My sister is spoiled and has no remorse for anything: Advice?

My sister is 15 yo, and my dad has spoiled her completely rotten. She has no remorse for anything she’s ever done, and also shes never been made to say sorry, help herself, or even been in a child’s role. They allow her to tell them what they are going to do. All this aside, I love her, and we really try to make it work. Except, this week during Thanksgiving, she accused my 8yo son of stealing a small toy she had “seen in his hands” when, in fact, her mother gave it to him to play with. (I heard and saw with my own eyes) She went on to screaming at everyone in the house to find the lost toy while talking incredibly rude to my son and just sat there at the table, not looking at herself. I asked my son what happened to the toy, and he said he left it at her house. We we’re literally 15 mins from leaving their house to go home when she caused this drama. In the end, she screamed until we walked out without saying goodbye, my son cried half the way home, and I’m just floored. I’m so upset my dad allowed her to handle the situation like this. It could have easily been handled as " if you find it when your home, please mail it back to us immediately it was a gift from so-in-so. ". Instead, she was allowed to ruin five people’s day and my son’s experience with his grandfather before we left. I’m due this week, and I don’t want her there unless she apologizes to my son first or when she arrives. Am I wrong for that? Am I wrong for standing up for my son even if it means my dad and stepmom cant show up to the hospital with her? I used this situation as a life lesson for my son and explained to my son in the car that sometimes I’m a hard mommy, but at least he doesn’t act like that in public or act like that to people. He agreed and stopped crying. He actually told me thank you I don’t let him act like that.

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No you’re not wrong. Sounds like it’s a wake up call for her behavior and she needs to know that acting like that has real-world consequences.

u have every right to be upset & she should apologize to ur son he’s just an innocent child .sounds like she’s needs a serious attitude adjustment

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Nope you’re not wrong at all. They need to teach her how real life is or it’s really gonna bite them in the butt in a few years with her.

Your child comes first so I think you are handling it the right way. If she acts like that I wouldnt want her around when I give birth. You and baby dont need that stress/drama.

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Not unreasonable. Your son is your priority not her tantrums. You need to set boundaries and stick to them. I’m sorry your having to deal with this. I have an older sister (in her mid 40’s) that behaves this way. I have closer relationships with friends than I do her because of how volatile the situations can become and I refuse to allow my children to be exposed to that type of behavior.

I have an adopted sister that was spoiled the exact same way, needless to say i do not have contact with any of them. Nothing but peace in my life. It’s not her fault, it is your parent’s fault. Can’t really blame her she was raised that way.

Not wrong. Teach that little bitch (yeah I said it, that’s what she is) a lesson. Thank God my 15 year old step daughter doesn’t act like that. Your child comes first, always remember that

Wow. That kind of behavior from a 15 YEAR OLD is ridiculous. She needs a serious attitude adjustment forsure. She should be embarrassed for that kind of behavior at her age!

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No you’re not wrong at all with all due respect your sister needs a good ass whooping, got me fucked up. .

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You are not wrong, if she was my little sister she would have some black eyes and maybe some broken bones for talking to my child the way she did, I would be very careful about letting her around my children ever, and if she ever does anything like that again I would be knocking the taste out of her mouth, no one treats my child like that

Sounds like your sister is a psychopath. I’d stay away from her as much as possible. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to interact with them if they are toxic. Your son comes first.

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sounds like the 15 year old has some deeper issues. if she’s autistic… its not always as simple as ‘punishing to make them act right.’ so yes you could be wrong. but without knowing the entire story, there’s no way for a bunch of strangers on the internet to tell you.

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1st, you didn’t stand up for your son!! YOU also allowed her to act up and treat your son like crap!! You keep blaming just your dad, but you allow and condone her behavior as well!! There’s no way in hell I would have sat there, did nothing, and allow someone to yell at my child like that, sister or not!! Put on your big girl panties, call your sister and straight up tell her that her behavior that night was not right!! Tell that if she doesn’t apologize she’s not allowed around your kids!! Stop allowing and condoning her behavior cause that’s all you are doing by not telling her straight up what the issue is!! Stop being scared of a 15 year old!!

Let your dad know your sister isn’t invited to the hospital until she apologizes to your son. And not at the hospital so she can cause more drama. This is your time with your brand new baby and your sister somehow thinks she’s the baby. Time for her to grow up and good for you for not slapping your sister across the face for screaming at your son over a toy. Really, a toy. She is 15 years old. Grow the F**k up.

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I would not have her in my home without an apology

Why would you allow your son and yourself to be around toxic people like her? Learn to love from afar trust me you will be much happier.

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Stay away from u sister

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I would have told her off right there and if u wasn’t pregnant you should have kicked her ass bc obviously the parents weren’t going to stop you.

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It will only get worse smh call an exorcist

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I also have a bratty little sister i feel for you :disappointed: id tell her that you dont want her there for thw way she acted … Mine has these same kind of fits over nothing and i have put my foot down . i will tell her quick dont be a bratty little ass hole or i dont want to see ypur

If you find the toy, peg it at her head.

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Why would you even want her there?
No not wrong at all.

She is an adult at 18 let her get in over her head let her figure her own life out. Kick her out in 3 years

She sounds like a narcissist brat!! I walked away from a lot of people in my life including family my kids well being is more important than anyone else. If anyone talked to my son that way I’ll let them know it’s not ok! Even if she apologizes which I doubt very much she’ll do it all over again she sounds very entitled and why put your child in the position where he’s going to feel intimidated by such a toxic person you do know it could have a lifetime affect and I’m talking from experience

Bravo mom you are not wrong if you don’t defend your child who will? His grandfather, apparently your father let’s his teenage daughter run his home ,life and family. You teach your children differently. By example tell Dad to leave sister behind unless he is going to be the adult and parent her correctly. Make her apologize to your son and you, mind her manners. That if bad behavior returns they will be turned away because you decide what type of examples are put before your child.

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She is your sister, bust her in the mouth.

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No, you’re definitely not wrong. I’m a mean big sister and she would’ve 100% been put in a little girls place right then and there. I wouldn’t allow her around my kids at all.

No you’re not wrong. It might be time to have a come to Jesus talk with your sister and your parents. Just let them know politely but firmly that you will not subject your family to her childish and immature behavior. From now on you’ll have your own holiday and family celebrations.

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Nope your rules or she can stay home

She is fifteen not five she is your sister and you love her , tell her in the nicest way 'the bitch she behaves like, before someone else does ,she will thank you later.

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I think your right
Stick to your word she will love :heart: and respect you more I have 8 kids 5 boys 3 girls my oldest is 34 and Becca loca is 18 in college and she is a hand full

Bitch slap her she sounds like she definitely needs it

To each his own. But I would have read her Azz! I had a similar situation years ago. We were at my Sister house and Her Husband accused my 6 year old Son of stealing a coin. I walked in on him shaking my Son. I immediately stopped that. I asked my Son where he got the coin. He told me his grandmother had gave it to him earlier that day. I left the coin with my brother in law. The next day when I had a chance to talk to my Mother in Law and she confirmed she had given it to him. I marched my Son right over to their house to retrieve his coin and an apology. I never looked at my Brother in Law the same and neither did my son. He’s 41 years old and He still says how protected He felt by Me on that day.

Your sister sounds like an ungrateful brat. I understand you live her, she us family. However, that is toxic to any child.
Put your foot down, tell all involved, under no circumstances will you allow anyone to treat you or your son that way from here on out! Period! And dont bother coming to the hospital. Until an apology, a sincere one, is received, and temperament is changed, they are no longer welcomed around you.
You got to keep your sanity!

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Sister or not, that is your son. He deserves an apology and I’m sorry but if your dad can’t see that, none of them deserve to be there for the birth of your baby. Personally I wouldn’t want any of them there. They allow her to act this way. I can already guess they won’t make her apologize and even if they get her to… she won’t mean it. Toxic is toxic. Protect your children

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Thank God your sister is not a Nigeria,I will help you beat ,No respect at all ,such nonsense and ingredients :roll_eyes:

People like that don’t ceehange it only gets worse. They never are sorry for anything and think th

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They think the world owes them. A pain in the ass to put up with

She’s 15 and still acts like a 2 year old?
Jesus, I wouldn’t want my family around her regardless if she says sorry or not. Rotten food doesn’t taste good even if you season it. Love from a distance, that’s just too much.

His (dad’s) fault not hers…

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Stand your ground she’ll respect you for it later!

Talk to her, message her, and be the big sister that she needs. Don’t parent her, just advise and let her know what she needs to do before your family shows up. Let her know you’re trying to raise your son a certain way and as an aunt herself she needs to see that her behavior was very unnecessary for her son to witness let alone be the object of and she needs to apologize. Then talk to your dad and tell him that if she doesn’t apologize to your son, his grandson, you don’t want them to visit.

She should not be anywhere near your son for a while and if your parents don’t put her in her place and can’t come to the hospital without her rude nasty butt then they don’t need to show up!! The 15 yr old brat knows right from wrong. She wouldn’t be around me or mine unless I got a “REAL” apology!!!

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Even AFTER an apology, don’t let her in :woman_shrugging:t2: she needs to get a smack of reality & if that needs to come in the form of nurses escorting her out of the maternity ward, so be it. Let hospital staff know shes not allowed in & they will usually take care of it

Distance and remember, she was taught this behavior

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My sister is 36 now and still talks about when I threw a telephone book at her and the outside of it at the tip went in her eye and scarred it a little. She was hollering like I tried to kill her. Should of shut up with all that bratty noise. I love my sis though

Your sister is out of control and your dad and step mom need to wake up. She sounds narcissistic and like a spoiled little brat on top of that. I would not allow them at the hospital period apology or not. The apology will not be sincere anyway. That behavior is toxic and your children do not need that and you do not either. I’m sorry you and your son had to deal with that on thanksgiving. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. You did what is right for your child.

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She doesn’t have to apologize because that’s what you want. It will not be genuine.
Your post comes across like you are very jealous of her. Best to control those emotions because it will make you look bitter and others around you.
It’s only an issue, if you make it one.
If she bothers you that much, don’t go near her.

I would of beat that ass. BUT your dad & step mom in all honesty can’t do anything about it now… They waited too long to be parents to her so now she will never listen to them. She’s on her own at this point, so good luck.

You have every right to not want negative :-1: behaving people around n I’d limit the amount you are with her !! Sorry but you’ve got to take priority in what you let into your n your kids lives,

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Slap her face :rofl::rofl: when you’re giving birth

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Shes your Sister.
You need to do what Sisters do
Before someone drags her.

You did all you could. I’d limit my exposure to people like that. Maybe call after your home, keep the hospital limited too. Sometimes, you just have to live without them, mostly. Good luck!

If they dont do something that girl is going to lead a miserable life. She sounds like a narcissist or sociopath. Either way I wouldn’t put up with that around me and mine. And once those traits set in they dont change. Save yourself some grief and tell them no more of that and cut her out of your life.

Nah you’re right she’s a brat . Don’t let her come to your birth. Your baby doesn’t need it and snot do you .

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Smack the taste out her mouth, that’ll teach her :wink:

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Please don’t make excuses for people’s shitty behavior even if they are family. I’ve learn this the hard way. Just take care of you and your children.

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Don’t worry about telling her the get the hell away. I’ve told my own siblings the same. I rather not be around them and cause more mental crap on my end.

I’d a cursed her out and given her the spanking she deserved. Foh!

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You’re absolutely right and I’m so glad you had the mind to use this as a life lesson for your son. Sounds like you’re a great mother! As far as your imp of a sister both her and her parents are at major fault. Them for setting the stage for her to act that way and her for willing continuing to act that way and take advantage of their terrible parenting. I wouldn’t let her in apology or not. Stand your ground and demand respect. Show her consequences for her actions.

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No behaviour now big shame later

If she treats your son like that she doesn’t even deserve the right to be in his or your baby’s life. You need to keep ppl like that away, even if it is your sister.

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She’s toxic and your parent enables her …she lives life with no responsibility for her behaviour and actions…she will land herself in trouble by this…if someone is toxic no matter who it is family/friends you need to cut them from your life …for your own sake and the sake of your children…I know believe me …good luck

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She wouldn’t be allowed at the hospital. I would call security. And if your parents can’t be adults and do what needs to be done then they can’t be there either. Toxic situation with a brand new baby. No, your little guy just needs to keep his head up. Forget them if that’s how they’re going to act.

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She needs a slap across her face and to stay far from ur family

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Were you sort of the “scapegoat” or was another sibling the scapegoat? It sounds like she was raised as the “golden child” if one or both parents were narcissists.

Sister of whomever personally I’d smack the taste out her mouth!
What she should have gotten when her snotty ass was growing up. Maybe by chance she’s gonna get her ass whooped once she’s out in the world and tries the wrong person! Ha

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I’m sorry that your sister’s bratty behavior is annoying. It’s hurtful that your parents don’t stand up for what’s right. That being said, if you do this, you will end up ruining an important day for your parents and maybe even down the road yourself. So in effect, tit for tat. Bratty sisters have a way of growing up. And banning her from the birth of her neice/nephew will be something you can never take back. Ever. So think long and hard before you make a decision that you can’t undo.

I would let her know before hand and her parents too that she was not to be there when my baby was born in fact that untill she apologised I don’t want anymore contact with her. Then I would standby it

Give her the silent treatment do not even pay her no mind she is spoiled rotten an your parents is to blame she will not change spoil is good but rude is shamefully ,

“If you spoil your kids when they are young, they will spoil your life when you are old. Love without discipline is hate. David spoiled Absalom and Adonijah, and they made him cry in his old age. Train your kids if you don’t want to cry in old age.”

Fifteen years old yelling at an eight year old about a toy??? Brat and daddy doesn’t see it??? Honey just go and have a healthy baby and forget about her!! You’re an awesome mom!! Of course you can’t give her a good hard slap, like she deserves, so ignore her!! All the best!

U r definitely doing the right thing!..your son is your number 1 priority and this will teach him to never tolerate disrespect from anyone. In addition, your dad needs to realize the severity of the situation. I am glad you are putting your foot down! :blush:

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No way you’re absolutely right, she needs to change her attitude or stay home and grow up.

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Sounds like family that your kids don’t deserve to be stuck with…just my 2 cents. They’ve allowed her to always be this way so it won’t change. Probably it will get worse and she will torment your kids.

I never had a siblong come to the hospital for my kids being born.

I think your a great mom and I bet your son thinks so too. She needs to apologize. There was no need to go thermonuclear over a toy and if she chooses not to, it’s her lose. You don’t need negativity around you and your baby right now. This is an incredibly special time for you and YOUR family (husband,son,any other siblings), don’t let her “all about me” drama ruin this for you! :kissing_heart:

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your comprehension sucks

Time to cut the cord

Shes going to get punched in the face one day & its all your parents fault

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Absolutely not she’s 15 you said yeah she needs to get some act right and learn her boundaries and manners sounds to me like she needs a good old-fashioned tough love

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Not wrong of you at all I wouldn’t want her there either unless she apologized

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Sometimes you just have to slap someone right across the face to get their attention

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Yeah… don’t let them in unless she apologizes. Like actually apologizing. Not faking it. If not, oh well. They dont get to see you or your kids anhmore

You are completely right. She needs to apologize big time. I wouldn’t allow her there. Hell I would have laid into her myself!

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Your son has probably forgotten by now. Lesson learned, you can’t control everyone’s actions. Just make sure you don’t raise your son like that.

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She needs a good ass whipping

Tough love for that brat

Why is a 15 year old playing with toys? I have a 15 year old and I’m lost…

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I agree with you spoiled is no excuse for bad manners. Stick to your guns

I wouldn’t allow anyone in my home that was rude to my children, regardless of relation. This is their safe space… she can make everyone else’s life miserable everywhere else. But in your home those are you rules, no exceptions. Strong boundaries build strong relationships.

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So very right you are!!

You aren’t wrong at all. I wouldn’t want her around my kids at all anymore :tipping_hand_woman:t2:
But!! If she would ever have the chance to do that shit again, she would get her ass busted :woman_shrugging:t2:

No you are not wrong. I hope and prays she says I am sorry.

I would be cutting her off till she can behaving like a soon to be adult and not a fucking toddler. Even my 3 year old doesn’t throw fits like that. Your son doesn’t deserve to witness that or be treated that way.

yeahhhh I wouldn’t have her there at all. sounds like she’ll just make more drama.

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Omg!! Stay away from her and also keep your son away from her. If your father ever asks why, remind him of this day.

Stand up to them and let your father know it is not acceptable. No.

At 15 she should be more mature.

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I wouldn’t have her there tell her spoiled self to stay home