Does anyone else have a pre teen daughter that doesn’t open up to you about a lot of stuff but will to her dad / girlfriend? Is it a bad thing if she doesn’t open up to me on stuff
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I was the same way growing up. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my mom it’s just I felt more comfortable talking to my dad. So don’t worry it’s probably nothing against you she just might feel more comfortable talking to her dad.
It means she dosent feel safe coming to you with her problems. Which means you have done something to express yourself to make her feel that way. Check your yourself and your reactions to her past situations or problems.
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Well are you uptight and hard to approach?
Could be a lot of things doll. If you usually react strongly to things when she’s in trouble she’s not going to feel safe going to you if she’s feeling fragile. I would weigh what kinds of things she isn’t coming to you with and consider finding someone specialized like a therapist if they’re things you feel may have deeper concerns
Sometimes step moms are looked at as a friend rather than a parent. It’s just how it is. All you can do is let her know your there for her. She will come to you more once she’s older
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This might just be me, but I’d just be glad she is talking to someone. Don’t push too hard, just let her know your available if she needs someone to talk to.
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Her dad’s girlfriend or her girlfriend?
As a step mom I think we get the privilege of being a bit more of a friend then mom can be I think that’s why it’s a little easier to talk to me about some stuff and mom others
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All you can do is let her know you are a safe space. And when she is ready if ever she will come to you. But be grateful she has someone. Also never a bad thing to think about your parenting and discipline and just do a check in with yourself. It blaming you but no one is perfect and I believe in doing a mental check in with myself.
I would just start by asking her why she doesn’t feel comfortable coming to you, but do it in a tactful manner and try not to approach it from a place of being defensive or hurt by it. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, but her dad might respond or handle things in a way that makes her feel more comfortable. Kids turnings to friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend and not a parent is pretty common, though. Just ask why and let her know that you are here for her and it’s safe for her to come to you. I know it can be difficult, but it may just be that you need to try a different approach when she opens up to you. I.e if she does something you don’t approve of, you may have to bite your tongue and offer help/a solution, rather than lecturing or getting upset/angry with her. (Not that you do, but just something to consider if you HAVE done that in the past)
All you can do is let her know when shes ready you are there for her. Dont push it and try not to be judgy - sometimes voicing your concerns comes off as being to critical.its going to be ok, she will open up when she feels comfortable all you can do is be patient. I didnt.open up to my mom until i was 18-19 because i didnt want to disappoint her.
Your reactions are maybe negative and not understanding… i cant think of another reason why she would do this … she’s opening up to someone though and that’s a bonus
Just let her know that you are always there if she needs to vent or cry or laugh!! She is a typical teen and she just feels more comfortable with dad being her shoulder right now. Don’t worry mama ! And don’t push it.
All that matters is she is opening up to someone.
Your daughter is probably looking at you more like the strict parent especially if she stays with you the majority of the time and if she does I’m sure her dad and step mom don’t have as many rules when she is with them. Also my ex told me he doesn’t discipline our son cuz he doesn’t want our son not to like him. Maybe your ex is the same. So she probably sees both of them more of friends than parents.
She might value u so much she doesn’t want to disrespect or upset you. Or she feels she can’t go to you…in which case is bad lol anyway I didn’t go to my mom cause she cried easily and i hated to disappoint her …so check on that with her
It can be - but it could also be as simple as she’s more at ease with her dad.
If she doesn’t go to you: ask her gently why - don’t make it about you. Listen to what she has to say. Maybe he cracks jokes while they talk, maybe he just listens without judgement. Maybe she doesn’t want to burden you bc she sees you stressed enough - you won’t know until you ask.
Either way, hug her more, tell her you love her, and maybe set aside one day a week to do something (this could be a hot chocolate at Starbucks for an hour while playing Uno- it’s about time together, chose something she finds fun).
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she may not trust you or simply just doesn’t want to share with you.
a lot of preteens will not open up with one parent who they feel overreacts to everything, is too strict/overbearing or simply can’t keep anything to themselves.
i wouldn’t push the issue. she may come around in time.
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Just let her know she can always come to you and talk to you about anything abd she won’t be in trouble if she really needs to confinde in you about something etx mother and daughter talk
Take her our for some girlie mother daughter time
Dinner or nails etc see if that helps
But also remeber certain ages that don’t open up and will go to other family members or friends in stead its nothing you’ve done that’s what teens do also mother/teen relationships change over the years again could be nothing you’ve done
Yes. From the age of about 12-16, my daughter and I did not get along. She ended up living with her dad full time. She was close with literally every other female family member but me. And that sucked but at least she had someone to go to. She’s 18 now and we’re doing better.
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Welcome to this stage in your life. All you can do is tell her, constantly, that you ARE there for her. * sigh. Yes, they do outgrow it. Keep talking to her.
As a mom we tend to react badly then our teenage doesn’t feel comfortable talking to us. We can’t say you can talk to be about anything then freak out