My partner wants to split up: Advice?

Hi, I’ve recently broken up with my partner of 8 years, and he’s the only person I’ve ever had a proper relationship with. A couple of weeks ago, he said he no longer loves me, and it’s broke my heart. I know I need to stay strong for my little girl, but because I’m on maternity leave, I’m finding it difficult and keep overthinking the situation, which makes me hurt more. Also, the night times feel really lonely, and I was just wondering what advice anyone has to try and help me overcome the loneliness and heartbreak and feel stronger. Thank you

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Let me just say this. To drag it out when he feels this way will only hurt you more. Its going to hurt to let go but some times this happens for even better things to happen to you. Same thing happen to me. I moved on went to college, met the love of my life and have never been happier. It may not feel like it now. But it can get better

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Focus on your baby girl it will be hard but just think what would you tell your daughter if she was in your situation. I hope you find comfort soon ! :heart:

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Its hard. My sister left her husband of 15 years because of abuse, but she had been with him soo long she didn’t know who she was after 3 kids and being around him and his family all the time. I say take time to gather yourself because you can’t make someone love you, and start finding yourself now. Just switch to “me and my kids” mode.

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I’m so sorry. My daughters father and I broke up when my daughter was 3 months old. It hurt like crazy and I felt very alone through it all. My daughter was what got me through it. I put all my effort into being a great mother. I couldn’t change his mind and after a while I didn’t want too. You will get through it!

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You are in a very difficult position. But I have faith in you! My suggestion would be to contact your ob/gyn and ask for a referral to a post partum depression group for moms. Not saying you are in depression here, but the village of moms you meet there is lifelong and has helped me see things in a new light. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

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Talk to your friends. Keep as busy as you can) downtime is your enemy) . talk to a counselor if you think its interfering with functioning normally. Stay positive. Everything happens for a reason. I was with my ex 7 yrs and we had two beautiful girls together then one day he just left me and moved in with some other girl. It hurt so bad but now I thank the universe he left me

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It’s hard I know. But there are many women I your situation and we find a way to take it one day at a time. Stay busy and develop a new nighttime routine

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You have to take things one day at a time. Try not to over think as it can cause un needed stress. Your little can feel your energy so its important to stay as calm as possible. Make a list of things you need to accomplish and keep that list handy. When you do the task check it off the list. You’ll feel better. Try to accomplish one task a day. Look at it this way, you have no one to hog the blankets anymore. No one to listen to snoring and your on your own time doing things that you want when you want.

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Me and my husband separated after 8 years 5 years in a marriage

It’ll hurt. Let it. Grow from it. Cry. Scream. Do things for yourself. Do things to be a even better mommy then you already are! Enjoy life! It’ll get better. And then some days will suck and your mind will wonder the ‘What if’s’. But stay busy and do good. It’ll all work out the way it’s suppose to. You will become stronger. Best wishes. We are all here to learn and your spirits journey will continue!

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Try to find a real man that will
Make you his queen

So sorry to hear about this split up. Stay strong. It will break your heart but please move on for the sake of your kids

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Focus on your baby. Before you know it you’ll move on.

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I was in that same position but I left with my son because I couldn’t be with someone that didn’t love me back my son was 1 month I got a babysitter and started studying for special edd teacher being around kids that needed the help made me forget about him and stay focused on my son and myself best wishes

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Rose quartz and aventurine for the heart :heart:

I’m going thru the same thing right now. Feels like your world is collapsing down around you.
You be strong, & I’ll do the same :heartpulse:

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In the same position as of now.

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Take things one day @ a time. Let him go. It gets easier overtime. Nothing is worse then being with someone that don’t love you. Best of luck love :heart:

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This happened to me after 11 years of marriage. I used to cry myself to sleep. It didn’t take long to realize it was the best that could of happened. I now look back and can’t believe I hurt so much. Just hang in there, it will get better!!

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Give it time , you are lucky that you and your child have each other , a bad love is zero

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Focus on your daughter!!! Focus on you!!! Figure stuff out 1 at a time that way u don’t overwhelm yourself

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What timing! What an ass… breathe. It hurts and your not the only one this has happened too. Breathe. One thing at a time.
Distractions are good. Seek out counseling and lean on your support system. If you don’t have a system of support, build one…
try to get some sleep… make sure you are eating.

I went through something similar. Oddly, I’m the breadwinner and had quit working. It’s my house but I had no one except him to help. Lordy it’s been a challenge to balance my feelings with his immaturity. Do what is best for you sweetie… listen to all the great advice and soak up the strength on this page!

I’m a mom of four and I’m about to be single for the first time in 12 years. I’m
Right there with you. :sob:

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Take the opportunity to crocus on your daughter and yourself more. Do activities with eachother that better yourself and connect you with your community. Fall in love with yourself again. My heart goes out to you mama. This won’t be easy but will be worth it xo

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Right after having a baby is a trying time in both of our lives, try counseling before you both walk away. If he’s not willing to do counseling, then you have to walk away yourself.

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It will hurt. It will make you stronger. You need time to process. Nothing you do or say can ever change how someone feels . Sometimes not even we can always know how we feel

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Get you a body pillow to cuddle with

It takes time but you have to keep moving for yourself and your baby and that helps. Focus on finding your happiness again with your little one and before you know it you’ll be over him and in a better place.

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My husband and I have been together almost a decade. Friends for 16 years. He told me yesterday he doesn’t love me like he used to. So I get it. I cried on my bathroom floor for hours last night. But I’m not going to let it screw with me. I know my worth. I know I have always been good to him and never cheated. So he can shove that right up his ass with no lube.

Let him go. You don’t want to be with a man who says he doesn’t love you. You deserve better.

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You just had baby and he broke up with you? Is this his baby? Make sure you get child support.

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Have you asked him if he’s willing to try marriage/couples counseling before you two go separate ways? Or even while y’all live in separate houses? My husband & I have been together 5 years & split 3 times for 2-3 months each time. This time we’re sick of each other, we’re trying marriage counseling. We start next month. If that doesn’t work then get a divorce if you’re married to him or just stay apart.

For one thing sweetie, you didn’t lose him, he lost you, and after 8 years he could break it off just like that, he was never really there 4U, carry on and if he decides to come back, you should do the best thing 4U and your kids…don’t take him back, you can always find someone who is willing to love U and your children unconditionally…be strong …JDL

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This is happening to me now at the mo also 3 year relationship

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You will get over it, just takes time. Dont be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you

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I just lost an 8 year relationship too. It’s not easy, and it wont be for a while. For me, I stay busy during the day and once everything I need to do is done, I allow myself to feel those feelings. Anger, sadness, loneliness, more anger…etc. you have to feel it. You must allow it to happen and accept it. Nights are so hard. My dreams are soooooo messed up and probably will be for a while. Just keep going. Write things down, draw a picture, write a poem, write just random words that make no sence. Do an activity that he never liked doing, that u enjoy.
It’s hard…but us women are so so so strong. You have a village of ladies behind you, cheering you on. Vent whenever u must, cry, yell…dont hold it in. It does get easier. I promise.

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You just have to go through it and one day itll just be ok. cry when you need to cry, talk to you family/friends, reach out, try to stay busy. Also try to enjoy yourself when you can, go to lunch with a friend, take bubble baths, watch your fav tv shows, have a girls night out or even just a friend over. It will be ok. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you so let his ass go. It just wasn’t meant to be. You’ll be ok

Honey turn to Jesus and lean on him he will take away all the loneliness and hurt you fill that’s how I made it through I will pray you get thru it to god bless you

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2 years ago, my husband walked out to camping and didn’t come home. I had a step daughter of that relationship , we had been together since she was 18 months and 11 years togetger in total since i was 17…
I know how you feel. But you’ll get through it.

I know have a loving fiance and 6 year step daughter and life couldn’t be nicer

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Take this time to do you. Your little girl needs a happy mommy. It will be hard but years from now it won’t matter at all. Pamper yourself.

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Time angel. Only time.

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Kick him to the curb

Do not contact him unless that’s his daughter then keep it only about the child slowly but surely you will get through it go to the gym go with friends take care of yourself focus on yourself the mind is everything right now feel feelings of sadness but don’t let it consume you there’s a bright side in your almost there

Do something like change your comforter, or color of your bedroom. Buy a small piece of furniture or decor that you don’t really “need”.
Do something for yourself. Make a mantra. A quick sentence you can repeat quickly. Something like “a storm always stops” When you start thinking about him, something you could’ve did or said different, repeat it over and over.
This too will pass!

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You guys can be parents and not be with each other. Oh and get child support.

Some men cant handle responsibility . I was with my SO for about 6 yrs before we had our first child and by her first birthday he was out partying all the time and just not being a good partner or parent. We split twice for a bit and now have another child.
After over years id finally had enough . It isnt easy and its lonely and its hard but its better than being with someone who doesnt appreciate you or who isnt carrying their weight as a parent .

My advice is leave him be . Dont be the one to keep his relationship going with the kids. Let him do that
It will save you a lot of stress. Bc if he doesnt do it on his own, he will stop as soon as youve had.enough.
Focus on you and your kids and move on from him. Dont look back

I mean my son was in a relationship with his girlfriend for 7+ yrs, and they got married and then they split up 6 months later. She had an affair 2 months after they got married, and then they bought a house, he didnt know of her infidelity at the time. She used her parents for the wedding then cheated a couple months later!

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This is sad. It’s going to take time for you to get through this. I would advise you to get into counseling. I’m so sorry. Breakups and divorce suck. :pensive:

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I’ve recently split up with my ex partner of 6 years… i know the feelings you’re going through. It does get better with time.
Please bare in mind, there are blessing in disguise many times… you’ll look back and it will make sense. Trust me xx

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Therapy! You need to see a therapist to help put your life in perspective. It can feel like you are alone & unworthy of love. That’s just not true. I wish peace & happiness for you. Your not alone and WILL overcome this :heart:

yes therapy, But also think of it this way, Would you really want him to stay just because…you love him,? Or have him being honest & leave, even if it hurts a lot. At some point you will be grateful that he left you. Also keep a journal Everyday just write down things that he said or did, good & bad, How you feel that day Don’t reread it, just write, close it up & walk away, Next day write some more of whatever you are feeling, & then one day you will realize you haven’t written in a while, Take it out & start from the beginning

Its hard to stay strong when your heart is broken. My advice eat a tub of your favorite ice cream have a spa day. Your beautiful look what you brought into this world. This to will pass. Remember that song. If only you were a better man

Take your week to cry, pound your fist asking why. Then realize who you are, how strong you need to be, and what your worth. Then live your life how you want, put you and your childs happiness above all. You’ll make it.

Before he told you he wasn’t in love you were happy ? That’s because you can never really know if LOVE is 100% reciprocated , that said it was the love you were giving that made you happy and being in a relationship , therefore you are capable of loving again and have lots to give and hopefully make someone really happy in their love they give you , this is what you deserve my love xxx

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People can certainly surprise you, and a sudden break-up is something that can really rock your world, coming out of left field, when you thought things were good! There must be a reason, and they owe you that. Still, if the door slams shut, you have to move on!

Yes time only time so pick yourself up and get out to places with your beautiful daughter get some good movies to see at home do things in your home you always wanted maybe the garden pots some lovely plants YouCan Do This i did after 17 years hurt like hell and we had 3 children we are all fine xo

Some very smart, wise ladies you have rooting for you. Heart ache is the worst. They are all so right. Don’t allow your mind to just focus on him. Try to focus on you and the baby. He’s gone you can’t control that. But you can control everything else around you. Watch what you listen to or watch. For a few weeks happy stuff. Nothing sad. Journal idea is great! Don’t read it. Just let it out and let it go. I always pray. God seems to be the best comforter of all. Time. As hard as that is. In that you will find peace and look back and be amazed at yourself. How you can make it threw anything else really. It does seem to make you stronger. Good luck doll. :heart:

Well you have recieved alot of good advise and I agree with most of it. I will just add that time really is a good healer. Don’t go jump into another relationship to feel better. The chances are good that you will end up hurting the new person because you are not over the last. I also agree that you need to take care of yourself legally. Get child support. I wish you all the best. I hope your heart heals and you find someone new and better.

I worked night for 1st year - so I’m was completely exhausted. It’s been 5 years , everyone says it be a new normal but it’s hard honey -
I’ve tried writing,reading at night but still just long quite at night - best of luck
I have 3 children- after their down it’s Tv , or Facebook-
5 years now -
Don’t go back , I did just broke my heart more-

Just keep praying and reach out for any help available, put his name on Birth Certificate and stick him for child support.Myself and millions of other women have been Single Mom’s ,you can too.God Bless you

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Hang out with friends and family and people that make you feel loved. Keep yourself busy. You have a child and that should be your main focus. You will make it. Remember you don’t have to have a man to be happy and have a good life. I wouldn’t want anyone that didn’t want me…period.

Jesus …celebrate recovery best thing ive ever done for myself my kids you find love there and forever family and friends theres 2 every night of the week 6pm feed you dinner 7 praise and teaching 8 all woman classes and men classes the kids have there own thing to its glorious i know it doesn’t feel good now …but later you too will realize just because nothing really wrong ever occurred doesn’t mean it was love or the right relationship for you trust me when i say this is a hidden blessing and gods got a plan and something way better for your life :kissing_heart::pray: have faith and let god have this

We can only control ourselves. Starting over is hard. It just is. However, in time new life brings new love, new interests and new friends. There will be sad and lonely days, yes. But there will also be exciting new memories too. Focus on the things and people you love. Time will take care of the rest.

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Snap out of it, you existed before you met and you will pick your self up, dust yourself off live for your child, start a new life. I did it almost 35 yrs ago, with 2 kids. Life goes on, learn and become stronger, You will live and thrive.

Think of your little girl as a gift from God as a way to help you through this time. Then see a lawyer to establish visitation and child support. He may not be interested, but your child deserves it.

Seek God for comfort and understanding!
He will sustain you and guide you!
Depend on him not on peoples understanding because everyone opinions are not going to be in your best interest.
Prayers going your way!

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Everyone on here is giving you great opions advice I would say the same. So now be good to your baby and your self and start your new life.

Sounds like you got a good early heads up! Shame on him, be strong…! I did!

Be around people who love yu… Having a man doesnt define yu or who yu are. Stay strong for yu and yur daughter. Yull come come around know that its ok to not have a man around.

Why are you stressing over someone who clearly said he doesn’t love you? He’s probably already talking to someone else. Forget about him

Look in the mirror, it’s all right in front of you. Love yourself 1st.

You can’t make someone love you, you’ll find someone better.

Time…time will help the pain go away.

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Be sure go for child support, well rid of him.
Only a loser would leave a pregnant partner,