The wife will collect benefits fr him if he dies, like wth she’s in another country so have a lawyer put a notice in the paper & if she doesn’t comply or contest it divorce granted !! What exactly is he scared of? Maybe he left her & doesn’t wanta be found!!! Have you seen the marriage certificate?
Scared ??? OMG a good one,
Sounds like the only thing he’s scared of is the truth.
He’s truly still in love with his wife. He messed over a good woman! In his mind hopefully the wife would except him back as her husband…
After this long, would u really be able to leave if he doesn’t divorce her? Commitment to that M word is obviously weighing on your mind, and his. You need to figure out what you want to do, because he is obviously living his best life as it is. The question is,are you?
Was he honest with you about this 15 years ago or did he just bring this up recently? If you’ve known the whole time, no judgement. It happens. If he just recently brought this up, you need to just let him figure it out on his own. He should still be able to get a divorce. I’m not sure how it works with her being in another country but, if they both were in the US, you can file, they wait 90 days to see if anyone has any issues with it, and then go ahead and finalize the divorce. He will need to at least speak with a lawyer though because her being in another country may change that. There’s free legal aid in every state that can help should money be an issue.
so, you are with a partner who has been married longer than you have been with him, which has been 15 yrs, but he is not divorce!!! Is this for real??? First of all you dated a married man, & now it’s been 15 yrs & you are still with him??? This really can’t be real. Is this an April fool’s thing??? Who in their right mind stays with a man for 15 yrs but he is still married ??? I do have a very nice, sunny tree island for sale if you are interested??? I did read the other comments, & will say, if she left him or the other way away, he can still get a divorce just for being abandoned, But after 15 yrs being with you, he never did that. So whatever. I still have that very nice cozy island for sale
What on Earth is he scared of? I’ve been separated from my ex for over 3 years, the only reason we haven’t got divorced is because I can’t afford to do it at the moment. I can’t see why after 15 years of being together when his ex is in a different country that he would be scared?
Are you sure he’s even married???
Maybe he just doesn’t want to marry you and is using that as an excuse.
He should be scared of you
At this point if he hid that from you and couldn’t tell the truth why would you ever want to marry someone like that ?
Probably scared you’dfind something out, that his been hiding.
What if the wife is closer then you thought.
Anyone else think this sounds like a show on the Investigation Discovery channel? It’s like you want to get married and brought it up and since he cares about you he told you the truth of being married…. What he didn’t tell you is he’s scared to file for divorce because he murdered his first wife. He created a brand new fake identity and you have no clue who he really is kidding of course… kinda…
Yalll ppl are nuts
Prob he maried her to live in that country or for her to live in that country
If he left her maybr scard.get.charge for being w sum1 eles.while ur maried ?
Even in a common law marriage state two people must file for divorce in order to be divorced. So I would say yes, by law, they would still be considered married. Her leaving the country is irrelevant.
He obviously can’t commit smh, girl get a new one
My 2nd husband and I were sep for 14 years before our divorce went through simply because I didn’t push it and he would never sign. I waited until both our kids were adults so there was no backlash of me pushing the divorce through. I ended up having to wait 18 months for the divorce after I filed it because he refused to sign or accept service…realize I talk to him daily and he lives 20 minutes from me but he just didn’t want a divorce.
There is a lot of missing details here.
Why is this grown man scared? Especially since she doesn’t even live in this country?
Anyways, he needs to consult with a divorce attorney — there are ways to divorce his wife that now lives outside the country. And, obviously, since it’s been 15 years, this just isn’t high on his to-do list, whether pure laziness, or he still loves her, or he’s perfectly content with how his life is—only he knows his real reasons.
That is an issue YOU should have with him, —his life partner for the last decade and a half—.
Give him an ultimatum to divorce her if this is bothersome to you. And mean it. You deserve to be with an unattached man.
Best of luck with all this.
Scared? He just dont wanna divorce her. Hes getting his cake and icing having both of yall. I swear its sick how some women are so gullible
Gosh, l really dont understand some of these posters. What do you want us to say hon? 15 years of your life wasted.
This is giving me “It’s cheaper to keep her”. That’s a sign
I saw a couple people say maybe he is just saying he is married so he doesn’t have to marry you! If that is the case you can look it up online ask him where he got married what state and county and its public records you can see if he really is!
This is comical. Thanks for the laugh today!
15 years? And his wife about to get his ssi? 401k? All his benefits and you worried about divorce. Give that woman back her husband and keep it moving honey.
Getting a divorce is easy, even easier if one spouse is MIA. He’s using the excuse to avoid getting married again/to you and probably to anyone else as well.
My BF is also married to someone else. We’ve been together for 4 years.
It would really mean a lot to me if he got the divorce, but it’s been four years so I doubt that he will. We’re not ready for marriage ourselves, but even still, it tells me that he never wants to get married. Which is pretty much fine by me for now anyway.
How r We gona Help???
You can get a divorce here easily. He just may lose rights in whatever country he is from. Each country has different laws. He would need to know the date and location he was originally married to do it here. You can go to your local town hall and start the process. If he’s making this many excuses though it sounds to me like he may be living a double life. He may be lieing to you.
There are legal implications to him being married to someone else that trump your 15 years with him. She’s still legally his wife no matter where she lives. You’re going to have a mess to deal with if he suddenly dies. That’s what he should be afraid of. It’s shocking that neither of you have considered this before and have neglected dealing with it for this long.
Oh for crying out
Scared?!? Did he run from his wife? Why would he be scared and hiding from her?
I’m going to assume he married a foreigner years ago one drunken or drug induced night and has no idea where she is and is lazy and doesnt want to do the foot work in locating her because it hasn’t been of importance to him for 15 years. He just needs to remember that if he passes away, she’s his next of kin. No matter WHERE SHE IS
He makes a court date- she doesn’t show- and can’t be served. BOOM A DIVORCE. Did mine that way. Easyyyyy as shit
Forget it Hun …if he hasn’t done so in 15 years then it ain’t happening. You have to want better for yourself💯
Everything you’ve built together over all those years legally belong to her when he leaves this earth.
If the situation has been ignored for 15 years- I seriously doubt it will be solved anytime soon if ever.
Keep on him to get this mess cleared up. If he passes(when) you’ll be up a creek without a paddle.
You need to see a lawyer and at the very least get a will drawn up that says you get whatever the two of you have accumulated (money, home, property) during the years you have been together. A divorce sounds like it’s off the table, but you need the financial security that a will can provide you.
You can get a divorce not knowing where the person is located. It’s called divorce by publication…
Shouldn’t be your partner!
Did he marry her to help her get her papers? I have a friend that did that too.
Scared of what? Sounds like he’s got some skeletons in the closet that you have no idea about why else would you be scared after this many years. Good luck
Her leaving the country does not make them divorced. They have to actually file and go through the courts. I’m not sure how it works with her out of the country. The may be able to send the papers to her so she can sign them and send back, I don’t know. As stated above, half of everything he has (you 2 have) is legally hers. If I were you I wouldn’t have any shared bank accounts, property, vehicles, etc in both of your names. If he filed they could force him to liquidate all his assets and give her half.
Honestly, though, if he hasn’t bothered to file after 15+ years I highly doubt he will.
Talk to a lawyer. They can direct you what needs to be done and if its too difficult makee sure he has a will stating you are his beneficiary.
He’s scared he’s going to be found out.
15 years and hes still married to her…he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Sorry not sorry you should of left like 14 years ago
I am actually wondering if he is even really married or just made it up as an excuse not to get married.
What’s he scared of? That don’t make since. He been with you 15 years smh. This is crazy.
Probably has kids with this wife, and if he’d contact her, she’d finally know where he is and want that back child support…once married always married… regardless of how many years have passed…until a Judge rules in a court of law…that they are now divorced.
If shes out of the country he can file divorce under abandonment… enough time has passed by where he wont even need her or her signiture to be granted. He just has to suck up the filing expense and do it!
I am an impulsive person. I married a man when I was 18 and left him 2 years later after a horrible marriage. I never divorced him because I didnt want to make it easy on myself to get married again and feel stuck. I was with my last boyfriend for over 10 years and am so glad now that I couldnt easily marry him because I would have.
Talk to a lawyer. In most places all you’ll have to do is run an ad in the paper for so many weeks then pay court cost
He needs to move forward and get that divorce. If something happens to him, you’re left with nothing.
Sweet little baby jebus
Please tell me this is a joke.
Enjoy jail time both of you bc if you are in the UK it’s illegal
It has to be done through a lawyer. My mom is in the same boat. She is legally married to my bio dad but he’s been in another country for 28 years but has to go through a whole expensive and time consuming process to be legally divorced
You have been his “side chick”
for 15 years?
Split. Dont be a homewrecker. He obviously doesnt want a divorce and never will…
What the hell is he scared of?
Don’t judge. I’ve been with my partner for nearly 8 years… I’m still married to my ex, I have no idea where he is, and I don’t want him to know where I am either of I’m honest…
I get no benefit from still being married to the POS… but a month turns to 6 turns to a year… and when u don’t know where they are, its easy to carry on your life without a second thought to it.
Married for 15yrs???
And what are you doing with a married man ? Don’t you see he is not going to get a divorce
He’s playing you. You believe…after 15 Years…that he’s actually gonna leave her?? Why should he?
Scared of what exactly? Scared of her? Scared of what he might lose in a divorce? Scared because he’s lying or hiding the whole truth and facts? Nobody’s scared after 15 years of being with someone else unless he was never married or he’s hiding something way bigger and knows you’ll leave him once you find out the truth? Sounds like an excuse to me, and I think you need to start doing some detective work or hire one and find out the whole story and decide what you need to do from there?
The sooner he divorce’s he better. There are so many legal implications that could get him …
Consultations with lawyers should not cost much write down a list of questions he’s scared she will try to get his money ask about that