My partner will not let me have a sleepover...advice?

I came on here to ask for opinions. More like a question. Is it controlling for my partner to not let me sleep over with his sisters and a few friends for my bachelorette party next month?

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Partners shouldn’t be responsible for ‘letting you’ do anything.

They can communicate their worries about a choice you want, but ultimately it’s your decision to do what you want, when you want.

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You should take some time to think about how you feel in this moment and then think back to other moments that you also felt like this. Like something seems off. Those are silent alarms love. It’s not too late. It’s never too late to leave. Learn to love the sound your feet make walking away from things that aren’t meant for you. Best of luck

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“Let you” :laughing:… Lady, read that part again!

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That screams trust issues. He’s afraid you’ll be unfaithful or dishonest at you bachelorette party. His sisters will be there! Lol

I dont do the.
LET me thing…my hubby, isn’t my daddy, isn’t my boss…we discuss and go from there…we are partners not co owners of each other.

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100% yes. Run. Seriously run.

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That’s crazy why he care if his sisters and your friends sleepover. What’s his plans for his party

Marriage is a a contract like it or not and right before your about to sign it he’s not just pointing to some “fine print”, he’s actually changing the terms of the contract to resemble 1950’s style patriarchy, perhaps you should present a modern “counteroffer” before you sign on the dotted line

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Yes, your an adult, you can do what you want, he has no right to tell you what you can or can’t do, that’s a huge red flag

My advice go to the sleepover n don’t look back🤣. Ive been single a long time u prob shouldn’t listen to me. But yes controlling for sure😬

Very controlling. I’m married and we have small children. I still go and have sleepovers :woman_shrugging:t3:

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We definitely can’t be getting the whole story lol. What reason did he say makes him feel weird? What’s yalls past? What’s he doing for his? You have kids that need you more than a sleepover?
It’s not always about him being controlling. lol

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You said he won’t let you, you already know he’s controlling, it will only get worse…

It is very much. Please do not marry him. If he is that concerned about you being around his sisters and friends for one night, then he has some serious issues.

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Take a little trip away with the girls See how things go

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Ew. Welcome to the rest of your life! You still have time to rethink this.

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My girls and I went to dinner, had a night at the casino and then stayed the night at the casinos hotel and then went to breakfast. My husband was just glad we had fun. Him and his guys had fun at his bachelor party as well. Neither of us were worried about what there did, vc we trust each other. If there is no trust, you may want to rethink this whole thing. However we don’t know the reason behind the no trust. If there’s a legitimate reason, seek counseling first. If not, you may want to just run, before you make a mistake.

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Girl
run fast run far
Don’t even look back
Dodge that bullet
While you still can

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Is he having a bachelors party? I’d say he is. So it’s okay for him but not you? And even if he isn’t having one he’s being too controlling.

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Very controlling. A bachelorette party is 200% all about the girls night & that’s including a sleepover. He isn’t your daddy :woozy_face:can’t tell you no

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Weird. I’m married went out for a friend’s hens night stayed at the hotel with them as well.

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I be asking myself why I’d want to marry a person who didn’t trust me enough to spend night away to have fun especially if his and your family was present. I’m off on hols for 5 days in May abroad. First time ill have left my kids in 20 yrs. My hubby regularly goes on motorbike weekends away. Its healthy to have a break etc

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Might as well rent a place and have a sleepover elsewhere then​:joy::tipping_hand_woman:t2::tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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Just the part that says, “Will not Let me” speaks Volumes in control…C’mon now…Seriously :flushed:

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Run, don’t walk, find someone else! You don’t need a man to say “ he won’t let you do something who would want to live like that?

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It’s controlling as hell.

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Yes. It’s controlling so go out for the entire evening, at a strip club and come home the next day. Then, for the next few days talk about all the fun you had. He’ll rethink about controlling. If he is controlling now, you’ll be sorry when you marry him. Spots on a leopard don’t change. AND don’t try to change him. That’s even worse.

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Big red flag. Controlling. Run save yourself. It’ll get worse after you’re married.

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Ehh yes. Major red flag. Do not marry!!

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Don’t marry this person. I’m serious.

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I’d be asking myself if I want to marry someone who is controlling and what does my future.hold if I cant enjoy the celebrations for me

Will not let you :person_facepalming: BOY BYEEEE

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“Letting you” … girl go to that sleepover and don’t go home. F all that

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Mm yeah, he doesn’t trust you either cuz he is gulty of something similar or he wants to show you he’s in control. Either or, you better figure it out real soon.

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He is your future husband not your dad. Spouses have no say so as to what you should and shouldn’t do. Your grown. If he does this now wait until after your married. He will completely tell you every move you can make. These type of guys are narcissistic and it’s best to stay away from them. If you ever want to be happy and yourself that is.

You’re an adult you don’t need him to ‘let you’. You should explain why you want to stay out. I’d prefer my partner to agree with me staying out but I’d still go if he told me not too it’s not up to him. If I had very young kids at home I’d go home so he has help with them but if they are older then I’d stay out and be back in time for breakfast if the girls night was ending in a sleep over for everyone.

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Your not even married yet he is controlling you?

If my fiance went out for his bachelor night and didn’t come home even if he said he was going to stay at his brothers,I wouldn’t be happy one bit,no reason not to come home after it,it’s called respecting your partner and honestly if you don’t want to go home that night then I reckon yous have something plan like a last fling

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No one is going to tell me what I can and CAN’T do. :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: run while you can.

Yes that’s weird. And let you? It’s not up to him.

Not “let” you? :triangular_flag_on_post: He is not your boss and you are not his property.
It’s not too late to call off the wedding.

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You know when you’re driving down the road and you see someone frantically waving a caution flag because there’s danger ahead? How foolish and unwise would it be to keep driving as though you had not seen the flag?
This is a big red frantically waving flag. You need to slow way down, and probably come to a complete stop.

He won’t LET you? Nooo, you’re a grows ass adult, who is he to allow you, to not allow you, to let you and not let you? He isn’t your parent. I would not marry this man if I were you.

Why doesn’t he want you too? That’s crazy

Are you his partner or his child??? I would seriously question why you are with this “man”.

So if he’s starting that now it’ll just get worse over the yrs bye bye time

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You already know the answer to this. Best of luck❤️

:laughing: mine would let me but also wouldn’t like it at the same time considering how we are as individuals we wild put us all together

It is controlling, go to the sleep over and tell him to pound sand.

You better think twice before you marry him. It will get a lot worse after you’re married.

If this is a thing, this can’t be the only red flag. I would really assess this- is it more than him “letting” you have a sleepover. What else aren’t you “allowed” to do?

No, it’s not normal honey. It’s kind of laughable that I would ask my husband other than for the pure respect of hey do you have anything going on etc?

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Controlling. Think about this before marriage.

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He’s not your parent! That is insanely controlling and it’s bound to get worse once you get married. Pack your bags for the sleepover and never come back.

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Get running have ye party and leg him xxx

Are you an adult or a child. I’m sorry. You are your own person. I’d say. I’m going to the sleep over. There’s food in fridge. Have a good evening.

Leave and do it fast! That ring is going to be a hand cuff

Yikes. That alone screams red flags! I’d think long and hard about your next steps, if he is like this already. Its a sign of what’s to come 10 fold.

That’s very controlling.I think you should really think about this.If he’s not going to let you do this,what’s it really going to be like when you’re married?

Taking off to Nashville for 3 nights for my besties Bachelorette. It’s not controlling depending how it’s said and why. However adult sleep overs need to be normalized again :joy::rofl:

:joy::joy: my soon to be husband is 64 and I’m 43. Wedding this year. We live across the street from the Casino/Hotel. Both of us are having bach/Bachelorette parties and will probably end up stuck and passed out​:joy::joy:. Girllllllll if that man on your head right now he’s gonna stay on your head even after Nuptials. Not saying run as we don’t get to decide your status… But Please put your own foot down in regards to the control…

Yes he doesn’t get to tell you what you can do.

Speak to him and tell him you feel this way. Your spouse should never try to control you. I left my ex for many reasons, and this was one of them. My current spouse of 10 years would be like here take my card!!!

I have 2 children with someone who controlled my every move. I thought it was normal. Fast forward to now I’m in a new relationship and my boyfriend will stay home with my children (not his biologically) just so I can have some time to myself without hesitation. It will only get worse if he’s already mad you want to be around his family…

Time to do some soul searching and decide if you want to live the rest of your life like that.

First off u need to rethink things if he “will not let you” your a grown adult and can make your own choices I’d still stay the night if it were me

One weekend my best friend and I decided to have a girls weekend. We told our husbands and got everything arranged. My husband, my son, her husband, and her two boys stayed at her house for the weekend. My best friend, my two girls, and I stayed at my house for the weekend. There was maybe a few phone calls between spouses, but no other contact between houses. Everyone at my house had a blast. Everyone at her house worked for the weekend. Cleared the driveway from grass and dirt, cleaned the house, did yard work. The husbands decided that was the best thing to do that weekend. :rofl:

What’s his reason for not “letting” you?

He won’t let you?
Huge red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

You shouldn’t have to use the phrase “my partner will not let me” in a healthy relationship….

Stop it right now. He has no right to tell you what you can or cannot do. Does he not trust you or does he have to be in control. Either way talk to him about it and have a good time.

And you wanna marry that man? :face_with_peeking_eye:

Already trying to tell you what to do!! :triangular_flag_on_post:

You’re adults. He’s not your father. He doesn’t get to “let you” do anything.

Let you? Where is the red flag guy when you need him

Red flag moment, go with your gut otherwise you will seriously regret x

This is a red flag. If you’re to the point of almost married then you’ve probably been ignoring red flags to this point. You made this post looking for affirmation because your instincts are screaming at you. Listen to your instincts. Don’t ignore the red flags. It only gets worse with time and tolerance.

Depends babygirl definitely depends lol

And your not even married yet!!! No way would i allow this to happen x it is controlling x once married what else will he say you cannot do!! I would def find out what your marrying x he is meant to be a partner not a parent and you are not a child

Anytime your partner says no is control,the only exceptions are things that with affect both of you for example shared finances and large purchases.if you have to ask permission to do anything you have submitted to the control.

Anything with the word “let me” should send you running for the hills! :grimacing:

“Let” lmfao You mean your single party? The escapes that bs party? Don’t marry someone that tells you what you can or can’t do then in 6months come talking about advise bc now he beats you… don’t ignore this

I would ask if this is what I’m willing to tolerate the rest of my life before marrying him. Has he always tried to control what you do? Will it possibly get worse once married, especially if he won’t even let you stay a night with HIS sisters?

“Not let you” :face_with_raised_eyebrow::thinking: I’m sorry, I don’t understand this terminology!

……let you??? He isn’t the boss of you

if he’s doing this now, how bad will it be after y’all get married… holy hell no

He sounds insecure, immature & controlling. This is not a good sign.

Since when do you need to ask permission? Inform him out of courtesy but he isnt your boss

My husband drops me off and loves it I go out with girls and my bachelorette party we went supper bars and stayed at friends so yes controlling and he don’t trust u apparently

You’re a grown ass woman - you don’t have to be given permission

If he don’t trust you with his sistres you don’t need to married him