My partner’s ex always contact him about their son for him to be part with and want him to pick him up every weekend, but for me, she has a bad attitude and she also married, every time she rings him she is always trying to control him like they still together but not through my head Thoughts??
He is a father FIRST. I don’t see how her wanting him to take his child on the weekend is controlling. Is there anymore info as far as the controlling goes?
You should be happy that he spends time with his child, and isn’t a deadbeat.
Her bad attitude may be because she is frustrated with the situation. Constantly having to remind your ex to take their kid for a few days can be very upsetting. He knows the deal.
Her being remarried has nothing to do with the situation, unless the father is wanting to relinquish his parental rights. Maybe you need to discuss with him how he see the situation and what he wants to do going forward.
You should be supportive and encourage him to spend time with his child if that is what he wants. This will take pressure off of everyone.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partners ex still tries to control him: Advice?
So, the mother of his child, calls and asks for him be a part of things that involve his child and she wants him to pick him up on the weekend? Did I read that right? What a total and complete bitch to want her baby’s father to be a part of his life …(p.s. that was sarcasm) You should either accept that he has a child with someone else or leave him be.
So because your partner’s ex is calling about their son together, you are thinking what!?
Get over yourself. They have a Kid together. Sounds like you have your own issues to work out
Your partner needs to be the one to deal with this issue. Maybe he doesn’t think he is being controlled … some people don’t until others point out the obvious signs. Try talking to HIM first calm and rationally. The ball’s in his court now
Stay out of it. You married a guy with a kid. You signed up for this.
just because she remarried doesn’t mean the child’s FATHER doesn’t deserve to be around or apart of things in his life & he SHOULD be apart of them so if that’s “controlling” then you need to honestly grow up or don’t be with someone who has kids.
Do you not like kids? Sorry… you should have thought of that before you hooked up with him.
I’m not exactly sure what you mean. How is her calling controlling him? But I say let him deal with it. They have a kid together so he has to deal with her and whatever issues she is causing.
So she’s trying to control him by wanting him to spend time with their kid? At least when she contacts him it’s only about their kid. That’s not control. That’s wanting him to be a dad and he should be one. If you have a problem with her wanting him to be a dad then maybe dating someone with a child isn’t for you.
This woman will be in his life forever if they have a child together…
Hopefully he sees through you and ditches you before you complicate his relationship with his child.
You should encourage a healthy relationship between the father and mother of that child…if you have his best interests at heart. And it sounds like you DO NOT!
You sound bitter. They have a child together. If she wants him to pick up his child, you need to stay the hell out of it.
I think she’s trying to say , everything has to go her way ? Maybe even if he can’t do something she forces stuff on him… I don’t it bothers her if it has to do with kid I think it’s just the way bbymama ask for something or idk… I don’t talk to my daughter’s dad I talk to his wife instead things just go smoother… Maybe word it correctly but I think I know what your saying maybe she’s hard to deal with ?
Im confused…because your partners ex calls about HIS son and want her childs father to see him on the regular you have an issue? They have a kid together the dad has a right to know whats going on in his life i think its good the mum keeps him updated i do with my ex about our 4.not because i want him back or because i feel like chatting but because i feel he has a right to know whsts going on and for her to want the kid on weekends whats the problem with that?
She never let him go maybe he’s the one that got away childcare n child welfare is different control is another thing
She’s Remarried and shouldn’t be a smart elic to you! I talked to my sons stepmom instead of his dad! It’s not hard to communicate the right way. Sorry but those people giving you a negative comment obviously hasn’t been in that type of situation! She shouldn’t be trying control our husband especially if she’s got her own life. He needs to set his own boundaries and tell her what You feel
What does she do that’s so controlling and why does your man allow her to control him? Nothing u said shows control. The way its worded seems u have the issue with him being around his kid. So what exactly does she do to control your man?!
Lmfaooooo thats called BEING A PARENT. Get over yourself.
Is anyone else confused? Am I missing something? I’m still trying to hear what she does that’s controlling.
I’m confused. All thats in this is her contacting him for his weekend visitations. Nothing in this yells controlling.
If he is court ordered to have weekends, get over it. Even if it wasnt court ordered the parent should attempt to be there. There’s nothing wrong with coparenting
They have a kid together so she has the right to contact him. Me and my ex husband have 3 girls together and no matter who he is with I will continue to call him about his kids. You got with a man that has a kid already, unless she is being degrading to you or trying to tell him what to do then there is nothing wrong with what’s happening here. He is a parent first!
U need counseling grow the fuck up
Need more inside… this is very vague.
Sometimes I wish OP would come back and explain more. How is she controlling him by expecting him to be part of his child’s life? And wanting him to do transport of the child is also not considered controlling. So I guess I’m confused. This just sounds like jealousy on OP’s part.
I feel like this post is a little vague. Maybe explain what you meen by trying to control him?
so the only thimg your complaining about is the fact shes ways calling about thier son and for him to pick him up…seriously…you sound biter and jealous, how is she controling him by having him pick up his son???
Your post doesn’t describe her controlling him. You’re mad she calls him to be part of his kids life & to pick him up? Why in the world would you be mad? You expect your bf to ignore his son?
So shes trying to get him to see his kid and that’s controlling? I think you need help.
Let that person be with his child!!!
So you’re mad that she’s contacting him about their son?
Sounds like jealousy
His child comes before you! HIS CHILD COMES BEFORE YOU! He was here before you and he will be around long after you’re gone. You sound like the new horrible bitter girlfriend and he shouldn’t need your approval or permission to speak with his ex or to go get his kid 7 days a week. It’s not controlling, it’s called parenting. Sounds more like you need to grow up.
Iam sorry iam dont understand this ? Only part is she complaining because his ex contac him about there son. I dont think its a cotrolling issue i think its more of making sure their son is taking care of correctly n maybe she telling him what he needs o what he dont
Ok sweetie, she has to contact him about their kid. If she’s married to someone else, I doubt she wants your man. Please reconsider dating men with kids if you cant handle the mother of his kids.
Confused are you complaining because he gets his kid every weekend. If he doesn’t see them through out the week then he should. That’s not control it’s called being a parent
You are sounding very selfish and uncaring toward your guy’s child. Grow up the ex is just trying to communicate the child’s father nothing more. Parents who are not together need to communicate for the child’s sake. To me it sound’s like you are trying to control your boyfriend by not allowing communication with the mother of his child. If a guy puts you before his child then he is a lousy father.
Get off your high horse and accept he has a child. He should be in his child’s life and should be seeing his child as much as possible. You sound jealous and childish. Please find yourself a boy because with your attitude, you don’t deserve a man who is actually stepping up to be a father.
His kid comes before you.if you think that’s controlling there’s something wrong with you.
Ughh i know you hate this.but you have to find a good way for you to deal with it, because she will be in his life until the child is grown, at least. A lot of women use their kids to control situations.its sad but not much you can do.
OR maybe you can be a grown up and get to know the mother of his son. Never hurts to sit and have a conversation with her. She might like that and you might end up being friends. Sometimes mothers get afraid when another woman is near her kid. She don’t know you and might want to check on her son to know he is ok around you. Dont blame her for that. I would be somewhat nervous too. Just try to make friends with her.
Can you explain further.? Because from what you are saying she doesn’t sound controlling it just sounds like you don’t want him to have his son every weekend. Married or not she is still going to be in contact with her sons father and they are still going to talk and you need to accept that.
Lol so you’re a jealous girlfriend who would rather a man have nothing to do with his kids lol please grow up before getting involved with men that have kids.
She’s married and contacting the ex to get him to see his kid…? I don’t see the problem…?
A mother is allowed to contact her child’s father regarding their child regardless of what anyone else’s opinion about it is.
When she starts dictating y’all relationship or demanding unreasonable things from him, that’s when you have an issue.
those are certainly all words
I may need more info, but what it sounds like this other woman is just trying to keep him in their child’s life. I am married and have kids with my ex husband. I contact him to spend time with his boys and let him know how they are doing. It’s called co parenting. It’s hard and complicated but if he had kids prior to being with you then you knew he what you were signing up for. Kids come first… always. If you cannot handle it then it’s best for you to find someone else. Try talking to the mom and get to know her. If you love him you need to get along with her. My ex husbands new girlfriend was upset with me at first because me and my ex talked to each other about the kids. She thought it was inappropriate, but luckily my loving husband stepped in and said something. It’s not inappropriate for ex’s to talk if they have kids together as long as it’s about the kids. You have to put kids first and show them that we all willing to work together for them.
She probably has a bad attitude because your man is inconsistent with their child and it’s annoying. I’m in the same boat. Maybe instead of supporting dead beat behavior you should encourage him to be more involved with their child just a thought. If she went off and got married and everything, she’s moved on. She doesn’t want your man. She wants him to be a CONSISTENT FATHER. It has nothing to do with “controlling him” when all she’s doing is expecting him to do what he should be doing.
Not to be rude BUT
you chose to be with a man with kids.
Sounds to me like she is trying to COPARENT.
They will always be tied together because they have kids. Yes, even after they turn 18.
You need to accept that you are with a man with KIDS and NEEDS to coparent.
Everyone is jumping on this lady but I think her broken English made it so what she was trying to say didn’t come out right. Pretty sure what she’s trying to say is that when the ex calls about picking up the kid, she’s rude and controlling. I really don’t think she has a problem with him seeing his kid, she has a problem with how the ex treats her boyfriend.
You sound like a peach… sounds like she wants him involved with their child… and you would rather him a deadbeat…
It kind of sounds like you wish he would just drop his child…
So you basically don’t want him around his child because his ex calls him abt his child ?
Whether she was married or not it’s your boyfriend responsibility not her husband. Women like you that think this way is a problem. I for one will never date a man that doesn’t take care of his children and be in their lives. You are supposed to be pushing him to always be consistent with his son. If roles was reversed you telling me that you would not be calling your sons father to be in his life and do his part??? Sit, dig deep and find growth. This is Grown Women Business and obviously you ain apart of the club.
So she’s controlling him because she’s calling him regarding their child and asking him to pick their child up every weekend? Is it that you’re mad he has his child too much? If that’s the case that’s absolutely ridiculous. That’s his child and he should be spending time with him and you shouldn’t be upset over that. I’m married and I talk to my ex all the time regarding our daughter. It’s called coparenting.
How dare she want him to be involved with their son
sorry but YOU ARE WRONG in your thinking! It seems by your question that you are a tad bit insecure in your relationship…why would you even ask such an ignorant question? INSECURE thats why! Seems to me you dont give 2 fucks about the dad and sons relationship only you and the dads relationship! Get over yourself sweetiepie!
and btw THE DAD SHOULD LEAVE YOUR IMMATURE ASS!!!
U think its controlling because he ain’t being in his kids life and she’s trying to get him to be??? Wowwwww
You didn’t really give us much information to help you. From what you did give us. You should definitely step back and not interfere with his relationship with his child. & Just because a mom is calling and trying to keep a bond with her baby daddy and child, doesn’t mean she wants him back. I think you’re suffering from jealousy and that’s ok it happens to the best of us. But yeah you should definitely calm down and try to think rational.
So does he not want to be dad?
Why would he not want to spend every weekend with his son?
It really depends what she’s ringing for. I mean my partners ex rings because she wants him to come and change her light bulb, or hang a photo frame. literally, nothing to do with the children. She even rang him once to have a go at him because he was dating some whore with big tits, who he’s never allowed to introduce to his children, referring to me, while we were on a date, without having ever met me or even knowing anything about me. 3 years later, we are still together, we have a baby, she’s on her 15th guy since they split and she’s having a paddy because he won’t drop everything to drive 30miles and change a light bulb for her. We have the children half the time, she spends her half the time bad mouthing us. I have a problem when she rings, if the children are hurt or it’s an emergency fine, but 1 having a splinter and not wanting to talk to him on the phone crying for his mum isn’t an emergency it’s something she should be dealing with, and then instead of dealing with it she asks can you do this when you pick them up, deal with your children for crying out loud. We don’t call her every time 1 falls over, its not needed, from 30 miles away what could either of them even do …
That awkward moment when the new gf complains about the ex being controlling when they’re the real controlling ones Sounds all too familiar
Well she is his child’s mother so like it or not she is there to stay. If she is only talking about their child not sure how she is trying to control him. They do have to communicate about drop off and pick up even if you don’t like it.
My husband’s ex is the same way. She used to control him because he didn’t have much custody. Now that the tables have turned some she still thinks she can control my husband… She knows that he will agree to whatever she wants because he doesn’t want to have to listen to her. That’s when I step in and stand up for him. She hates it, but I’m not afraid to stick up and say no. I honestly don’t ever see it getting better until the child can make his own decisions. I would just keep good communication between you and your significant other and make sure that your choices are the same before talking with the other parent. Good luck!
Oh hunny wanting someone to be involved with a child they helped create isn’t controlling
Also you chose to get with someone who has kids they have to talk to Co parent
How is any of what you said controlling? Either you’re leaving out some BIG details, or you’re just insecure.
Because from what little you did say, it looks like they CO-PARENT.
I’ve read this 3 times and still lost
You’re joking right? It’s his son. She has every right. You however need to sit down and know your place lmfao
You wanna be a good women ? you help make him spend time with his kids…that man has priorities. The kid over you,period. Make sure that kid has a present father and make memories when around. Make sure that kid needs for nothing and sacrifice if you have to. Be the kind of woman you would want if you were in her shoes.
Outside the child, she has no power other than who is around the child and parenting decisions/ ANY thing involving the child.
You make sure the kids taken care of …there shouldn’t be much to complain or control right?
The mother and father of the child need to learn to coparent healthily.
He has to be the one to set boundaries just because people have kids together doesn’t mean they have rights or say over their ex partners. They can only speak on their child’s behalf.
The girls here that think there baby dads are rightfully theirs because they have a kid and aren’t together can get out of here with that toxic crap.
Bahahaha! Robby Goolsby, the way our conversations go, I’m surprised anyone can decipher if we are joking or not!!
I have to question on whether she is controlling or if that’s just how they talk to each other. Some people are not the bitter baby mama or baby daddy… that’s just how they communicate sometimes. I’m sure if my ex was in a relationship, she would probably think the same thing.
Those are most baby mamas they love controlling the baby daddy’s and use the kid as a pawn…… a lot of those baby mamas are here too lmfao losers !
If this bother’s you so much you need to find a “partner” who doesn’t have children… just curious, I wonder what you meant by controlling him???
What’s with baby mamas and their mind games and bluddy controlling ways.Its so bad nowadays.
Well good that she’s wanting him to have HIS CHILD
It sounds like you don’t want him to see his son every weekend. Yes she has every right to call if she so pleases and tell his ass to
Get his mf son. Smh. You should’ve thought about this when you got into a relationship with someone who has kids.
Co-parenting isn’t always easy, but you can make it easier by thinking of what’s best for the child. If you always make that the priority, you won’t ever go wrong.
Put her in her place
She has a right to contact him about his son. Grow up.
Sounds like you are the one that needs too go.
I mean most dads get their kids on the weekends… I’m confused on if your issue is the ex calling or her wanting him to be part of his kids life ???
I messaged my ex husband yesterday about our sons arm and about him getting an award at school, as I do with any achievement worth noting and anything I deem important information.
I do it out of Respect for him as their father.
I also confirm his weekend with him when he makes his weekly phone call and I seek confirmation in regards to if he is having his kids for some school holidays…
Again it’s about Respecting him as their father and encouraging their relationship.
If his partner was to be jealous over that, then that is purely her problem. I won’t stop being a decent mother for someone else’s feelings.
A good woman would encourage her partner to be a good dad, see his children and understand with that comes communication with the kids mother.
This is life with kids and if you don’t like that, you will have to reconsider your dating preferences moving forward.
Let me get this straight… you’re upset because she is contacting him to have his child more? And are you sure she is controlling him? Or is she trying to communicate a schedule and rules for their child and make things easier in the long run for everyone?
If you can’t handle the fact your man has responsibilities for his kid and he does have to be in contact with the child’s mother maybe you shouldn’t be with him or a man who has kids period . I contact my kids father all the time when they wanna see him or if I need help with them and I should be able to without any problems. You sound insecure. Being a woman you should want a responsible man who’s involved with his kid or do you wanna deadbeat? What if you had kids with him and split up you wouldn’t contact him for the kids? Lol some females are ridiculous grow up!
Not enough information. Seems like you’re angry she’s trying to keep her child’s father in his life. You gave no examples of “controlling” him outside of expecting him to still be a parent to his own child.
I could see if she was trying to get back with him or wanting her “family” back and salty about him moving on and being with you. But in order to co parent one must have contact. I don’t understand the issue could you clarify
Whats wrong with him getting him EVERY weekend the child should spend the same amount of time with both parents?!
The best I can make out, and the only thing that makes sense to me is maybe he doesn’t have court ordered visitation EVERY weekend. But, the controlling comes in that baby mama calls and demands that baby daddy come get his son EVERY weekend. Baby daddy wants to see his son, so he just goes along with it. I could see getting a little upset if she was doing this every weekend. Baby mama would have every weekend to do stuff with her husband. GF would never be able to have a romantic weekend with Baby Daddy.
Maybe that’s what she considers controlling. Maybe BM, threaten s to not let BD see the kid if he doesn’t take him EVERY weekend.
You can’t fault GF from wanting to spend an occasional weekend without a kid around.
You can’t fault BD for wanting to see his kid.
Like I said, it only makes sense if BM is demanding he take the kid extra time just to keep BD and GF from spending time alone on the weekend.
There was not one bit of info on how she was “controlling” him. Sounds more like you have a problem with them communicating. She has every right to contact him, especially when it come to their kid.
You need to put your big girl undies on and grow tf up. They are co parenting. They will be communicating. They will forever be apart of each others life because the kid they have together. If that bothers so much, you need to leave and readjust your dating scope.
I don’t see where baby mama is being controlling. Sounds like she is communicating with the child’s father to make sure the child is still going for visitation. She has to do that to insure that she has the child available to him for pickup. If that’s what you mean by controlling, then you need to reevaluate your relationship with this man. He is going to be communicating with baby mama at least until the child is an adult. If that’s not something you can handle, then leave this man alone and find one without a child.
My ex husband and I are together and communicating all.the.time. He has a key to my house. I have a key to his. We have a daughter we co parent, together. I don’t give a rats ass if he’s with someone else, or they’re on a date, or in the middle of having sex … I got something to tell him about our daughter, I’m going to. Some girl thinks I’m bossy or controlling, shan’t be concerned
Its situational, my fiance’s ex and him are trying to co parent and were court ordered to communicate only through Talkingparents.com so that its court monitored. One day she had us call her because she thought her mom was filing against her and begging for his help. Turns out her mom wasnt filing and she used it as a way to get his new number. Now shes constantly trying to call or text him about random things that have nothing to do with their child. My fiance and I are both very uncomfortable about it but are trying to remain civil as long as she doesnt overstep. I want him to see his daughter and were working on a 50/50 custody agreement. But if you’re just upset because she contacts him to come get his child so he can have time with his baby that is… not the same thing and completely unnecessary.
How is she trying to control him?
Wtf she contacts him about their child? Stay in your lane or het off the road
Stay. In. Your. Lane.
Ask yourself this: wouldn’t you rather be in a relationship with a man who is good to his ex and an active, loving father?
I could say so much right now….
1: be appreciative he wants to be with his kid!
2: why are you crying over a man being a daddy?
3: the mother shouldn’t have the child 80/20 it should be 50/50 yet all y’all idiot girlfriends don’t want the dads to see their child more then just one weekend a month or 2 times a month!
4: girls like you are the reason mothers hate girlfriend of their ex’s they have children with!!!
Dads have a responsibility ! Because it’s an obligation !!!
Get your foot out of your ass and leave him before you start wanting all his attention away from his kid !!!
Kids come first girlfriends come second you best step back and recognize your place of position !!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partners ex still tries to control him: Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partners ex still tries to control him: Advice?
Reevaluate your man if he needs a reminder to pick up his kid every weekend I would be annoyed as a mother too if I had to call to remind a dude to be an active participating father. If you want him to be a good father to your future children I suggest you encourage those behaviors now with this woman instead of complaining about them because if you don’t work out guess who’s going to be in the same situation
This is really brief and short in description of controlling so hard to say she is doing anything but being a parent. And kind of seems like you may be a tad jealous over the situation. Be an adult talk to him and with the people needed. Not us. Honestly we can pump you up and make it worse than it may be and sometimes we get the advice needed and able to move forward…and people can be cruel with comments not knowing the full story…bottom line there are children and all adult parties should be on the same page and working together for the child’s best interest as well as their own… Best of luck though.