When I first moved in, I cleaned the apartment top to bottom, literally. I swept and mopped the stairs in the building. I tried keeping up on the housework but when someone comes behind you leaving messes, you kinda just give up.
I’ve been trying to move out but have no luck finding anything.
The reason I’m moving out is because this apartment is so nasty. Garbage everywhere, coffee spilled all over the place, and the fruit flies are horrendous. I cannot utilize the kitchen due to the flies.
She won’t take the garbage to the dumpster. She pulls it out of the bag and sits it in our hallway for weeks until the smell and fruitflies become unbearable and I eventually end up taking it down.
I have even started my own garbage that way I am not responsible for that one.
I’m not trying to be petty, I’m just so sick of it.
I feel like I should not have to pay $325 for a bedroom with no door, and to have to live in a nasty house.
Is there anything I can legally do? I’m not on the lease here but also never had to sign one to move in. And like I said, I’m looking for a different place but until then I have to live in these conditions.
Say you’re only gonna pay a certain amount unless she cleans
I would definitely make sure your roommate is just severely depressed. That could be a major factor in the mess and the just not caring she is displaying around the house. Or she could just be a slob. I’ve gone threw horrible depression and didn’t give a damn about anything. Even had to cut all my hair off from not brushing it out.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My roommate is living is squalor, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Not alot you can do. Go to women shelter
Can you not try and have a talk with your roommate about it, find out if there is an underlying issue why she won’t clean up after themselves
It sucks and it’s not ur mess but if u want a clean house your gonna have to do it. She got a roommate for a reason. Probably to much for her. Lord only knows what she going thru herself. Take the garbage out do dishes sweep mop. To let it go is bad on ur health also. Do what u gotta do until something else comes up. Ur health depends on it. If u can let it go and be comfortable then so be it but it will make u compromise ur health. Bugs and mice carry nasty diseases. She obviously has more issues than she tells u. When u moved in was it clean probably not so u kinda knew what u were up agaist. U want a clean heathly home to live in then take the extra slack. Ur health depends on it
That’s usually a sign of deep depression. It’s just that her nerves aren’t connecting right to do tasks. If she has behavior that shows she’s always trying to self-numb or soothe. There’s not much you can do but maybe have an conversation until you find something?
Fly strips or a swatter cost like a dollar. Have you talked to your friend?
Id tell her that if I am being used as a maid then that covers my rent. 
She could try to throw you out but if you get mail there she’d have to go through the courts to get you evicted which will give you a little more time to find something else. Im an honest person and sometimes ppl just need to hear the truth whether it hurts their feelings or not. It comes down to either live how you are or say something and have the possibility of eviction.
Go to your city housing authority. They will only charge you rent based on your income, you sound like a low-income person. I took a family of 2 parents and 5 children to our local authority after I visited their home with no running water due to a bad water heater. They paid just $1 a month and were responsible for their utilities. Also, go to your Community-Based Services to see if they have any suggestions.
What does this have to do with parenting?
I’m in the same situation but roommates are my kids and Noone willing to buy them with covid going on
You let the rubbish sit there for weeks and gather flies too? Maybe she thinks you’re okay with it, talk to her.
There’s nothing you can do legally. Talk to her maybe she’ll give you a discounted rate if you do the cleaning. If not, find another place.
Type up a fake letter from the apartments main officw explaining they will be in to do an inspection in two days. If that dont make her budge, just gonna have to move out. Some people will be dirty forever
Did you talk to your roommate ? Chip in house cleaner? Put the garbage in her room? Not much you can do if she’s not willing to clean and do her share. What were the conditions of the house when you moved in? Clean or move. You’ll prob have to move out. You can’t change the stripes on a zebra.
Tell her to knock some $ off your rent each month for cleaning and clean the place.
Any chance she has mental health issues? Like is she maybe depressed? Have you tried talking to her about it? Is she your friend or just a roommate?
Tell her you need a meeting. Schedule it within the next couple of days…tell her you think now that you have been there for x amount of time and maybe there has to be a discussion around expectations. Tell her she can bring up.anything with you…and of course you will be airing your concerns. Get it out in the open…she knows it’s slack. Best if luck
You should have never moved in in the first place. From what you are saying you had to deep clean the place when you moved in so you obviously saw the way she lived.
If you’re not the lease holder and haven’t signed a contract with her I dont think there’s anything you can do legally tbh
Is she always like this or is it a sudden change ?
Maybe she’s suffering depression or she was never taught housekeeping
No door i dont understand but stick a curtain up or fit a door and take the cost out your rent…tell her first .
Talk to her…maybe there’s a problem you dont know about
Make a plan to clean together with chat and music …cleaning is always better with company.
Ask her if she wants to employ you as a cleaner and get your rent reduced
Personally id clean it till I could move…Its bad for your health to live in dirt…but going on housing lists takes forever as you’re adequately housed …you may have to go homeless to get somewhere
Have you talked to her? Have you talked to your landlord?
I get it’s annoying, but your also the part of the problem with the flies if your allowing the trash to sit there too.
Red apple cider vinegar with dish soap in a dish will clear up fruit flies as well as taking out the trash. I know you feel it is not your responsibility allow but that is an easy solution to make the situation more bearable until you can find another place to live.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My roommate is living is squalor, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
If you never signed anything then stop paying until your friend gets their act together
You haven’t signed nothing therefore nothing legally you can do your renting a room from a friend and surely if your mates you had been to her house before? If so why move in if she loves like that ?! Also why don’t you speak to her normally when people loose all motivation it’s normally depression or something along the lines of that.
For that kind of money is there a hostel anywhere close you can rent a room in or a bed in a small dorm?
find a better place there not hard to find even if its a share house for now I got my own rental for $370
Have you tried just talking to her about it?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My roommate is living is squalor, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
If your only paying $325 a month, I’d invest in a door and take the garbage out. Maybe she’ll take the hint.
What if you both pitched in on some help with the clean up? Get someone in there one day a week to deep clean and split the cost.
Tell her to clean it, you have a right to a clean house tell her to take the rubbish out or say you are only giving her certain amount if money
Well tell her to take care of it . And I’m a little confused , you eventually take it down ? I’m not saying pick up her slack , but if it’s sitting there for weeks ?
I guess I’m wondering why you moved in in the first place? If she is that nasty, and you had to clean the place from top to bottom when you first got there, then you already knew. Without trying to sound rude, you did it to yourself. That living habit isn’t learned overnight. I’m not saying it’s right, but sounds like you moved in think you would clean then everything would just stay that way. I hope you find something quickly, but still having a hard time understanding why you ended up there in the first place. Even if it wasn’t as bad as it is now, it was still bad enough that you felt the need that it needed cleaning from top to bottom.
Sounds like depression, I been there unfortunately. Have a talk with her. Motivate and help her. Some of us jus don’t have it in us…
Personally I would just sanitize things in my vicinity to keep my health until I could move. Mayne set a fly trap. Clean the bathroom I use before I use it. Ect. Make sure you bleach the kitchen counters before you use them or order out. Find a friend’s house to go hang out at sometimes. You will get through this. I mean if it is that bad I would go to a homeless shelter and use their facilities and resources to get a new place. You don’t ha e to tell anyone you looked for those types of services if you don’t want to. Good luck. Keep looking for a new place every chance you get. Also you can spray adams flea spray kills roaches, spiders, dust mites, and silverfish. Just saying.
Because you are not on the lease, technically you don’t really live there, meaning you have no legal steps you can take. I would not pay her another dime. She can’t have you removed (depending on what state you are in). It would be more trouble for her. I would save up my money and try to move out ASAP. If she questions about the rent tell her exactly what you wrote here you should not have to pay 325 a month to live in filthy conditions. Tell her either clean it up or I’m gone. Still look for somewhere else because it sounds like it is only going to get worse. Mind you her landlord could throw her out if a inspection is done and the place is in that condition. Best of luck.
I’m pretty sure I would keep the place clean just for myself, forget the roommate! If she wants to keep her room nasty then so be it, but anywhere you are at then clean hun, because COVID IS THE REAL DEAL!! & if you haven’t gotten it yet then I’m not sure how living in squander!! Sit her down & have a face to face talk between the two of you, if she breaks down then it is probably something to do with her mental health, if not then she is just lazy & expecting you to do it! Find you a studio apt & get the heck out of there dear!! She will be the one fudged once you leave & definitely won’t be able to find anyone else to move into there with the place that nasty! Does the landlord not do inspections??
You live there too. If you’re not happy speak up and also clean up as well. So the trash is left by the door for weeks yet it doesn’t bother you enough to take it out when you go by it? Tell her straight up its gross and things need to change or you’re moving out and tell her you’ve been looking because living with her is apparently to much. Any other roomate she gets will feel the same. But as roomates it takes 2 to tango. You’re choosing to live like that and you are being petty by not even taking the trash down. Im sure you guys are the talk of the place if it’s as bad as you say. 325x 3-4 months you’ll have enough to put down on a 1 bedroom for yourself. You’re not on a lease or signed to anything to tell her to get some bleach and cleaning supplies and work together or pack up and go. 🤷
It really sounds like she might have some depression going on!!! Have you tried talking to her about this??? I suffer from depression and anxiety and there was a point before I used to take meds where my friends were coming to my house trying to force me to eat and get outta bed… And whatever dishes that weren’t clean would just be there until either I got up and did it or my friends did them upon trying to get me out of bed!!! Best of luck to you 
Sounds like depression. I’ve been there. You know there’s a mess but you just CANT do anything about it. Not that it’s an excuse, I hate living in messes made by other people. Try talking to your friend & go from there!
Sounds like she needs mental health help.
You can withhold rent. While doing so, open an escrow account and put your portion of the rent in there until the living conditions are cleaner… But you said your not on the lease so she could try and kick you out… unless your mail goes there, then technically your a tenant…
HONESTLY tell her she needs to clean up the house and keep it clean or your not going to pay rent unless she cleans!*
Sorry and good luck !
Just gotta keep looking.
I was in your shoes as well, except it was roaches, and bed bugs. They didn’t clean up after their dogs at all, it was always me. I was literally sent to the hospital 3 different times in a 5 month span because of it. I was the only one out of 3 who was bothered by it and tried doing something about it repeatedly
Did you tell her that you have a problem with the mess? As crazy as it seems that may be normal to her. Something like “listen, we are going to have to make some kind arrangement for daily housecleaning” lay out what bothers you ( as unbelievable as it will feel because you would assume people would know when things are gross but 
). Say that it’s causing you to have to look for somewhere else to stay but wanted to see if it could be worked out between the two of you first.
$325 a month is an awesome price, we pay 4 times that for a tiny 2 bedroom house. Why not just go buy a door? She might have depression or something. Id talk to her snd see if she’s ok and I would take out the trash and tell her what responsibilities you’re willing to do around the house and ask what she can do to help.
As you are not of the lease legally you can do anything.
However you can talk to your so called friend about the way it is effecting you and ask her to come to some compromise.
Alternatively if you want to be an ass get a cleaner in, pay them out of your rent and give her the remaining, and tell her if she doesnt clean you will continue to do this
We have a dry erase board that I drew my cleaning schedule on in permanent marker (so I don’t have to rewrite it) and I use the dry erase markers to “check” them off each day. I have a split cleaning schedule as this works best for me vs one cleaning day a week, etc.
I deal with anxiety/depression/ADHD so I’m sure y’all can imagine the total chaos that is my brain… the act of making an effort to clean is a chore in itself some days. My chart & split cleaning schedule are major key to my house staying clean. Maybe suggest something similar? A visual aid to hold “yourselves” (her without saying it’s her) accountable. I’ll see if I have the list of my cleaning schedule to post!
You need to confront your friend. At some point this becomes a mental health issue. Living in those conditions is not healthy. Move out. The sooner the better.
Legally nothing you can do pretty sure. She allowed you to move in doesnt mean she needs to keep it clean. Granted sounds so nasty but its technically not your place so either gotta suck it up or clean up after her nasty ass till u find somewhere else which u probably wont for that price not where I m from anywaya
Walgreens walmart sells plastic apples with solution that kills them. Pretty essy fix. If garbage needs to go out… Just take bag out. 325 is nothing. I have a $924 mortgage… Plus other bills. Keep looking… Give ur notice when find new place
Sounds like they may have some mental health problems, far from an excuse, but you can’t be the hero in everyone’s story, you have to concentrate on yourself, I’d sit down and have a proper talk with them and explain your feelings and intentions, you have to communicate xx
Perhaps sit down and talk to her about it and ask if you can write up a roster of shared chores and tell her you want to make it work but everyone needs to pitch in, if she refuses tell her you will be finding somewhere hygienic to live as your mental health is important.
I would just stop paying and then go somewhere like even a hotel. Maybe a coworkers couch would even be better
Find out how much it is to get a cleaner for each area of the house eg kitchen $20 living room $20 bathroom $15 etc then start in the kitchen take a before photo then clean it and take an after photo. Email them to her and say U will be taking the cleaning fee out of your share of the rent. Tomorrow u will be cleaning the bathroom and the cleaning fee will be $xx which will also come out of your rent. Or she can clean it herself and U will continue with your rent.
I’m surprised by the amount of people saying you should be doing whatever cleaning needs done by yourself, even if you didn’t dirty it. Hopefully as friends/roommates you’d help each other out sometimes but it seems like you clean up after yourself and any mess left is hers. Who the hell wants to go to work/school, come home and have to clean up after your roommate?! I’m sure she has the time and is capable so I’d be genuine, caring and see if there’s something she’s dealing with. I think anyone that’s not bothered by trash rotting inside their house is either depressed or just not a clean person. I’ve been in a similar situation renting a room in a friends house. After a couple months she got comfortable with me I guess. She told me upfront her family paid her house off and all we had was the power bill and a few dollars to take the trash to the dump. I had no problem paying only $400 a month. We had so much fun together. But when she started living how she normally does I was having to clean the kitchen every night before I could use it, days of takeout boxes, drinks, dishes, beers everywhere, floors filthy, everything dusty or sticky, bathroom gross af. I cleaned what had to but it was getting exhausting and I couldn’t do everything alone. I told her it’s none of my business what she does with my rent but I’m not paying $400 to be her maid. if her mess didn’t bother her that’s okay but it’s unfair when your roommates cleaning for an hour after working 12 so they can cook dinner and watch a Redbox movie. We were able to talk it out and I hope you can too!
You live there too and huge chances are is the place was probably not super clean when you moved in. Do you and your roommate own any cleaning supplies?
I know a a few ppl that live really gross and the one thing they all gave in common is that they never purchase things like spray bleach, mr clean, paper towels, Lysol cloths, sponges, magic erasers, vim, dish soap, wash bucket, broom, mop, vacuum, etc…like just basic things needed to clean.
You could just start cleaning for your own well-being. Like the bathroom and kitchen.
Write a check list of things that needs to be done to get the place back into livable conditions. Give your roommate some tasks. Show them the proper way to clean. I’m sure you will both feel happier when your living environment is clean.
Maybe they weren’t taught how to clean properly. If they were raised in gross garbage hoarder houses like with chip bags and dirty Kleenex , and things like food garbage and dirty dishes strewn all over the place they usually end up living gross as well because they don’t know it’s not normal to live like that.
$325 isn’t bad for renting a room. I’m in Canada and my friend was paying $600 for a room and his room was half the size of my room in my 1 bdrm apartment. Rent prices are crazy everywhere so it might be easier for you to just stay and help get the place back in shape so you can save and move on to your own place.
Also since your name isn’t on the lease then you have no legal rights as you are basically a ghost tenant.
Another thing just take the garbage to the dumpster if they don’t because you two are both being lazy and you are going to get maggots if you leave garbage around or don’t take it out. I’d say the clean up you will have for maggots will be far worse then taking the bag of garbage to the dumpster.
Just give her notice to be polite and then find a new place and go. You don’t have to tell her crap if you’re not on the lease honestly but you should let her know
Sounds like she’s depressed. I have definitely been there myself. You know its messy but cant find energy to do anything about it. And when you come out of it, you finally see how dirty it is. You don’t see that thru the depression though.
If she is your friend, you must have known her living conditions beforehand. Sounds like she has a mental health issue.
Move is all I can suggest I don’t believe you have another recourse. Sounds horrible perhaps a shelter?
If you have no lease and the place is uninhabitable you can move out without any concerns.
But in order to make it as amicable as possible I would give 30 days notice pay the last months rent and vacate
You sound pretty ungrateful good luck finding a place for 325
Hire a maid split the bill
Sounds lazy. Move put asap.
Yea if your not on the lease there’s about nothing that can be done. Also I know it suuuucks but where will u find another place so cheap? Living in filth is awful and don’t suggest to anyone but will u be able to afford all bills on your own elsewhere so this doesn’t happen again. ? Bc this shit happened with every roommate situation… Bc honestly if someone was only paying that much and was talking shit about how I lived I’d kick em out. So just watch yourself since you are not on the lease. Your roommate is king of the castle gross or not their on the lease they live how they want to if u gots a problem pack ND go
Is she renting as well? If so you need to talk to the landlord
I think you can report her to your state’s housing department. If she’s renting her shit out she has guidelines she needs to follow to stay legal
Get another job and move , pay more for rent
Depending on which state ur in even if ur not on the lease she can’t kick u out for with holding rent… the police will back u up if u have been there 30+ days even if she tries to kick u out… just tell her straight up ur not paying until she cleans her mess or rent free and you’ll keep it clean
Why is there no door on your room. That’s concerning for me, I couldn’t live in filth so I’d just clean it, especially kitchen and bathroom
First.go online and research your options. Than document. Can be written on a napkin. Then really look at the situation and weigh your options. And again go online so you know your legal options
Just move and wash your hands of the situation ASAP! Not worth it! Actually run!!
Hire someone to clean and take it out of your rent. She knows what she’s doing.
I just went through this. Shared a house with my brother & his boyfriend moved in & he was disgusting! I moved out 3 months later! Couldn’t t take it anymore! I’m sorry you’re going through that! It’s so stressful & is miserable not wanting to even go “home”. Keep looking for a place of your own. Hopefully you find something soon.
I ended up blowing up and throwing shit and he was clean for a few days then went back to the same nasty. So I moved out.
Move. I had a roommate like that and I couldnt take it anymore. I tried to talk to her too and it got no where. She was a hoarder and wouldnt admit it. The kitchen…boxes from floor to ceiling no table. I made some room on the counter the fridge… all nasty leftover food she wouldn’t throw it out. Her room stank of dog pee with 4 dogs ugh I lasted a month. It was disgusting. I was trying to save but it wasn’t worth it. I even tried helping her clean. She needed and still needs help.
Motel,hotel, tent, caravan sound better and worth your money than this
Depression is real… It is debilitating. And it does not make one lazy.
Lack of motivation is the worst.
Girl I just had to kick my friend out of my place because of the same thing. You have to move
How are you letting the trash sit there for weeks? I understand that she should do her part in being sanitary. Did you know she was this nasty before becoming her roommate? If it were me, I’d pay the $325 and keep the place clean
for myself. And… the fruit flies should be taken care of by the landlord or leasing company… unless they are there because of trash sitting around for weeks! Try talking to your friend and see if there’s a way you guys could plan on certain days to do cleaning. Some people hate taking out the trash while others hard cleaning the bathroom. See if there is a way for you both to pitch in!
Ring the landlord up and stop doing the work
Try asking her if she’s alright and then say listen dude this apartment is nasty, like legit we can’t live like this. It needs to change. Then say, next weekend let’s clean tf out of it and get it back to normalcy, so you can feel better and we can get on some sort of schedule …
Definitely sounds like depression. To the fullest.
don’t bother with saying or doing anything to the person you rent from its not worth it smh! see if you can go to a family member or to a friend’s home until you find something better. Goodluck!
I would take pics get the landlord involved coz that’s not on is ur friend depressed maybe still wrong either way I certainly wouldn’t live like that so I would go to landlord in sure he dosent want his home like that and yes legally u should have a door ect homes do have to be in a good state to rent out
A major discussion is in order with her on this issue. Find out her problem lazy or depressed. You have rights here as this is healthy. If she is in need of mental health care help her get it. Being this is an apartment I’m surprised a neighbor hasn’t filed a complaint with the complex manager. If they decide to inspect the apartment you both face eviction. If she refuses to pitch in with cleaning tell her you’ll do it for $100 (or what you deem fair) per month. Take it off your rent. Be sure you both sign a dated agreement. It can be hand written but both need to sign and receive a copy. You can also ask the manager to put up a door. In college we used a lined curtain and tension rod for privacy for a roommate that elected to use the dining room instead of sharing a room in our 3 bedroom house.
I’d tell her I’m going to start taking my cleaning fees out of my rent. It’s common courtesy to clean up after yourself in common areas when living with roommates. Fuck your own room up, not the space we all have to share.
I would talk to her to see if anything is going on like mental health or so and the proceed as to why you are asking her those questions and if she refuses to clean and somehow puts it off on you then I would tell her that she can either help clean or you won’t be paying her as much rent any more. And when you move out I wouldn’t give a notice or anything.
Your best option is move. I had a gross roommate like that. When I moved in she made an excuse for the mess but it became apparent that is just how she lived. Some people are just gross. I would cut my losses if I were you and just find some place else to rent
Stop enabling her she’s disgusting, move out without even saying anything to her. She does these things because she knows you will clean up and do the rest let her live in filth all by herself and get a place asap
Vinegar diluted in water will help with the fruit flies and if they are still around then there is fruit somewhere that you can’t see. Sit and talk to your friend you might find out why she is doing what she is might be a underlying issue. Especially if she wasn’t like this before. And 325 a month that’s not bad I charge my son 500mth and doesn’t cover everything. But you are looking for somewhere so now focus on that let your mate know your plans as well.
You need to confront her and if she’s not willing to do anything tell her you’re leaving and that if she doesn’t clean up her act you’re going to report it to whoever she’s renting from
Rooms in my are $800ish. $325 is a steal
All you can do is find a new place to live.
She sounds like she is either struggling or just doesn’t give a shit.
She could have have depression, chronic pain, or just be lazy-
Ask her what’s going on? Maybe she needs a housekeeper? Or is willing to take some off the rent if you do that job?
Talk to her first.
Sounds like u live with an inconsiderate nasty ITCH
Call her mom to come over and take a look at it
Tell the apartment ppl.