How can I get my prek child to go to school and not freak out? she hates being away from me and it has been a struggle and at this point i feel like i am hurting her and traumatizing her and feel sobad…
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Make sure you check all avenues to figure out why she doesn’t like it. My son hated going and come to find out he wasn’t being cared for properly causing him serious distress. If there’s nothing wrong then make sure you give it plenty time and only talk positively about school. Make drop offs short and sweet. No prolonged goodbyes etc. It will cause extra anxiety and hesitation.
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You are NOT hurting her !!! It’s absolutely normal for a little kid to not like school at the beginning but she will get use to it .
Hurting her will be NOT sending her
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My sons in kindergarten and the first 3 weeks of school were filled with LOTS of tears and kicking and screaming. He’s going on two weeks now of no crying and he’s actually starting to become excited. Give it time! Show her lots of shows about school and point out the teacher, the desks, students etc. it’ll take some time but she’ll come around
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Since pre k is really needed in most states home school her
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One of those times
All we can do is give them a kiss and a hug
And tell them
Mom will be here when school is finished
After school take your child to get a milk shake and praise her
For spending the day at school
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She will get used to it lol. Not kids really like leaving their mom but if you want to inch her in try daycare two -three dats a week
She might just not be ready, and that is okay. Prek is not a necessity, nor is it needed. You can do so much at home and within the community, together.
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My son was a delayed but only in motor skills, but socially, she he freaked out too .I mean, it was bad! We waited another year and tried again which delayed him for kindergarten but it ended up being what was best for him and he really thrived. The next time trying he didn’t cry at all, or for kindergarten. We had tried and tried, he freaked out before he was even there, we thought the bus at we took him, I even stayed with him the first day and left him 3 days with him crying and me feeling horrible. Not all kids are delayed though and it’s just normal anxiety, my son has developmental issues, but I’m just saying if he knowingly is delayed in things, check into it maybe. But usually most kids will be fine in a couple days
I strongly agree with Ashley Broussard check out the care he getting there maybe try another school
PreK is usually not mandatory. Does she have to go? Can she do it at a daycare/preschool center that may be a different environment? Can you work with her at home? She just may not be ready emotionally. IF you can manage the above alternatives then that would be great.
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There’s programs that are private schools and you chose how many days she goes and it’s only 3 hours. It helped my son prepare a ton for kindergarden. He went twice a week for 3 hours for a full year. Definitely recommend it.
Homeschool. Time4Learning-Families
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Children need time to adjust and learn that their school is also a safe space with safe people. Check that there are no issues occurring AT school that could be dealt with to make it easier but other than that, be positive, tell your little one you’ve got to go to work or where ever and that they have to go to school and have some fun playing and learning, and you’d like to hear all about it when you get back. Then go. There may be some tears and disruption for a little while but kids are very adaptive, they’ll be okay soon.
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My children never hated school until their were serious issue not being disclosed to me about the treatment of my child ! When I saw the behavior change I immediately pulled him out but still hurt because he now has fear he never had before and anger
When I was a child my pop took me to pre-school. I latched onto his leg and refused to let go because I was scared. So he taught me what I needed to know. Reading,writing, math. That was 30 years ago.
My kids also didn’t do pre k.
Ask teachers how long after you leave kid is crying before engaged in activities. My kids played me well on this.
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It takes time. All kids settle in differently. Starting out pre-k is a huge change, and it’s sort of scary for a kid. I felt awful about sending my kid when she hated going to pre-k. We stuck with it, and she finally decided that it was alright by the end of the school year. By kindergarten she had far more good days. And now she is absolutely stoked to go to school as a 1st grader.
The biggest issue she had with pre-k was the limited time to eat. They were doing half days, and she rode the bus after school to daycare. No actual time for lunch and the bus wouldn’t let them eat on board. Took awhile to realize that was the issue. Once that was addressed things got much better for her.
But it could just be something simple, is he missing you while he is there? Maybe he can have a little picture of you in his lunch box or wear something that reminds him of you? Like a friendship bracelet or something. Anytime he feels sad he can look at it 
It’ll get better mama.
My niece use to be the same way, absolutely hated going to school would cry and beg and do absolutely everything not to go. She would never say what the problem was well we ended up having to change her school and all of a sudden it was like she was a diff kid! Never had anymore problems going to school. It might be worth a try if your able to switch. And nothing else works
When my kids started day care we started with short amount of time and increased to full days worked really well they also suggest picking them when they are playing outside because they r in a good mood playing when they start realising your coming back it’ll be fine generally when they r too distressed the center will call u to pick them up otherwise they can handle it
Try sending a family picture or a small blanket with home smell things that she can touch and see when she’s having a break down. Some kids break down and act out more then others. You’re not hurting the her or traumatizing her. The reality of it is you and her both have to adjust to her being away from you. Just always reassure her you will be there when school lets out.
My twins are in first grade and we have had more days of them not wanting to leave mama then we did in kindergarten. But my babies are on the spectrum. You will have good days and bad days but as long as she is being cared for properly at her pre k class then she will adjust in her own time.
takes time if she’s always been stuck under you. that’s not healthy either.
It’s ok if shes not ready. Formal school that young can be stressful for some kids.
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My daughter did the same in pre-k she would scream and cry. I finically decided to keep her home a extra year with me and she only did the second year of pre-k once we moved. When we moved it all changed and now that she’s 9 she still remembers those two months of the first year of pre-k before I pulled her because she said the teacher was so mean to her. She couldn’t ever express that at the time but a few years later once she had amazing teachers for the second year of pre-k and then Kindergarten she started talking about the “the really mean teacher that mommy finally saved her from.” 
If you think there’s a reason like that she’s so upset then I say keep her home another year if your able. I was able and I absolutely loved that extra year I got with my baby girl. If your girl is just really a mamas girl and is having separation anxiety. The best thing I learned was to make each morning as happy and cheerful as possible and when you get to the school don’t make a big deal of it. Walk her to the door give a hug and look her in the eye and say “I’ll see you later. Mommy will be back soon!” As cheerful as possible. Most kids will only cry for a few minutes and then they do great. Then once the kids realize mommy always comes back for them the anxiety of being separated eases a lot of the time.
I had volunteered at my kids elementary for years so I see the separation anxiety over and over again. I promise you the teachers and volunteers do everything they can to cheer those little ones up and make sure they’re okay.
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Do you need them to go to school? Could they start with a few mornings? A playgroup with the same activities might be a better bet.
As a preschool teacher I can assure you that the first few weeks to month are the hardest. Once your kiddo gets used to it and realizes it’s a safe space and that you WILL be back for them, it gets sooo much easier. It was really hard for me leaving my son for preschool too. Now as a teacher I see that typically after 15 minutes (often less) the kids are usually over it and have moved on. It’s definitely easier when the parent gives hugs and kisses then hands the kids off to us. If you’re concerned about how she’s doing, you could always ask them to call/text/email you after breakfast or say 30 minutes into class or so and let you know how she’s doing. If she’s still extremely upset, maybe give them some pointers that usually help her. If she doesn’t have a family photo there or small lovie you can ask if she can bring one for a while. I know in our program we request them. Then she can have them at the beginning of the day to help her soothe herself, then once she’s ready to put them away, she can. Trust me though when I say that it’s traumatizing you more than her. Likely within a months time the years will stop, she may still be a bit clingy but 9 times out of 10 sites not even going to mention you after you are out of site, unless she’s talking about something in the classroom and you come up.
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Is it possible for her to stay home with you for another year. Truly they grow up fast and if she hates it that much maybe it would be better to wait. Do some play groups for socializing, libraries have wonderful resources. Homeschooling is a growing movement and there are a lot of resources out there for you. My daughter is homeschooling and it’s really worked out well for them.
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Do you feel it absolutely necessary for her to be in school? My children have never been in a school or daycare setting before kindergarten age and the transition to kindergarten has been so easy!
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My daughter was like that for a day. But then she saw things we had at home too and started playing there.
Just stick to it mama. It takes time but it does get easier!
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If she hates it now and is struggling to go away, I would keep sending her. She will most likely have the same feelings in kindergarten especially if you pull her out.
Keep sending her, a lot of kids play on the parents emotionally. Most are fine within a few mins.
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It’s new and she’s away from you totally normal both my girls went threw this. Drop off could be rough and was for easy a month. Big changes for little people. Time helps.
I would give it a full 90 days and then if it’s not improving reach out to the teacher and your pediatrician for a behavioral assessment and possibly consider pulling her, pre k is not legally required, and home preschool her along with maybe some play therapy and play groups this year.
It took my son 3 weeks… he is a kindergartner… after the first week of crying, fits, etc I had almost pulled him out to home school… I told myself I was going to give it a month and if it wasn’t any better then I’d pull him…
He has been in school for 6 weeks now && absolutely LOVES it! It gets better, just stay consistent!!
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Stay consistent with sending her. Likely if you pull her out it’ll make it worse once you send her back to kindergarten. Did her teacher say how she’s acting once you’re gone? If you don’t break the separation anxiety now it’s going to be harder to break it once she’s older.
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Have her make a friend. When kids have other kids to play with, they are more eager to do things with others vs just us (mom). Also join a sport like soccer so they can get use to be around and playing with other kids with you there with him during practice and game. Our 5 years old was the same way bit we learned these two things work with her.
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There are books like the kissing hand that might help.
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It’s separation anxiety, try helping em by helping to stay at school and normalize being there and little by little leave a lil earlier but play with the kids so she can see you play and it’s ok
I told my daughter…she doesn’t have a choice so there is no need to act that way. Sometimes, we have to do the stuff we don’t want to. If nothing is “wrong” that is.
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Is she 3 or pre-k makes a huge difference. If she is younger and you don’t need it pull her and find a play group where you can be there. And if prek try a few weeks and see if it changes. Or look for a different program. Difference preschools mave difference way of teaching. See what works for your child
My daughter bought a set of bracelets for her and her son who started prek. it comes with a little story about look at the bracelet and I look at mine type thing. I hope it helps him, we will know tomorrow.
Let her drop out and get her GED
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Maybe just not ready. My son has hated school since kindergartenand he is a senior this year and still feels the same way about school. I can’t really give you any advice other than to hang in there mama.
Drop ‘em off, drive away. My fifth grader still doesn’t like school because he gets bored. They’ll be ok lol
My kids hated school, eventually we quit doing public and started virtual, then now homeschooling. They like homeschooling best.
You may have to try making friends or do something special before school to help them want to go. Or if possible just virtual/homeschooling. (Parks for socializing and playdates)