Looking for advice on are son he is 7 and he is still peeing his pants all day long but will use toilet at school like he is supposed to we have took him to many doctors they have done test after test and everything was fine help he is ruining the furniture we have tried rewards and schedule breaks nothing is working.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My seven year old still has pee accidents at home
Sounds like something is triggering it and that school is his safe place which is y he isn’t having accidents there
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One of my boys had this issue when he was younger, his dr prescribed a nasal spray he used before bed, it was a hormone issue, ADH. It helped in very short time!
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Water only until he can use the bathroom correctly! I’m sure his lil outlook will change kids like flavors!
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He needs more of your attention
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It sounds like he is lazy. If he’s fine at school, he doesn’t want that embarrassment from peers. Maybe tell him you’re inviting other kids over.
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It’s a choice he’s making 
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My baby bro had this problem and he also had no health issues !My parents had to remind him every few hrs to go potty he got to busy and was lazy about it …they Also made him clean up the pee messes he made it stopped after they did these things !
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OMG I have the same problem with my almost 7 year old, same situation, done tests everything , perfectly fine at school, he acts extremely disappointed when we find out but will do it without care and just sit in it. Tried being nice and talking about it. Tried taking things away. Tried spending extra time with him. Nothing works.
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My 4 yr old step son is doing this. Except he doesnt go to school so its just if hes emotional he’ll pee his pants. His mom also recently stopped taking them every other week like shes supposed to with no reason except shes a deadbeat. So maybe theres something more going on in his personal life than you know
Sounds like something is triggering him at home. School seems to be his safe space, which doesn’t seem right. When being home should be any child’s safe space. 
I feel like there’s more to the story.
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Make him do the clean up, hand wash his clothes and the furniture, if he can manage to use the bathroom at school he is choosing to wet himself.
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Have a hourly alarm on, as a toilet bell. He goes and trys every hour, should be either the routine he needs from distraction or it will be annoying enough for him that he’ll use the toilet on his own
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If hes dry at school hes obviously not incontinent…so why is he wetting himself at home… sounds deliberate. Keep with the reward charts and regular toilet breaks. Ask him why hes doing it at home and not at school. Make him clean up his own mess…including wet clothes…stay calm and dont show him you’re frustrated
Dont limit fluid intake …youll cause infections…but don’t give blackcurrant as it can irritate the bladder . Pull ups as a last resort to protect the furniture but might just make him more inclined to wet .
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What about spending more time with him. Maybe he is reaching out for more quality time. Maybe a date day once a week if he is reduces his accidents by half then go from there. I know it’d impossible some days to even get quality time to yourself I struggle spending that 1 to 1 time with mt kiddo with working filltime and cooking snd cleaning. If he csn go all day at school he csn totally do it. There’s got to be something to encourage him to use the toilet or communicate his need to use the washroom. Being 7 is hard too! Your still the best mom he could have 
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Time when he goes. Chart it, then make him stick to a schedule
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It’s attention seeker… He Might be a hormonal thing but I am guessing it’s just because he needs more of your attention
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Is he autistic? A bunch of moms with kids with autism have this behavior.
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You wack that butt one good time and he’ll stop!
I would start asking him if anyone is touching him where they arent supposed to…
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Whom is molesting him?
That is a sign of being Molested.
Prayers Mommy!
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My 5 year old daughter does this! Mostly when she is playing with her sister because she doesn’t want to miss out on ANYTHING ever. It’s frustrating. I understand how you feel! I was worried for a long time but I’ve finally realized the problem and talked to her about it as best as I can.
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Bathrooms alarm. Set one every hr or so, and get him to try even if it’s just a little. Say good job I’m proud of you. If he makes an accident don’t get mad at him and make him feel bad. Say I have done this many times now it’s your turn until you use the potty all the time then you don’t have to clean up your own mess. Praise him after he cleans up his mess. He will feel like he is doing something right and will maybe keep at it.
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Take him to the chiropractor.
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Do you pay attention to him at home?
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Definitely sounds like he is seeking attention. Or struggling with some kind of change in his life. Many kids have had a tough time getting back into the swing of things this year. Covid changed so many people’s schedules. Were you all home together during lock down? Was he limited to a smaller group of people? Maybe he is just dealing with something he doesn’t know how to talk about. Kids try things they know they shouldn’t do to get parents attention positive or negative attention. He has figured out If he wets himself someone helps him. It gets an adults engaged and the adult reacts to the situation. He may not be doing to be naughty he may just see that he gets someone to help him. Try to see if there is something that has changed in his environment. May be a problem at school and he doesn’t feel he can talk to teachers and he doesn’t want to be embarrassed by his peers. He may feel safe at home and is wetting to get you to ask questions. Kids are very smart but some don’t know how to verbalize feelings.
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Sometimes urinary incontinence happens because children’s bladders, genitals, urinary tracts or urethras haven’t developed properly, which means they don’t work properly. Some children have overactive bladders, which means their bladders don’t store urine the way they’re supposed to.
Have the doctors asked about his poop? My son struggled for a whole we went to Children’s to get looked at they showed him a poo chart and he was mildly constipated and his receptor that tells you need to poo is the same that tells you to pee if mild constipation is happening he may not feel it. As far as at home vs school he may be going more often to not have an accident at school.
Cover the furniture with plastic too. Maybe some time with a pediatric psychiatrist to ferret out or rule out emotional issues. Does he wet the bed? There’s an alarm that will detect something and wake them up to go at night. Good luck mama! You’re doing a good job and it WILL get better.
He can do it if he chooses to. If he can do it all day at school there is no reason he shouldnt beable to at home. Stay on him every half hour if you have to.
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Maybe a good old fashioned paddling will help.
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My son did the same thing and he finally grew out of it youhang in there he will eventually stop I just cleaned up and didn’t get on to him and he just stopped he’s a grown man know and a amazing son 
My son is 4 and he would go to the bathroom constantly by himself without being told, before my daughter was born he started having accidents and choosing not to go he started pooping and peeing himself on purpose and after the baby was born he got worse we was literally in a waiting room one time and he set there and peed his underwear didn’t say anything about having to go or nothing, fussing at him didn’t help, he was choosing not to go so what I did was tell him that if he used the potty like he was supposed to he would get a treat he now doesn’t have accidents, and yes he gets attention and I spend time with him, but sometimes they just slack a little bit but when they do go praise them and offer rewards
He is having more anxiety at home than school. The teachers do potty breaks to remind them. Maybe he’s playing so much that he forgets. Maybe he’s subconsciously doing it on purpose. There’s a reason why he does it at home and not at school. Find the reason and it can be fixed. It use a wooden spoon and pop his bottom a couple times to teach him respect for your possessions. Therapy or spoon. Choose wisely. God bless.
Why would yall go straight to spanking a child for accidents! Most likely if it’s a boy their bladders are slower to develop causing accidents! It’s not thier fault and shouldn’t be punished for it!! I have a son who is 9 and still does and his doctor has told us that it could happen till 12 or so when his bladder matures… also it’s embarrassing to them and pushing them is wrong!!! There is a medicine that can help please talk to your doctor
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He must sleep hard at night cut out all sodas juice or water around 6 or 7 wake him up twice thru out the night this should help.
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My nephew would pee himself if “he didn’t feel like getting up”. Typically when he was watching his favorite show or playing his game. He was about the same age. I think my sister started making him clean it up then it stopped.
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Try a Urologist or a therapist
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The ONLY way I was able to potty train my daughter was to take her to the bathroom each time I went and had her sit on her potty and “try.” After that, she started doing it by herself.
Try having him do the equivalent of kegal exercises for a girl. He needs to strengthen the muscles. Every day. 10 times. He can do them anywhere.
I did this as a kid and my oldest son did it until he was 12. Nothing was ever wrong but his pediatrician said that he was such a deep sleeper that he couldn’t wake himself up to pee. He’s 13 now and has grown out of it. Good luck momma! Stay strong cus I know we went thru 5 sets of couchs and mattresses because of it​:heartbeat:
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My daughter wets the bed at night still she’s 6. The dr told us that they will stop when they want to. That it usually stops on its own
He knows how to do it, for whatever reason he’s not doing it at home. It’s most likely for attention or he’s playing and doesn’t want to stop to go. Disciplining him will only make it worse, try a reward chart. Start with treats or small toys every time he goes, once he makes it thru day for a little while than switch it to the week and than the month.
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There is clearly something different at home than at school. I would make him clean his own urine up every time he has an accident. Usually solves the attention card quickly. Consequences for his actions should match the situation.
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Whip his ass…if he can do it at school …he is just being lazy
Sounds like he needs some get right.
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This escalated pretty quickly. I hope he is okay whatever the reason.
Severe constipation caused in our girls. Urologist didn’t catch it. Her pediatrician did an xray and yep she was full of poo.
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Has a MRI from head to tailbone been done?
I ask because it sounds like Chiari Malformation with Tethered cord…
Brainstem compression causes the “messages” not to be received correctly…
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How long have you stuck with any particular discipline? Reward charts & schedules are good. But they don’t work over night. Also do you stay with the same enthusiasm as you begin with? The reward chart has to be something he wants to thrive for. Stickers themselves don’t usually work for 7yos. Does he get something else after so many stickers? I have a store. Once a month they “buy” things with the money they earned. I get my “merchandise” from when I have to pick up after them. Leave stuff out it gets taken. You or your sibling can buy it back. I also buy new stuff at thrift stores, garage sales etc when I’m low. You can do that but corporate using the bathroom.
Since it’s not medical it may be phycological. Others mentioned the possibility that he’s being molested or is autistic. You may want to talk to a professional about those. It may also be your home environment. A lot of stress in the home, lack of attention can cause behavior problems.
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Pull ups at home. Maybe try a reward system!
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He does it at school no issue. its not a medical issue I am thinking an attention attempt at home. Maybe
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Has he seen an endocrinologist to rule out type 1 diabetes? He may also be dealing with a spinal cord emergency like tethered cord or cauda equina syndrome.
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If you have a bedtime set cut drinks back maybe an hour or so earlier and just make sure he’s using the bathroom between the hours that he has no drinks in it should empty his bladder
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Since he’s doing this during the day and only at home and seems fine at school, he could be stressed about things that are going on at home. Any chance that there maybe abusive situations happening? Abuse doesn’t have to be limited to physical could be mental and/or emotional…
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My kid did this too. But only if he was playing a game. Like he would literally rather pee his pants than put the damn thing down. And that was when we implemented screen time limits. 
If he has been into a medical doctor then it’s time to get him a psychologist. Something emotional is going on. I’m not saying it’s abuse at home or stress from many things but it is something going on to the point where that is where he feels he has a little bit of control. I don’t want to blame anything or anyone but if it’s happening at home but not at school then you have a very big issue at home. Maybe you’re unaware but maybe someone in the home or near the home or visits the home or he goes and visits often is abusing him mentally, emotionally or sexually.
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My sibling had similar issues mum figured out it was fizzy drink didn’t matter what time during the day it was drunk
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I’d say pull-ups until he out grows it. Better that than constantly cleaning up pee.
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Could he have ADHD?
Both of my kids have done this after being potty trained. It was because they were so hyperfocused on what they were doing they didn’t feel their body’s cues to go. Even with prompting they wouldn’t step away. Or if they did they’d walk into the bathroom and walk out.
In addition to treating their ADHD…we took whatever they wouldn’t step away from away for the rest of the day.
They got it back the next morning to try to do better.
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It’s a behavioral problem not a physical problem. Does he feel safe and respected at home? Is he scared of something?
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Sounds like he’s being lazy at home…make him clean up his own messes, and start taking thi gs away from him when he does it.
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If he follows through at school and not at home it simply means he’s just being naughty… I think a scare tactic… Used it twice with both my boys to get rid of diapers. Worked marvelously… Which bug he’s scared of? Catch a few, place them where he pees, tell him the bugs live on his pee and will soon start to crawl on his body cos of the pee being visible to them. By peeing in the toilet, it’s flushed quickly before the bugs get to it…
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Maybe bring him by his doctor.
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Red flags. I’m not saying this is what is going on but a lot of kids that are sexually abused wet themselves. Time to talk to a child therapist to rule it out. 
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Gets a lot of attention for doing that doesn’t he? Rewarding bad behavior will result in more of the same! Have you taken him to a child psychologist? If there is not a physical reason the there may be a psychological reason.
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This doesn’t mean the child is being abused. There may be something seriously going on here , please have him checked for Autism . Do not punish him … Instead help him , guide him , talk to him and listen !! He’s just as frustrated as you are I can assure you . Be patient with him and kind ! Furniture can be replaced , his ego and self esteem can’t !!
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We have a similar issue but for us it is mostly night time wetting with occasional day time accidents especially if he is playing and doesn’t want to stop what he is doing. The Dr said it sort of sounds like busy child syndrome and we have to be more on top of him to make sure he is taking the time to go every so often and making sure he is being hygienic. We also are going to start therapy just to help because he is anxious and a little bit OCD. Although it is frustrating I do not punish him, we try to use the bathroom twice before bed, and pull ups when we have them to keep me sane from doing laundry. Good luck mama
Some of these comments on here disgust me btw and I understand how frustrating it can be because I deal with it often but can’t believe some of these “adults”
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Make him clean his own messes. You’ve tried all of the “nice/supportive” tactics. He doesn’t do it at school because he doesn’t want to be embarrassed, which also shows he has complete control and knows exactly what he’s doing.
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If you are sure he is not being abused, then try reward training. Get a big glass jar, fill it with M&Ms, show him the jar, put it where he can’t reach it and tell him he can have a handful every time he uses the toilet and washes his hands. Don’t let him have any candy at any other time. I used this on all four of my kids and they trained in record time. But no kidding - CHECK ABOUT THE ABUSE.
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My friends son was doing this also but he was 10 and I suggested this thing because I had seen it online and the reviews were very good. She had also brought him to the doctors and tests were done and everything and nothing was wrong. After 2 weeks of using this pee monitor he had no more accidents while awake or asleep.
Thats usually a sign of sexual abuse hun…im not saying for a positive thats what happening but that is one big thing they mention when looking into something like that.
He knows he can get by with it at home. Spank him!
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