationship with your ex - similar to what I had with mine which I think fueled my jealousy. But - we’ve been together 35 years now.
My husband knew his ex in high school and yes, they tell stories I’m not included in - but he and I have stories to.
Try to look at how wonderful it is that not only do his children still have BOTH their parents working together to raise them, but a bonus mom as well.
Jealousy will only corrode your relationship. Befriend her instead - it will be beneficial to all of you.
Be happy it’s not a toxic situation. If that part of his life concerns you why are you with a man with a child
My ex and I are definitely friends and I am very tight with his grandma. We have a 12 year old daughter together. My husband and him are very cool with each other. He came over when we gave my daughter a birthday party. If he says things to you to make you feel less then, I would leave him.
But every school function they will both be at, any games or things like that. Everyone’s ex relationships is different. I don’t post pics of him but if he was in a pic that we took at some function I would post it and my husband wouldn’t care.
If your not comfortable with it, don’t be with him. I think you should leave him anyway, bc it does sound like he is controlling and a hypocrite.
I’ve actually ended a few relationships over this issue!
Co-patenting is fine. I expect a man to be a good father and support his ex with his child’s needs etc. However I draw the line at that “my ex and I are best friends and talk everyday” nonsense as it’s a psychological shit show… Communicating with your ex everyday and still relying on them to meet your emotional/spiritual/physical needs, wether you have a child or not is actually very unhealthy. It creates a co-dependant relationship that then causes senarios like the one you you are in now. The key is being able to communicate and co-parent but also set boundaries with our exes. This “family” either don’t how to yet, or simply don’t want to 
and until they figure out you will always feel like a spare part in their lives.
My advice would be to leave them to their business and move on to whatever makes you happy 
I’m 50/50 with this. I don’t agree that he can chit chat with his coparent but then bash you saying you’re doing it. So what if you were? What’s good for him is good for you.
However; my ex and I share and tag the other in pictures of our kiddo, and we coparent so good lately as far as I include his family in things and they do with my daughter (not his) like got her Christmas gifts which was SO appreciated but they definitely didn’t NEED too which is saying a lot because we’ve been through the ringer in our sons two short years. We’re to the point where we can ask to keep our kiddo longer for fun activities and it’s fine when a year and a half ago we were straight by the court order. At this point is where coparenting comes in and it’s like is my child going to have fun? Yes? Than what’s the problem. It took a lot of tears and hatred to get this far but I wouldn’t change it. I love that he has so much love from both sides and that they include my daughter even if it’s something as small as bringing her a happy meal when they get him one. Things like that I’m so thankful for because her dad can’t be bothered.
This way of thinking has ruined a few relationships for me 
and honestly that’s okay. I have been told my children’s dads shouldn’t be stopping in announced and since they were something more was going on and man that ain’t something I’m gonna ever deal with again because NO it just means I’m not going to turn my kids father away if they are actually trying because I’ve been on the half of them “not trying” and it’s a shitty thing to see your children go through.
boundaries need to be set. shes an ex for a reason evem with a kid involved. leave the douchebag. u deserve bett a r
It’s great that They want to Co parent So well. But…if He doesn’t like you talking & co parenting with your X ? then Why is it ok for him to be so involved with his X? that doesn’t make much sense. Whats good for the gander, is good for the goose. SOoo WHY did they break up? sounds like they should still be together and You should find a Man that pays more attention to you instead of his X and you should work on the communication with your baby daddy, He’s going to be in her life forever.
I have 3 grown up children with my X,
I don’t really ring my X or actualy talk much to him either.
My X and his wife do have a lot to do with his children and grand children If there is a gathering or party he and his wife are invited has well.
If I have a dinner at my place both his wife and him are invited too.
Xmas ,New years eve Easter or any other special occasion we alwaies celebrating it all together too.
I have never married or had a partner after divorcing my X over 28 years ago. I try to be a civil person for the sake of our children!
The kids and grand kids are my number one priority in my life.
They do love there father and I do respect that!! We don’t usually discuss any thing about the kids together.
The kids are all adults now and make there own decisions.
I’m just trying to being a supportive parent.
Sounds like your a tad jealous
Its ok for exs to stay friends and communicate
Also it’s great for the kids and the other parent to have a relationship with the families
Don’t base your relationship on past relationships
His ex-girlfriend seems to be going out of her way to make you feel jealous and inadequate your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be helping much I hope you’re on birth control
I think the problem is in you! I would love to have a healthy co parenting relationship with my son’s father I talk to his family actually his aunt my son’s great aunt is actually very close with my kids who she isn’t related to, and cuz my 3 other children are her nephew siblings she treats them all so well they all call her auntie I also talk to his mom too every once in a while but the one thing I urn for is to be able to get along with my ex. And I know my husband feels the same way it would make it less stressful for us and especially our son. So I think you need to check your insecurities talk to him and ask him not to compare you two. But I’m happy for his kid that your partner and his ex have a great co parenting relationship It is all about the children that’s what people need to remember
I was in a similar experience. When he cut her off for 3 years everyone got along so great. His sister pushed to bring her back in and everyone started sneaky crap. They knew how to manipulate my ex till he treated his 3 sons like crap over lies.
Coincidence his ex split with her hubby around the same time I kicked my ex out for good in 2017.
They were seeing eachother with his family to protect them until he ran out of money then she went back to her new husband.
I blocked them allllll and kept it that way since.
Things only happen because people allow it to happen. They invite the drama in to wreak kaos.
She might be an ex, they might have kids ect
But acknowledge that neither of them respect you , your relationship or any kids you have.
Follow your gut feeling. I would always tell him there was something that quite didn’t match up between the relationship with his ex. The minute we broke it off he was back with her. Always follow your intuition it’s telling you something
It’s sounds like he still has feelings and that she might as well. At the least I would say emotionally cheating.
Communicate with him that them getting along is good but, there has to be some healthy boundaries in order for your relationship to bloom.
It’s time to go. You are not what’s wrong. He is just still hung up on his ex. Just cut him loose and find a guy who is truly emotionally available. Do not beat yourself up about it. Lots of people are tempted by wonderful, beautiful people before they were truly over their ex. It wasn’t fair to you, but he probably hoped you would help him along in that regard. In the end, you have to protect yourself and your child.
Best of luck!
Don’t walk, Run!!!
I absolutely support ex’s getting along for the benefit of their children.
However, these two are being absolutely disrespectful. She is baiting you by posting pics with him. Her behavior is childish and immature. Actually borders on narcissistic 
Why is he accusing you, when he is still entertaining his ex? Why does he encourage her posting pics of him. He should be drawing clear boundaries with her.
My mum always maintained that if he is accusing you of doing the dirty then he is simply creating a smoke screen, because he is the guilty party😏
Some ex’s move on and create a happy, healthy life for themselves. Some prefer to hang around and be the 3rd wheel.
You deserve so much better. Save your sanity, move on.
Your feelings are valid, and if he’s not willing to set some boundaries to protect your feelings, then it might be time to leave. The fact that he accuses you of talking to your ex when you said you clearly don’t, is a red flag. If you acted in the same way with your ex that he does with his, would he tolerate it? There’s your answer.
Run ibhave dealt with that my ex has a 4 year old most of the time I was with him his visits with his daughter were totally separated from what me and him did they were supervised visits at an agency him and his child’s mom had no contact he talked so much mess about her up until judge granted 50/50 with him getting every other weekend then all the sudden his childs mother was so great she was doing so good so great she would call him for every little thing telling him how her therapy was and when she had her dance class and stuff totally not about their child he even paid for her a new phone I get helping your child’s mother for the sake of the child but there has to be a line where things are separated he told me she wasn’t a threat I was the one there with him not her anyway I ended up leaving him because he was becoming very mentally and emotionally abusive I left but guess who he’s back with? The one I didn’t have to worry about so like I said run there has to be boundaries if he hasn’t set any he will never be able to have any relationships no women wants to feel like the 3rd wheel in what’s supposed to be her relationship
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I thought it would be no big deal until you said he acuses you of talking to your bd. That’s not only controlling but abusive. Dump him.
If it isn’t about the child he shouldn’t be talking to her ! Girl let that go now before your in to deep!
Run 
girl run … like you said. It’s ok to communicate for the sake of Their child but if she did all that and he accused you of something he’s doing. They have an unfinished business going on. And you’ll never be good enough for him. Pack your stuff and run
Is this what your settling for? Leave dude…
If it’s not about the children there’s no reason for exes to be speaking to each other and there’s definitely no reason for them to be sharing posts and photos and all that nonsense he is in the wrong 100%
I wouldn’t put up with that, they playing you like a fool!